Warning: The following story is. Yes, that's right, the following story exists. Not only does it exist, this Naruto fan fic also has the nerve to be yaoi, and A.U.. If you don't know what yaoi is, or what A.U. stands for you are already in way over your head and should probably back out now before you accidentally read something that might scar you for the rest of your life. Those of you who know what yaoi is, and don't mind a Naruto story that's set in another universe, read on. Oh and in case you're wondering the pairings are Naruto x Gaara, and Kakashi x Iruka. Gaara fans should however be warned that he doesn't even enter into the story until chapter 3 so you'll sort of have to be patient. Oh and send any comments or criticism to . Anyways on with the fic.
Run For It
by Jarrad Cravens
Chapter One: Another Day in Paradise
Naruto shook in fear and pain. "It can't end like this," he cried. "I can't die like this... Help me. Someone help me? Please?" Naruto begged, but there was no one to come and save him. It was just him and his monster. Everything had fallen apart so quickly. Now everyone was dead, and the fox demon had him cornered. Once free of its cage, the soulless creature had decimated all the other ninjas saving Naruto for last. Slowly it walked toward him, savoring its inevitable victory. Closer and closer it came; until, it's face was inches from Naruto's ocean blue eyes. He could smell the blood on the fox's maw, and see bits of torn flesh stuck between its teeth. They stood there for some time staring into each other's eyes. Delaying the inevitable climax. Then, suddenly, without warning, the fox slammed forward pinning Naruto against the wall and delivering its killing blow. It sharp teeth ripping through the soft flesh of his neck.
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!" Naruto screamed sweat dripping from his body as he sat up. "What the?" He then added. Puzzled as he noticed the demon from moments ago was nowhere to be seen. Slowly and cautiously, he looked around the room. "Just a dream...." He finally muttered and began grudgingly dragging himself out of bed. "That's the last time I stay up late watching a horror movie marathon." He added, even though he knew one bad dream wasn't exactly going to change his late night TV viewing habits. He glanced quickly over at the alarm clock next to his bed to see what time it was and groaned loudly. "5 A.M" He hissed, as if the idea of being up so early was way more terrifying then the dream demon he had squared off against earlier. "I just went to bed 3 hours ago...." He added, already beginning to contemplate the idea of just crawling back into the warm protective sanctuary of his bed; however, after a few minutes, he decided he might as well just shower and get dressed.
He wandered slowly toward the bathroom dragging his feet every step of the way as if they both were nearly impossible to lift. He wasn't exactly a morning person, and not having had a shower or any caffeine, he wasn't his normal, hyperactive and energetic self. Even though it took much more time then it probably should of, he finally reached his bathroom. Stepping inside he paused to look at himself in the mirror. He grinned, before suddenly striking a pose. "How can Sakura resist this" He giggled finding himself to be quite attractive. Everything from his wild blonde hair and sky blue eyes down to the baggy white t-shirt and silk smiley face boxers seemed to look irresistible in his eyes. Hell, even the small whisker like scars on his face from the accident that claimed his parents life seemed to just add to his appeal. They gave his face more character. At least in Naruto's eyes anyways. Of course, in the past, he'd actually fantasized about himself. He giggled at the thought wishing he could somehow make copies of himself. "It wouldn't be gay." He added out loud as if in defense of his sexuality. "Having sex with myself would technically be masturbation." He smiled wider, taking one last longing glance at the mirror before finally taking of his shirt and boxers so he could shower. He almost wanted to turn around again to see his naked reflection, but decided against it. If he actually managed to make it to school on time today it would be the first time in nearly three weeks. Turning the knob for the hot water all the way up he opened the glass door and stepped in.
Once inside the shower, Naruto began singing as he scrubbed himself with the soap. " This is who I am and this is what I like. Until the day I die I promise I won't change. So you better give up. I don't wanna be told to grow up... and I don't wanna change I just wanna have fun... I don't wanna be told to grow up and I don't wanna change so you better give up. Cause I'm not gonna change I don't wanna grow up. I like to stay up late spend hours on the phone hanging out with all my friends and never being at home I'm impolite and I make fun of everyone. I'm immature but I will stay this way forever. Until the day I die I promise I won't change so you better give up I don't wanna be told to grow up and I don't wanna change. I just wanna have fun. I don't wanna be told to grow up and I don't wanna change so you better give up cause I'm not gonna change I don't wanna grow up. I don't wanna be told to grow up.... grow up... grow up. I don't wanna be told to grow up...grow up... grow up...." He was singing way off key, and extremely loud. So loud in fact, that he didn't hear his front door open, or the sound of the footsteps as several people entered his home.
Finishing his shower Naruto reached out grabbing his towel and wrapping it around his waist. He stepped out of the shower glancing at the mirror quickly and blushing at the sight of his naked chest. He had a sudden desire to do a quick strip tease, and probably would have started singing I'm too sexy for my towel if it weren't for the fact he heard voices in the other room. "I can't believe I left the door unlocked." He groaned in horror, just knowing the voices belonged to some would be thieves or murderers who were going to either kill, tickle, rob, rape, mutilate, kiss, shoot, molest, eat, torture or some strange combination of horrible things he couldn't even yet think of. He was so busy contemplating all the horrible things the intruders were going to do to him that he didn't see his English teacher Iruka Umuino peek his head into the bathroom.
"Naruto?"
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Don't tickle rape my marshmallows!!!!!!" Naruto screamed before throwing his towel at Iruka and kicking him as hard as he could in the groin. He was about to follow up his kick with another when he realized who it was he was attacking. "Mr. Umuino?" Naruto asked. "What are you doing here? The robbers are going to get you." Suddenly he paused thinking about what he just said. "Wait it was YOUR voice I heard?" Naruto asked suddenly realizing his mistake.
Iruka let out a high-pitched squeak and fell to his knees. "Oh... I'm sorry" Naruto said. "You scared me. Here let me help you up." Naruto bent down and helped Iruka back to his feet. "What are you doing here anyways?" Naruto paused waiting for an explanation; however none came. Iruka just stood there frozen in horror, his face growing redder and redder. "What?" Naruto asked looking around. "That squirrel isn't back is it? Oh no.... It can't have come back... I beat it... Eeeek it wants revenge!. Naruto grabbed his towel off the floor, jumped up on top of the toilet seat and was preparing to defend himself from any squirrel attacks when Naruto's principle Mr. Hokage-Sarutobi stuck his head through the door.
"Naruto, get down from the toilet, wrap the towel around your waist, go get dressed, then meet us in the kitchen. Mr. Umuino, stop staring at Naruto while he's naked, quit blushing, and come back into the kitchen."
"He he..." Naruto laughed putting his hand on his head and running it through his hair. "What are you guys doing here anyways? Cause if this is this about me painting on the statue of George Washington the other day, I heard they already managed to get most of the paint off his face..."
"Get dressed, and meet us in the kitchen, we'll talk then." Mr. Sarutobi responded shortly "Oh and Iruka, I thought I told you to stop staring at Naruto." Hearing this, Iruka finally snapped out of his daze and turned to the principle.
"Sorry Sir. I was just sort of shocked and I just froze... Uhmm, I'll go back to the kitchen now..." Iruka walked by Mr. Sarutobi who glared at him as he passed before muttering under his breathe.
"English teachers...."
Naruto, not wanting to piss of his principle anymore then he already seemed to be, quickly wrapped the towel around his waist finally realizing he'd been completely nude since he'd attacked Mr. Umuino. Then he ran into his bedroom to throw on some clothes. Once in his room, he went right to his dresser, and began rummaging through the top drawer for a pair of undies. He quickly pulled out a pair of heart-covered boxers to put on. Then, slowly lifting his legs and stepping into the underwear, before pulling the boxers slowly up the rest of the way. Taking his time to enjoy the feeling of the silk fabric rubbing against his legs. "I hate being a teenager" He muttered realizing just the sensation of underwear against his legs was making him horny. "Hormones suck!" He added, right before he went over and grabbed a t-shirt and jeans out of a near bye pile of clothes. He smelled them quickly to make sure they weren't too dirty. Then he put them on. The t-shirt was one of his faves; a simple black shirt with a cool red spiral on it. The pants he had chosen were just a normal pair of baggy blue jeans. The knees were pretty faded and the pants showed quite a bit of wear, but he didn't really care, as long as it fit, wasn't pink, and was at least half way comfortable, Naruto wouldn't fuss about wearing it. Finally, he glanced in the mirror, ruffled his hair with his hand; he would have combed it if he had the time, and he knew what he'd done with the comb. Then, he headed to the kitchen to find out exactly what was going on.
As he entered the kitchen Naruto knew at once, whatever was going to happen was very bad. Butterflies began swooping round in his stomach as he looked around. Not only were his English teacher Mr. Iruka Umuino, and his principle Mr. Hokage-Sarutobi here, also present in his small kitchen were the social service worker who'd helped him become emancipated and get his own house, His school guidance councilor Mr. Hayate, or as he liked to call him Mr. Cough'n and his P.E. teacher Mr. Kakashi. Letting out a gulp, Naruto sat down at the table across from Mr. Umuino, his Social service worker, and Mr. Hokage. Kakashi was standing in the corner looking at a book titled Winning is Paradise: A Winners Guide to Coaching Track and Field, and his councilor who had previously been nervously pacing the room sat down in the chair next to Naruto's.
"You're wondering why we are all here aren't you?" his principle started. "Well, Mr. Uzumaki, we are concerned about you. Your attendance at school is...."
"I was going to be on time today." Naruto interrupted. "I swear!"
"First off, it's Saturday, there is no school today. Second it's already two in the afternoon, the clock in your bedroom is a little bit off. Third, don't interrupt me Naruto. It's a tad bit rude." Naruto put his hand on his head ruffling through his hair, a nervous habit of his, and flashed his trademark "I'm sorry" grin. "Look Naruto." Hokage began again. "I know you haven't had an easy life with your parents dieing when you were so young. I know you spent most of you childhood in orphanages and foster homes. I was also very proud of you when you turned 16 and got the courts to emancipate you. I was even more impressed when you took the money your parents had left behind for you and used it to get this apartment." Naruto smiled enjoying the loving praise he was getting. "However, whatever incompetent judge thought you were responsible enough to take care of yourself should be shot. You are never on time to school. You have a long history of disciplinary infractions ranging from vandalism, to arson, you don't get very good grades, in fact, most of your teachers tell me you almost never do your homework at all, and to top it all off, you aren't taking very good care of yourself."
"What does that mean?" Naruto protested, and was about to argue with him, when Kakashi looked up from his book and replied to his question.
"I think he's referring to the time you drank the spoiled milk and spent the entire school day in the bathroom."
"Which is just one of many stupid things you've done to yourself" the principle added. " You aren't fit to live by yourself, but at the same time I don't think you would be comfortable going back into the foster care system yet again. So after talking to Mr. Yamaguchi your social services worker, I've come up with a compromise. Mr. Umuino, your English teacher has a guesthouse he was planning on renting out. I think if you were to move in there, with two responsible adults to keep you on the right track, you will be able to get back on the right track."
"Two responsible adults...." Naruto asked puzzled. "Is Mr. Umuino married?"
"No, he's not, he and Mr. Kakashi live together."
"Oh" Naruto said, still somewhat puzzled. "Well anyways, there is no way I'm moving in with two teachers, and you really can't make me. You're just my principle."
"You're right, I can't do much of anything."
"Cough" Mr. Cough'n spoke up. "You could however be found incapable of taking care of yourself and put back into a foster family. Cough. What he's offering is a compromise. You agree to his terms you maintain some if not all of the freedom you've enjoyed so much. Cough"
"Oh..." Naruto sighed in defeat. "What exactly are the terms of this compromise?" Naruto said turning back to the principle.
"I'm glad you asked. You will move into their guest house, you will attend school everyday and on time unless Kakashi or Iruka decide you have a good enough reason to be absent, you will maintain a C in every class, and you will join one sport or after school activity. If you don't like that, the choice is up to you."
"I guess that will work." Naruto said giggling sheepishly. "One question though.... "
"Yes?"
"When do I move in?"
