This is just a short little drabble so I can depress myself more about school. Obviously set at The Worst Couple time. Song: End Of The World (and who I was listening to) Skeeter Davis.
Why does the sun, go on shining? Why does the sea rush to shore? Don't they know, it's the end of the world? Cause you don't love me anymore.
Jade missed Beck so much - more, in fact, than she'd care to admit to anyone but him. The ache of missing him intensified with everything she did - if she sighed, it was almost physically painful. Crying stung her eyes and made her breathless, unable to think of anything but him, and then she'd end up in the emergency room from a bad panic attack that turned into a full-blown asthma attack. But she held her head up high, tears in her eyes that were misconstrued as a jaunty twinkle that she didn't seem to have anymore.
She doesn't understand why she bothers getting up in the morning just to cry some more. It wasn't some high school crush, it was real! It was real, and it hurt like hell, and it made her wanna hit the wall until blood trickled down her knuckles and wrists and believe me, she did, and it made her scream at him like she was a thing possessed..but he made her so happy. He could make her smile when no one else could, when she was at her darkest moment he could always bring her a little light, a little feather-like emotion weightlessness where she relaxed in his arms.
Why do the birds, go on singing? Why do the stars glow above? Don't they know, it's the end of the world? It ended when I lost your love.
Every morning since she could ever remember, the sound of birds tweeting outside her window woke her up, at 6:13 on the dot, every single morning. Jade used to think it was sweet, though she'd never tell anybody - but now? No, the little girl woke up to the sounds of the birds and thought they were mocking her.
Ha, we can sing our happy songs, but you can't! You're miserable and we're not. Ha ha ha.
Of course she knew she was just being bitter. Whether or not you were in it, or even participating, life goes on, with or without you. And that sucks, but it's the way it is.
So she gets up, bangs on the window to scare the little birds away, draws her curtains, and gets dressed. She angrily gets on with her life, as much as she wants to stay in bed. She will not let a boy ruin her future.
I wake up in the morning and I wonder, why everything's the same as it was. I can't understand, no I can't understand how life goes on the way it does.
Jade really doesn't understand how everything can go on as normal when her heart is breaking, when her eyes are filled with tears, when her sleep is interrupted with nightmares. How? How is that fair? No one seems to care what is happening in the world. Of course, it's only one person. But just think..how much can one person take? She's had more than her fair share of hardships and she's had enough! Damn it, she's had just about enough.
It was too hard to contemplate, so she downed a bottle of her Mom's vodka in one and passed out on the couch. When she woke, her headache was enough to distract her from the inflict of emotional pain.
That's how she liked it.
Why does my heart, go on beating? Why do these eyes of mine cry? Don't they know, it's the end of the world? It ended when you said goodbye.
Though she doesn't want to explicitly die, Jade has thought about the peacefulness of death, where no-one could disturb you from your endless slumber.
Specifically, when she thought about how they broke up. It was her fault. She was jealous, scared, insecure, manipulative, mean, rude, sarcastic, and he was the hottest boy in school.
"I'm gonna walk out that door and I'm gonna count to ten. If I get to ten, and you're not there, I'm going home. And we're over."
And then she said ten, and he went and lost it all. She couldn't go back now. There was no point, no spark, no love. That was that.
But of course, that wasn't true. She loved him so much, and he loved her.
And know they're both singing,
don't they know, it's the end of the world, cause you don't love me anymore?
