Let me start by saying that, like (I would assume) many of you, the ending of Allegiant just about killed me, and I plan to come up with a happier alternate ending. However, this is not it. This story is post-Allegiant with the original ending, but written with an "It's a Wonderful Life" type twist. It just seemed interesting to try, especially with the holidays right around the corner, and I hope you guys think so too. Anyways, this is all written from Tobias' POV, though my writing style is different from Veronica Roth's. And please review because I would love some thoughts on what people like, what to make better, etc.

Disclaimer: I do not own Allegiant or any of its characters. Nor do I own It's a Wonderful Life and its plotline.


Chapter 1: Questions and Wishes

Still I could picture the last time I saw her, small but strong, stronger than anyone else I knew or will know, as the golden atrium glow threw captivating shadows across her features. I still felt the warmth of the last kiss we shared when it seemed our future was assured, one free of war, of fighting, of death, where we could finally focus on each other and nothing more. Then came more memories, these now sharp and biting. When I had returned to the snow-laden compound, all seeming alright for once in my life, only to find that she had departed , gone off far beyond my reach, never to return and stranding me with the horror-filled nightmares to come and dreams of what might have been.

It was from another of these that I awoke, alone again in the dead of night, unable to fill the gaping void she had left in my life. They all said that time would do its part and heal, but I know now that they're all deceiving themselves; for me it has only made the pain worse, giving me the chance to wonder why I hadn't made a different choice, done something different that could have saved her. To wonder all over again if it was worth the pain any longer to remember what we had, knowing that I longed for an impossible future. Maybe it was better to simply forget it all, then, the good and the bad together. Or for none of it to have ever happened at all, in a world where I never met her, never fell in love with her, never stood helplessly as she sacrificed herself, never greedily wished that she was as selfish as she claimed so she could be here, alive and well. Maybe the Abnegation were right in that sense: my own want was causing this pain now, and if only I hadn't succumbed to selfishness, denying myself such pleasures as knowing her so intimately, perhaps this wouldn't be happening.

But, even so, that other part of me, the broken part of me, knew that, right now, that wasn't what I wanted. I dropped my face into my hands, wishing she were here at my side, still sharpening me, challenging me, making me whole once again in that way that only she could. The mere thought shot a stab of pain through me, no duller than in the time immediately following her death.

Suddenly, it brought the thought of the memory serum back to the front of my mind, making it seem almost a viable option, even though I had promised myself never to take it, never to consider it.

And that in turn, everything taken all together, left me with no more than scattered questions. What if I had abandoned Dauntless, become factionless, before I met her, before I let hope lift me so high that the inevitable fall would surely break me permanently? Would my life, could her life, had turned out better if we were not in the others'? Might still she be alive in such a world? Would that truly be for the best?

Closing my eyes to chase down the ever-elusive sleep, I found myself wishing that that had been the way things were instead, wishing I had left Dauntless, wishing I was never there and none of it had happened. But, at the same time, another desire arose, one I'd felt since learning for the first time what had happened at the Bureau. The hope for that one more kiss, one more word, one more glance, one more.