Vulcan is gone. Along with the majority of the Vulcans. And most likely him too. I jump slightly at the hand placed on my shoulder. Its grip is reassuring and I know who it belongs to before I turn to look him in the eye. Bones' gaze is sympathetic but stern and I almost curse at the words I know he is going to say.
"It's time to let go of the past Jim..." I don't answer and turn back to stare out the window that faces where Vulcan used to be. Bones takes my silence as refusal and pulls his hand away.
"you cant keep living in the past Jim! Not anymore! Not when you have all the lives on the godforsaken ship depending on you to be in this time! Your the captain of this ship, and after what you did to Spock to get that title, you sure as hell better act like it!" if it was anyone other than Bones talking to me, I probably would have pouched him right about now. But it was bones talking to me. And he was right.
I don't like Spock. To tell the truth, i'm pretty sure I hate the guy. But I accused him of never loving his mother. The mother he had just watched die. Just to prove he was emotionally compromised. Just to get control of the Enterprise. No one deserves that, especially when i'm no more emotionally sound then he.
Bones turns and angrily walks back to sickbay, leaving me alone to dwell in my thoughts again. And though I had been seeking solitude not moments before, I find myself longing for company. I reluctantly tare my gaze away from the window and make my way back to the bridge, only to find myself at the cafeteria instead. I glance around confused. I know this ship. If I was heading to the bridge I should be at the bridge. Why am I here?
My thoughts are interrupted by voices in the cafeteria. Most of them are blended together and are indistinguishable from each other, but I can clearly make out a conversation between Spock and his father. They are talking in the most secluded part of the cafeteria on the other side of the room. I shouldn't be able to hear them from here. Not through the rest of the people in the room. But I can. It was almost like they were talking in my head.
This isn't the first time something like this has happened. It's happen a few times actually...but only when Spock is in the conversation. I don't think on it long in favor of listening to the conversation.
"She didn't deserve that." Spock's face shows no emotion but I can spot the tiniest hint of pain in his voice. His father responds just as emotionless.
"Nor did the others deserve what became of them. The ones that make it out just as much so as the ones that didn't. But we must not dwell on the past. What is done is done we must focus on rebuilding. Saving what is left. It is the logical decision. It is the Vulcan way." I see Spock flinch at his fathers words and anger flash on his face. The emotion is gone from his face as quickly as it had come and the only thing the shows that it was there at all is Spock's now clenched fists. Spocks father must have noticed what I did because he closes his eyes. When he opens them again I see the closest thing to saddens a Vulcan can muster.
"I do not wish for you to forget them, Spock. They will live on in the culture we must rebuild. But it must be rebuilt first. Do not dewll on the past, for they're sake," he makes a small gesture toward the other Vulcans in the room before continuing. "But for your mother's sake..."
"Vokau."
I'm not sure if the conversation ended there or is I just stopped listening. I'm more interesting in the Vulcan work Spock had just spoken. It brought back some memories. The Vulcan boy from my childhood. It was the last thing he said to me. Vokau.
It means remember.
