I'm A Man!
July 10th 2013
by Elise the Writing Desk, Wonderful Wonder World by QuinRose
One sunny, hot day in the Clock Tower, there was a curly-haired girl who was knocking on Alice's door.
"Yes, who is it?" Alice Liddell opened her door.
"Hey, Alice. I'm the Author." The curly girl said with bored face. She then took out a PSP console. "Do you recognize this device?"
"Um...no?" Alice blinked at PSP in confuse.
"This is what I use to control your daily work, your choices, and your life." Author said, and then took out a leash. "But for today, I have 'un-officially' asked your real Author; QuinRose, to alter the game."
Alice held her head with her hands. "What...? I don't get all of this."
"I know, that's why I will take you away."
"W-With a leash!? Where?"
"To meet my friend, Elise, AKA my brain."
"Aaargh, what is going on!?"
~.X.~
Elise turned out, was a talking writing desk (No, really, it's my brain, but I picture it as a desk). The Author then forced Alice to sit down in front of the desk and dropped the PSP in front of the teen.
"Wh-What do you want me to do?"
"Author, is it time to start?"
"The desk speaks!?"
"Yes." The Author held Alice's shoulders to keep her on her seat. "Listen to me. Right now, I want you to play a game; I want you to become a man."
Alice was gaping, as her brain was probably heating.
"Elise, let her write on you, like always." Author nodded.
"Okie-dokie!" the desk then hand-cuffed Alice's wrists. "Are you ready for a random madness?"
"N-No—"
"Here we go~!"
"NOO!"
~.X.~
Argh, what the heck did that Author girl just do to me!?
Opening my eyes, I found myself lying on the ground. The familiar grassy ground. I sat up and looked around, and my heart skipped a beat; my house was in sight.
Why would my house be here in Wonderland—wait a second...
Why did this feel like a de javu? I remembered this...this was...
Hm...if I wasn't mistaken, someone would come in...
Three...
Two...
One—
"Hello, Malice~!" I twitched, that wasn't the voice I was expecting. Turning my head, I saw someone I wasn't expecting. (She didn't hear correctly)
Okay, albino hair, red eyes...
But that's not Peter White!
She wore glasses with wolf-cut white hair and the same white rabbit ears on top of her head. Suddenly, she took my wrist and giggled, blushing.
"Let's go!"
"G-Go where?" I twitched as I noticed that something was wrong with my voice.
"Oh, hush! We're going!" she said and dragged me.
I was expecting for a bridal-style carry, but then again...
"No! Where are you taking me!?"
"To a great place!"
"I-Is this a kidnap?"
"I'm a girl, why would I kidnap you, my love~?"
I narrowed my eyes, unconsciously kept following her lead. 'My love'...? That sounded awfully familiar, somehow...
Hmm...
When I was busy thinking, the girl hugged me and dragged me to a hole.
"Wait—I knew what is this—Nooo!" I screamed, but it was too late, as I found myself falling down in this girl's embrace.
"Here we go, my love~!" she cooed as she hugged me tighter.
"I'm straaaiiight!"
~.X.~
I twitched and felt my everything was pained. Fortress of Doors...damn. I could've gone home if I realized—then again, I decided not to go home. But what the heck is—what is happening!?
This place was just Wonderland!
I looked around and noticed the Heart Palace, the Clock Tower, the Amusement Park, the Mansion...
What's the point of all this? Is this a paradox!?
"So what's the differ—"
"My love! Do you love it?" that albino girl glomped at me.
"Aargh! I told you, I'm straight!" I tried to push her away. She really reminded me of Peter. "Who are you!?"
Her rabbit ears hung down sadly as she frowned at me. "Malice doesn't recognize me! Maria is sad...!" she sulked.
I picked my ear before asking; "What did you just call me?"
"Malice, my lovely prince~!"
"My name is Alice!"
Suddenly this girl had a very dark, murderous look on her face, and I just noticed that she had a gun with her.
Where did that gun came out from anyway?
"Who's this Alice, my love!? Why are you saying other girl's name!? You're mine!"
Argh, that's it. I think I smelt my brain's burning.
"What's your name again?" I asked, though my brain was really burning.
"I'm Maria Blanc, my lovely prince~!" Maria glomped at me again, her rabbit ears tickling my face.
I just realized something...Since when I grew this tall?
...Wait, what did she said...!?
"Did you just call me a prince!?" I gasped.
"Yes, of course~! Malice is my handsome prince~!" Maria nodded, her rabbit ears swinging along.
I twitched. "B-But I'm...I'm not a boy! I'm—aargh! Where am I? What's going on? What happens!?"
Maria giggled, and took out a blue veil from her red coat pocket. "You're in the Country of Hearts, my love~!"
"I know." I deadpanned.
"As a man." A voice said behind me.
Maria quickly glomped at me again and as I turned, I saw the Author was sitting in a sofa.
I gaped. "Wh-What do you mean!?"
"Yeah, I changed you into a man, as simple as that~!" the Author yawned and fell back to her sofa.
"Why!?"
"Because I'm bored." She yawned again, and then cracked her back. "Now, Alice...or right now, Malice...you're in my game. In this game, everyone's the opposite gender from the original game."
I gaped, and instinctively, grabbed my chests.
...THEY'RE GONE!?
"Aaaargh! No way! That means...!?" I gaped and touched the 'thing' between my legs.
...No way. Nooo waaay...
I have new dick!? (*cough* PewDiePie *cough* Happy *cough* Wheels *cough*)
"Gyaaaaah! Turn me back!" I screeched, pulling my...short hair.
Damn. I'm not a girl anymore!?
"My love, why are you acting a bit gay~?" Maria asked me, still hugging me around my waist. "But no matter, I still love you, my prince~!"
I twitched, and sharply turned at the Author.
"TURN. ME. BACK."
"Sure, but..." she yawned, "You know the drill." That curly monster nodded to Maria. "Ask her how."
I inwardly groaned. "Maria—"
"Kyaa~ You said my name~!" Maria squealed and was practically breaking my back.
"...Whatever. How do I go home?"
Maria pouted sadly, and I felt a bit guilty. She waved the blue veil in her hand. And handed it to me.
"Argh, I get it." I rolled my eyes and snatched the veil. "Drink this, start the game, get to know everyone, go back to a girl."
Author clapped her hand. "Now that you're a man, isn't it better to say that 'you'll hook up' with everyone rather than 'get to know' them?"
I grimaced. "B-But I only have to get to know them, like back in the game! I didn't hook up with everyone!"
Author clicked her tongue, shaking her head. "No, in my game, you should at least kiss everyone once without getting killed to fill that veil completely."
I facepalmed. "I want the original Author back."
"But you have to do it right, Malice!" the Author yelled at me, hands on her hips. "Stop acting girly! That pisses me off! Right now, you're a man! Now say it!"
"I...I'm a man..." I stuttered out with my new voice.
"My prince is my man~!" Maria nodded.
"Louder! Manlier!" Author demanded.
"I'm a man..." I noticed that I hated it that my manly voice was speaking soft. "If I'm a girl, I will be a girl...if I'm a man...I don't want to be gay...I'm a man..."
"Louder!"
"I'm a man!" I said louder, hands on hips.
"Manlier! Find a different pose! Hands on hips is gay!"
I crossed my arms.
"I'M A MAN!"
Author nodded. "Off you go~!" she flicked her fingers and was gone in a blink.
I glared at the blue veil, opened it and drank the potion. Gulping the liquid through my throat I pocketed the veil into my...
...She changed my dress into a manlier clothes. That perverted curly head...
"Okay, this is it, huh? What is it, Maria?"
Maria was pouting deeply. "You're supposed to refuse drinking that potion! Then I'll drink it and forced you to drink it through my mouth! Then we'd be practically kissing!" she whined.
I twitched, remember that it happened with the real Peter.
"Whatever! I'm gonna go and hook up with all girls! I'm a man!" I walked through the door and Maria screeched.
"Nooo~! My love~! You should only hook up with me~!"
I'm fucked up. I know. Any request or suggestions on who should Alice—cough—I mean, Malice meets first? Of course, the characters will be OC, but completely just the gender-bent version of everyone. Maria Blanc is just the opposite gender-version of Peter White. Her personality is the same of Peter. It's just that, she's a girl.
So inside, Malice is still Alice, but she'll starting to learn how to be a guy.
