Frodo's frustration.

T: Yes I am staying. Waits a moment for cheers. When are none are forth coming pretends she wasn't waiting. This was going to be a drabble to ease my mind but it's progressed into a mini series. LOTR is not mine, if it were then…then…bah it's no good I really cannot get my brain clicked in. Random pre quest pointlessness. Book cannon. Spur of the moment story without any drafting so it may be a little basic in places and slashy, very, VERY, slashy! Oh and angsty.

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Frodo Baggins had officially had enough. It had been a good ten years since Bilbo had left the Shire and at least four more since Sam had become…well…hot!

He'd tried to ignore the change. Tried to pretend that the hard labour the lad did each day in the garden had not firmed his body into rock solid definition, with of course a little bit of padding here and there because of the shear amount of food all Hobbits consumed.

But, rather unfortunately, the weather and fate seemed to be against him.

For each summer after the transmogrification had become progressively hotter and seen Sam in steadily decreasing amounts of clothing, thus exposing more tantalising inches of that tanned, toned and shiny body. Each winter ment days, sometimes weeks with Sam camped out in Bag End with both Bilbo and himself because the snow had kept them in and thus had ment the torture of that physical perfection but inches from himself. And within the intermittent seasons it seemed to rain at the precise moment he was stepping out or into Bag End, thus allowing Frodo the sight of a very wet Sam and his very clingy clothing.

Yet he still had the control necessary to…deal…with his desire, if only because Bilbo had been there constantly watching. Indeed Frodo could remember all to clearly the number of times Bilbo had given The Speech before he had vanished into thin air. The Speech had progressed over time of course, beginning with the simple Just a crush and developing into the Your too close and each time Frodo had heard it he'd felt ashamed and then all the more attracted to Sam. For danger is one of nature's greatest aphrodisiacs.

Yet turned on or no Frodo could do nothing with Bilbo just two doors down from the bedroom and so he'd had to make do with being painfully aroused almost twenty four seven.

And then Bilbo had left and with him so had all traces of the Samwise Gamgee Frodo had believed he knew. For suddenly each time he talked to his friend, Sam's end of the conversation seemed to be loaded with innuendo. It never really mattered if all they were discussing was the simplicity of planting the borders in time for spring or of whom they might like to steal a kiss from when the May Day dance came about. Of course the latter was a harder conversation to be nonchalant about, especially with Sam just inches from him, those beautiful lips shaping into words of passion.

Sam had become blunter as well, the shy retracted nature that seemed to have defined the younger Gamgee while Bilbo had been the Master, fading into something bordering on recklessness now that Frodo had taken up the mantle. Oh it had started subtly enough, with the occasional request to stay at Bag End to ensure Frodo would get to bed at a sensible hour, or perhaps the subtle hint that Sam felt his Master did not eat anywhere near what he should. Then slowly the Sir or Master had faded from the requests and the subtly had vanished entirely from the hints and indeed Sam often used words like handsome or fair when describing how Frodo would look if only he ate a little more.

Thus with weather, lack of parental guidance and an increasingly flirtatious object of desire pilling against him Frodo had decided to cave into the inevitable and seduce Sam. And of course with that momentous decision made one thing occurred to ensure that, for the time being at least, any plans for seduction could not go forth.

That one thing was the closing approach of May Day and the encroachment of one Meriadoc Brandybuck and one Peregrin Took upon Bag End. It must be made clear that on any other May Day Frodo would have been delighted to see his two Cousins. One because having Merry so far away ment a small hole in his heart, for the time spent with the thoughtful Brandybuck in his childhood had made him as a brother to him. Two because it was always nice to have Pip about, the Took having both an insatiable energy to him and a childlike perspective on the world that always brought a smile to Frodo's face. And three, May Day with the pair was always…interesting…for either they would create some stunt that would be talked of for weeks to come, or they would appear at the dance in the most outrageous of outfits and flirt with the most high ranking ladies present.

Yet neither thought of prank nor outlandish behaviour helped console Frodo to the loss of seduction time and thus he greeted his guests with his normal charm severely lacking. Yet Pippin would not be Pippin if a rude good morning could in anyway shape or form could affect his cheery good nature. Instead he turned a little towards Merry and said,

"I rather think Cousin Frodo would be happier if we were not here, Merry." Pippin said, his Tuckborough brogue twisting the nickname just slightly.

"I think you are right, Pip, indeed I believe we may have interrupted something rather important for the look on his face." Merry replied, grey eyes sparking with the faintest hint of mischief. Frodo rolled his eyes and the faintest hint of a smile crept onto his face.

"You will have to forgive me, Masters Meriadoc, Peregrin, but this old Hobbit is rather snarled in his own cares at the moment."

"Oh yes? And would these cares circle around a certain buff gardener that said old Hobbit employs?" Merry enquired. Frodo coloured despite his best effort not to and both Brandybuck and Took broke into laughter.

The May Day dance had just wound down and Frodo was more than a little drunk. It had began innocently enough with a little sip of the ale to calm both his desire and his worry that Sam might at some point in the night take up a young lass to dance with and to kiss should she wish it. Then Merry and Pippin had appeared in their best and Frodo had known almost instantly that this was going to be a year for a prank of some sort. It had become painfully evident what that prank was to be when first the Took and then the Brandybuck had appeared to give him a drink. Not a simple ale or even a glass of Winyards but some of Saradoc Brandybuck's famed strawberry wine. Of course that had ment that after the first two drinks he was drunk enough to accept more when the two re-appeared much later.

A little after that the dancing and the frivolity had stopped suddenly as the two conspirators had broken into a fight. Frodo had been drunk enough by that time to be almost entirely unable to comprehend what was being said, even though both Took and Brandybuck had rather raised their voices by that point. Yet he had been able to understand both Merry's cry of,

"WHAT CHOICE DO I HAVE LEFT?" and Pippin's reply of,

"NONE, AND NEITHER DO I!" To the Brandybuck's retreating form. Of course he had tried to make his way through to Pippin, but what with being at that time almost entirely unable to walk in a straight line and Paladin having already gotten close enough to Pip to push away unwanted attention, he made it only to the edge of the scrum before Sam had caught him into his arms and dragged him over to the side of the dance floor.

"You're drunk." He said as he sat Frodo down onto one of the benches that surrounded the edge of the dance floor.

"'m not drunk, jusht very tishpy." Frodo remarked once he had recalled how to form vaguely comprehensible words.

"Aye well however tipsy you are, Frodo, I defiantly think it is time to get you home." And though his mind was not really working all that well anymore he caught the vague heat in Sam's voice and all his inhibitions lost in a strawberry haze he smirked and planting a sloppy kiss on Sam's forehead said,

"Then take me home," And the Gamgee could not help smiling at that as well, though he still seemed unsure if Frodo was actually still in his right mind.

He took Frodo's wrist gently and pulling his friend to his feet he began to guide him in the general direction of Bag End. Of course the journey was not all together an easy one, what with Frodo being more than a little forward and Sam attempting to keep his own desires routed in the need to have Frodo safe rather than just the desire to have Frodo.

He had always known that his Master was attractive. You would have to be blind not to. Yet he had not really began to think of Frodo as specifically attractive in that kind if a way until Bilbo had disappeared and Frodo had turned to him for support and strength. Perhaps there was something odd in that, but Frodo in need was so very alluring that the Gamgee had been hooked almost instantly and ever since he had dedicated his heart and soul into ensuring that he protected his fragile treasure. And of course that had led him here to this situation, with Frodo's hands roaming in places that elicited less than protective thoughts and Bag End still far far away.

"Can you stop that please?" He enquired and Frodo paused mid grope and managed to look both terribly offended and terribly alluring all with one small pout.

"What's wrong Sam? Don't you like me?" He asked, his words a little more sober than they had been before.

"No, no that's not it, me dear." Sam replied, the endearment slipping out almost unnoticed, "It is just that you are drunk and most likely very unaware of what you are doing."

"I know precisely what I am doing. I care for you a great deal, Samwise Gamgee and all your antics over the past months have driven me almost entirely to distraction." And Frodo moved forwards then, aiming for Sam's lips, but though he was sobering quickly he was still drunk enough to catch the side of the Gamgee's neck instead. Though he was disappointed about missing the opportunity to taste those lips, he was more than repaid by the small noise Sam made at the contact.

"Fool Baggins." Sam managed before he pulled his companion into a very deep and very passionate kiss.

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T: I did warn you didn't I? This is as close to an R rated fic. as I will ever get, though my mind could quite easily go further should I wish. Yes I have a filthy mind. Anyway keep an eye out for the next part Paladin proves a point. Which will explain the argument and may even patch them up if it feels right

RR.