I Know What the Flower Waits For
Disclaimer: I do not claim credit for Naruto or any of the characters that appear therein.
Ino never really got it. I was never in love with Sasuke. I said I loved Sasuke only after Ino said it. If she were a little more perceptive, she might have picked up on that. She needs to work on that. Otherwise she'll never make a truly excellent Kunoichi. And I want her to become a truly excellent Kunoichi. I want us both to become excellent Kunoichi. Together. But I guess that's not possible now. I wanted us to be on the same team. In fact, what I really wanted was for her, me, and Sasuke to all be on the same team. Because that would have given me time, time for Ino to realize Sasuke doesn't want to be had and isn't worth having. And we would have outshone Sasuke, because Sasuke never would have achieved that epiphany that he needs teamwork to succeed. Because the only one Sasuke ever respected was Naruto. If he would have been in a team with anyone else, it wouldn't have worked.
I'm cunning like that. It's not really something I get to make much use of with Sasuke and Naruto on my team. We never seem to get in situations where I can put it to good use. I blame them for attracting tough guy opponents who only ever want to take the direct approach. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's my fault for not being able to fit my talents into situations like that. Maybe one day when I'm as experienced as Kakashi-sensei, I'll be able to do it. I kind of sense that he sees the most potential in me, for all he acts like he ignores me and favors Naruto and Sasuke. But as for now, I'm stuck being useless. Again. I thought being Shinobi meant turning your mind into a weapon, using stealth and manipulation to trick your opponent into destroying himself. All Kunoichi are taught that from the time we're little kids. So why is it that when we finally get out on the field we find that all the subterfuge that's been drilled into our heads from day one is totally useless?
I wonder if Ino has come up against this same problem. From what I've seen of her, Shikamaru, and Choji, I doubt it. They get along so well, they're all basically on an even footing as far as power is concerned, and most importantly, Shikamaru and Choji respect Ino. They also have a sensei who spends an equal amount of time on training for each of them. Contrast that with my relationship with Naruto, Sasuke, and Kakashi-sensei. I can count on my fingers the amount of times I've actually proved indispensable to them on a mission, and I've lost count of the times I've been dead weight, or worse got myself in a jam and had to be rescued. It drives me crazy. And you can forget about improvement, at least at the rate Naruto and Sasuke do it. No one is ever around to train me. As I've said before, Kakashi-sensei tends to favor them when it comes to training and as a result I get left by myself a lot with no real idea of what I should be doing.
If you compare me to Naruto and Sasuke at face value, I have absolutely no talent at all. But if you examine the situation from another angle, maybe I have too much talent. I didn't come onto the scene with my abilities molded to a certain median, like Sasuke's Sharingan or Naruto's Transformation and Summoning Jutsu, so I had no single area of expertise to focus on. I have the potential to do anything, and thus, for a time anyway, I can do nothing. I'm waiting for that moment when I'll find what Naruto and Sasuke already have, when I'll find that situation where I'm at my strongest, where I outshine them both. There are times when I can't stand another second of waiting for that day to come. But I guess it's not my place to choose that time. I only want to know one thing, though: why was it that Sasuke and Naruto found it so quickly, while it feels like I'll be waiting forever?
If I were on a team with Ino, I know I would have found it by now. We fit together well, she and I. Ino has the power and the confidence, I have the intellect and the perception. I don't mind being outshone by Ino, most of the time. Because I know that the truth is we're dead even. Because I know it's just on the surface. But I hate it when I get outshone by Naruto and Sasuke. Because they make me doubt. They make me feel like if I just quit being a Shinobi tomorrow that it would barely affect their performance at all. And that makes me wonder why I should bother at all.
I felt better than I have for a long time during the Chunin Exam. I pretty much saved Sasuke and Naruto's life, even though I had to get help from Lee at one point. But I didn't mind that. Somehow with Lee it felt different than when I've been saved by Naruto and Sasuke. Lee respected me, even when I was practically powerless. He never treated me as some add on that might as well not be there at all, like Sasuke and Naruto do, even if they themselves aren't truly aware of it. It really is unfair that Lee will never be a Shinobi now. No, it's not just unfair. It's criminal. Lee deserved to be a Shinobi. He never overestimated himself and never underestimated his opponent. What he had was true talent. And now he can never use it. So I've sworn I will do it for him. I have to become a Shinobi of the highest order, to prove him right. We both started out with limited abilities. I think that's what attracted him to me. So, I'll prove that Lee's Nindo, his ninja way, is the right one. And I look forward to the day he congratulates me for the great success I've had, and I can tell him he was one of the things that kept me going.
Even you helped us, Ino, and that made me happy. By rights you could have just left Lee and I to get picked off by those Sound Ninja, but you didn't. You stood by me and saved my life, which proves our connection is still strong. The shining moment of the Chunin Exam, though, was when I finally got to face off against you, Ino. I wonder if you felt the same elation that I did. When the fight started, it seemed to the spectators that we were both hesitating. But they were wrong, it was only you who hesitated, and I hesitated because you hesitated. Because I didn't want to fight if you weren't going to give it your all. No way did I want you to back away out of pity or some misconception that it would be cruel to take me on at full power. What little ego I have gets kicked around a lot, but I still have my pride. And I want you to be proud of me, too, Ino. I want you to be proud of us. I was glad that our battle ended the way I had hoped it would. The rift that formed between us when we were assigned to separate ninja teams has been mended and I can only pray it stays that way. Hell, if you think about it, you, me, Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Choji are practically a single team now. Just look at what we went through when the Village Hidden in the Sand attacked the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Things are looking up, even if I haven't really found my place in the world of Shinobi yet and I sometimes worry I never will. I still have a long road ahead of me, that's for sure (in fact, that's an understatement).
But I still hold out hope. I have to. As long as you stay a Shinobi, I'll stay a Shinobi too, Ino. No, wait. That's not true. Even if you quit someday, I'll keep going, because I know you'd quit for any other reason than that you really wanted to. I know you'd want to keep going, even if something happened that forced you to stop. And I know that if I kept going, you'd be happy and your heart would be with me. Because no matter where I go, I want you to be there too, even if we're not actually together. And some day, when we both reach the highest rank a Shinobi can, we'll be able to truly shine. Together.
