Hey guys thanks for reading. I didn't want to make it too long so I'm gonna break this into two chapters. This is the first chapter. Please comment and tell me what you think (like, dislike) but remember, there is a difference between constructive criticism and just being a mean so think before you type. Enjoy :)
I had just gotten off of the phone with Cinna when the doorbell rang. I jump in surprise. The concept of a doorbell is still fairly new to me, we didn't have one at our house in the Seam. There are a lot of new things I'm still getting used to. Not only becoming familiar with the up to date technology of this new house in Victor's Village, but dealing with the PTSD thanks to the Games. I trot downstairs and slowly approach the door. I don't like answering the door and not knowing who's on the other side. Usually my mother or Prim would answer it, but they're out running errands in town. I know already that it isn't Haymitch because he usually barges right in, and Gale knocks.
Fear from the back of my mind begins to creep forward; is it someone sent by President Snow to finally punish me for my attempted at double suicide? I mentally prepare myself for all sorts of terror I could be unleashing as I turn the handle...just to find it's Peeta. I sigh in relief and put my guard down as much as I can, though being visited by him is just as shocking. We haven't talked in months. It isn't that I have been avoiding him, but I knew from the conversation as we rolled into 12 on the way back from the arena, that he was upset. He hasn't come around and I have given him space. I decided sooner rather than later that it's probably a good thing we have kept our distance because it has given us both a chance to try to return to normalcy.
"Hi Peeta." I say. Then with a moment of silence and being stared at, I add, "Please, come in."
Still saying nothing he raises his foot over the threshold. I wonder how he is doing with his new leg, though it can't be very new now.
"Thank you." He says as I close the door behind him. I walk over to the kitchen and pour him some coffee. Does he even like coffee?
"So, how have you been?" I ask handing it to him. I hope saying that doesn't come across as forced as it sounded. I do want to know. Though I didn't know I've missed his company until now.
He takes a sip and grins. "Well, things have been quiet for me." He laughs slightly at his remark, but there is no humor in it. He is living in a mansion all by himself with no family, while I have my mother and Prim. I feel awful that I never once thought to invite him over. "How about you?"
"The same. Quiet, uninteresting." I wasn't lying. Besides an occasional phone call with Cinna or hunting with Gale life was uneventful since the Games. Besides the nightmares. " Listen Peeta, I'm sorry that I haven't thought to invite you over sooner, I just-"
"Don't worry about it . I understand, I put you in an unfair position by taking advantage of what you did to keep us alive. You needed your space."
I look deeply into his eyes and see the honesty in them. A lump lodges in my throat. He is blaming this on himself. I know in my heart that all of it is my fault and that he is the one who had every right to be upset. I led him on and then broke his heart. But, I decided long ago that falling in love would make me vulnerable. Something I can't afford to be. Peeta is an amazing guy, and I realize that I don't deserve him anyways, not with how I've treated him.
Seeing I I have no comment, that serious look leaves his face and he continues, "It's ironic you mentioned the words "inviting over" because that's exactly why I came over here. The Victory Tour isn't that far away and I don't think reconnecting before it would be a bad idea, so I wanted to start by inviting you over for dinner tonight. If that's okay?"
A surprisingly genuine smile forms on my face "Yes of course that's okay. What time?"
He beams at my approval. Then he squints and looks up as he thinks, "Uh, everything should be done by 5:00. Is that a good time?"
I laugh softly, "Yes Peeta that's a good time. You don't have to keep asking me questions to seek my approval you know. I'm not that hard to please." He blushes slightly at my comment and begins to apologize but I wave it away, "I'll just tell my mom and Prim and I'll be over at 5."
"Okay, great. Well I better get cooking if it's gonna be done by 5. See you later Katniss." He smiles so big, with lights in his eyes. He hands me the half empty coffee cup and starts to head for the door.
I quickly place the cup down on the side table and grab his hand. He whips around with a confused look on his face, and I pull him into a hug. He squeezes me tighter and I close my eyes. We stay pressed against each other for a long time. In that moment I come to terms with how much I have missed his presence and his closeness. "I've miss you, you know. I think about you everyday." Peeta whispers in my ear. I allow him this comment. It's not his fault I'm too afraid to love anyone.
I don't really know what else to say back besides "I know. I'm sorry." Before releasing him. He grins once more, this time more of a sad grin, as he walks to the door, opens it, and closes it behind him.
As I stand in a suddenly chilly, empty room, staring at the door, I realize for the first time in months that those strange tingly feelings I felt in the cave with him have returned.
