Death
I wondered what'll be like to die
to take your last breath
would it be a painful gasp
or a relived sigh?
What would it take for my heart to stop
for my lips to turn blue
for me to go limp
and my eyes all black and hollow
for my thoughts to finally stop racing
would my family care?
Would they cry and act like they had no part
my mother to cry and blame it on my father ?
Even though she was the one who left bruises on my body?
Or my father to blame my mother ?
Even though he was the one who insulted me everyday?
Dyke ,stupid,bitch,selfish, and the worst imma disown you?
Would my brother wonder if it was his fault for always picking on me and calling me ugly
would my sister wonder if it would be her fault for telling me to kill myself when shes angry
I wonder what my friends would do?
Would my school announce they lost a student?
Would people who bullied me feel bad
would my exes who left me crying , care?
I think if I died tonight , the night before my birthday
if I didnt leave a note
I would leave them wondering
I would leave them in pain and empty
like they did me
they'd wonder
who's fault was it?
They'd be surprise of the scars all over my thighs and wrists
me being underweight
would they find my fanfiction and be surpised of all my thoughts
and what happened
the things I never said
how when I was younger my moms friends daughter touched me
how I thought it was a game
I didnt know
how im falling apart ..
