The Twins Prank Zeus
School: Hogwarts
Year: 5
Theme: Zeus
Prompts: Fred and George Weasley (main), Nysa, the Valley of the Nymphs (setting), Achilles' Heel
WC: 2680 (Before A/N)
Spec A/N: Zeus is a moody, angry god protective of his "property".
As you read this the POV will change from outsider (3rd Person) to the twins POV.
Fred
George
Questions and comments from Harry and Ginny
Harry and Ginny followed the twins into an old abandoned classroom on the far north side of the castle. They had been walking the corridors for close to thirty minutes before they finally entered the room. It was dark, dank, and covered in a thick layer of dust and grime. To Harry, it looked a lot like Grimmauld Place. There was only one spot on the floor that was somewhat clean. The floor around an old pedestal that was covered in Ancient Runes was devoid of any of the dust from the rest of the room. Ginny gave Harry a quizzical look as she looked at the pedestal, but Harry could only shrug.
Fred used his wand to clean two chairs, while George cleaned two others. Fred offered the chairs to Harry and Ginny. The four of them sat down facing each other. For good measure, Harry put security and silencing charms on the door and locked it. The twins raised an eyebrow at that.
"So, what can we do…" George started.
"For Hogwarts premier couple?" grinned Fred.
"Can it, you two," Ginny warned. "This is serious and important."
"We wanted to ask you something," Harry started.
"Ask away, our dear silent partner," stated Fred. Ginny gave Harry a questioning look. Harry sighed. "Oops, was that a secret?"
"Not really," frowned Harry. "But I don't want it general knowledge, either." Harry turned to Ginny. "I gave them the money from the Tournament for their joke shop." Ginny nodded with an impishly smug smile Harry was not sure he liked.
"But if it's too secret, we may not answer," George said, drawing attention back to the twins.
"Have you two ever found a Portkey, here in the castle, that took you to somewhere…
unexpected?" asked Harry.
Fred and George looked at each other. It was a serious look, not their usual carefree, playful look. The longer it took them to respond the more worried Harry became. Ginny gripped his hand nervously. She knew if the twins were taking this long to answer, it was never a good sign.
"Let us tell you a little story," began Fred. "It's something we haven't told anyone else."
"It all started, right here, in this very classroom," continued George.
Flashback (Fred and George's POV)
We were exploring the castle one day in our fifth year. Since we had nothing better to do, and no pranks planned. And since we had given you the Map by then, we wanted to make sure we knew our way around still.
It was one of those rare Saturdays that we didn't have homework to do or a Hogsmeade visit to go on. We wandered up this way since we only came here once before.
That time the door was locked and we didn't want to chance setting off any alarms. That first time was all the way back in our first year and hadn't learned how to find out and disarm the alarms yet.
But that's another story or two. We scanned the door for alarms, unlocked it, and came in here. It was a little less dusty than but still filthy. We saw that pedestal over there, and thought, why not check it out?
We looked all around it, checked out all the runes on it, but couldn't read them. We thought about getting Lee, who took Ancient Runes to have a look or even Hermione, but never did.
"Why not?" asked Harry confused.
We'll get there. Don't get your knickers,
Or our sister's, in a twist!
"Two words," frowned Ginny. "Bat Bogey!"
Now, now, easy does it.
We were only having a laugh.
Well, the reason we never told anyone or had the runes looked at, is quite simple really.
When we got the brilliant idea to touch the pedestal, we got yanked out of Hogwarts to another place altogether.
"Where did you end up?" Harry asked, curiously.
Nysa, the Valley of the Nymphs.
"You're having us on," Ginny frowned. "Come on, Harry, they…" She fell silent as George pull something out of his robes.
This is a piece of one of their togas. For once, we're not joking around about anything. That pedestal over there is a Portkey to Greece.
"Tell us more," implored Harry, gently pulling a shocked looking Ginny back into her seat.
The Valley is covered in the greenest grass and trees you ever did see. Several different Magical Creatures call it home. But that's a bit later. What we saw first was more…eye-catching.
We looked around and saw these gorgeous women just laying around in only these thin togas. Just basking in the sun…
Beautiful women of every hair color, height, smiling sweetly…
"Focus, boys!" Ginny frowned, rolling her eyes.
Oh, right! Sorry. The women turned out to be Nymphs. Grass Nymphs, Tree Nymphs, Water Nymphs, you name it, they were there. Turns out, that pedestal was given to Godric Gryffindor by Zeus as a way to thank him for his services in helping free a bunch of Wood Nymphs back just after the Founders opened the school.
Again, another story. But we were there all of five minutes when a bolt of lightning struck the ground between us and the Nymphs. When the dust and smoke cleared there was a guy standing there. A very large guy.
Long sandy brown hair and beard. Muscles to make any guy envious and every woman drool over.
"Don't tell me it was Zeus," frowned Harry. "He was just a myth!"
I wish he was! Georgie and I saw him, face to face.
Up close and personal!
And he was right hacked off we were there! But that's nothing new for him. He's always had anger issues worse than Ron. He asked us what we were going there and what we intended on doing to his Nymphs.
We told him about the pedestal. That made him laugh. But after he asked about Godric, and we said it had been a thousand years ago, he was less impressed. We told him we only wanted to get back to Hogwarts, and he said we had to earn it.
He told us we had to complete three tasks for him before he would let us go back. We looked at each other and knew that it was a trick. A barking lark. But we also remembered his Achilles' heel. We knew we would have to play along to get our shot to get out of there.
"What did he give you two to do? Make him laugh?" Ginny snorted. Fred and George frowned.
For once, dear sister, we are not playing around. And Zeus could have fried us if we did it wrong. We are not making this up.
This happens to be all true. He gave us three mad tasks that only someone mental or desperate would try to do.
"Mental certainly describes you two," Ginny smirked. "But continue."
You wound us, little sister. There is a method to our madness.
And we remember our lessons from Uncle Bilius about the Greeks and their god complex.
"Sorry? Raised Muggle, remember?" Harry asked, more confused than ever.
"I remember," Ginny said rolling her eyes at the twins. She turned to Harry, resting her free hand on his knee. "Quick Wizarding History lesson, love: The Greek and Roman 'gods', were wizards and witches that found a way to be immortal. Some of them went a little mad over the years, and started thinking they were gods."
"Wait," Harry said. "Are you telling me, the Greek and Roman gods are immoral witches and wizards?"
"I'm afraid so, love," Ginny confirmed.
"Bloody spectacular!" Harry frowned. "Tom would love to know how they managed that!"
Not much chance of that, Oh, Chosen One. Most of them are so mental now, they've forgotten. And those that aren't are either dead or too well hidden for Moldyshorts to find out how.
Those that are still around, like Zeus, are too far gone in the head for even him to try to read their minds. Besides, they could and would slap him silly if he tried. But we digress. The tasks: first we had to collect a small bottle of Nymph sweat without touching them.
That was interesting, but not for mixed, younger company to hear.
"Hey…" Ginny started.
No, dear sister, you do not want to know. I wish I didn't know, and I was there!
I enjoyed it.
Not really helping, Georgie!
But that's enough of that.
Next, we had to get milk from a female Minotaur. Which happened to be grazing in the Valley.
Now, that was funny! Two young wizards such as us, chasing after a half cow, half woman. The Nymphs were rolling in the grass. Zeus fell over watching us run after one of them.
Then he laughed harder when the male chased us almost all the way back to him.
"Oh, I would have paid money to see that," laughed Ginny. Harry had tears in his eyes from laughing at the image of the twins being chased. Fred and George frowned, waiting for the young couple to stop laughing.
"Sorry," Harry panted, but the grin on his face said otherwise. "What was the third task? Collecting dung from a hind? Or maybe the spit from a Hydra?"
Oh, you're bloody hilarious! No, it was the fur off a Cerberus.
"What?" Harry sobered quickly. "Like Fluffy?"
The same. But we happened to have a few hairs from Fluffy.
"Who's Fluffy?" asked Ginny.
"Hagrid's three-headed dog," answered Harry. "Met him first year."
We collected some of the hairs he had shed around the end of that year. After you took care of the Stone, that is. Hagrid turned him loose into the Forest after that.
"There's a Cerberus in the Forest?" yelled a wide-eyed Ginny.
"He was in the castle," Harry commented.
"Not helping, Harry," Ginny scowled at him.
Would you like to have your lovers' spat now, or later?
"Shut it, Fred!" Ginny warned. "I'm tired of not knowing what happened to you, Harry. We are going to talk about this after we're done here."
"Yes, love," Harry bowed his head. He heard snickers that were cut short as Ginny drew her wand. The twins fell silent.
"Continue," Ginny ordered. "And no more cracks about me and Harry!"
Right. Well, we entered the cavern that Zeus showed us to 'get' the hairs, but we just hid in there taking stock of what we had on us and making a plan to get back here.
You see, Zeus has three major Achilles' Heels: his temper, his love of women, and games of chance. We made a plan that would use all three of them and still get us out of there.
So after about an hour, we went back to where Zeus was waiting for us. After we handed him the hairs, we asked what he needed them for.
He said he was making a tonic for himself to be more fertile.
"Ugh!" gagged Ginny. "Didn't need to know that!"
Unfortunately, yes, you did. It helped set up our plan. So, we asked him if he like sweets. And if he liked games, we had one for him.
We told him we had a sweet called toffee and some fruit. We each held out our hands to show him the toffee and the apple and banana we had.
"Oh, no," groaned Harry. "Not Ton-Tongue Toffee?"
The very same.
"Oh, Merlin!" Harry groaned again. "You're lucky he did fry you." Ginny giggled.
"Leave it to you two boneheads to pick a fight with Zeus!" Ginny shook her head.
We told him to pick one of us and pick a hand. He had to guess if it was toffee or fruit. If he was wrong, we got a piece of one of the Nymphs' togas as a souvenir. So, he picked Freddie and the apple we picked up.
She was a right lively Water Nymph.
"Fredrick Gideon Weasley!" Ginny shouted seeing the faraway look in Fred's eyes and the smile plastered on his face. Harry was fighting to keep a straight face. He didn't Ginny to know he thought it was hilarious.
Huh! Oh! Sorry. Zeus took the apple and ate it. He laughed and said he was great at these games. So, he picked Georgie and a banana. Well, he got it wrong. That's how we got the toga. But he ate the toffee anyway as the Nymph took off her toga and gave it to us.
Easy, Freddie! Well, his tongue swelled up like a pufferfish and oh, was he hacked! I told him, not to worry and reversed it. By now he was getting angry and wanting the naked Nymph, but still wanted to play the game.
He picked me and the banana and I handed it to him. But it was no ordinary banana. It was one of our latest creations. Ink Squirting Fruit!
"I'm surprised I still have brothers," Ginny groaned. "You two are mental!"
Cunning, dear sister, not mental.
"You sure you're not Slytherins in Gryffindor robes?" Harry asked with his own groan. Fred and George just grinned.
This is when the real fun began! Ol' Zeus went to bite into that banana and the ink went straight into his eyes. Oh, he was hacked off then!
Storm clouds started gathering overhead, thunder booming all over the place. Everything in the Valley starting running for cover, including us.
Zeus started hollering and shouting, swearing and flashing out lightning every which way. We jumped behind some trees that were close by and waited.
Zeus started looking around and shouting we tricked him and he would make us pay. We say that we were close to the pedestal and had cover all the way to the far side of it.
We made a mad dash behind the pedestal and watched for Zeus to have his head turned away from us. He finally did and with another mad dash we grabbed the pedestal and made it back here.
Just as we touched the pedestal, Zeus turned and saw us, but it was too late we were gone.
End Flashback
"Now, may we ask why you were asking us about it?" Fred asked crossing his arms.
"Because we know you, Harry. This is more than idle curiosity," George added, as he crossed his arms as well.
Harry sat in silence, considering just how much to tell the twins. He decided to use the excuse of last year to throw them off. "Because of Cedric. We need to know if Portkeys can function inside the castle for the DA's safety. We don't want what happened last year happening again."
"Understandable," nodded Fred.
"Very true," George added.
"Since you to know the most about the castle," Harry began. "I want you to head our special security. Just in case the Death Eaters get into the castle, I want your own brand of traps, everywhere."
"We can do that," Fred smiled evilly.
"We're on it, boss," smiled George just as evil as Fred. "Any reason why you're wanting this?"
"B'cause we know you're up to something," Fred commented.
"Other than getting rid of Umbridge and being prepared, that's all you need to know," Ginny said sternly.
"Fine," Fred nodded. "One last thing…"
"There's a rune that looks like your scar on the pedestal," George pointed to Harry than the pedestal. Harry walked over looking at the runes with Ginny.
"Time to get our research department going," Ginny quipped.
"Yes, love, it is," Harry nodded. He turned back to the twins. "Just so we don't fall victim to our own Achilles' Heel, ward this room so only you can get in. If we need it this will be our escape hatch."
"Why you devious leader, you!" George said.
"You're setting up to use Moldyshorts weakness against him, aren't you?" grinned Fred.
"Both of them," smiled Harry. "Immortality and me. Thanks for the inspiration, guys."
"All in a day's story," smiled George.
"And to think, you owe it all to us and Zeus!" grinned Fred.
