Disclaimer: I have a drawing of a naked Kai that I got at some hentai yaoi site and it got nothing to do in this disclaimer! I don't own beyblade or that drawing that I just said earlier if there was one I would put it in my profile (and get banned)
Crack fic away!
Kenny has a goal…
He strapped himself with every survival equipment he could carry including a portable potty
There's a certain goal that he must accomplish…
He dressed himself with brown cargo pants, black combat boots, white sleeveless shirt, a red bandana and blue face paint that he secretly stole from Kai
"I'm ready" he said
His first goal was to get tickets for Ming Ming's concert so he's camping out at the ticket outlet earlier than any fan and he also took Tyson with him. He needed company for the long days ahead and Tyson is just the person to kill that boredom besides he blackmailed Tyson anyway.
Tyson narrowed his eyes on Kenny while they sit inside the tent right next to the ticket booth "So, you planned all of this just to get her picture and autograph?"
"yes, it's for my Ming Ming shrine" he simply said
"and I'm stuck here with you for 3 weeks" Tyson continued
"that's right"
"why?"
Kenny rummages his bag and took out a ball "I figured that it's better to talk to a fellow human being rather than a volleyball named Wilson" he pointed at the ball that has a happy face he drew "See he's happy" Tyson sweatdropped
Tyson notice the blue facepaint Kenny used on his face, it looked familiar "Is that Kai's facepaint?"
Kenny only giggled in reply
'His obsession with Ming Ming has gotten worse' Tyson thought
Week 1
"Kenny there's no way I'm using the portable potty inside this tent!" Tyson exclaimed. He just discovered how hard it is to campout for tickets and his need to go to the toilet worsened
Kenny reasoned with him"Oh come on Tyson nobody will see you taking a dump inside this tent. In fact that guy outside is sleeping, I bet he can barely smell or hear that offending flatulence that you have" Kenny wore a gas mask he took from his bag "Don't worry Tyson I wont watch" he said turning around.
This only made Tyson more irritated it made his right eye twitch uncontrollably. In the end Tyson settled for the public restroom from a gas station just a few blocks ahead the only sad thing is that he forgot to bring toilet paper with him and the cubicle he's using ran out.
Week 2
There where now 3 people inside the tent. Tyson managed to include Max because he's the type of person who wants someone else to suffer with him besides Max was too gullible and believed Tyson when he said they were camping but not the type of camping Max expected
"Tyson is this some sort of punishment for not helping you out sometime ago? Or is it that tendency of yours of wanting someone else to suffer with you?" Max asked, he recently took off his shirt since it was a hot summer day and they're in a tent, Kenny refused to let them out for some reason.
"Both actually" Tyson answered, he was also shirtless
"But I need to use the toilet and both of you smell awful" Max complained Tyson and Kenny haven't took a bath since they started camping out
Tyson points his finger towards Kenny's bag "Use the portable potty Kenny kept in his bag and there's an air freshener too"
"Oh hell no! do I look like a toddler to you!" not only Max was in outrage but he was forced against his will to be stuck with Tyson and a crazy fanboy Kenny for the next few days
Max notice something familiar on a sleeping Kenny's face "is that Kai's facepaint Kenny is wearing?" Tyson nods
Max had an idea, a desperate idea "Kenny is sleeping… we can sneak out and run away"
"Do that and I'll post embarrassing pictures of you in my facebook account and let's not forget youtube" Kenny muttered in his sleep. There was no escape
Week 3
They were finally out of the tent and was lining up waiting for the booth to open Tyson looked like a zombie and Max looked paler than usual due to lack of sunlight while Kenny was smiling triumphantly the people behind that was lining up backed away from the stench emitting from the trio
One of the crowds screamed as there was something familiar on Kenny's face "Excuse me but is that Kai Hiwatari's facepaint?" They ignored the fan
Kenny explained to Tyson and Max his reason why they shouldn't come out of the tent "The first time when I was lining up to buy tickets for Ming Ming's concert is that there's always some pushing and shoving around causing an injury in the process. So I came up with a plan get really stinky to avoid all those" he said proudly
Indeed everyone lining up all covered they're noses and back ten feet away from them. When the booth opened Kenny instinctively reach for his wallet to buy tickets then he realize something
"It seems that I forgot to bring my wallet with me"
Tyson and Max sweatdropped
"You guys happen to brought money with you by any chance?" Kenny asked nervously
"No" they both said
Kenny dropped to his knees and cried out of despair "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"that's it I'm going home, take a bath and have a decent meal" Tyson said, walking away
Max was holding Kenny's laptop and pressed the delete button to get rid of some embarrassing evidence Kenny had at them "glad this is over"
Operation tickets for Concert: FAILED
As the concert was near Kenny was busy brainstorming. Desperate situation calls for desperate measures; a light bulb appeared on his head and immediately called a friend
"It's a good thing a genius such as I came up with a backup plan" Kenny said praising himself. Kenny's ultimate backup plan was using the BBA revolution's most reliable and trustworthy member of the team and Kenny didn't even had a hard time dealing with him
FLASHBACK
Kenny came running towards Kai who was standing and was busy looking at someone
"Kai I need you help me with something and uhhh…" he notice something on Kai's pants
"Kai you may need to get rid of that erection you're having" he said
Kai didn't really care, he was far too busy looking at Hilary and ignored Kenny on purpose. She was wearing a skirt, it was shorter than usual and she also wore a sleeveless white tank top. She was practicing her beyblade skills and Kai offered to help by giving her some tips while not even noticing him getting a boner just by looking at her.
"seriously Kai this is really an unhealthy habit of yours. Can you just tell her? I bet on my parents' ramen shop the she likes you back"
"…"
"I just took your facepaint from your pocket and use it for other purposes. Hope you don't mind"
"…"
"I'm messing around with your wallet too and I found this cherry flavored condom"
"…"
"Wow, Hilary looks good with her outfit today"
That's when Kai snapped and death glared at him "what the hell did you say about Hilary!" He growled causing Kenny to jump
Kenny immediately backed away "nothing I was just complementing on her attire"
Kai quickly calmed down "oh…that's nice. For a moment there I thought you were saying something offensive"
"now that I got your attention, will you help me by being my backup plan in case I can't get tickets for Ming Ming's concert?" Kenny asked
"Whatever" was Kai only response
"really? Is that a yes?"
"hn"
"Wow thanks Kai"
Of course just like Tyson and Max, Kenny also blackmailed Kai when he forgotten about his promise. Now that they are outside the backstage area Kenny's plan was to get pass the guard so he can get a picture of Ming Ming and have her autograph. He devised a perfect plan
"Kai, I want you to take off your shirt and pretend you're the lead dancer for Ming Ming's dance intro and I'll play a part as your manager"
Kai raise a brow at him, it has got to be the stupidest idea Kenny came up. Kai however has a better idea other than getting himself half naked for the sake of Kenny's obsession with Ming Ming. Kai simply walk towards the guard and talk, Kenny observes as Kai talk and notice the guard began crying to which eventually letting them in. Kai gestured Kenny to come and finally got in without any fuss
"Kai what did you tell him?" Kenny was curious
"I told him I came from charity and that you were a special child dying from a rare disease and told him it would be better if you at least have your wish come true by having Ming Ming's autograph"
"really!" Kenny look at him in awe, Kai was smart, caring for his friends needs, understanding…
Kai smiled evilly "Actually I was squeezing his nuts hard and threatened him until he cried"
Kenny changed his mind about him. Kai was a very scary person, manipulative and evil just like that time in Russia
"Now where is her dressing room?" Kai quickly scan the place to find her dressing room so he can throw Kenny in there so he can get his stupid autograph and Kai himself will be free from all of this nonsense besides it was meddling with his stalking Hilary schedule
Kenny spotted her "Look there she is!" he pointed to the direction to where Ming Ming was surrounded by her entourage
"Ming Ming you should be careful, I heard there's a breach in security and some outsiders came in"
"They probably lurking around here somewhere we must protect Ming Ming!"
Kenny hid himself from the heavy equipments while Kai just stood there exposing himself
"Kai what exactly are you doing! They'll see us" Kenny whispered
"Kenny you drag me all the way here so you can get her picture and autograph right?"
"yes"
"then pipe down I'm getting you an autograph so I can get back to something more important" he said and walks
"like stalking Hilary?"
Kai ignored him and continued to walk towards Ming Ming
Kenny begins to rant regarding Kai's recent behavior"Seriously Kai can you just ask her out for a date? Ever since that day you taught her to beyblade you've changed a lot, you were once this solitary semi normal guy but now your still that solitary semi normal guy with this stalking-Hilary-and-not-caring-if-anyone-sees-my-HUGE-erection type of guy. Ray is even planning for a therapy for you the next time he comes back"
"quit ranting, Kenny she's here"
"huh?" Kenny takes a look and saw Kai with Ming Ming besides him, his face immediately went red and steam came out of his ears
"hi Kenny! It was nice of Kai to help out a friend like you but Kai please don't threaten my staff the next time you guys are planning on sneaking in okay?" she said sweetly
"hn"
Kenny was still speechless, being near with Ming Ming lost all his vocal motor skills and he was sweating too much. This made the starlet very concerned as she reaches out her hand to touch his forehead and check his temperature
"are you okay? You don't have a fever do you?" she asked, when her hand touched his forehead Kenny fainted… on top of Ming Ming. Kai put a hand on his face and muttered 'idiot'
"OH MY GOD! HE'S MOLESTING MING MING!"
STRIKE 1
After explaining and calming things down Kai was thankful the fact that Ming Ming was still this sweet and understanding person and not her harsh counterpart that might appear at anytime and literally kick them out. They were allowed to stay until Kenny recovers, Kai was sulking he never wanted to be here and there is no way he's helping out Kenny when it has something to do about Ming Ming and this is the last. Besides he misses his stalking time. When Kenny woke up he notice Kai have this look of annoyance in his face
"uuuummmmm… Kai what happened?" he asked
"You fainted on top of Ming Ming"
Kenny immediately stands up "I did! how embarrassing! I must apologize!"
"She's doing her concert now, it's better if you apologize – "he was cut off when Kenny suddenly ran leaving the room
"when she's done with her concert!" he screamed, finishing his last sentence but realized it was useless, Kenny didn't hear the last part. Kai sighed and decide to follow Kenny in case something stupid happens. Much to Kai's frustration Kenny indeed got into trouble the moment he got out of the door and saw Kenny slipped from a freshly mopped floor and crashed himself on top of Ming Ming who came out from the dressing room to change some new outfit
"HE'S MOLESTING MING MING AGAIN!"
STRIKE 2
Lucky for them Ming Ming was still in a good mood and was patient enough to listen to Kai explaining things while Kenny was tied up by the guards
"So you're saying Kenny was still disoriented at that time, he didn't see the slippery floor sign?"
Kai nods although her manager doesn't believe a single word he said
"you think Ming Ming would believe all that garbage?"
"I instantly believe you"
Her manager was surprised "What!"
"Ok you can let Kenny go now. I have a concert to finish" she said sweetly and skipped merrily towards the stage while her manager snaps at Kai and Kenny
"The next time I see you harassing my precious starlet I'm gonna kick you both out and get a restraining order on your friend! You got that!"
"Y-yes sir" Kenny stuttered the man was threatening them but Kai just stood there staring at the manager with boredom
Minutes later they were watching Ming Ming performing her concert backstage. Kenny watched her dreamily while Kai was staring at his phone that has stolen pictures of Hilary
Hilary in her summer dress
Hilary wearing her training clothes
Hilary with her cute smile
Hilary in her swimsuit
Hilary beating the crap out of Daichi
"hey Kai" Kenny called
"hn" Kai was still staring at his phone
"I was thinking, what would be the best way for me to talk to Ming Ming without making a fool out of myself?" Kenny said, he leaned to what seemed to be a lever and accidentally tilted downwards due to his body weight
"Oh crap! What does that lever connected to!" panicked, Kenny look around and saw the trap door opened and Ming Ming walking towards it
"Oh no she's gonna fall, I gotta save her!" Kenny rushes to the rescue. Kai got a feeling that Kenny's actions would be mistaken for something perverted. Kenny directly ran towards Ming Ming the pop star had no idea she was walking towards the opened trap door but merely skipped around it gracefully and she didn't fell down, Kenny with his clumsy luck trips over some wires and crashed himself once again on Ming Ming causing them to lose balance and both fell down the trap door on top of each other.
"HE DID IT AGAIN FOR THE THIRD TIME!"
That was the last straw as Ming Ming's other personality emerges and had them kicked out and issued a restraining order on Kenny but did not include Kai for some reason. Although Kenny was banned from her concerts, he was still determined to go to her concerts despite many obstacles
"I still have my friends to help me. Now where could they be?"
Unknown to Kenny, Tyson has organized his friends to hide in some place safer where Kenny would never find them
"Kenny will NEVER find us here"
"Tyson"
"yes?"
"Please explain to me why you guys are hanging out in MY room?"
"Hilary can you let us stay here for a couple of hours until it's safe to go out? Kenny is out there somewhere"
"Kai is even with us" Max said pointing to where Kai was but found out he disappeared and wondered why Hilary's underwear drawer was open
"never mind, he took off"
"fine you can stay for a few hours"
"Great! to kill some time let's all play strip poker!"
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
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END
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