Disclaimer: I do not own Negima or its characters.
I am also sorry to say that the Negima Christmas fic I'd planned to have finished by today…well, isn't exactly finished yet. I'm…not so good with deadlines. I especially apologize to the author Xascul for the lateness of the Christmas fic. Don't worry though! I promise I will finish it! For now though, in place of that, I post this one. I figured… I'd do a little Negima parody of the Wizard of Oz, and torment Chisame at the same time.
So, to everyone out there, I hope you like this fic. And Merry Christmas!
Chisame and the Wizard of Oz
Chisame was up late. She'd been working for hours Photoshopping her newest pics of herself. Just wait! You all just wait! These photos will bring all men to their knees when I'm finished with them!! Just then, a message popped up on her computer screen saying, 'Greetings from the Land of OZ. You have won an exclusive trip to this land! Please click OK to start your adventure!'
Damn noob hackers. Chisame thought. They're really getting to an all time low now. Chisame tried to X out of the program, but instead, her mouse cursor moved on it's own to the OK button, and clicked it. WHAT THE HELL?! I didn't do that! Maybe I underestimated these noobs!
She then watched in amazement as a golden door appeared on her screen and started to open. Now what? Is this some kinda virus or something? I wonder what they call it? The Opened Door Virus? Stupid idiots. When the door fully opened, the computer screen started glowing in different colors. A message that Chisame could hardly see due to all of the color then appeared on it. 'Please Touch the Screen.'.
Touch the screen? What kinda virus is that? Just out of sheer curiosity, Chisame touched the screen. The colorful lights flashing on it then got so bright that she was blinded for a moment. Seriously WHAT THE HELL?!!
When the blinding light disappeared, Chisame was no longer at her computer anymore. She was suddenly in the middle of a bright sunny little village. She then noticed that she had tons of tiny little Fuka and Fumika dancing around her singing, "Yahoo the witch is dead! The witch is dead!"
Wh-what the hell is this?! Am I in some kinda crazy Twilight Zone? Chisame asked herself as she looked around. And what witch are they talking about?!
"I'm not dead!" She heard Evangeline's voice mumble from under a house nearby. "And I'm a vampire! A vampire!"
"Sssh! Master, stick to the script!," Chachamaru's voice warned.
"But if I come back later seeking revenge then how can I be…"
"Ssssh!"
"Oh fine."
Chisame looked down at the tiny Fuka and Fumika that were dancing around her. "They dropped a house on Evangeline? And since when did they multiply?"
"Huh?," One of the Fumika asked. All of them then stopped dancing. "Oh! Chisame-chan! We didn't drop the house on the witch! You did when you touched your computer screen!"
"Wait, how do you know about that?!," Chisame asked. "Were you little clones spying on me?!"
"Um…," All of them said at once. "Errr, no. No we weren't!"
"Whatever," Chisame growled. "Just tell me, how do I get out of this place, eh?"
The Fuka and Fumika looked to one another, and then laughed. "Oh, so you want to get back to Mahora Academy, huh? Well, you're just going to have to go ask the Wizard!"
"The… wizard?" Chisame asked. Do they mean the brat? He's here too? "What wizard?"
"The Wizard of Oz!" They chorused. "The Wizard of Oz! The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!"
" You have got to be kidding me," Chisame said. "The Wizard of Oz? Really?"
"That's the same thing I asked…," Evangeline mumbled.
"Master! Ssssh!"
"This is crazy!" Chisame said, looking around. "Gah! Fine then. How do I get to this Wizard of Oz then?"
"That's an easy one!" One of the Fuka copies said. "All you gotta do is follow the yellow brick road!"
"And where the hell is that?!," Chisame asked, looking around. "I don't see any damned yellow brick road anywhere!"
"You gotta follow the path out of the village!," A Fumika said. "Then you'll find it!"
"Whatever," Chisame growled. She found the path leading out of the Fuka and Fumika village. She continued on the path for a while, wondering what in the world was going on. How did I get here! How did this happen! Is any of this even real?!
Just then, she noticed a scarecrow standing beside the path that looked an awful lot like Asuna. When the Asuna scarecrow noticed Chisame, it jumped at her.
Chisame jumped back in surprise. "Just what the hell are you?!"
"I'm Asuna, duuuuh!" She answered. "And I'm supposed to go with you because I'm looking for a br….HEY WAIT A MINUTE! EVA-CHAN! ARE YOU SAYING I HAVE NO BRAIN?!"
"In a way….," Eva's voice answered from nowhere. "Now shut up and stick to the script!"
Asuna made a low grumbling noise, and then finished her sentence. "I have to go with you to see the wizard because I'm looking for a brain. Evangeline and Negi are gonna DIE for this later!
Oh great, Chisame thought to herself. Now I've got a scarecrow version of that idiot Asuna following me. I guess it's kind of productive of her to finally decide to find herself a brain.
Not much farther up the road, Chisame and Asuna ran into Chachamaru. Only, she was painted completely silver.
"Chachamaru?" Chisame asked. "Why in the world are you here?!"
"Master says that I am the closest representation of a 'Tin Man' that we have. The script says that I am to accompany you to ask the wizard for a heart."
"Script?" Chisame asked, just now catching that part. What is this? Some kinda crazy play or something? What the hell is going on?!
"Oh, did I say script?" Chachamaru asked. "I meant, er, nothing."
"What is going on you two? Really!" Chisame asked.
Asuna and Chachamaru looked at each other, then back at Chisame. " We don't know what you're talking about."
Chisame sighed. " Fine then. Let's go find the wizard. Now Chachamaru's with us. I wonder why I always seem to wind up with her. A few seconds down the road, they ran into Nodoka who was wearing a lion costume. " Seriously, what's going on here!"
" U…um," Nodoka said. " I- I wanted t-to go see the wizard with you guys! I.. I see, um. Well. I want to get the courage to tell Negi-sensei how I really feel!"
" Didn't you already do that?," Chisame asked.
" She means she wants to go farther than just friends with Negi-sensei!!," Haruna's voice whispered from behind a bush.
" Paru? Where are you?!," Chisame asked, looking around. She got no response. Why is all this happening?!
" S-so, can I come with you?," Nodoka asked.
Chisame sighed. " Sure. Why not." I just gotta be grateful that it isn't the entire class following me around. What a pain.
Soon the small group came to the yellow brick road. " So where does this go?," Chisame asked.
" To the Crimson Red City," Chachamaru answered.
" Crimson Red?," Asuna asked. " Isn't it supposed to be the Emerald City?"
" Master prefers Crimson Red."
" Oh whatever," Chisame grumbled. " Let's just go."
They all then set foot on the yellow brick road, and continued on. Soon the road led them through a field of flowers.
" Eh?," Chisame asked, looking around. " Flowers?"
" They're lilacs…," Asuna said. " Oh crud…"
Not too far off, Evangeline was floating in the air next to Chachazero. " So, what am I supposed to do here Chachazero?"
" Nothing," Chachazero answered. " The flowers are supposed to put them to sleep for eternity!"
" They… were?," Evangeline asked.
Chachazero nodded. " Yep."
" But I replaced those with lilacs!"
" Why?"
" I like them better."
" But Master, they'll make it to the Crimson Red City now!"
" Oh great. Then what can I do to stop them now?!"
" Um… improvise?," Chachazero suggested.
Evangeline smiled evilly. " Good idea."
And so ends Chapter 1……
Evangeline: You can't just end the Chapter like that! I didn't get to do anything yet….
Karai: I'm the author. I can do what I want to.
Chisame: Um… I'm still kinda lost here…
Asuna: I'M THE SCARECROW?! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! Since WHEN did I get turned into a SCARECROW?!
Evangeline: Yesterday you were at my resort, and you left your drink sitting there unattended…..and…..
Asuna: YOU SPIKED MY DRINK?! WHY YOU STUPID VAMPIRE! *Kicks Evangeline in the face.*
Evangeline: That is IT! You DIE TODAY!
*the two begin to fight.*
Chisame: Please! Someone, tell me what's going on.....I'm getting a headache.
Ayaka: OH NO! I MISSED MY ENTRANCE!
All: *turn to Ayaka* What?
Ayaka: I'm supposed to be the good witch that appears in a sparkling bubble with Negi-sensei's head painted on it!
Chisame: Thank goodness Karai forgot about that part.
Karai: Forgot? Oh no…. I'm just waiting for the right time to add that…
Chisame: You can read my thoughts now?
Karai: Did you forget that I'm the author?
Chisame….. This is gonna end up being one crazy story. HEY! I just realized…. Throughout most of this chapter… I DIDN'T HAVE MY COMPUTER WITH ME! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Going through any more of this without my laptop is going to be torture! Why! Why me?!!!!
Karai: Hahaha. Read and Review! And again, Merry Christmas!
