Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or Merlin.
Story: A Star Trek XI (aka Zachary Q and Chris P)/BBC Merlin crossover. Whilst attempting to beam down to Earth, a transporter malfunction occurs and Kirk and Spock find themselves in the mythical town of Camelot.
Rated: Suitable for all pretty much, will warn you in advance if anything changes.
"Spock? Where the hell are we?"
As Kirk gazed around, wide eyed at the medieval town they appeared to be stood in, his number one, Spock, produced a tricorder and began scanning the surroundings. "I am unsure...Captain. We are definitely on Earth." He turned to make eye contact with Kirk, musing. "But whereabouts, I could not tell you."
Already their bright yellow and blue uniforms and gadgets were attracting attention from the surrounding villagers and townspeople. Gwen, who had gone to fetch some water for Lady Morgana's bath that morning, noticed their confusion, and walked over, her violet cape billowing out behind her.
"Excuse me," she began politely, and both whirled to face her. "Are you alright? You look confused."
"Yes. Yes, we're fine," Kirk assured her in his devil may care fashion. "Actually, we were wondering, could you point us in the direction of whoever rules this land?"
"King Uther?" Surprise resonated in her voice, and a hint of fear that caused Kirk and Spock to exchange a quick unspoken glance. "Of course. I was headed back that way. Follow me." As she set off, Spock took a step towards Kirk.
"Captain," he began in a low voice. "Should we not make it our priority to get back to the Enterprise?"
"Yes, but we can't do that whilst the transporter is malfunctioning. We should make it our 'priority' to find out where we are first, then we can contact the ship." Kirk set off walking after Gwen, and Spock followed.
"Wait, you didn't give us your name...uh...my lady?"
Spock raised a brow at Kirk's poor improvisation, but said nothing.
"It's Guinevere," she answered.
"Huh," Kirk murmured, raising his own brow, though not to the same effect as Spock had done. "I wonder if she knows a Lancelot," he muttered to Spock.
"Captain?"
But Kirk never got the chance to explain, for they had arrived at the royal court room, meeting many stares and whispers for their relatively strange attire.
Sure enough, Kirk's suspicion was confirmed, as King Uther said majestically upon their entry "I am King Uther. Welcome to Camelot. What business do you seek here?"
Spock didn't need to even look at Kirk to know that he would be the one to begin an edited truth of some kind. "We are travellers, sire," he began, bowing. Spock copied. "We come to your land simply to buy some food and rest after a weary journey."
"Oh? Where is it you have come from?"
As Kirk continued to lie as eloquently and convincingly as he could manage, Spock gazed around himself at the others stood or sat at the front of the room. To the King's right was a younger, blonde man. He wore a crown also, so Spock deduced that he had to be the prince. The Crown Prince, it would seem, as there were no others sat at the front, wearing crowns. Stood to his right was a lanky dark haired boy in peasant's dress, presumably a servant to the prince as he stood so close to him. And another, a woman sat to the king's left, very aesthetically pleasing. Her fine clothes suggested she was some relation to the King, or at least in the King's favour somehow.
Spock snapped back to attention as the King's voice boomed out. "Well, you must be tired after such a long journey. Please, feel free to stay in the castle for a few days."
Merlin was in charge of showing the men to their rooms, and no sooner had he done so than Arthur called him back to his room.
"Merlin, have you shown our guests to their rooms?"
"Yes, Sire."
"Tell me, Merlin, did you not notice anything strange about the man wearing blue? Spock?"
"N-No Sire," Merlin shook his head.
Arthur let out an exasperated sigh. "His ears, Merlin? They were pointed?"
"Oh, yes, that."
"Yes, that!" Arthur snapped. "It means that he may be a sorcerer! I want you to keep a close watch on him, tell me if you find anything."
"Yes Sire." Merlin bowed, and made to leave.
"And, Merlin?"
Merlin spun back around, wordlessly this time.
"Don't let me down."
Merlin practically sprinted all the way to Gaius's. "Gaius, have you seen our new guests? The travellers?"
"Well, no I haven't seen them Merlin. I have heard of their arrival in Camelot though. Why, has something happened?"
"No, it's just..." Merlin tried to recover his breath. "Arthur noticed, that one of them, Spock, has pointed ears. He thinks he may be a sorcerer, or maybe, a mythical beast or something."
"Well, I suppose that is possible. But the only creatures I know of with pointed ears are elves. They are often very tall, with flaxen blonde hair..."
Merlin shook his head. "No, this man is no taller than me, and his hair is dark." His expression changed. "Arthur wants me to keep an eye on him."
"I'm sure those are Uther's wishes, not Arthur's," Gaius assured him. "But I'd be careful all the same Merlin."
Merlin smiled cheekily. "I always am."
"Man, this place is better than any hotel I've ever stayed in," Kirk commented, examining the carved wooden bedposts.
"Forgive me, Captain, but I am not knowledgeable of some Earth places. Where, exactly, is Camelot?"
"Somewhere in Britain. It's either Wales...or Cornwall, or somewhere." Kirk gestured vaguely.
"Captain?"
"It's a mythical place, Spock. The legend of King Arthur and Camelot."
"I thought the King was named Uther?"
"That's Arthur's father. It appears this legend is not yet completed."
Spock tapped his combadge. "Spock to Enterprise. We have established our location. We appear to be in a mythical place known as Camelot...which the Captain has suggested is either in Wales...or Cornwall, in Britain."
Kirk struggled to suppress a smirk as Spock said the words. His first officer hated not to be precise. There was a sudden knock at the door.
"Spock out," Spock finished.
"Come in," Kirk called. Merlin entered the room, looking sheepish.
"Hello. I just came to see if you needed anything."
"Our quarters are perfectly acceptable, but we thank you for your consideration."
Kirk smiled nervously as Merlin looked confused, closing the door behind him. He turned back to Spock, ready to come out with some quip about at least trying to act human, but Spock interrupted.
"The logical thing for me to do would be to mind meld with someone who will have a knowledge of where Camelot is."
"Why don't we split up? I'll look for maps, you...force your fingers on people's faces..."
"It might be in your best interests to change first, Captain. You will not go undetected in your Starfleet uniform."
Kirk silently thanked the mythical stars above him as he arrived at the room in which Geoffrey of Monmouth normally resided (though he was unaware of this), and it was empty. The shelves were stacked with mountains of dusty tomes but he found himself drawn to a table, where sure enough, some maps could be found. Picking up, he began to pore over it, then frowned.
"Wait a minute," he muttered to himself. "That can't be right." He jumped, at the sound of an angry voice behind him.
"What are you doing in here?"
Spock wasn't having much luck either. It had occurred to him that he could not mind meld with anyone without them realising he was alien or thinking him a sorcerer. And to ask them where Camelot was after Kirk had said they were both travellers would blow their cover. Instead, he had planned to climb to the highest point on one of the turrets of the castle, and set up a signal transmitter that would tell the Enterprise where they were so that they could both beam up.
When he got there, however, he found the dark haired beautiful woman he had seen sitting beside King Uther earlier, was stood. She turned, hearing him come up, and for a second he saw a strange, almost haunted expression on her features, before they registered surprise, then a smile appeared.
"Hello. You must be Spock. Pleased to meet you, I'm the lady Morgana, the King's ward." Her tone altered a little at the last part, but Spock didn't know her well enough to register or notice it.
"Pleased to make your acquaintance," he said, taking her hand as she offered it.
"It's a beautiful view, isn't it?"
Unsure of what to say, he gave a half nod, stepping next to her as she turned back to her previous spot. "Indeed."
"So what brings you to Camelot?" Her tone was inquisitive, conversational, rather than nosy, he could sense from all the conversations he had had with his human mother growing up.
"Well, actually we were travelling somewhere else, but we got a little lost and found ourselves...taking a little detour." Spock's mouth twitched at his clumsy words but Morgana was still gazing out at the trees and didn't notice.
She turned to him at last, smiled. "Got lost? I thought you were great explorers?" Her words were tinged with amusement, a light teasing. It appeared to be human flirtation, he realised. Again, he had often heard the like from his mother to his father.
"We experienced some problems with our ship."
"Ah...I see."
"Are you an explorer also?"
"No," she replied, with a shake of the head. "I have considered it though. I want to see beyond Camelot."
"Where would you go?" he asked, seeing an opening of place names that could be useful to him.
"I don't know. Anywhere. Just to see the world beyond these walls."
"I see." They were silent a moment. "Well, thank you for this conversation, lady Morgana. It has been...most enlightening." He gave her a tilt of the head, a hint at a smile, then left. The signal transmitter would have to wait for a better moment.
"Oh wait," she turned, remembering. "The King has invited you to a feast that will be held tonight."
"In our honour?"
"He often holds feasts for guests, yes," she smiled broadly.
"I will inform my crewmember. Thank you."
She turned back to the view, a smile still on her face as she realised she had found herself as charmed as she had been confused by his nature. Closing her eyes, letting her face cool with the gentle breeze, she finally understood how Gwen had felt about Lancelot. Morgana had met few men like this, most were ugly, or pig headed, or simple, or completely arrogant, like Arthur. This man was so different it was almost a shock! Unassuming to say the least, it was like he had come from centuries in the future...
Okay, calm down, you've blagged your way out of worse situations than this, you'll be fine, Kirk thought as he slowly turned to face an irate older man who looked personally offended as if Kirk had been ripping the map apart in his hands, not simply looking at it. A goofy smile formed on his face. He put the map down and sauntered over, taking the man's hand and shaking.
"Hi. My name's James T. Kirk, I'm a guest in the castle. Sorry I got a bit nosey, I just love looking at old maps and books. But I promise I'll ask next time." And he was gone, before Geoffrey of Monmouth could even open his mouth in protest.
"Captain, are you in any way familiar with the customs of medieval castles at feasts?" Spock asked in a low voice. The two were stood over awkwardly by the punch bowl.
"Just act natural," he hissed under his breath, feigning a smile as some knights walked past. "I still can't believe that map was so useless..." Then, unexpectedly, his cheeky smirk returned to his face. "Hey Spock, don't look now, but you've scored."
"Captain? I am unfamiliar with your vernacular."
Kirk let out a short sigh. "That dark haired woman over there keeps looking at you. Approvingly," he added, lacing his voice with meaning. "Well?" He gave in, when Spock said nothing.
"Captain, as you well know, I am currently involved in a relationship with Lieutenant Uhura. Infidelity would be...illogical."
"Is that your Vulcan way of saying you love her? Well, can I have her if you're not interested?"
"Captain, should our primary goal not be to get back to the ship?"
Kirk didn't get a chance to make some witty retort that he could always make time for women, as Arthur had stepped over.
"So! Aren't you two going to join the party? You know, you never told me where it was you actually came from."
Spock, noticing a slightly apprehensive Merlin stood a short way behind Arthur, and then the empty goblet in Arthur's hand, realised the prince had gotten a little drunk. He motioned subtly to Kirk so that he noticed it too.
"I think, you might have had one too many to drink, Sire. Perhaps I should help you back to your chambers?"
"No!" Arthur shouted, so loudly that most of the room turned to look at him, as he threw off Kirk's attempts to help him. "I want to know," he continued loudly, slurring a little, "where you came from. You're too mysterious, it's suspicious. What's your ship even called?"
"The Enterprise," said Spock, raising an eyebrow.
"You think you're better than me, don't you, S-Spock?"
"It would be illogical of me to think myself better than a prince whilst residing as a guest in his home."
But Arthur, through his drunken haze, was angry, made worse by Spock's refusal to rise to his bait. He swung for Spock with his fist. Kirk stepped over quickly to help, but needn't have bothered. Arthur's body went limp and he fell to the floor as Spock calmly executed a nerve pinch on his shoulder.
