Bond returns from Skyfall damaged and comes to Q's flat drunk. A relationship evolves.
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Q sips tea in front of the telly on a rainy evening. The past few weeks have been the best and worst of his career. He became Q and then managed to plug a deranged killer's computer into MI6 systems allowing him to escape and kill more people.
M.
She was an interesting woman and now she's gone. Q would have loved a chance to get to know her better.
Work is still in mourning for the dominating matriarch who controlled those halls for so long. Tanner, Mallory and Eve have all told him he is not to blame but…
The doubt lingers and there is someone out there who might not agree with their assessment. 007 has not returned from his medical leave. To be honest Q's frightened to come face to face with him again.
Tanner's crushed by her loss. Q can only imagine how despondent Bond must be. There were no shortage of rumours around MI6, indicating a special, pardon the pun, Bond between the two of them.
If 007's rush to get to her and kidnap her was any indication, it was not just M being sentimental about her best agent.
James Bond has always had the ability to make Q feel like an unsure school boy, his palms sweat and he feels giddy and nervous in the man's presence. More so than any of the other double 0 agents that work with him. They all have a different style about them but Bond's a creature that imbeds himself in your psyche with ease.
The annoying man has been in Q's thoughts a great deal since they were introduced in the museum. The pictures of Bond that he viewed before their first meeting, did nothing to prepare him for actually seeing the man and having those intense eyes meet his. Q almost lost his breath when they locked on him. He just managed to look back to the artwork, without completely embarrassing himself. He gave Bond the information package for his ill fated trip to China.
Q putters around the flat, feeding his cats and getting ready for bed when a pounding sounds at his door.
Q hesitates and calls out. "Who is it?"
"Bond."
Q opens the door quickly to see Bond's red rimmed eyes as he leans disheveled against the frame of his door.
"Well are you going to let me in?"
Q moves out of the way not knowing what to say.
Bond moves to remove his coat but stumbles drunkenly into the wall. "Q, you and I need to talk."
"007 I'm sure whatever you have to talk about can wait until tomorrow when you're sober. I didn't think you were due back until next week?"
"The funeral was today."
"Yes I know, I was there and I did not see you."
"You...not...suppose...to see...us. The others were there too...did you see them?"
"What the other double 0 agents? I think I saw 005 but what's your point Bond?"
"We were all there...and stayed...stayed in the shadows….where we belong." Bond finally manages to dump his coat on the floor and walks into Q's kitchen. Bond moves to the refrigerator and opens the door. He finds what he was looking for and retrieves a beer.
"Help yourself 007." Q says rolling his eyes at the inebriated agent. "Why are you here Bond?"
"What? Don't you want me here? Come on...I heard...that you...well...I can't imagine...you not wanting me? Most do...that is what 00 agent are for...getting into places...with our looks and skills…"
Bond wanders to the living room and plops down on the sofa. "Whatever it is you heard. I do not enjoy being snuck up on Bond." Q says peaved at the fact his sexuallity has obviously been the fodder for gossip amongst the double 0 section.
"Don't get your knickers...in a twist Q. I came here...to find out...how in...the hell it happened?"
"What happened?"
"You….you know bloody well...how did Silva do it?"
"Enter the systems? I plugged him in because M ordered me to find out what was on that laptop." Q says quietly.
Even saying it, sounds hollow to his own ears. He never should have plugged it into the main system regardless of M's orders. That is usually the number one rule. It was just that when you get an order to do something from on high that is needed so quickly...well the rules get bent. This time, him bending the rules got M killed.
"She did...you...should have known better!"
"This is it...this is what I've been worried about. Bond, I am sorry. I know I never should have and I understand if...if you…"
"If I WHAT! You understand nothing!" Bond yells. "We all had a hand in it...all of us! You were new...you should have been...the more cautious of the lot...of...us."
"Yes. You're right. I should have been."
"I miss her."
Bond says it so quietly Q barely hears it. "What?"
"I miss...her...M."
"I think all of MI6 misses M."
"No."
"No?"
"Not like this." Bond points to his chest. To his heart actually. "Maybe...Tanner...the two of us...we were closest...she...she…"
"You were like sons to her."
Bond looks at Q with a glance that says far more than his drunken slurred words can manage. There is a tear coming out of the corner of his eye. It silently slips down to splash against his black dress shirt.
"Ok, not like a son then."
"No. Not like a son."
"Bond...were you?"
"Yes."
Q was thinking lovers but he does not think Bond's answer cover that completely. "No one knows that you were lovers. There were rumours of you being her favourite but no one went to the extent to think you were lovers."
"Lovers….lovers...what is...a lover? I was...I wanted...was a lover...of a sort."
"Of a sort?" Q is confused by his drunken musings on the definition of lover. He supposes at different periods of history that there were other interpretations of the term. It seem more like Bond is trying desperately to find that answer himself.
"We never...I didn't have...the nerve...she never would have...it bloody well never got that far!" Bond snaps grabbing Q by the shoulders and shaking him. Eyes bloodshot and crazed with bubbling emotion. Regret. Bond is wallowing in pain and regret.
Q freezes in fear and remorse for what this damaged man has lost. It's eating at him, just as the guilt of what happened has been eating at Q.
"You loved her." It's not really a question. Q understands a bit about unrequited love. Having a crush sitting on your sofa with you, while confessing his love for someone else is like a stab to the heart.
"Yes." Bond releases Q as the answer croaks out of his throat and he leans forward and palms his face with his hands.
Q has no idea what to say next. The man is in gut wrenching pain, so he says what everyone says in incidences like these. "I'm sorry." It sounds hollow but it's true. Q feels the pain hang in the silence between them.
Q barely knew her but was struck by her all the same. Now she's gone and there is a gaping hole where she use to be. None of that is more evident than with Bill Tanner and James Bond. The two of them remain quiet for a while, as Bond drinks his expropriated beer.
Q feels like telling him, that he hardly needs any more alcohol but maybe he does. James is drowning in remorse as well as drink.
"I just wanted to know...why...why...you did it?"
"What? Plug in the machine?"
"Yes."
"She ordered me too! M never seemed like a woman who expected her employees to ignore her wishes."
Bond scoffs out a sudden laugh. "No...she wasn't...that type of woman."
"What type of woman was she Bond? I didn't know her long."
"She was...I don't want too...I can't talk about her."
"Maybe you think that, but you came here to do just that. Unless, you were just here to steal my last beer."
"Fine! M...she made me...guided me. Yelled at me...bitched me out for being an ass...many...times...but she trusted me. I pushed her and she bloody well pushed back! I always managed to...coerce...manipulate...but...not with her. I never got my own way...she never let me close enough. I flirted...I tried...she never saw me...or refused to believe it...I would have...with time. Beautiful...she was older...but there was so much beauty in her...around her. Bitch that she was...she owned it! No one could ignore her...power...her eyes...her eyes, so blue. They flashed and I would loose my breath...electric. There is no more time. I failed. We all failed. She died...I am near to death. That's what a 00 is...always...near...to...death.
"I am so sorry Bond. I don't know if I can ever successfully get you to believe that, but I am. I did not want her to die."
"I know...I know. I fought with Bill tonight...over the same thing...we all had a hand in it. Mallory could have ordered back up. M could have told me...she had been shot. Tanner...shit! Tanner could have got her out of that courtroom earlier...you emailed him."
"Yes but she refused to leave. Listen Bond, Tanner and Mallory feel as guilty as me about what happened, but there is nothing more we can do. We cannot go back in time."
"No. We can't. If you could start working on a time...tardis...machine...thing. I will be your first test subject. You let me know...if you ever start working on one...ok."
Q cannot help but smile at the request. "I will let you know the moment I manage time travel Bond. Would you like to sleep on the sofa?"
"I would rather not be alone...could I?" James nods his head towards the hall which leads to Q's bedroom.
"What?" Q says shocked.
"Could I…sleep with you?" Bond looks at him with pitiful eyes. Q flushes red and stands up holding out his hand for Bond to take. James takes it and follows him to the bedroom.
"I don't want to be a rebound 007."
"You aren't. You're a friend. I just want to feel warm...still so cold...I like you...I do trust you Q. Whatever happens...don't doubt that."
Q has had relationships begin with less and he cannot deny his attraction for the older man.
"Bond...whatever happens…" Q begins to help Bond undress as Bond's clumsy hands begin to help Q undress.
It's not like Bond has never had a relations with a man before, and after what she put him through...He simply can't find solace in the arms of another woman that means nothing to him.
"Yes, Q."
"I do hope you don't snore. I have to work tomorrow."
"I don't think I be much of a threat to your sleep tonight Q, but I don't make promises…"
"Promises about what 007?" Q asks hesitantly.
"About when I'm sober."
"Will you regret this Bond?"
"No, but you might."
"I think I will take a chance on you James."
"Good...I'm taking a chance on you too Q. I am not friends with many."
"Do you sleep with all your friends?"
"Yes, or at least I try to...just ask Eve."
"What about Tanner?"
"Like brothers...he and I...we could never…"
"Ok, but Mallory?"
"He is the new M...and I do...have a thing for...M's."
"I bet you do. Authority figure complex." They are both down to their pants and crawl into bed and spoon. Q is not willing to cross the line yet. Bond is too drunk and just needs a friend in this moment.
"Yes." Bond says sounding despondent again. His mind going back to the woman he loved and respected more than any other.
Q realizes his mistake the moment he says it. Bond held the woman he loved in his arms as she died. That is too much for him to bare at this time. His emotions are running wild and allowing this new relationship in is a big step for the man.
Q hopes this evolves into something more. He is more than halfway in love with the stubborn man as it is.
Tomorrow is another day. The pain will lessen over time and hopefully Bond's heart will heal with the help of a very good friend.
The end.
