Bru's Story
After she left the bar, I sat staring at the door she and Trisha had walked out of. Was she really here, on the island? I shook my head. She was single and it was 2010.
I felt a jolt seeing her, like an electrical current started buzzing in my body. I'd seen Trisha sitting in a booth with someone who was waving her arms around, making Trisha laugh. Whoever it was knocked an empty beer glass onto the floor, and jumped up to retrieve it.
It was Victoria. I could hardly breathe. She looked beautiful. Stunning. Her hair was long, her skin looked soft and shiny and natural, she was rounder and more mature looking, but the best thing I'd seen in a long time. I'd seen her through the years, now and again, bringing Maizie back to Lamb and Abby's in Cambridge, or here on the island, but never without her kids and/or Gus.
She was here without them both. Maybe alone. Was she staying at Trisha's? Or at Lamb's?
I'd sworn if she was single again, nothing would stop me from being with her, if she would have me. I would go anywhere, do anything, move any obstacle to be with her. Now my estranged wife was weeks from death and Victoria, the love of my life, was getting a divorce.
Would she even consider dating me and marrying me? I didn't know. I could only hope.
How many men had broken up with a girl, then realized she was the one and only? I'd convinced myself in 1987 that it was time she married me, and if she didn't, then to hell with her.
It had turned out to be hell for me. I'd pulled off and thrown up about a dozen times on the freeway as I drove away from her and Boston. My stomach was telling me the truth, even as I told myself whoppers, like 'you'll get over this' and 'there'll be girls everywhere who'll replace her.'
I remember thinking as I walked down the stairs from her apartment after I got my bag, do I really want to do this? Did I really want us to break up? I was already a bit shaky. I was remembering the last time we broke up. It had almost killed me.
Victoria came running down the stairs, tears running down her face. "Bru, think about it, all right? Think about staying together and us being apart for a bit longer." She followed me down the stairs.
"I don't think so. It's already been four years, and I've had enough. I'm alone all the time. If you can't commit at this stage, you're never going to."
"I just want to work for a few years, Bru. Till I'm twenty-four or twenty-five. Then I'll be ready."
"Yeah, and if someone else catches your eye in the meantime? I'll get the "Dear John" letter and I'll have waited for you for what, seven years? I'm sorry. I need you now."
I turned away and opened the door onto the street, and turned back and looked at her one last time knowing I might never see her again. She stood on the stairs, tears streaming down her beautiful face. She was so still. I hoped she would run to me, but she didn't. The door finally shut.
I felt like falling down on the sidewalk, but I walked to my truck, threw my bag in the passenger side and went around to the driver's side. I could see her staring at me out the window of the door. She still didn't move but I could see her shoulders moving and knew she was sobbing. I started my truck, and when I put my arm across the seat to look over my shoulder and back up, she was standing on the sidewalk. She put her hands up and covered her cheeks and eyes, and I could see her shoulders moving as she sobbed. Fuck. I'd only seen this kind of emotion from her a few times.
Maybe she really did love me.
I pulled out into traffic, feeling like I could throw up. Traffic was heavy and I moved really slowly down the block. Proof that I wasn't crazy in hating the big fucking city.
The light was red. I looked back one last time before I turned, and I saw she was down on her knees, then she collapsed in a heap. I saw the door of the apartment fly open and Maia run down the block to her. Victoria had run a little ways towards me before she collapsed. People were stopping. I rolled the passenger window down and could hear her sobbing, even though I was thirty feet away. My stomach lurched. This was wrong. I saw Maia pull her up into a sitting position, holding her shoulders, and I could see Victoria rocking herself. She was hysterical.
Then the guy behind me honked. I thought about pulling around the corner and going back, but I knew if I did that she'd capture me again and I'd be Muggins back on the island, sleeping alone, eating alone in front of the television, and waiting for her phone calls and for stolen weekends together. It was no life.
And she'd be in New York City. The Big Apple. I was jealous enough as it was with her being in the same state, literally hours from me.
I drove away, hating myself. Hating my pride and my ego and my need for the beautiful girl bawling her eyes out on the sidewalk. I'd never get over her.
Never.
Sure, I slept around ferociously after a week or so of mourning. I went crazy. Any girl I liked the look of, I took home or went home with. I always had condoms in my wallet, in my truck, by my bed.
It was bad. And it didn't even feel good.
It was better when I went to the woman's house. I'd come to a few times at my house and thought Victoria was in bed with me. I'd called a few girls Victoria, and a few had woken me up as they left to ask me who Victoria was.
I didn't seem to do it at other peoples' homes. But I was getting a reputation. Auntie Maria turned her back on me when I went over there for dinner with the rest of the family. Uncle Joe told me she was angry with me for breaking up with Victoria. Hell, I was angry with myself most of the time. Von told me Mrs. Spanelli had told Auntie Maria that I was painting the town red, sleeping around, being a houndog. Her daughter worked at the bar and saw everything. I'd gotten careless and a bit 'unrestrained', having sex in the back of my truck with a lady from Nantucket at a beach party and having lots of witnesses to the truck bouncing and the lady making noise.
Even Von was pissed at me. Patty turned her head. That was a slap.
Trisha was the only one who tried to talk to me about it. Everyone else just watched and judged.
I dated a girl from Oak Bluffs for about two months in the fall, then it fell apart after Victoria phoned me one night when we were at my place. She heard me ask Victoria if she'd changed her mind, then I went off the deep end when she didn't answer. I told her not to phone again then threw the phone across the room. Next thing I knew, the girl, I even forget her name now, was getting dressed and walking out the door, telling me not to call her.
I was back to square one. So I was back at the bar, picking up ladies. Hell, I picked them up wherever. Some women saw me in the grocery store when I was on a refreshment run from the construction site and invited me over. More than once I took a forty-five minute coffee break to some woman's house. I crossed the line into married women for a while, but had a few scares and learned from it.
Victoria was always on my mind, and I'd quiz Trisha. Was she dating anyone? The answer was always no. Had she been to the island? No. She was afraid to come here and run into me or see me with another woman. She saw Lamb and Abby at their townhouse in New York, or went to Cambridge.
Every anniversary that year was hell without Victoria. And I remembered them all, damn it. Our fifth anniversary together. Her birthday. My birthday. Thanksgiving. Christmas. I was miserable. I lay in bed at night wondering if she was sleeping with someone in New York City. It made me crazy. Even the beach hurt.
I ran into Abby in the store one day at the beginning of the next summer, when they were down for the weekend getting the house ready for the season. She looked at me, then put her hand on my arm and asked me how I was. I told her the truth, I was miserable and I'd made a bad mistake. She said that Victoria had taken it hard as well. I never thought Abby was my ally. After we said goodbye, I kicked myself for not getting Victoria's phone number in New York. Maybe a year would have changed things, and she might be interested in seeing me again.
But I didn't see her again in the same kind of situation, and I didn't go to the house and ask. Another year passed. Then another. I dated a few more girls but nothing felt right. Then Caitlin appeared and we know how that went.
And now here's Victoria on the island. Alone at Lamb and Abby's. For last call I had a coke, and everyone looked at me like I was nuts. I could drop by Abby and Lamb's. She'd left half an hour ago with Trisha. She'd just be winding down. We could talk. We could have our first real talk since…1987. We hadn't talked much the night before I married Caitlin. No, that had been hard-core desperate love making like I'd never experienced before or since. Never. It could only happen with her.
I got up and put my coat on and left. At home, there were a few cars in the driveway, so Star still had friends over, and she kept the kitchen door shut so I didn't disturb her upstairs when I went down to my suite.
I didn't even go in. I walked down the road to Lamb's house, and I could see a light in the living room. She was up. I walked up the long driveway and went around back, opening the gate. I walked across the deck and banged on the door. After a minute she opened it.
There she was, in her pyjamas. She moved aside and I stepped in and pushed the door closed. I don't know what I said, but she invited me in. I took off my coat and boots, and I kissed her. It was a blur, but we ended up on the couch with her on my lap, and we were kissing.
We talked about so many things, if only skimming the surface. She'd still loved me till I married Caitlin and she'd found out about me and Caitlin being together that one time in 1982. I told her what I'd told Caitlin, that I'd made sure Caitlin knew it would never happen again and it didn't mean anything. I didn't want us to be together, because I loved Victoria. I think she thought I was screwing Caitlin and her at the same time.
Victoria was hearing my story and realizing some things. She told me, "she always wanted you, right from the beginning, and she was ready to sacrifice her friendship with me to have you." Then she looked out the window, looking grim. We kept talking, we kissed a few times, and it was getting late. I didn't care. She was laying across me, she was stroking my neck and playing with my hair and I don't remember being this happy for a long time.
Somehow I talked myself into her bed, and we made love like we'd never been apart for twenty plus years. Half the night. One of us would wake up and wake the other one up. It was closer to five than four when I walked home with weak knees and butterflies in my stomach.
We agreed to see each other that night. I couldn't wait. She could've said that she didn't want to see me, that this was a mistake. But she didn't.
Of course, all the lights were on in my suite. As I came down the street, I could see Star's bedroom light on. I opened the door to my truck and closed it, maybe to create a distraction. I walked around the house to the back door and went in. I went down the stairs normally, hung my coat up, and went into my suite and shut the door.
I peeled my clothes off and walked into the bathroom and took a shower.
When I came back into my bedroom with my boxers on, Star was standing in my doorway. She hadn't been in this room in years, that I knew of, anyway.
"Where the hell were you? Who were you with?"
"None of your business, Star. We're not a couple, we're not together, so don't ask me any questions."
"Bru, I'm dying. Are you going to start running around on me?
"I'm not running around on you, Star. We are not, I repeat, not, a couple. I don't even remember the last time we had sex. We only talk about the boys. We have no relationship other than that. Remember?"
"So who is it? Dayna? Were you at her house? Did she drop you off?"
"I don't have to answer, and I'm not answering."
"Wait till I see her."
"Star, forget it. It's none of your business, okay?"
"I won't forget it. I'm telling all my friends that a few weeks before I die, you decide to start fucking someone. I'll make sure everyone knows."
"Do what you need to do, Star."
"You're a fucking bastard, Bru."
"Go upstairs, and go to sleep, Star. You need to rest, and there's no sense in you getting upset."
"Need to rest? That's a joke. And obviously I'm way past upset. You goddamn bastard. I hate you. I was good enough to look after you, to have your kids, now I'm just a nobody who's dying of cancer that you can't wait to get rid of."
"Star, are you dreaming? You're rewriting history. You threw me out of our bed. I was with you for ten years, and I was willing to keep being with you, but you were so jealous of someone I used to date, years before, that you ruined our marriage. I never saw Victoria from one year to the next. I never saw her alone. Think about that."
"You whispered her name in your sleep. All the time. How do you think that made me feel?" I'd heard this before.
"I know how it made you feel. You told me. And I told you I can't help who I dream about."
"You never loved me. I was your third choice." She started to sob. She turned and limped across the floor, her body now skeletal where it had been firm and soft.
What could I say? There was nothing to say. I had loved her, as much as I could, knowing I'd lost Victoria, my true love, and remembering the way Caitlin had left me beaten to a pulp. I told myself I deserved what Caitlin did, because both of us betrayed Victoria. I'd never looked at that fact till Patty so kindly pointed it out. Patty'd even asked me if I'd married Caitlin to get back at Victoria. I'd never thought of that either but I realize now how it looked.
What was I thinking? How had I gotten myself talked into marrying Caitlin? I'd resisted her advances for a long time. Like I told Victoria the night before the wedding, I didn't know how it'd happened. Last night (or this morning) Victoria told me Caitlin had told her the night before the wedding that Caitlin wasn't even sure she wanted to marry Bru. And how could Victoria tell me? How could I have asked Caitlin about it? And would we have stopped the wedding if she'd admitted it? Would I have admitted that I'd slept with Victoria, who I'd really wanted to marry, but fucked it up?
The next day, of course, Caitlin, after eight years of silence, told Victoria we'd had sex in 1982. She never told Victoria what I'd said to her after I'd come to my senses and realized what I'd done. Yeah, I'd told her it meant nothing, and that it would never happen again. And it didn't until Caitlin came to my cabin after she'd told us all that Victoria was a party girl and "fucked interesting people". I'd stayed home and drank a bottle of Jack Daniels in front of my television the next few nights after that, and Caitlin showed up, came in, and took her clothes off. She climbed on top of me and started to kiss me.
"Victoria's not coming back, Bru. I'm here. I want to stay on the island, have kids, be happy. Can we do that together?"
Shit. The rest is history. Caitlin was attractive, and interesting but odd. After we got back from our honeymoon, Abby told Caitlin that she'd talked to Victoria, and that a wonderful outcome of our wedding was that Victoria was seeing Gus, that they'd danced and laughed half the evening, that she'd given Gus Victoria's number and that they both lived in New York now and wasn't that great? Caitlin wasn't the same to me after that. She ignored me, started to do her own thing. I thought she was gonna leave then. Then we found out she was pregnant, and man, was she sick and unhappy. She lay on the couch or the bed all day and retched. She lost ten pounds, then gained a bunch of weight. The house was a pigsty. I didn't know what to do, and she screamed at me all the time. She went to Lamb and Abby's at Christmas and didn't tell me. My family were pissed but not surprised.
When Maizie was born, Caitlin was still weird. She didn't take care of the baby. It was a fact. She did as little as possible. I made formula. She wouldn't breast feed. I bathed Maizie. I made food. I did laundry. I didn't sleep. I worked all day and was exhausted. Caitlin got weirder and weirder and we fought all the time. Then she left. A few days after she saw the lovey-dovey Victoria with Gus at Maizie's first birthday, she was gone.
I couldn't help remembering those last few days before she left. We'd been fighting. She'd gotten weirder, angry, sad, aggressive, and cold. And mean.
Just so you know, I told Victoria we were together that first summer, after her brother died.
Why the fuck would you do that? When did you do that?
I did it just before the ceremony, the day we got married. Just before. Why'd I do it? I wanted to make sure she'd never love you again.
You bitch. I never realized you were so nasty? Why'd you be so mean?
Cause you still love her, Bru. I hear you talk in your sleep. Don't think I don't know.
I'm married to you. Doesn't that count?
You dream about my best friend.
Your best friend whose boyfriend you screwed. You didn't seem to care she was your best friend when you were taking your clothes off, did you, Caitlin? You didn't tell her that I told you it would never happen again, that it had been a mistake, did you?
Whatever, Bru.
It went on and on and I never knew what I was walking into. Then I came home one day, and the house was spotless. Cleanest it had ever been. The laundry was done. The bathrooms perfect.
"The house looks great, Caitlin."
"It'll be like this from now on."
"What's for dinner?"
"I picked up KFC. It's on the counter. I'm going to rearrange my drawers. Maizie's sleeping." And she walked away.
I remember sitting down, eating and watching television. She was busy in the bedroom all evening, then I heard her running a bath. Maizie got up a bit later and I gave her a bottle. Once I played with her, got her changed and back down, I turned off the news and the lights and went into the bedroom. Caitlin was asleep, so I didn't wake her up. I walked around the bedroom, turning off lights. She'd even really tidied up her walk-in closet. I was impressed. Maybe things were going to change.
When I got up in the morning, neither of them stirred. I got a bowl of cereal and some juice, and went to work for seven am. As I drove away, I saw Caitlin in the kitchen. She must have woken up as I shut the door.
I didn't make it home for lunch, and when I got home after four pm., there was a note on the table. "Gone to Boston." No goodbye. Nothing. She was probably pissed, I'd probably done something. I had hockey, and the last ferry arrived after nine, so I thought I'd see her then. The house was quiet, so I lay down for a nap. When I woke up around supper time, I was disoriented. I had a funny feeling. Maizie's room looked like Caitlin had taken quite a few stuffed toys with her, which was odd.
We played hockey from eight pm to ten, then went to the bar for a beer. I only stayed for one. I thought I better get my ass home to see my wife and baby or I'd be in more trouble.
The house was dark and quiet as I drove up, and I didn't see Caitlin's Volvo. I thought they'd be home. I walked around some more and went into our bedroom. Still perfect. I phoned Abby.
Lamb answered. "Bru, Caitlin met someone for dinner and thought she'd be late. Ran into them shopping. So they're staying here for the night."
"Okay, Lamb. How's Maizie?" I loved my little girl so much. She was dark like me, but she looked like Caitlin a lot, I thought.
"Perfect. She ate well, and was played out by just after nine. Haven't heard from her since then."
"Thanks. I guess I'll see them tomorrow." I went to bed, set the alarm to get me up, and had a really good sleep knowing my little girl was in good hands. I slept like a log. I wondered who Caitlin had met? If it was Victoria, Lamb would have mentioned it. She wouldn't run into Victoria in Boston, I realized. Caitlin had said Victoria was going to Florida to see her Mom. With Gus. Bastard. I knew they were together.
I was in the shower in the morning and could hear the phone ringing. It was Lamb's number on the new call display. I ate my breakfast and wondered why they'd be phoning so early, even though I knew both Lamb and Abby were early risers. I didn't want to risk waking Maizie up, so I left it.
When I got home after work, no Caitlin or Maizie. I waited till after six, then called Lamb in Cambridge.
"Bru, I don't quite know how to tell you this, but Caitlin called us, and..she's…in Paris. She called a little while ago to tell us. She got on the plane yesterday at four in the afternoon. Did you know she was going?"
I remember sitting down hard on the kitchen chair. She was gone. It was over. I could feel it in my bones. In two years, I'd gone from being single, to married, to being a dad, to being separated. I was thirty years old.
"What the hell does this mean, Lamb? Has she left me? What the fuck am I going to do with Maizie?"
"She said she'd be back in a week, two at the most. We can keep Maizie for you, Bru. We're happy to do that. I just don't know what to tell you about Caitlin. She wasn't sharing much." He sounded funny.
Of course, she had her own money, so she didn't need and wasn't spending mine.
She never called me. I got nothing from her, except messages about Maizie from Lamb and Abby.
I was too stunned to cry. I went into our bedroom again and looked at her drawers. Almost empty. I turned on the light in the walk in closet. Almost empty. I went in our bathroom. Her usual makeup stuff was gone. Yeah, of course.
She'd taken a lot of stuff for Maizie. All her favorite stuffed toys, all her clothes, like she was moving her away from me.
The clean house, which I'd always wanted. She was giving me what I wanted. It'll be this way from now on. Yeah, because I would keep it that way.
I sat on the couch drinking beer all night, looking at the television but not seeing it. I went to bed and crashed.
Next morning at work, Von knew something was up. "What's going on, man? I haven't seen you look like this since you broke up with Vix."
"Caitlin's gone."
"Gone? Where's the baby?" Von knew that the baby was my primary concern, because he saw how it was with Caitlin and I.
"In Cambridge with Abby and Lamb."
"Shit. Where's Caitlin?"
"She was in Paris. Who the hell knows where she is now. It's over between us. We've been fighting like cats and dogs. I shoulda known something was up when she cleaned the house up. She was packed. She packed for Maizie. I'm so stupid, Von. This is my payback for breaking up with Victoria."
"You mean like karma or some shit? I doubt that. Caitlin's beautiful like a cobra. She wanted you, Bru. Maybe she'll come back."
"No. She won't. And I don't want her to. But maybe there's a chance Victoria isn't serious about Gus." They'd been at the birthday party. A week ago? Was it only a week or ten days?
Von shook his head. "Been a lot of water under the bridge since you two were together. I dunno. She looked pretty interested in Gus at the party. Even at the wedding. She's been with him ever since, according to Trisha."
"You mean you knew something about Victoria and you didn't tell me?"
"Hey, buddy, you married Caitlin, remember? Beautiful, tall, skinny, blonde Caitlin? You broke up with Victoria that fateful day in 1987."
"Von, I thought you, above all people, would understand that I still love Victoria more than anyone else."
"Man, after you punched me in the nose, I made up my mind I was never mentioning her to you again. Never." He held his nose as I remembering how hard I'd punched him when he told me to forget about Victoria, that I'd broken her heart when I broke up with her.
"I said I was sorry. I apologized for that."
"Yeah, well, too bad. Trisha and Patty talk about Vix all the time. I know a lot but I'm not changing my policy."
I took Friday off, and drove to Cambridge to see my baby girl. She was in the big living room with Abby, crawling around the floor and standing up at the coffee table. She started to cry when she saw me, and reached for me. It crushed me, but I knew that I couldn't look after her without Caitlin. Did Abby want her?
Oh, yes, Abby wanted her.
They'd heard nothing more from Caitlin. I heard nothing from her either. I knew the score.
Whatever, Bru.
Lamb was distraught. He was wolfing down Tums and Rolaids. "Maybe she's had another breakdown. That's the only explanation for this."
I couldn't believe my ears. "Another breakdown? I never knew there was a first one."
Lamb looked at me, exasperated. "Of course you didn't. She wouldn't talk about it. Before she came back to the island, she spent some time in a Zen monastery in Mexico that had psychiatrists and psychologists on staff. Her two friends had just died of AIDS and she suffered…a psychotic break. Obviously, she didn't tell you."
I snorted. Here was my karma, no matter what Von thought.
Abby came into the room after putting Maizie down. "We were really worried about what she was doing and thinking, but we knew how decent you are, and we weren't worried about you taking advantage of her, but maybe…the other way around. I'm sorry, Bru."
The phone rang for Lamb, and he left the room. I wasn't really focused but I could see Abby looked tired and unhappy. They were upset. "I love having Maizie, Bru, but I can't believe Caitlin has left you, and most of all, that she's left Maizie. Phoebe is shocked. And I've talked to her a few times, but Victoria knows nothing."
That caught my attention. "You've talked to Victoria? Where is she?"
"She's in New York. She and Gus are engaged, and they've asked to get married at the house on the island in September." Abby watched me closely.
I know my face fell. That bastard Gus. I watched him take her out of my arms at my wedding. My heart beat wildly. That had been one of Caitlin's favorite themes when we fought.
An hour. We'd been married an hour, and you were already dancing the lambada with Vix, drooling over your special girlfriend. Everyone at the wedding saw it! Didn't you care how that made me feel? Everyone knew you still loved her.
I married you, Caitlin.
That's because Victoria was too smart to marry you!
The first night after Lamb told me where Caitlin was, I'd wondered where Victoria was. Now I knew. So I had no chance there. It was my own fault. I'd told her I didn't know what I was doing with Caitlin.
Bitch. Lying, cheating, bitch.
I would pay for that fuck-up forever.
I had my hands covering my face, and I knew I was crying.
"Bru, I'm so sorry. I know you loved Victoria and she loved you. I don't know why it all had to happen like this."
I wiped my face off and got it together. "Abby, it's my own fault. I talked myself into thinking if Victoria wouldn't marry me then, she'd never marry me. I know I was wrong. I know she would have married me after a few years because she told me the night before the wedding she'd never found anyone like me, that she loved as much. By then it was too late."
"The night before the wedding? What were you two talking about? When did you see her?"
"After Caitlin drove her home, I went to the B&B where she was staying. She and Caitlin were arguing about something on the way home and she was upset, so she wanted to walk on the beach. I waited outside. I was just going to go up to the door, when she came out. We talked, argued really, but then we kissed. I knew I still loved her and she still loved me."
"Is there more?"
"Yeah, we spent the night together." Abby's eyes got huge and she was silent, probably trying to think back all those years. "She came with me to my place. It was the best night of my life. But I didn't stop the wedding like I should have. And she didn't look at me after the ceremony. Caitlin and her fought again before the wedding, and Victoria was mad at me. She told me to forget the night before, to pretend it had never happened. Why am I telling you this?"
"Bru, you and Victoria and Caitlin have a complicated history. Nothing surprises me any more. And I'm discreet."
"I know you are. Don't get me wrong, Abby, I loved Caitlin. Maybe not like Victoria, but I'd convinced myself that Victoria wasn't going to marry me, and Caitlin wanted to. Caitlin was beautiful, she was funny, she was passionate. But she was done with me when we got home from Maine. I think reality was setting in. A blue-collar husband. A little house on the island. Expectations. Then she got pregnant. She didn't like looking after Maizie. I don't think she liked me any more. We fought, Abby, like crazy. I wonder now if she was depressed. Sometimes she was crazy. Frantic. Angry."
"I'm so sorry, Bru. I had a bad feeling, from the beginning. Phoebe had a bad feeling. Lamb never sees anything bad. Especially with Caitlin. He thinks she'll be back, that she'll miss Maizie. She never bonded with Maizie, Bru. Not like most women do. I could see that, so could Trisha. I have a feeling it'll be a long time before we see her again, if she's done something this dramatic."
"I agree with you, Abby. She won't be back. She has enough money that she can stay in Europe forever. She doesn't want me, and I don't think she wants Maizie, so she's gone. I need to move on."
We talked about how I'd see Maizie, which during the summer would be on the island. I was invited every day, whenever I wanted, and I had a standing invitation for lunch and dinner.
Then Star had reappeared on the scene, breaking up with her boyfriend Dave the plumber. We were back together, then she was pregnant. Luckily Caitlin signed divorce papers and Star and I got married. That was good for about ten years, but Star was so jealous of Caitlin and Victoria. Whenever we fought, she hauled out my past relationships. After Caitlin died, she shut up about her, but she freaked if she heard Victoria was on the island.
