Author's Note: This is just a silly little fic I decided to write for Halloween. It doesn't in with the current timeline but it is from my Meredithverse. Apologies if it's random or weird, it was just something I wanted to do to get my mind off of yesterday! Please remember that comments are . Love you guys!

Meredith really hates whining. It's why she can't stand Kavanagh, it's why she berates her scientists and currently, it's why she's hiding from John.

"Hi Mer," John greets, a shit-eating grin plastered to his face. "Whatcha doin'?"

Correction: was hiding from John.

"Busy," she snipes, not looking up from her laptop. "Go away."

He ignores her, as he always does, and slouches against the bathroom counter. His arms are crossed over his chest and he looks ridiculously handsome, but this time, Meredith's not falling for it.

"Go away," she says again from her place perched on the edge of the bathtub.

"Why are you working in here?" He asks, cocking a hairy eyebrow in her direction and she thinks he's smirking a little too.

Bastard.

He gives a little sigh and pushes off from the counter before he leans over, ducking his head for a quick kiss. "You know," he says, his voice barely above a whisper as he reaches out and brushes her hair back from her face gently. "If you're going to try to hide from me, you should probably work on not typing so loud."

She reaches up to slap his hand away but he only laughs.

"Would you get out?" She asks, glaring up at him. "I'm busy."

"You're on vacation."

"We're here for meetings. That hardly constitutes a vacation."

"No, we were in Colorado for meetings. Now, we have three days to spend with your family before 'Gating back to Atlantis."

"Spending time with them hardly constitutes a vacation either," she responds dryly.

"C'moooon Mer!" He says in that silly nasally voice that drives her nuts. "It's Halloween! We promised Madison—"

"—No, you promised her. I had nothing to do with that little arrangement."

She's doing her best to not look at him, but she can practically feel him pouting at her and it takes every ounce of strength she possesses to keep from rolling her eyes.

"That stopped working a long time ago, Sheppard," she says as sharply as she can muster. He's starting to give her a headache.

"C'mon," he says again. "It'll be fun."

"I'm sorry, but dressing up in ridiculous costumes and walking around in the freezing cold is not exactly my idea of fun."

"But Mer—"

"—No, John. End of discussion."

She hears him huff in irritation, but he doesn't move and after a moment, she chances a glance in his direction. He's still staring at her, frowning darkly in a way that makes her shiver just a bit.

"We're not going," she says again because she thinks it bears repeating.

"We'll see," he mutters, but she just rolls her eyes because she knows she's won.

Besides, if there's one thing she hates more than whining, it's Halloween.

.::.

"You can't break a promise to a five year old, Mer!" Jeannie complains, waving her hands wildly as she moves around in the kitchen in such a way that's actually making Meredith dizzy.

"Okay, first of all, I did not promise her anything! John did! And second of all… what are you doing?"

"I'm making cupcakes for Maddie's class," Jeannie says, stopping to glare at her sister. "And it doesn't matter that John was the one who said you'd take her trick-or-treating; the point is, he said you'd both be taking her and she's going to be crushed if you back out!"

"She's five! She won't remember it a year from now. It's not like it's going to scar her for life?"

"Oh really?" Jeannie asks smugly, arms crossed over her chest. Meredith knows that look; it means Jeannie's about to say something that's going to piss her off. "Why don't you like Halloween, Meredith?"

Meredith scowls at that. "Okay listen, those circumstances were different! He left me at a haunted house, Jeannie! I was four!"

"Exactly. And you still remember it."

"I was traumatized for life, but something silly like trick-or-treating? Please."

"You're taking her."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes you are," Jeannie says, narrowing her eyes dangerously. "Or so help me God, I'll tell John about the time you pulled your—"

"You promised we'd never speak of that again!" Meredith hisses, glaring over her shoulder to make sure John's still occupied in the other room with Madison.

"Then it looks like you're taking your niece trick-or-treating."

"This is… this is low, Jeannie," she scowls, crossing her arms over her chest to mirror her sister's stance. "Even for you, this is low."

"I learned from the best," Jeannie says pointedly. "So, do we have a deal?"

Rather than answering, Meredith stomps off into the living room, eyes narrowed dangerously at John before she sinks down onto the couch, mouth set in a crooked frown.

"Hi," he greets with a smile from his place on the floor where he's playing dolls with Madison. He looks relaxed, laid back and incredibly smug. Even though she's annoyed, she can feel her insides quivering just a little at the sight before she reminds herself why she's here.

Bastard.

"There are going to be some rules," she announces. "Madison, put the dolls down and come over here. This is very important."

Madison looks at John with a frown, and at his nod, she drops her doll and climbs to her feet before trudging over to the chair opposite Meredith.

"You too," Meredith says, glaring at John.

John shrugs and pushes himself to his feet before he ambles over to the chair and drops down into it beside Madison before he lifts her onto his lap.

She stares for a moment before she shakes herself and starts glaring at them.

"I get half the candy."

"No way," John says, shaking his head. "Absolutely not."

"Listen, I'm not traipsing all over the city for candy if I don't get a fair share. Besides, she's five. Too much candy isn't good for her anyway and you don't want to rot your teeth, do you Madison?"

John snorts and slouches in the chair just a bit while Madison screws her nose up in thought before she tugs on John's shirt and motions him closer. Meredith rolls her eyes when he leans forward so Madison can cup her hands around his ear and whisper.

"You're sure about that?" John asks after a moment, and the child nods, her inherited curls bobbing wildly around her face. "Alright, I'll tell her." Clearing his throat, he leans back and eyes Meredith carefully. "Madison says she'll share her candy with you, but no more than a third."

"Oh, she did not!"

"Yes she did, didn't you Maddie?"

Madison nods and crosses her arms over her chest. "Can' have all my candy, Auntie Mer," she frowns. "Gots ta save some for Mommy, daddy and Uncle John too!"

Meredith glares at her for a moment longer, hoping to break her, but Madison just stares right back, so she sighs and nods. "Fine," she concedes. "But any candy consumed up front does not count towards my final third."

"Mer, c'mon," John snorts.

"I'm serious! I'm hypoglycemic! The last thing I need is to slip into a hypoglycemic coma because the Candy Nazi refuses to let me have a piece or two!"

John glances down at Madison and at her curt nod, he winks. "Fine. But you can't exceed more than two pieces an hour. Any more is deducted from the final haul."

"Deal. Finally, and this is a big one: we will not stay out past 2000 hours—"

"—Eight o'clock," John whispers for Madison's benefit.

"—and there will be no carrying whatsoever. I have a bad back and I will not be responsible for toting you around when your feet get tired."

John winks at Madison again, but Meredith ignores him.

"Do you agree to the terms and conditions we've discussed here?"

Madison and John take a moment to look at each other and then without ever saying a word, they turn back to Meredith and nod. "Madison and I are both in agreement."

"Good," she says, slapping her hands together before she stands.

"Wait, wait, wait," John says, pointing back to the couch. "We have a few terms of our own. Sit."

Meredith narrows her eyes at him briefly before she drops back onto the couch, arms crossed over her chest. "Well? Get on with it."

"Costumes."

She rolls her eyes."Yes? What about them?"

"It's Halloween. Halloween means you have to dress up."

"Oh no. No, no, no, no! I've allowed you and Jeannie to con me into the trick-or-treating thing, but nobody said anything about costumes!"

"Pleeease, Auntie Mer?" Madison pleads. "Oh please, please, please?"

"Absolutely not."

"Meredith," John chastises. "C'mon, I'm gonna wear a costume. Don't be a spoilsport!"

"No, John. I don't do costumes."

Madison's lower lip is starting to tremble and Meredith realizes she's seconds away from tears.

"Hey, don't do that! Listen, you can… you can have my share of the candy okay? My share of the candy and I don't have to dress up."

"No," Madison whimpers, arms crossed over her chest. "Uncle John, you said she'd wear a costume too," she says, sniffling just a little and Meredith groans loudly.

"John…"

"C'mon Mer," he says, frowning at her. "Don't make the kid cry, huh?"

"There's no time to find a costume this late," she says, hoping against hope that it's going to be enough to get her out of this.

"You can wear mine," Jeannie offers from where she's leaning against the door frame, smug smile on her face. "And John can wear Kaleb's. We aren't going to need them if we aren't taking Mad out."

Meredith glares at her sister. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Nope. And that way, you can both match Maddie's costume," she says. "Wouldn't that be cool, sweetie?"

"Oh yeah!" Madison squeals, launching herself at her aunt. "Oh please, Auntie Mer! Please!"

She's clinging to Meredith now while both John and Jeannie snicker and Meredith has a distinct impression that she's been had. "Oh for the love of… Fine! Fine. But now, I get half the candy and we are not, under any circumstances, going near the Haunted Forest. Do I make myself clear?"

"Deal!" Madison giggles, clinging to Meredith's waist as Meredith pats her head awkwardly. "Mom! Can we go get ready now?"

"Alright, alright," Jeannie says, offering her a smile. "C'mon. You too, Auntie Mer. We've got a lot of work to do to get you ready for tonight."

"Great," Meredith grumbles as she pushes herself to her feet. John laughs in that horrible, awful donkey laugh that she loves to much, but Meredith just grabs a pillow and throws it at his head.

Bastard.

.::.

John's arms are aching and his back is twinging in a way that reminds him he's not twenty-five any more—or even thirty, for that matter—but he can't help but grin as he shifts Madison just a little in his arms. She responds only by burying her face against his neck and tightening her arms around his neck.

"The amount of candy she's collected is ridiculous," Meredith huffs from somewhere behind him.

John rolls his eyes. He can hear her searching through Madison's bag of candy and he can only imagine the damage she'll manage to do before they ever get home.

"Stay out of the candy, Mer," he reminds her, a fond smile on her face when she snorts.

"She's asleep. She'll ever know."

"No, but I will," he says, shifting Madison just a little more. "Why don't you come up here and walk in front of me so I can—"

"—Not another word, John Sheppard," she complains, though a second later, she's at his side, tugging her too-short cheerleading skirt down just a little. "This is cruel and unusual punishment, you know. It's forty degrees out her and this stupid skirt does little to keep me warm."

John rolls his eyes again before he shifts Madison into one arm, ignoring his protesting back before he drops the other around Meredith's shoulder, pulling her close to his side.

"That's what I'm for," he grins, dropping a kiss to the top of her pig-tailed hair. "Think Jeannie'll let us take these costumes back to 'Lantis with us?" He asks with a smirk. "I can think of a thing or two I'd like to do with 'em, if you—"

She cuts him off with an elbow to the side and he can't help but laugh.

"Perv," she grouches, opening Madison's pillow case again to dig through the candy. "A lot of Snickers bars in here."

"Ooh, gimme one."

She huffs in indignation before she digs into the bag and pulls the wrapper off before touching it to his lips.

"Thanks," he grins around the mouthful of candy.

"Mmhmm," she responds, eyeing him carefully. "No complaints about your back in the morning," she orders. "I told her we were not carrying her all over the place."

"C'mon, Mer. She's tired," he responds. "She's not that heavy."

"Still, no complaints," she commands.

He leans over and kisses the top of her head again, pausing slightly when he catches sight of the three of them in a neighbor's window. He startles just slightly at how comfortable he looks, kid tucked comfortably in his arms and his girl wrapped around his side.

It takes a moment before he realizes that he's stopped and is staring at their reflection and when he does, he shakes himself from his thoughts.

"John?" Meredith frowns, tugging the bottom of Madison's skirt down where it's rode up just a little in the back. "You okay?"

His mouth his dry and he has to clear his throat before he speaks.

"Yeah," he says, offering her a genuine smile. "Yeah Mer, I've never been better."

She gives him a smile before she stands on her toes and presses a kiss to his lips. "C'mon, let's get her home. It's freezing out here," she complains.

"Yeah," he says, shifting Madison in his arms once more. "Let's go home."

"I still think I should get more than half the candy," she says with a loud sigh. "I mean, after all, she fell asleep less than half way through. I had to do most of the work."

"Meredith," John groans, laughing loudly.

"What?"

"Shut up," he laughs, pulling her back against side.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"Happy Halloween, Mer."

She snorts at that.