The first time Sherlock saw John was when he relapsed. The army doctor stood next to him, arms crossed, frown on his face. The detective knew that John did not approve of the drugs, but Sherlock couldn't help it anymore. It had been six months since he and Moriarty had their little showdown on the roof.

Sherlock allowed himself to crumple, the heroin in his veins distracting him from the thought of Moriarty. He focused the best he could on the hallucination. "I'm sorry John. I'm not strong. I'm only human," he whispered to the apparition, a ghost from his past. He allowed a black cloud to land on him, and drifted from consciousness.

X

I can fake a smile

I can force a laugh

I can dance and play the part

if thats what you ask

give you all I am

X

The second time he saw John, he was on a case. Morphine and adrenaline numbing everything, he sat in his room, thinking. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the familiar figure sitting with a sad look on his face. The vision got up and smacked him, the blow stinging his cheek. He may have been dreaming, but his mind told him John was there, and angry. "Sherlock, why would you do this to me?" he demanded angrily.

"Because you would hate me if I came back," his drug-addled mind supplied. Sherlock closed his eyes to get rid of the vision. He wasn't ready to face John. Sherlock Holmes did not kknow when he would be.

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I can turn it on

be a good machine

I can hold the weight of worlds if that's what you need

be your everything

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The third and final time, Sherlock saw him, the doctor was lying on the floor dead. Sherlock's mind showed him all his fears, ending with the good doctor bloody and mangled on the floor. The detective threw the syringe away and dug his palms into his eyes. "I'm so sorry," he sobbed.

The tears finally flowed down his face, unstoppable. The feelings that Sherlock had pushed down, until it was too late, surfaced. Heavy sobs wracked his body. When it was over, the detective stood up and brushed his clothes off. He couldn't go back. With that thought, he packed his things and made his way to Serbia.

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But I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human and I crash and I break down

your words in my head

knives in my heart

you build me up and then I fall apart

cause I'm only human

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Hey guys, Johnlock feels caught up with me and I had to write it. It's three times Sherlock saw John while he was gone. This was just a quick one-shot. I love you all!