I've always wanted love. I guess I never really knew what it was and I guess I still don't. Life's just too complicated. I mean how exactly can I describe love? Is it a touch, a feeling, a look? Sitting here in this room tucked down in a corner, isn't my idea of love. I know I should be happy that I'm not being beaten or locked in a closet anymore, but I still long for more. I want truly what every kid my age in my situation wants…a family. A group of people to love me and hold me when I cry. Someone who I could really depend on to never leave me. I guess that will never happen, you see, I'm not a 'good' kid. I've got all sorts of emotional issues, I can't stand being in small places for too long, the darkness still scares me, and I'm twelve years old. You'd think my sunny disposition or my brains would help me out in this area, but I've been essentially deemed unadoptable, destined to forever be alone without parents. Locked alone in my world of poems and thoughts. A bleak existence for sure. Oh well, do I what I always do, push through and survive. :D
A slim woman in her early thirties walked into the room and frowned. Where was she? Then it dawned on her, of course…empty room, peaceful setting, she was on the floor journaling. For the last seven years it was the only thing that kept her sane. Slowly she walked toward the front of the room and smiled. Sure enough there she was journaling with her headphones on. She knelt down. "Autumn, it's time to go." Autumn looked up and took off her headphones. She gave a smile for Sammy her counselor who was sticking out her hand to help her up. Sammy loved Autumn, she was the nicest and most polite twelve year old she'd ever known. A real catch for any parent, problem was few parents were fishing for a twelve and a half year old girl. But if her plan worked right, that would all change very soon. Very very soon. She smiled slyly to herself. "Come on Autumn, we've got lots to do today." Autumn smiled at her sweetly. For the last few years, every Friday Sammy would take Autumn with her to do her errands and help out around the office. It wasn't the most fun adventure, but Autumn loved being away from the group home and spending quality time with someone. For Autumn, it was the closest thing to love that she'd ever get.
They were driving down the highway toward the office listening to show tunes. Autumn was happily sipping away on her Slurpee and bouncing to the radio. Sammy was over the moon that she could make Autumn happy with just the simplest things in life. Seriously, this girl was one special kid. It broke Sammy's heart that the only thing place she could help her in was these Friday trips. She rarely saw her during the week and if she did it was a report had been filed that she was bullied. Tough, thing about it is Autumn she never let it get her down. She still smiled, she was still bubbly, and she was still easy to love. Man, she hoped this would work. Autumn didn't deserve to live like this.
Soon they turned into the office building. Autumn's smile faded for just a moment and then she plastered her usual smile on her face. No matter how bad life was, when Sammy was around it was a good day. Nothing would stop her happiness. Sammy grabbed Autumn's hand and the walked into the building giggling. Autumn just made Sammy a better person by just being herself. It was truly inspirational. Autumn giggled happily as she started straightening up the desk up. Sammy couldn't help but smile, only Autumn would be thrilled to clean. Her phone started to ring. Ok, here's the plan going into action. "Autumn, I'm going to go and meet someone in the parking lot I'll be right back ok?" Autumn nodded and smiled happily before she went back to cleaning. Sammy took one last glance back at Autumn before heading out to the parking lot. She smiled when she saw the tall man with long black hair smiling at her. They shared a quick hug.
"Hey Sam."
"Hey Mark." Sammy couldn't help but to notice that he was visibly smaller than when he last saw her. It was like he was just giving up. "How you holdin' up?" Mark's smiled faded and was replaced by a look of indifference. He merely shrugged.
"Day by day." Sammy nodded, she couldn't fathom losing your spouse and your children all in one day. Mark shook his head, he'd never been one for pity. "So what made you call me after all these years? Last time I saw you, Trent was just a toddler." Sammy's heart broke when she noticed the cringe Mark held as he said his youngest son's name. Sammy tried to act like she hadn't noticed. She shrugged and gave a soft smile.
"Well, I've been busy. These kids give me a lot to do. Besides, I didn't want to bother you guys." Mark frowned, she was up to something and a bad liar. She always had been.
"Right." Sammy gave a look of hurt.
"Mark, you know that night things were said. I thought I was making it easier." Sammy wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to make all the pain go away. Mark wanted to kick himself. That night he'd been drunk and was a rocky time in his marriage. He'd made the mistake of releasing all of his anger onto her and their friendship was irreparably damaged. He honestly didn't remember anything from that night other than the blanks that other people had filled in for him. He put his large hand on her shoulder.
"You know I didn't mean that stuff I said, I was drunk and angry." Sammy moved his hand and shook her head.
"No, its fine. That's all in the past. I've forgiven you." Mark looked skeptical. "Would I have called you if I hadn't?" Mark nodded that did make sense. There was a long pause between them. "Mark, I sort of need a favor." Mark rolled his eyes, of course. He urged her with his eyes to continue. "Well, I know you and Allie were big time donators to the home and well…" she paused, this was harder than she had intended. Mark grabbed her hand.
"Sammy, it's ok. I know I owe you. How much do you need?" Sammy smiled, if it were only that easy.
"Well, you see I don't need any money." Mark's eyebrows rose. Sammy took a deep breath, she needed to get this out. "There's this little girl who needs a home and—" before she could finish Mark held up his hand and backed away violently shaking his head.
"No. Sammy are you nuts?" He was practically yelling. Autumn heard noises from the parking lot and took off her head phones. She could see Sammy and a tall man in the parking lot having a discussion or an argument of some sort. Her heart muscles started to restrict, should she help her? No Sammy could handle herself, but the biker guy looked scary. What should she do?
Sammy smiled, at Mark. "No, I'm not nuts. Mark it's been two years and you still haven't moved on. You need something or someone to help you out. This little girl needs someone too. It's a win win." Mark shook his head.
"Stay out of my business!" That scream almost shook the earth. "You call me after what? Six years? You didn't even talk to me at the funeral and you think you know how I'm doing. Please." Sammy was taken aback by Mark's furious outburst. Before she knew what was happening she had tears coming from her eyes. Mark grunted he'd forgotten how easily women could cry.
Meanwhile, Autumn was still standing watch from the window. Mark was so loud that she heard his outburst. She knew anger when she saw it. With all the gusto she had in her small body she grabbed a broom stick and rand down the steps, she just hoped she wasn't too late.
"Sammy, I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I didn't mean to scream at you. I just don't know anything about little girls. Alls I've ever had was boys." She heard him visibly sigh and then start grunting. It was like the wheels in his brain was turning.
"I guess I owe you two now, huh?" Sammy laughed a bit, he was always a fair man.
"Yeah, I guess you do." Mark sighed.
"What's her name?" Sammy smiled. Mark chuckled and stuck his finger in Sammy's face. Before he could get his words out Autumn came running out of the building swinging furiously. She got one good shot in catching the broom handle flush with Mark's shin before Sammy grabbed the broom handle. She was hoping Mark wouldn't change his mind now.
"Autumn, why'd you do that?" Autumn looked between the large man who was now glaring at her and rubbing his shin and Sammy. She lowered her head.
"I thought he was going to hurt you," she said with her head down just above a whisper. Sammy shook her head and pulled her close rubbing her back soothingly.
"No, Sweetie, Mark's an old friend, we were just talking. "
"Oh, I heard him yelling and I thought -" her head was still down and now she was feeling really dumb. "I'm sorry." Mark looked on at Sammy, at first he was furious when the kid had struck him with the broom, now he just felt sorry for her. She seemed so fragile. Sammy gently grabbed Autumn's shoulders and turned her to face Mark. "What do you say?" Autumn kept her head toward the pavement. Sammy sighed. "Come on pick your head up, we've practiced this. Go on." Slowly Autumn's head rose and she met Mark's green eyes.
"Sir, I'm sorry I hit you with the broom." Mark looked deep into the little girls eyes, they were sincere. He nodded. Sammy smiled, he didn't seem too upset.
"Autumn, why don't you go sit on the step for a minute? I need to talk to Mark for a few more minutes." Autumn nodded and walked away. She set the broomstick on the ground and rested her chin on her hands.
Sammy smiled as she watched Autumn drop down on the sidewalk. She'd be fine in a few minutes. Mark glanced at Sammy and then back at Autumn.
"It's her isn't it?" Sammy smiled with obvious guilt and nodded. Mark took a deep breath. "She's sure a beauty." Sammy's eyes narrowed. "She's going to be an enigma that's for sure." Sammy relaxed, she knew better, Mark was a good man.
"Thank you for doing this." Mark shrugged.
"Somehow I think it's what Allie would have wanted me to do. She always did love these kids." That was true, Allie was a big fan of foster kids. She used to volunteer with them several times a week. "Is there anything I should know about her?" Sammy held her breath, this was always the question that sent prospective parents running for the hills.
"Well, she doesn't talk much and gets scared easily, but other than that she's a normal kid." Sammy hated lying but this had to work. There was no more options. Mark nodded.
"So when shall I pick her up?" Sammy let out her breath, it had seemed like eternity for Mark's answer.
"Well, I've got some stuff to do here, but if you want you can take her to go and get her stuff and I'll be you back at your house." Mark rubbed his chin.
"Is she ok with that? I don't think the old shin can take another broomstick shot." Sammy and Mark both laughed.
"Stay here, I'll go and talk to her. " Mark nodded. As Sammy approached Autumn she saw the girl visibly flinch. Sammy groaned inwardly, she'd though that was over by now. She slowly sat down next to Autumn. She pulled her close. "Hey there."
"Hi," Autumn said shyly. Sammy took a deep breath.
"I think I've got you a family, if you want one." Autumn's head rose quickly.
"Really?" Sammy smiled.
"Yep, but it's only if you agree, ok?" Autumn nodded quickly. That's just what she had written in her journal before. She smiled and then frowned.
"Is this permanent or temporary?" Sammy closed her eyes tightly. This kid was just too smart. Autumn saw Sammy's reaction. "I don't wanna do temporary, I'd rather not get my hopes up." Sammy pulled her close, what could she say to that?
"How about we just see how things go?" Autumn gave a soft smile, she was only doing this for Sammy. Sammy grabbed Autumn's hand and led her back towards Mark. "Mark Callaway meet Autumn Lewis. Autumn, this is the guy you're going to be staying with." Autumn's breath caught in her chest. This man? Mark smiled down at the little girl and stuck out his hand.
"It's nice to meet you Autumn." She glanced at Sammy who smiled.
"Same," she said softly. Sammy took a deep breath, this would take some adjusting.
"Autumn, Mark here is going to take you to get your stuff from the group home and then I'm going to meet you at his place ok?" Autumn, trusted Sammy so she nodded ignoring that her mind was screaming at her to disagree. Mark and Sammy smiled at each other. Mark motioned for Autumn to follow and she glanced at Sammy who nodded. There's no turning back.
