Chapter One: Casey Smells Like Gordon's Butt

We first met the heroes of the story in a tiny little shithole apartment in South Williamsport. Nurgle was leaning over Larkin's bathtub with her head under the faucet.

"Lark-in!" Nurgle screamed, flailing her arms in the air. "Lark-in! LARKIN!"

"WHAT?!" Larkin screamed back. She was standing right beside Nurgle.

Nurgle stood up, smacking her head off the faucet in the process. "I don't think I want my hair to be blue anymore. I'm thinking more...yellow!"

Larkin stared blankly at her. "But you just put the dye in. It's too late."

Nurgle stomped her foot. "But I don't wanna! I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna!" She stomped several more times, then spun around and stormed into the living room, dripping a trail of blue hair dye behind her.

"You're making a mess!" Larkin shouted. "You're gonna have to pay for that!"

Nurgle shrugged and with a flick of her pointer finger sent a flame straight for the floor. Then she grabbed Larkin around the waist and flew upward, crashing through the roof and up into the sky. Larkin glanced down as Nurgle flew higher, watching her apartment burn. "Well, that takes care of that," she said.

"Exactly," agreed Nurgle.

Nurgle was still flying around aimlessly three hours later, her friend tucked safely under her arm, when she finally asked, "So where are you gonna live now, Larkin?"

Larkin stopped chewing on her hair and peered up at Nurgle. "It's your fault my home is gone. You should find me somewhere to live."

"You could live with me!" she suggested eagerly.

"You live in a doghouse in some old man's backyard. I don't think there's room for me."

Nurgle thought hard. After reaching up and flicking on the lightbulb above her head, she exclaimed, "I know! Let's buy a mansion! With all the money that we have and were saving up to buy every single ticket to the Jonas Brothers' next concert so nobody could go but us! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Larkin threw up her arms in excitement and smacked Nurgle in the face, causing Nurgle to drop her. The blue-haired supergirl in the red leather bodysuit swooped down elegantly and saved her friend from a terrible death-by-garbage-dumpster, then Larkin shouted, "That's a great idea! Who wants to go see a stupid manufactured brother band anyway?"

And with that, they immediately purchased a fifteen-story silo on a farm near the edge of town and believed it to be the most lavish mansion in Williamsport.