We need you alive
AN: So just recently gotten obsessed with this show, excuse any errors and show related misspellings. If you are aware of my work on Mea Culpa, you know to expect a high level of whump. Here goes my first published Stargate Atlantis work!
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis and any of its plots or characters. I write for entertainment and do not make profit off this work.
Warnings: slash (thats male/male pairings), abuse centric.
Pairings: Sheppard/McKay
START
It had been 36 hours since he had slept. Rodney McKay, Atlantis's resident genius and one of the few who knew the city so well was working on more repairs. The city was old. It was only natural that so much would need fixing or would just break. At first he had hated it. What use was a broken city? Still the city had grown on him. He felt like a father as his city showed more and more to him as he fixed her. When she had flourished and even flown, he felt immense pride. The city knew who would fix her and he would do anything for his city.
It had been a quick repair. The city had offered little resistance. So he made his way to his quarters to try catch some sleep before the next call. It was inevitable. His city and his friends needed him.
He winced as another headache showed itself. He pushed back the pain and continued. A sudden wave of dizziness hit and he balance himself against the wall.
"Dr McKay, are you okay?" he heard a marine ask.
"What?" he asked through the haze of pain. The tone lacked his usual sharp edge. Though he quickly recovered. He put on a neutral expression "Yes, just missed lunch. Just heading there after I get something from my room" he excused.
The marine paused but smiled back. "If your sure. We need you at your best. We may not say it but we are thankful you have saved us many times. Most of us just don't understand a lot of what you do." he said respectfully.
Rodney actually smiled back "Thanks." The military types often acted like he didn't belong here. They thought that since he didn't carry a gun and shoot bad guys, he wasn't useful. Of course he did shoot bad guys sometimes but not like the non science men of the base.
The dizziness had faded so he could now walk to his room. He found some migraine pills in his room and took them. He found some cold pills too. He could feel himself getting sick for a while. Just a cold. Nothing that would trump the time needed for his friends and city.
Of course he knew he was not in top condition. He barely slept on a normal schedule. Some days or weeks he was busy all the time. He ate when his team ate. It was almost like they were making sure he had time for food. Since they had learned of his conditions, they had taken to helping him. One would often find him when it was meal times and they would eat together. He didn't think it was all Shepards idea either. He would encourage it though. Everyone had been busy the past 3 days anyway. Rodney had simply forgotten, finding power bars when he felt dizzy. He wanted a hot meal but he was so tired. Sleep would have to come first.
He was almost asleep when he heard the radio spark to life. Instinct made him reach out for it. "Sheppard to McKay" he heard.
He pushed himself up, his vision blurred and he coughed loudly. The echoing sound didn't sound great. The migraine pain increased when he moved his chest forward with the coughs. Get a grip McKay!
"Rodney?" he heard over his radio again. John sounded worried.
"Sheppard." Rodney replied, willing his voice to stay strong.
"You had me worried. We have a problem with a generator" John reported.
"Can't Zelenka handle that?" Rodney complained.
"He said you might wanna take a look. He says its in section 3." John just replied, unfazed by his friends sharp tone.
"On my way" Rodney replied before gathering his equipment.
Rodney felt sick. Really sick. He might have freaked out but he had a job. Sheppard had asked him to.
He pulled himself to the edge of the bed. He was dizzy again and his stomach felt uneasy. He tried to focus on something else. A distraction from his current problems. His mind felt fuzzy but he got his breath back and could focus. He took the least populated route and started work on the power problem.
He didn't know how long later but he distantly heard his radio. He tried to reach for it but he felt heavy. Pain interrupted his thoughts and his mind was fuzzy. It was difficult to breath but he didn't seem to care. The one part of him that was panicking found his voice. "Shep...ed" he slurred in an attempt to contact the man. He knew he had to try. It had to be enough. He felt darkness claim him.
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Sheppard tried to calm down. It had been hours since Rodney had said he would fix the generator. His friend hadn't checked in yet. Maybe he had got so lost in his work he had forgotten. John had a bad feeling...
"McKay!" he called in his tone he often used in the field to keep his friend focussed.
"McKay!"
"Rodney!"
He swore softly. Turning to Elizabeth he said "I'm going to find him. Tell Carson to have a team ready" he ordered before leaving.
He found Rodney where he was fixing the generator.
He leaned down to check his fallen friend. Rodney looked sick. He was pale and seemed in pain. John could feel a fever too. He could barely breath and to his horror, John found splatters of blood on his friends palm. More blood wiped on his uniform. He wasn't responding to John's attempt to wake him.
How long had he been so sick?
Recovering slightly he spoke into his com "Carson come quick. His sick.".
Carson had attempted to ask for more information but Shepard tuned him out. He took Rodney's hand and muttered comforts. He ran a hand through his friends sweat soaked hair. The action seemed to sooth his friend.
It wasn't until he felt Carson's hand on his shoulder that he noticed the other man. "Come on lad" Carson said gently.
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Shepard woke again in the infirmary. Carson noticed and went over immeaditly.
"Feeling better?" he asked.
John nodded. "Hows Rodney?" he asked urgently.
Carson paused. "He will be okay. You found him in time. He had a cold but he didn't treat it so it became pneumonia. His blood sugar was dangerously low. I don't think his been eating much this last few days. He told me before he hadn't slept for 36 hours either. I told him to get some sleep after his current task. He seems to be responding to medication." he explained.
"He looked so sick." John said. Since Rodney saw Carson for even the smallest of things, none of his team had seen him sick. Shot maybe but that was usually fixed.
"Aye and he was. He should have come straight to me!" Carson replied sharply.
"I asked him to fix the power. I didn't think..."John trailed off.
Carson softened at the guilt. "It not your fault. He works hard for us. Sometimes people forget his human. A genius but a human." he said softly.
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John was cleared for duty. As soon as he could he was at Rodney's bedside. The scientist was asleep but he was looking better. He was less pale for one. Thanks to the medication he could breath properly and was in less pain. The blood had been cleaned off him. His fever had significantly dropped. John was glad for that. The stubborn man would make it.
Still Shepard felt guilty. If he hadn't asked Rodney to work, the scientist would be sleeping. Of course he was going to get sick anyway. At least this way someone had been around to help him.
He took the sleeping mans hand in his own. "Rodney buddy, you need to get better. You scared me. I don't know what I'd do" he said quietly. He was alone so no one could hear him but he still felt nervous. He cared for Rodney more than a friend should. If the military found out he could get in trouble. Besides Rodney had been dating women on Atlantis.
John started to feel tired himself but refused to move. When McKay woke, it would be to his face. Soon he was asleep, his head resting on the blankets before him. Unknown to him Carson had seen them. The doctor smiled at the pair. He remembered when Rodney had confessed to him.
Flashback:
Rodney was figiting more than usual. Even the smallest task was next to impossible for Carson. "Now now, whats on your mind?" he asked gently. He hoped Rodney would be suitably distracted.
The scientist had looked up surprised. "I don't know if I can tell." he had said hesitantly.
Carson frowned.
Finally McKay spoke. "I think I love him. I want something but I know its out of reach. I'd ruin his career. Not that he is gay. Or that anyone could like me..."he said in a depressed tone.
Carson had caught on. Without stopping bandaging, he just smiled back. "Thats not true! I'm sure someone likes you. For what its worth, I don't think Sheppard would care either. Even if he is straight." he had said casually.
End flashback
Carson was sure that John loved him back. He saw the concern when his friend got hurt. He saw the looks across the room when he thought no one was looking. He saw the smile that was saved just for his friend. The truly relaxed smile that said he trusted Rodney above all.
He grabbed a blanket and out it over Shepard before leaving them. It was sweet.
The gesture didn't wake the pair. John shifted in his sleep but otherwise didn't react. Rodney must have felt it because he smiled contently.
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Rodney work that next morning feeling better than before. He could breath much easier! His migraine was a now a dull ache. The fuzziness had also faded. He still felt sick but not nearly as much as before.
He looked down and froze. What was John doing there? Why hadn't he returned to his room? John remained asleep on Rodney's leg still holding tight to his hand.
"He was terribly worried." Carson said.
Rodney just looked away.
"He wouldn't leave you." Carson spoke again.
Rodney still hadn't even looked at him.
"Whats on your mind?" asked Carson softly. It was unusual behaviour.
It seemed at first that Rodney would refuse to speak but to Carson's relief he spoke. "Don't give me false hope. I know that he can never feel that way. I don't wanna even think that this means anything other than friendship." his spoke, his voice cracking as he spoke angrily.
The doctor just sighed. He was worried that this would hurt McKay more. McKay was prone to depression and anxiety as well as many others. He would speak to McKay's team. Just to be sure.
"Fine. How are you feeling?" Carson said professionally.
Rodney brightened up. "Much better. Migraine is almost gone and I can breath again. Still abit fuzzy and nauseous." he said softly.
Carson was relieved to hear that. He had been worried when he first saw Rodney on the floor but he was responding well to treatment. "That would be the fever. Its much lower now. Hopefully by tomorrow the fever will break. Let me know if you feel like throwing up or if the pain returns. When you get better though, I need to speak to you."
Rodney looked pleased. "So I'll be out soon?" he pleaded.
Carson had to laugh. "If all goes well a week at most."
At this point Sheppard woke. He froze when he realised his position. Even more confusing was the fact his friend had not moved his hand even though he could hear him speaking. Carson left, hoping the boys would sort out their feelings sooner rather than later.
Rodney smiled at his friends bed hair and confusion. It was almost cute. No it was cute.
"McKay you alright?" he heard in a worried tone.
He then realised that he had been staring like a school girl. "Just thinking" he excused.
Clearly John had seen the lie but didn't press him. Still that content smile was cute he thought. He hoped he could be the one to put it there but knew better. Rodney dated girls and always made a point to comment on girls. Even voicing a desire to be kidnapped by a hot alien girl once.
"You look better. Feel better?" he asked hoping the guilt didn't show.
"Yeah much. Carson says I might be out in a week if I keep improving." he replied easily. He had heard the extreme worry. More than just a team member or friend. Guilt too. That concerned him. Guilt over what? Rodney had done this too himself.
Teyla and Ronon choose to join them at that point. "Elizabeth wanted to see you. She was worried when you were not in your room this morning but I told her you might be here." Teyla spoke.
Ronon grinned. He saw that John and Rodney loved each other. It wasn't that hard to spot. Not that they would admit that. "Clearly you slept here then." he added.
Shepard just nodded. "I'll see her in a bit."
"I see you are keeping Rodney company. I'm sure she will wait." Teyla spoke. She saw the way John firmly held Rodney's hand. She read his protective posture. It was clear to all of Atlantis that they were in love. They were perfect for each other. Rodney didn't even attempt to break the hold on his hand. Both still looked regretful.
Rodney allowed himself to be happy in that moment. He was with his team. John was making him feel safe. It was perfect. Life didn't throw many perfect moments his way so he allowed himself to relax.
Before John realised his feelings toward him and sent him back to earth.
AN: As usual read and review.
