City of Shadows – Chapter 1: Shadow of Regret

A/N: So after reading the last book in the Mortal Instruments series, City of Heavenly Fire, I didn't want to leave the world of Clary, Jace and the others. So here is the unofficial seventh book of the Mortal Instruments. All characters belong to Cassandra Clare. It may be slightly AU, but it mostly just carries on from the last book... Enjoy!

Clary still had nightmares about what had happened in Edom. She could see the light going out in Sebastian's eyes as the Heavenly Fire coursed through his veins. He had finally become the brother she had always wanted; Jonathan. She didn't tell anyone, not even Jace, that she wept over him. Not Sebastian but Jonathan, the son her mother lost to Valentine's experiments. She thought that everything would be fine after her parent's wedding, but she still felt unease in the air. So many had been lost in the wars, Jordan included.

It had been three months since the wedding and Simon's memory was still not perfect. It broke her heart every time he forgot their favourite song, or her favourite comic book or how she liked her coffee (that one really got to her). She pushed open the door to Java Jones, letting the smell of roasting coffee beans swim in the air around her. Simon was sat in the far corner and as she looked at him she noticed yet again the increased broadness of his shoulders and bulk of his chest. She wasn't the gawky teenage Simon anymore. He wasn't really her Simon at all. She remembered how she wept for days, refusing all food, after they had returned to Idris without him.

Clary had her regrets. She regretted letting Simon go instead of Magnus. She regretted being selfish about it; she would let Magnus crumble to ash if it meant she had the old Simon. Sometimes, on very dark days, she would have regrets about ever going to Pandemonium that night, about throwing herself into the Shadowhunter world. She would always chastise herself for these thoughts. Even if she hadn't met Jace, Valentine would still have come for her. She would probably be dead. Jace had rescued her, from death and now everyday from the shadows of regret.

She moved swiftly between the tables towards Simon. He raised his head as she approached and slid a coffee cup toward her. She sat and took a sip cautiously, "My favourite. How'd you know?" A spark of hope made its way into her chest. "You've ordered it the last five times we came here, I just assumed..." She smiled at him but she couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment. That's what you get when you get your hopes up, Clary. She should have known by now that things never had that simple a solution. Clary decided to move on the conversation so they weren't just staring at each other awkwardly. "So how did your session go today?" Simon had been visiting Magnus once or twice a week to see if Magnus could reverse the loss of memory. His logic was that he could undo whatever his father had caused. At least he could try. Clary couldn't help but feel as if she had lost her best friend in a tragic road accident. But he wasn't dead, he was right in front of her. "Yeah, it's going really well. I can remember that time when you cannon-balled onto my head. I think we were nine?" Clary shook her head, "We were seven." It was progress.

Simon piped up suddenly, "Clary, I need to ask you something and you can't say no." Clary raised an eyebrow, "That doesn't really leave any room for argument, does it?" Simon laughed gently at this and Clary looked where his fangs used to be. "That's the point, Fray." Clary flinched internally, it just didn't sound right when he said it anymore. "I need you to come to the Institute with me tomorrow. I'm seeing Izzy now, she'll be there of course. It's important, I'm going to Ascend." The last word hung in the air for a moment. Clary's eyes widened, "Oh, wow! Of course I'll be there, why wouldn't I be?" Clary smiled into her coffee cup, but inside there was mixed emotions. She felt as if Simon had been given a second chance at a mundane life, but they had all taken it from him for their own selfish reasons. On the other hand, she couldn't wait for Simon to train with her, study with her. It would almost feel like they were normal again. Almost.

Izzy was expecting Simon to come over so she woke up early to get ready. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her face was reasonably made up and the red dress that she was wearing displayed her curves perfectly. Simon wasn't going to know what hit him. The bell of the Institute's doors chimed dramatically and Isabelle almost sprinted down the stairs. Simon's Ascension was so close she could feel the excitement bubbling up inside her. She opened up the door and beamed at the quirky and slightly dishevelled boy standing on the doorstep of the Institute. She physically saw his jaw drop. Simon was always a self esteem boost. "Hey, come in." Izzy didn't know why she said it as if it were the first time. It wasn't, not by a long shot. They had been dating for months now and her parents no longer cared whether her door was open or closed. So of course she took advantage. "Hi." He said plainly. He looked like he was five years old and been accidentally locked in a candy store. This was no accident. She said no more, just led him up to her bedroom closing the door behind them. On a normal day, their lips would already be locked in passionate embrace, but Izzy could see that something was troubling him. "Are you nervous? I would be..." Simon nodded gently, sitting on the bed in the same manner. "I just hate the fact that I have to leave Mom and Becky behind, it's like they're dead. I don't expect you to get it, I mean you were born a Shadowhunter, so was your whole family." As he was speaking Izzy diverted his attention to the picture of her, Alec and Max, all of them smiling. Simon followed her gaze and as he did so his eyes widened. "Izzy... I completely forgot... I didn't mean to..." He was hugging her now, his arms enclosing her in a protective shell as she sobbed into her shoulder. He smelled of coffee and cinnamon. She hadn't cried like this in weeks, it felt good, but at the same time brought back memories. Killing Sebastian would never bring Max back or anyone else for that matter.

She drew back from Simon once she had stopped crying and they stared into each other's eyes for a few moments, relishing in the silence. He broke it with a kiss. He didn't kiss like the old Simon; he was getting there, but right now it just wasn't the same. The old Simon would kiss her like he was teasing, sampling her for what was to come. His kisses were both gentle and playful; they sent shivers up her spine. The 'new' Simon's kisses were almost desperate, as if he was clinging on to the very memory of her. There was passion, but it felt like he was trying to use it up as fast as he could manage. They both laid together on the bed, Simon's arm around her shoulder and her face nuzzled into his chest. She hadn't realised how chiselled he was becoming. She looked up at him after a while, scared to speak her mind. One hand was balling the bed linen into a fist. "I don't want you to be a Shadowhunter."