"Sweetheart, come to bed," I called to my husband of four years as he stood staring at the mirror, hands perched on the corners of the sink in the master bathroom of our apartment. "Ken?"
"Yeah, hon, I'm coming," he said softly, dropping his head and sighing. He stepped into our bedroom and slid into bed in only his boxers, gently taking my book out of my hands and placing it on his nightstand. I smiled down at him and pushed his dirty blonde hair back, delicately placing a kiss on his forehead. He moved closer to me and rested his head on my thigh, taking my hand in his and rubbing his thumb over the back of mine.
"Alright, what's up with you?" I asked skeptically. "You're not acting like yourself."
"I'm...worried," he confessed, turning his body so he was now looking up at me. "I'm scared of the future, Sky."
I gently cupped his face in my petite hands, thumbs delicately running over his cheekbones. "Talk to me, baby."
"I just can't shake this feeling that I'm incapable of love. I mean, I know that I love you more than anything, don't get me wrong. But I'm scared of trust. No, that makes it seem like I don't trust you. Ugh I-"
"Kendall." I cut him off and made sure he was looking directly into my eyes before continuing. "I understand what you mean. Don't overthink, just talk."
"Thank you, Skylynn," he said softly, closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath. "I've been hurt a lot. You've been hurt a lot. And...I remember when I had given up on love. Completely. But then we met and I couldn't resist, I gave myself up to you. I'm really happy that I did, but I'm scared, Sky. I'm scared."
As he continued to talk, I left one hand on his face to soothe him, letting the other drop to his sewn up heart tattoo on his bicep, tracing the lines as he talked. It brought a little bit of comfort to us both, knowing that the other one was there.
"...and I don't want to mess this up," Kendall continued. "I love you more than anything and I'm so scared I'll do something and you'll leave. And then I'll really be alone because there's no one else in this world for me. I'm so worried about falling into that miserable dark void again and not being able to escape. I want to be the best man I can be for you. I want to give you the world."
He sat up next to me and pulled me into his body, placing one of his large hands on my belly. "Sky, I...Sometimes I just lie in bed at night watching your stomach rise and fall as you sleep and all I can think about is how there's a little person in there. Someone we made out of love and passion and hopes for the future. I want to be a good father. You both deserve to have the most love and comfort and protection I can possibly give you."
"You're already giving us that," I said softly, resting my head on his shoulder. "And I know you'll continue to. Never doubt that, my love."
"I love you, Skylynn," Kendall whispered, turning to place a kiss on the top of my head.
"I love you too, handsome," I smiled up at him. "And I always will."
We continued to talk well into the night, even as the first rays of light breached the curtains hanging on our bedroom window. The two of us sat facing one another, holding hands and divulging our greatest worries and fears, completely opening our hearts to eachother. All seven years I had been with him I knew I loved him. But that night, a thought that had been sitting in the back of my mind made itself known.
There was no man in the world greater than the one who lived in my heart.
