Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom hearts, it's the property of square Enix and Disney. No money has or will exchange hands as this story was purely written for entertainment value. Original characters, worlds and storylines do belong to me.
Author note: I didn't intent for this to turn out like it did at all, the direction it took kind of happened naturally. I've also never written something in this tense so it's different from my normal work. If you're not a fan of Sora/Riku/Kairi then you can might be able to ignore some of the intention behind this, or click the back button.
The Beach at the End of the World
By Arami Heartilly
"In my dreams I see the Islands destroyed over and over again. It's not the same as before, we're older, it's happening now." Kairi sighs, she's looking at the young man in front of her. "It's not your fault this time, it never really was… but every time it comes you're never here."
He only looks at her, doesn't move, doesn't speak. Wouldn't know what to say anyway.
"It's not right and it's not fair. The disaster comes and me and Sora are stood here waiting, the ship is here for us but you've always disappeared… you never come. We don't always board it, sometimes we wait on the beach for you and let the end come. But it doesn't matter how warm Sora's hand is in mine, doesn't matter how strong and firm his arms are as he holds me whilst the land falls away or the waves crash down…. It's never enough Riku." The last part slips out in a whisper and she finds that she can't face him, doesn't want to look up and see an empty beach.
"It's just a dream." He tells her gently, almost chiding her but Kairi's had enough of this from him, always falling back, always acting as though he doesn't think he's really wanted, always looking to run away at the nearest opportunity.
"No, I really don't think it is." She sighs and runs her hands through her hair. "It's almost the same as it was at the Castle." She doesn't need to say which one, he knows exactly what she means. "You thought we were some how better off without you, you think you're full of so much darkness that you refuse to let us anywhere near you."
"Come on Kairi, we see each other all the time." He's trying his best to make light of it but all it does is upset her further. They don't see each other in the way they used to, he always makes excuses to leave early or more recently cancels at short notice.
"Is there anything more to tell us? have you left anything out?"
"You know everything."
"Then why won't you let us in?"
Kairi meets his eyes and she see's the way he's trying to hide things from her, putting up all the walls he can manage.
"Why do you find the idea of being with us so hard to accept?" Kairi asks him. Her eyes are wide and honest, violet in the light and it hurts to look. It hurts in ways he can't seem to fully understand.
"I don't." She tips her head to the left, studying him and wondering how it can hurt so much. She understands now why Sora had chosen not to come with her. He didn't want to face up to it anymore than Riku did.
"Then what?"
Once again he chose not to say anything. The wind blows past them every now and again and the waves make their way towards them, lapping at the sand in their way.
"Every time it seems to hurt worst than the last. My throat dries up and it hurts here, like someone is pressing from the inside out, never easing and I can't breathe, I can't relax…. I can't even cry because I can't reason with it." She can feel it building again and her right hand had balled into a fist over her heart. "I remember how it felt when I lost my heart, I remember the darkness that swept over everything." He's stepped towards her and it's obvious he's trying to work out what to do. "I watched Sora when the worlds separated and I cried here on this beach wondering when he'd return, but knowing - always knowing he would never come home without you."
"Kairi…"
She shakes her head, she doesn't want him to interrupt this. "I can't keep doing his Riku, you can't keep running away. I don't know how to explain what it feels like any better than I have but to be abandoned by you crushes everything inside of me in a way I… I… I thought I knew what heartache felt like, sat in that cell Saix locked me in but this actually aches - like there's something really wrong with my heart." She pauses and he wonders how close to crying she is, the idea that she's already past that point doesn't occur to him. "Are you afraid to stay with us? Are you waiting for us to turn around and push you away? Or can you just not stand to be around us?"
"Kairi…"
"I can't stand the thought of loosing you and seeing you do that every night and knowing that one day you really might get up and leave us…. I would do anything to have you stay with me - with us. I love you more than anything else, you and Sora are everything to me so why you'd be so eager to leave those who need you... the only thing I can imagine is you don't want me." This was why Sora had chosen to stay at home, this feeling was the same as the ones that haunted her dreams. Realising that a person you love can't accept you enough to be with you and hoping against hope that you're wrong all at the same time.
"How could you think I don't love you?" He says finally, eyes to the sand and hands in his pockets. He's talking quietly but Kairi hears every word.
She's holding herself back from slapping him all the way across the face. When they were smaller everything was so much simpler. Kairi had no way of knowing that the love you feel for a friend was just as strong as that for a lover…. or maybe it wasn't. Maybe the three of them were the exception.
"Does it really?" Hurt that much? The look on her face is enough to make him stop mid sentence. Her hand is still clenched against her chest and he knows she may as well be bleeding with the pressure she's applying. "But you two belong with each other." He's getting more and more confused by all of this, he had no idea. He's reaching out his arm and placing it on her shoulder but the too light touch makes Kairi bite her lip so hard he wonders if she'll break the skin.
"Not without you." She sounds so forlorn, so empty that he feels his heart start to break. "It's never been right without you too."
His eyes are wide in shock and for a second he can't decide what to do, the realisation of the pain he's caused is almost too much for him and he almost falters, almost. He's sure if he had come to this by himself he would have chosen a different response.
Then, as his mind finally starts to clear and everything falls into place he places his other hand on her other shoulder before sliding his arms around her and pulling her tight against him. He doesn't notice how she trips in the sand with the unexpected movement, she wouldn't have fallen very far if she had anyway.
"Of course I love you!" He tells her, speaking into her hair because it's a better alternative than releasing her which he doesn't think he could do at the moment. "That's why I… I didn't realise Kairi, I didn't know… I honestly thought you hadn't noticed." She shakes her head against his chest and wriggles her arms free so that she can wrap them around him in turn. "I just wanted to give you some space, some time together." He sighs. "You're right about me though… I'm never going to think I'm good enough to be around either of you, even if you forgive me I don't know if I can every completely forgive myself." They're still for a while, just holding each other, Kairi finally able to relax and feel her heart settle and Riku feeling as though another of the many weights he feels upon him lifting. "Kairi." He loosens his hold just a little so he can look at her, he wants to know she's alright.
She shifts again but looks up at him, eyes showing signs of recovery and some of the light he's so used to seeing has returned.
"I love you and Sora more than anything in all the worlds, I have to live knowing what I put you both through…" She was scowling, she didn't like the way he took all of the blame upon himself all the time. "I don't understand…. but I'm here and I promise you I'm not going anywhere without you." He meant them collectively and Kairi knew without having to ask.
She could tell he was terrified, most likely of hurting them but Kairi was certain the message had gotten through, no matter what his feeling on the matter were he could only truly hurt her if he left or disappeared.
The waves had finally reached them, soaking Kairi's pink canvas shoes with ease and seeping slowly into Riku's trainers.
"We should go." he tells her, releasing her but still standing close, not bothering to move from the near inch of water they're standing in.
She nods slowly, brushing red hair behind her ear again before reaching out and taking his hand, winding her fingers securely through his like she's not quite ready to let go of him until she's certain.
Riku wants to tell her that he's not sure she should be doing that but he doesn't, they all used to do it all the time as children. Before boys became self conscious and refused to hold another hand… or maybe that had just been him.
They walk slowly to the small dock and their boats, noticing as they approach a familiar figure sat on the end of the dock, legs crossed and looking at them as they get closer. Riku tries to release his hand from Kairi's like he thinks he' supposed to but she holds on tighter turning her head and smiling up at him, letting him know this is okay.
Sora stands and brushes crumbs from his pants that were never there in the first place and his smile is almost beaming as they approach him. He's glad he decided to come after all but knowing all the same that Kairi was better at reaching Riku when it came to this. Sora would have, most likely broken down into floods of uncontrollable tears and made everything worse. Kairi was better at knowing what to say and how to say it, when she eventually talked herself up to it.
Kairi finally lets go of Riku's hand when Sora is right in front of them with just enough time for a slightly more enthusiastic than necessary hug. Shock falls over Riku's face for just a moment before he places his arms around the other boys shoulder and holds him almost as tightly as he held Kairi. He can't seem to breathe though… Sora is crushing his lungs with the full force of the hug but he can bare it for now.
"I love you too Sora." Riku finally tells him and feels the arms loosen and breath return to his lungs. The other boy looks as though he's on the verge of tears for a moment but blinks hard and when he opens his eyes he smiles.
They make their way into the boats, Kairi in hers and Sora sharing his with Riku. The ride to the main land is short and quiet, none of them can think of anything to say.
There is an awkward moment when they reach the other side and tie up their boats. None are sure what they should do next or where to go. Kairi decides to reach out her hands to both boys, knowing that Riku isn't quite comfortable enough to hold Sora's hand instead of her own.
"My house is empty for the weekend." She tells them both. Riku smiles at her, not overtly just small enough that she can see it.
"Sleepover?" Sora asks, swinging his and Kairi's arms in the air and the three of them start walking up towards the town.
She nods and they both, somewhat awkwardly given they're walking, look to Riku for his answer.
"Alright, but Sora's not allowed to pick the movies." Kairi smiles and Sora scowls at the comment. Riku laughing most of the way to Kairi's house at the expression on each of their faces.
Later, when his two best friends were asleep on each side of him, blankets and cushions piled up underneath them and a large duvet draped over them, Riku couldn't help but wonder what exactly Kairi had meant earlier. How deeply did she and Sora want him involved in their relationship?
As if giving him a clue he felt an arm make it's way across his chest as Kairi pulled herself towards him and snuggled against his chest. He couldn't quite make himself remove the arm or push Sora away when he started to nuzzle his shoulder. In fact all he really managed was to put his arms around them both and settle down to a peaceful slumber.
On a beach three figures sat. Two boys with brown and silver hair and a girl with red hair shining in the sunlight. They were waiting for the end of the world sat hand in hand along the sandy shore and despite the disaster they faced they'd never felt so content or so at peace.
Fin
As always reviews and constructive criticism are welcome, especially considering this is a pretty new thing for me to write. Thank you!
