Author's Note: Hi, readers! For those that have dutifully liked my other stories and reviewed and are following me as an author. Thank you so much! I appreciate the time that you took to do all of that. I'm sorry I've pretty much been MIA for the past couple years but a lot has changed in my life. I'm ready to dive back into the world of fanfiction starting with this new story! I want to start fresh, hopefully you guys do too. I hope you enjoy this!
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.
Chapter 1
"You're leaving and that's final. The decision has been made." Tears gushed out of my eyes as I looked up to him. He could NOT do this to me! I raced after him, grabbing onto his forearm like my life depended on it, which, in this case, it did.
"Edward! Please! Just, let me stay, please! I love you!" I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his, furiously. The tears made our kiss salty; I was giving him everything with this kiss. He gently pried me off of him and shook his head. I slumped against my office door as he walked away. Just before he left the hallway I called out to him one more time. His head snapped back at the desperation in my voice. For a millisecond, his eyes showed pain and guilt.
"Edward, if I leave, I-I-I'll be forced to marry." His green eyes blazed as he rushed back in front of me. He growled, "Who? Who will it be?" His hands came to grip my biceps, now it was he who was holding on to me as if his life depended on it.
I looked down to take a moment and looked back up. Whispering softly, I said,
"Jacob. Jacob Black…" He huffed in a fury and tugged his gorgeous bronze hair.
"The son of Billy?" His voice was calm, a deadly calm. It was the calm before the storm. I nodded. He cried out in anger, more than I've ever seen from him and punched the wall next to me. He literally punched a hole in the wall! My wide eyes looked at him in astonishment. His breathing was ragged, uncontrolled. He's never been like this before.
"Edward, I— " He cut me off with his lips. His hands roamed my body and now he was giving me everything with this kiss. His passion, sadness, anger, guilt, love. Everything. When we broke apart, he looked…determined. That's never a good thing.
He sighed, looked straight ahead and said "You're still going." My body went limp with shock, if he wasn't already holding me, then I would have fallen to the ground.
"What?! You're—I—him—what?!" Even though he knew I'd be forced to marry the son of his mortal enemy, he was STILL sending me away?! What is he playing at? What is he trying to accomplish with this? If it's my supposed safety he's worried about, he's got another thing coming.
"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen you are NOT sending me away! You can't do this! I refuse to leave you!" I poked at his chest with my outburst. Confusion and rejection bubbling through me like a small water fountain. He didn't want me with him. Why didn't he want me here? He gazed down into my watery eyes coldly. The warm green I came to know this past year was now an icy emerald.
"Isabella, you have no say in this. You are simply a pawn." He detached my hands from his body and…let go. I felt unwanted and rejected. He called me a pawn. Something that was easily disposable. I couldn't believe any of this was happening. Edward was sending me back to work for Billy Black, a man who appears to be an astute businessman but is secretly a dangerous crime boss. My Edward, my knight in shining armor, was sending me back to work for the man that so brutally murdered his father. I lay still on the ground for the next hour with my heart too heavy and a gigantic lump in my throat. The tears that had so easily escaped before were jammed somewhere, building up but not coming out. All of the wonderful memories from the past year flashed through my mind. Edward, Alice, Angela, Emmett, Jasper, even Rosalie. All those people that I would never see again because of this stupid decision that Edward decided to make, this was torture. Why would he do this? My head throbbed from thinking. After some time, I felt gentle hands lifting me up and drying my tears. Seeing a flash of black hair and worried blue eyes, I knew it was Alice. She gave me a small smile and helped me up.
"It'll be okay, Bella. My dumb brother will come to his senses, you'll see!" I appreciated her attempt to comfort me but right now the only thing that I wanted was Edward's arms around me. I wanted Edward here to tell me that he would never, could never let me go. Sadly, that wasn't going to happen. Alice took me back to my apartment in silence. It was like she sensed that no one could reach me right now. I was in an abyss. Unreachable. All alone.
Over the next couple days, I moved around robotically. Alice and Rosalie visited frequently to help me pack. My apartment was filled with all of my colorful things. Pottery and paintings, from when I thought I was an artist; pictures, from when I thought I was a photographer; music sheets and a rusty guitar from when I thought I was a musician; and, finally, books. Tons of books. I loved to read and Edward knew that. He had bought me about half of the books that I have here with me. There were notes on the inside cover of each of them in his perfect script. They were quotes from his favorite section of the book. From Wuthering Heights, he wrote,
"Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I can not find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I can not live without my life! I can not live without my soul!"
I clutched it close to my heart. This was the only evidence I had that he cared for me. He may not have loved me but he sure cared for me. When Alice and Rose found me standing in the middle of my room with the book pressed against my chest, they were at a loss for what to do. Slowly, cautiously, I released the book and let them look at it. Both of their faces immediately softened as they read the words he had written to me, for me.
"Oh, Bella, sweetie." Rose, usually cold and hard on the outside, dabbed at the tears in her eyes as she came to embrace me. Alice, on the other hand, looked calculating. Her face then changed to show her anger.
"He is being such an idiot! Bella, I'm going to go talk to him right now and make him get it through his thick ass skull that he does love you and he can't just send you into the wolf's den! After what happened to dad, I can't imagine that he would want to leave anybody he cares about in the hands of that—of that monster!" Alice squealed in agony as she stomped around my room. I gave her a watery smile and shook my head.
"Alice, it's no use. Once he's made up his mind, it's done. He doesn't want me here and you know I have no choice but to go back. Billy, he's a dangerous man, Alice. He'll find me one way or another." I swallowed the lump in my throat as I continued. It was becoming harder and harder to speak about this. "Billy wants me to marry Jacob and the only living person on earth that can stop that is your brother, but I guess he just doesn't want me in that way. I guess— "
"What do you mean he doesn't want you in that way? Are you freaking kidding me right now with that bullshit, Bella?! Remember how he asked you out the first time? He spent the entire night sobbing in my room because you said no! My brother NEVER cries! That was the first time he cried in years, Bella, years! Remember your first date, when he took you to the top of the mountain? He spent the entire week prior to that going over every single immaculate detail with me! I had to listen non-stop about what you guys were going to do on that date! He was so excited and nervous the night before and he just never stopped talking. My entire life, my big brother has never talked so much! He's always been more reserved than that but nothing could stop him from going on and on about you that day! So don't you dare sit there and tell me that my brother doesn't want you in that way because whether his dumb ass knows it or not, he does!" She let out a huge breath after finishing her rant. She stared at me with her big, crazy blue eyes. Rose smiled and told me she agreed with Alice. I sighed and glared at the floor.
Later on at work, Emmett and Jasper came to my office often to try to make me laugh with their antics and silly pranks. I could only give them a half-hearted smile and shrug. Edward never once looked at me or touched me. Every time I tried to talk to him, he would find some excuse to walk away. Therefore, I found myself alone and sobbing in my office at least twice every day. Angela had baked me a cake to try to get me cheer up even a little. What do you do when the love of your life wants you to marry someone else? And that someone else's father has threatened to make you disappear somewhere where no one can find you unless you marry that someone? I just didn't know what to do.
I stared outside my window with a warm cup of green tea in my hands. Maybe this is all just a dream and tomorrow I'm going to wake up back in the normal world where Edward will knock on my door and, as soon as I open it, he'll kiss me with so much love until I forget my own name. I take a sip of my tea and wish that I could take back all of the events of these past two weeks; starting with Edward telling me that he was sending me back. A quiet knock on the door interrupted me from my thoughts. I had told everyone that I just wanted to be left alone tonight; they could come visit me tomorrow morning for a goodbye. Tonight I wanted to be left alone with my thoughts. Opening the door, I huffed in frustration,
"Alice I thought I said—Oh, Edward! What are you doing here?" My knight in shining armor stood in front of me with his hands in his pockets and his head bowed down as if he were ashamed. His bronze locks were all over the place and just a little bit wet from the light drizzle that had started outside.
"May I come in?" He spoke so softly that I barely heard it but, stunned, I nodded and waved my arms forward for him to come inside. He stepped cautiously around me and took off his wet shoes and jacket. I motioned for him to sit on the couch while I hung up his jacket. I walked back and carefully sat down next to him. The hurt from these weeks was still there but more prominent than that was the hope. The hope that he was here to beg my forgiveness and that he wanted me to stay with him. He groaned and put his hands on his knees and his head in his hands. He kept running his hands through his hair, a nervous habit. I didn't say a word, waiting for him to make the first move. I'm not quite sure how long we remained like that until he spoke.
"Isabella, I'm not here to ask you to stay." His harsh words cut through my hope without any mercy. Tears welled up in my eyes and I looked away. I could not let him see my tears. When I spoke, I couldn't stop the shaking in my voice.
"Then why are you here, Edward? Please, just leave me alone." I folded my arms around my chest, attempting to hold myself together for just a little bit longer.
"I don't know." There it was, the typical guy response. He just "didn't know." I'm not sure if I should laugh or slap him at the moment. I glared at him, the sadness being pushed down by the anger threatening to consume me.
"You don't know? Seriously, Edward?! I can't even begin to understand what is going through your head right now? You are giving me mixed signals and I honestly wish I could walk away and never look back but that's not an option for me and you know it! You say you care for me, you cherish me but now you're sending me off to marry Jacob Black like a piece of property?!" He flinched at my words and my voice grew more and more hysterical as I went on. "You ignore me for the past two weeks! Two weeks, Edward! That's a long ass time to not talk to someone that you supposedly care about. You didn't even give a second glance to any attempt I made to talk to you and now you come here and expect me to listen? Right now, more than ever, I hate you Edward Cullen!" By this time, I've stood up and started pacing back and forth. I threw my mug at the wall and screamed in sadness and fury as it crashed against the wall. With my hands twisting in my hair, I just kept screaming as I fell to my knees. Edward hadn't said a word through my rant but now he stood up and kneeled to be able to look into my eyes. His eyes were the warm green again. He reached up and brushed my tears away. I didn't even realize I had started to cry. My shouting had stopped but the silent tears just kept coming. He took me into his arms and rubbed up and down on my back. For the first time in two weeks, I felt soothed. I felt like I could see a small light in the darkness of my abyss.
After my crying had subsided, he picked me up and took us back to the couch. Instead of me sitting beside him, this time he placed me right on his lap. I put my arms around him as he nuzzled his face into my neck, breathing my scent in.
"Bella, do you trust me?" He peered up at me, resting his chin on my shoulder. I leaned in so that our lips were only an inch apart and whispered yes. His eyes darkened with some emotion as he closed the gap between us. When our lips touched, everything exploded. All of the hurt and pain we put into this kiss and we held onto each other so tightly because we were afraid the other would disappear at a moment's notice. We slowed down after a little bit, and he pecked me on the lips one last time. He leaned his forehead onto mine and stared my swollen lips. I smiled to myself, he did love me.
Suddenly, he straightened up, put me back on the couch and left. I stared after him, not sure what to do. He had told me everything I needed to know with that kiss. He did care for me but for some reason, he had to let me go. He wanted me to trust him.
I'm not sure if you want me to continue this… If someone reviews and tells me "YES, PLEASE, CONTINUE, I MUST KNOW MORE" haha, then I shall do as requested. Thanks for your time!
