Death of an RPG Merchant
ACT ONE: SCENE ONE
The Planeptune Basilicom is illuminated by the fading orange rays of the setting sun. Neptune and her friends are hard at work finishing up their preparations for tomorrow's big event, before nighttime. There, we see Neptune, our protagonist in her signature purple and white hoodie dress, and Plutia, Neptune's friend in adorably light colored cotton shirt and skirt. They are being ordered around by non-other than the Basilicom's oracle, Histoire, a tiny fairy-like girl sitting on top of a book, throwing out commands for everyone to pack their belongings. Hard at work and no need for orders is Nepgear, Neptune's younger sister, who dresses and looks a little more sophisticated than Neptune. Upstairs are IF and Compa, Neptune's friends and fellow residents of the Basilicom, taking care of Peashy, the youngest of the residents. After a full day of work, Neptune and Plutia lay exhausted on the couch.
PLUTIA: (Tired and laying flat on the couch with her hands stretched high) Ohhh… *yawn* I'm pooped Neppy!
NEPTUNE: (Also laying out on the couch) So am I Plutie, but the big day is tomorrow! Um… what's the big day again?
PLUTIA: I dunno.
HISTOIRE: How many times must I remind you!? v.v Tomorrow is the annual Gamindustri celebration, celebrating the anniversary of our game series! ^.^ Most of the NPCs will be there, characters you may have met in the past, and it is mandatory for every CPU and main character to go! *.*
NEPGEAR: (Popping up from the back) Yeah guys, characters will travel from the different dimensions, all going to Celestia for the big celebration!
NEPTUNE: (Tilting her head) Sooo… I'm guessing we have to go too?
HISTOIRE: (Crossing her arms) That's right, no excuses! V,V Especially given the importance of your character! '.'
NEPTUNE: Geez, I like the main character status and everything but do I really, really have to? I don't like big events like this y'know… sometimes I'd rather not have the main character title… actually forget I said that…
PLUTIA: How about me? I'm not THAT important am I? I mean, I only came later in the series!
HISTOIRE: Yes you are! =.= Everyone is! v_v Especially given that you were playable, other lesser characters and villains can choose whether they go or not though. v.v I still recommend everyone make an appearance due to the importance of this event! T.T
PLUTIA: Well… I'm kind of a villain… sorta… Do I reeeeallly have to go?
NEPGEAR: (Energetically) C'mon guys, it'll be fun!
NEPTUNE: (With her hands stretched out) What are you so uppity about Nep Jr.? Do you really crave attention that badly? Is that why you are trying so hard to prepare for this? If you wanted some attention just come over here!
NEPGEAR: (Looking down) No! That's not it… I think… it'll just be cool to see so many familiar faces… and that kinda hurt coming from you…
HISTOIRE: Chop Chop everyone! O.O We have to finish up the preparations soon! ^.^ Everyone needs a good night's sleep for tomorrow. -_- And don't be late! !.! I'll be there early to finish up the last touches, so I'll leave a portal open for you at the front yard, should take approximately 3 minutes. ^.^
IF: (Walking down the steps) Well, we finally got Peashy to take a little nap.
COMPA: (Following IF) Mhm, let's finish the packing!
IF: (Looking around in disbelief) Jeez, you guys haven't gotten anything down since we went up! Everything looks the same!
NEPGEAR: (Raising her hand slightly) Um… I kind of packed a lot… over in this corner… all by myself…
NEPTUNE: (Lazily getting of the couch) Everyone's so excited for some reason… I can't seem to bring myself to do anything…
PLUTIA: Me neither! What does this event have going for me anyway? Neptune Teddy Bear Punching Bags?
NEPTUNE: Um… actually that would be an additional reason we shouldn't go Plutie…
COMPA: Well, since so many people from all over the nations are gathering, there will be really cool shops and stands! Unique and exotic foods! And rare merchandise!
IF: Might pick up some level 50 daggers myself.
COMPA: Uh, is that really the first thing you thought of? And don't think you're level 50 yet Iffy…
IF: (Embarrassed) H-Hey! How would you know what level I am anyway!
NEPTUNE: Okay, well this got a little interesting, maybe I do kinda, wanna, maybe go…
PLUTIE: Neptune Teddy Bear Punching Bags here I come!
HISTOIRE: Hurry everyone let's go, finish up! V_V Compa finish packing those snacks! v.v IF, put those emergency diapers for Peashy in that bag! V.V Nepgear, hurry and pack all my books into that suitcase! ^.^ Neptune, go and… and… try to look useful! o_O" And Plutia… just… um… nothing… -_-
ACT ONE: SCENE TWO
It is the next morning, as Neptune and her friends have arrived in Celestia, the sanctuary that binds the dimensions together. The place looks like an island floating in the clouds, and there are bright streams of light and decorations to mark the celebrations. It is crowded, with many familiar faces having arrived. Different people are conversing, walking around, shopping, taking pictures, and even sparring around the scene. Neptune and her friends arrive by a portal at the front entrance of the festival.
NEPTUNE: (Looking around the place) Whoa-ho-ho, look at this place, not only are we treated with being on a floating island, but look at all these lights flying around! OOH! That one got a little too close…
PLUTIA: (Looking around at the lights) Oooo! Wow, they're so pretty!
IF: They look like fireworks, but in the daytime, how did Histoire manage to do it?
COMPA: Probably magic or something… Peashy do you like it?
PEASHY: Mhm! They're awesome! But where's all the food!? I'm hungry…
IF: Geez already? Okay, let's all get a quick bite to eat.
NEPTUNE: Wait, let's explore a little first. I never thought I'd say this but I don't really have an appetite right now.
PLUTIA: Me neither! Where are those punching bags at!?
NEPGEAR: Why don't you guys go, I'll watch over these two.
IF: Um, I guess. Okay, why don't Compa and I take Peashy to grab a little bite to eat, and you guys can go explore a bit, we'll meet later when we're done.
NEPGEAR: Okay, just don't get lost in the crowds.
IF: (Leading Peashy and Compa to the food stands) We won't, you just make sure those two don't get in to any trouble.
NEPGEAR: (Waving bye to Peashy) I'll try…
PLUTIA: (Walking off on her own) Wow, there's sooooo many people here!
NEPGEAR: (Calling after Plutia) W-Wait… already… wait up for me!
NEPTUNE: (Looking a little farther away) Yeah, a lot of baddies whose asses we kicked a while back are here too! Like look at that lady in purple, uh… I think her name was… Ar… Arr… Arrr… Arrfork? Yeah, Arrfork, that's probably it. Actually, on second thought, probably not, since she's giving me the evil eye now… ooo… don't look, she's really giving me the mean stare now! She actually heard me from all the way over there!?
NEPGEAR: Neptune don't stare! Whoa… her gaze really does look cruel.
NEPTUNE: (Looking to the other side) Oooo! Look at all those huge mechas over there, spikes and swords and etc. You must be wet over all that!
NEPGEAR: Um w-what… those are the CFWs… they don't look to happy to see me either, and I have a strange idea as to why… let's keep walking…
PLUTIA: (Looking off into the distance) Hey look at that big 'ol robot! With spikey teeth!
NEPTUNE: Oooo! I remember him, his name has something to do with food… um… fried-pancakes or something, lemon-waffles, no… that's not it… some kinda paste…
NEPGEAR: You mean Copypasta?
NEPTUNE: Oooo! That's it!
NEPGEAR: Geez Neptune, that's awful, forgetting the name of an old enemy, although you forget about me a lot too…
PLUTIA: (Pointing ahead) Hey, its Noire and Uni!
Noire and Uni, the sister CPUs of Lastation walk towards Neptune after noticing her. They both wear black dresses with ribbons and have black hair tied in pigtails. They look extremely similar, with Uni a bit nervous, following behind her older sister.
NOIRE: (Folding her arms across her chest) I see you three finally made it. Took you long enough.
NEPTUNE: (Head leaning back) Only three minutes. So Miss Goody Too-Shoes arrived early huh?
NOIRE: W-What are you-
PLUTIA: Wow Noire! That dress looks different, it's more shiny! And, uh… more Ele- Elegr- Elegren-…
NEPGEAR: Elegant.
NOIRE: (Blushing) Haha, hey Plutia! Yeah, it's new for this special occasion, I have to impress everyone here! Show them that Lastation is the best nation!
NEPTUNE: Oooo! We got rhymes now, well here's one for you. "The best nation is Planeptune, because we… uh… we… look like the moon?"
NOIRE: Ugh, forget it…
NEPGEAR: (Off to the side with Uni) Hi Uni!
UNI: (Smiling slightly) Hey Nepgear! It's nice seeing you here. Um… N-Not that I was h-happy to see you or anything…
NOIRE: Hey cut that out! Just say you're happy to see her, geez you're making me look bad…
UNI: S-Sorry…
NOIRE: Don't apologize!
UNI: Um, I-
NOIRE: Nevermind. So, what are you three up to?
NEPTUNE: Probably going to walk around a bit, make fun of some of these baddies, like that Arrfork over there… hmm, where again? Oh there! Wait, don't look! …And maybe sign some autographs or something? Maybe buy some super-duper rare infinite stat gear!
PLUTIA: I want to try out some of the food here! And the Neptune Teddy Bear Punching Bags!
UNI: Okaaaaay… There's a lot of really special shops and stands opened for this occasion. A bunch of famous chefs and vendors from the different dimensions came to do some business, so there's definitely good food. There's this really nice ice cream stall down that lane also that you would probably enjoy Nepgear, not that I remembered you like chocolate ice cream or anything, or ice cream for that matter… never mind.
NEPGEAR: Cool, thanks! I'll remember to check it out later!
NOIRE: There's also a lot of really rare weapons and accessories for sale too, right down that street, some that you can only find in certain dimensions. If you keep going down to the end there, you'll see a huge blue tent, inside are probably the rarest weapons in Gamindustri! The stats on those swords were insane! I'll have to wait though, hate to ruin my image carrying a sword with me right now. This is an elegant and stylish occasion, the battle can resume later.
NEPTUNE: (Running off) Alright! Time to net myself some serious loot! I'll see you two later!
NOIRE: (In disbelief) She didn't listen to a word I said did she…
UNI: Considering that she's going in the complete opposite way, I'm guessing not one word…
NEPGEAR: (Chasing after her) W-Wait! Wait for me Neptune! You're going the wrong way!
PLUTIA: (Staying behind) I'm going to stay with you two! I don't wanna run anywhere…
NOIRE: Cool, good idea, better than running off with that goofball, let's just hope they don't get into any trouble…
PLUTIA: So… are you going to take me to the Noire Teddy Bear Punching Bags?
NOIRE: (Speechless) …
UNI: L-Lets go walk around Plutia… I'll show you some sights…
NEPTUNE: (Running straight ahead) C'mon Nep Jr. Hurry up, I don't wanna miss the- Yowch!
Neptune runs into a lady with white hair, and stumbles backwards to the floor.
NEPTUNE: (Rubbing her head) Ow… sorry about that, I wasn't looking… and hoowee lady, you are like a brick wall!
CIRI: (Holding out her hand) It's okay, I'm sorry, are you hurt?
NEPTUNE: (Taking her hand and being helped up) I'm fine but wow lady, I don't think I've seen you in any of my games before. You look a little… uh… polished… wait that's not a good word for it…
CIRI: Oh, my name is Cirilla, but you can call me Ciri for short. I'm not from around here, although you probably know that already.
NEPTUNE: So are you from like a game in-progress or something? What, is Vert getting a spinoff too? Is Neptunia getting a huge graphical overhaul or something? Next-gen perhaps?
CIRI: Huh? What are you…? No… You see…, I don't tell this to everyone, but I feel like I can trust you… for some strange reason. Well, to explain it simply, I can travel through space-time rifts, and when traveling I found a large influx of energy here, as well as a lot of open gaps as if someone else were traveling as well.
NEPTUNE: Whoa whoa whoa, slow down lady, err… Ciri, traveling through dimensions? What're you Histy?
CIRI: W-Who? Never mind, I just thought I'd take a little detour from my journey and explore a bit, I've chased around a lot lately, and I'm tired, and frankly, even a little depressed. But this place seems to cheer me up a little.
NEPTUNE: Well, it always cheers me up! Sometimes a little too much though…
CIRI: This place is so… different, everyone here is so short… and… so… happy?
NEPTUNE: Well, if you think this is weird, wait till you see… wait, nah, I won't spoil it for you.
CIRI: Well, I'd love to see more, but I have to leave soon, I wouldn't want to bring trouble to your dimension.
NEPTUNE: Oh. Oooo! Lemme guess, you're someone's waifu, and… and uh… and they're probably tearing up dimensions looking for you right now!
CIRI: W-W-Waifu? What? Your dimension speaks such a fascinating and distinguished native tongue. Well I got to go now, farewell, I have to be on my way, it was nice meeting you!
The ashen-haired, green-eyed young lady opens up a rift in space, and steps through. The gap then closes, leaving Neptune behind looking dumbfounded.
NEPTUNE: Okaaaaay… that really just happened, didn't it?
NEPGEAR: (Finally reaching Neptune) *Huff* F-finally, I reached you… *Pant*
NEPTUNE: Wouldn't believe what I just saw, well I don't either actually.
NEPGEAR: Huh? Anyway, it's down that way, the blue tent!
NEPTUNE: Oh really? Cuz I wasn't listening to a word Noire was saying, she lost me after "what're you three doing here?"
NEPGEAR: (Walking down the street) Okay…, let's just get going.
NEPTUNE: (Following Nepgear) Sure.
ACT ONE: SCENE THREE
Neptune and Nepgear arrive in front of the blue tent, which is massive, and hides everything inside from sight. It is lined with gold poles, and a large totem erects from the middle. There are many people entering and leaving, carrying weapons of all different sizes, shapes, and variety with them. The sign on the enormous tent reads "Weapon Shop of the Esteemed and Admired RPG Merchant" and the subheading reads "Weapons of all kind from a variety of different RPGs and Worlds."
NEPTUNE: (Going inside the tent) Wowza! Look at this place, weapons are on different stands everywhere, they are stacked to the roof! Swords, guns, spears, and uh… this weird looking, wiggly purple bat…
NEPGEAR: (Following Neptune inside) Whoa, this place is huge! It looks even bigger inside! Look at this beam saber! Hmm… inscription reads… use the force… probably not for me.
NEPTUNE: (Looking at a giant weapon on the shelf) Hey look at this thing, it looks like a giant cannon, err… "Mini Nuke Launcher" … No idea what a nuke is or why someone would want to launch it, and a mini version sounds delicious.
NEPGEAR: (Pulling Neptune away) Don't think nukes are food Neptune…
NEPTUNE: (Walking off) Why don't you go and do a little shopping on your own, I'll catch up with you later, lemme have a little look-see by myself first. Oh, and whatever you do, don't go by that weirdo over there with the hood who's opening his coat to anyone every time they approach.
NEPGEAR: (Walking away) Okay, don't get into any trouble either, I'll see you in a bit.
NEPTUNE: (Turning her attention to the shelves stocked with weapons) Okay, lemme see whatchu got in stock for me, hmm, a steel chair?
A girl wearing a large and fashionable gothic dress passes by Neptune, and then stands next to her, looking at the shelf as well. She flashes Neptune a smug glance, then looks back at the shelves.
NEPTUNE: Hey little girl! What's your problem! You've got quite the attitude missy, looking at me like that, then quickly looking away!
RACHEL: Little? Hah! Your quick misunderstanding already taught me having a conversation with you would be absolutely pointless. In fact, I am probably a thousand fold your age.
NEPTUNE: Okay, whatever you say, you dummy gothic loli. I'm pretty old too, although I don't look it.
RACHEL: W-What? Why does everyone!? Don't you ever dare call me that again! And unlike some people, I actually age with wisdom.
NEPTUNE: You're definitely not from around here are you, with your awkward sounding British accent, whatever British means anyway…
RACHEL: Just the tone of your voice already reminds me of someone else, an imbecile, who also speaks very rashly.
NEPTUNE: Um… that's probably an insult isn't it… Well, you remind me of Blanc, and trust me, that's probably not the best person to be associated with.
RACHEL: (Turning away) Ugh, I have no more time to waste here with you, I thought visiting the "Esteemed Merchant" would be slightly appealing, but it seems though that I have stepped foot in a dimension not worth any of my time. What an utterly pointless waste of my precious time.
NEPTUNE: Okay rabbit, if you're so uptight about this, then get on your high heels and move to somewhere else. Preferably, the poopy dimension… err… or whatever.
RACHEL: (With her hand over her mouth) *Gasp* Oh my! You really are like him! Well I shan't waste one more second of my time here.
The girl's umbrella turns into a cat, then opens up a portal to which she steps through, with a final "Hmph!" coming through before closing.
NEPTUNE: Geez, another one, what's next…
ELIZABETH: (Gracefully running past Neptune) Velvet… Oh Velvet…
NEPTUNE: (In disbelief) Um… gonna ignore that…
Suddenly, an old man wearing dirty dark robes, and carrying a large book appears behind Neptune.
MERCHANT: (In an old, raspy voice) Well well well, who do we have here? If it isn't one of the CPUs. Neptune of Planeptune.
NEPTUNE: Huh? Omigosh, it's an actual old man! Not just a silhouette, but a live person with actual pixels! Mr. Badd would be proud. How'd you know who I was anyway?
MERCHANT: I travel the different dimensions, far and wide, in order to gather my collection of the rarest weapons. Plus, I also heard you talking to your sister when you walked in.
NEPTUNE: So… I heard you got some preeeeetty nice weapons here huh?
MERCHANT: For the right price then, yes, I do.
NEPTUNE: Any really rare, super-duper high stat ones? Oooo! I want one with a hidden special ability… uh… One Hit Kill! Wait, err… 100x EXP per kill! Better look cool too!
MERCHANT: (Clearing his through) *Ahem* Umm… maybe I should explain it to you properly first. These are highly sought for weapons, I've entered into other dimensions and collec-
NEPTUNE: (Interrupting) Yeah yeah yeah, get on with it! So what do you have in stock?
MERCHANT: (Annoyed) Hmph! So impatient! Very well then, I have the famed, excaliber!
NEPTUNE: Excali-hoo-hah? Sounds kinda lame…
MERCHANT: How about, the demon slayer, Kurikara, the gate of Gehenn-
NEPTUNE: (Impatient) *Yawn* Geez, geezer, you're boring me with all these descriptions, are your dull words a weapons too? If they are, they work pretty well.
MERCHANT: (Angry) How dare you!? What do you expect, the Infinity Gauntlet!?
NEPTUNE: Nah, I'm more of a swords kinda gal.
MERCHANT: (Furious) Oh I have had it, leave here at once!
NEPTUNE: (Playfully apologetic) Heeeeey, wait, okay okay, I'm sorry, just tell me what else you have.
MERCHANT: (Calming down a little) *Sigh* Fine, I'll make an exception since you are the CPU. How about the buster sword?
NEPTUNE: Nah, too big, and boring, kinda like your speeches, okay okay, just kidding. Anything special? New? Never used, heard of, seen before?
MERCHANT: *Sigh* Well, I recently came across something… I haven't been able to verify the sources of it yet, and I don't usually sell anything before I do full resear-
NEPTUNE: (Rolling her eyes) Okaaaaaay, tell me what it is already.
MERCHANT: (The old man pulls a sword from the seemingly bottomless under-pocket of his coat) Here it is, the supposed eternal slayer, the long missing sword from the depths, Desiderata, the forgotten blade.
NEPTUNE: (Admiring the blade) Duuuuude, that is probably worth it for just the title alone. How'd you pull it out of those pockets anyway?
MERCHANT: These pockets are lined with magic, they can direct me to my inventory at anytime.
NEPTUNE: Wow, that's pretty neat!
MERCHANT: So? What is it going to be?
NEPTUNE: (Looking to the left) I'll take it! Uh by the way, that naked glowing blue guy with the dot and circle on his head has been looking at us for a while now. He got his dong sticking out too, can't stop being distracted by it. Go away dong, go away.
MERCHANT: Oh him? He is a doctor of some kind, had a few words with him earlier, strange fellow. Kept telling me to be careful, something bad might happen to me soon or something.
NEPTUNE: (Trying her best to put on her most adorable face) So how much? Or am I so cute that you'll give it to me for free.
MERCHANT: Fat chance. It will be seven hundred and sixty three zongos.
NEPTUNE: Whoa, that's too much, even though I have no idea what the conversion from credits to zongos are. Are they anywhere near the conversion from credits to rupies, cuz I know that one like the back of my palm.
MERCHANT: Actually, I expect them to be closer to the conversion rate from credits to zenis instead.
NEPTUNE: (Confused) Eh, not helping…
MERCHANT: (Lets Neptune hold the sword while taking a calculator from his seemingly never-ending pockets) Okay, let's see here… credits… to koins… to RP… to clams… to souls… to gil… and finally, to zongos, approximately thirty eight million credits. These rates change every so often so, approximately, I won't be too "on the mark" about it.
NEPTUNE: (Playing around with the sword) So… do they change by like thirty seven million… Awww, I really like this sword too.
MERCHANT: (Dodging) OH! Watch it! You almost cut my head clean off! Well… I don't charge any tax, but since I am selling this blade without any previous research, I will offer it to you for a quarter of the price.
NEPTUNE: Oooo! Okay! I'll take it!
MERCHANT: Thank you. Now first thing to do-
NEPTUNE: (Throws him the sword) Okay now, pack it up for me, wrap it up nicely, and I'll come for it later! Oh yeah, by the way, just charge it all off Histy's little itsy bitsy credit card! Bye!
MERCHANT: (Fumbling catching the sword while watching Neptune run off) Oh my… what am I to do…
NEPTUNE: (Looking for Nepgear) Nep Jr.! Where are you! Just when I didn't forget you, you go running off!
NEPGEAR: (From behind the shelf) I'm here! What took you so long?
NEPTUNE: (Excited) Well, I just bought some really cool and super awesome gear! Heh heh, I said gear…
NEPGEAR: (Worried) Ummm… don't you think you should've consulted me first? Why so rash?
NEPTUNE: I saw it and… uh… it looked cool and stuff. Anyway it's on Histy's bill anyway. Don't think she minds all that much.
NEPGEAR: Actually I do think she minds… remember that time you charged all that candy on her-
NEPTUNE: Let's not get into that. So, what did you find?
NEPGEAR: Nothing much… a lot of weird people here…
NEPTUNE: Tell me about it, between miss gothic Lolita, and glowing man with blue dong, I don't know what to expect next…
NEPGEAR: (Waiting) …
NEPTUNE: (Waiting) …
NEPGEAR: Well, doesn't look like much…
Suddenly a loud bloodcurdling screech from the back is heard, and panic spreads everywhere under the tent. People are rushing and gathering in the back, and shouting is heard all over the place.
NEPTUNE: You spoke a teensy weensy bit too soon.
NEPGEAR: (Running towards the back) Lets go check it out!
NEPTUNE: (Arriving at the scene) Omigosh! It's the merchant, he's killed! Oh nooooooes…
NEPGEAR: Seriously…
RANDOM MAN #1: (Investigating) Look! He's got a sword stabbed right through him! Someone must've killed him with it!
NEPTUNE: (Rolling her eyes back) Wow… Sherlock Holmes is here too…
NEPGEAR: Neptune! This is serious!
RANDOM WOMAN #1: (Pointing to the corpse) Look! That sword! It looks familiar! Probably one of the Merchant's rare weapons!
NEPTUNE: (Tilting her head back) No kidding…
RANDOM KID #1: H-Hey! I think I saw the CPU talking to the Merchant and holding this weapon! She almost cut his head off!
Everyone besides Neptune gasps, even Nepgear.
NEPTUNE: (Looking around) Uh… hey kid, aren't you a little too young to be here?
RANDOM OLD MAN #1: (Pointing to Neptune) That's right lad! I remember her talking to the Merchant, and buying that weapon from him! I was eavesdropping! I heard everything!
NEPTUNE: No waaaaiii, I would never buy anything like that!
RANDOM BOY #1: (Picking up a ripped package) Um… this label here says "Sword for delivery to CPU Neptune."
NEPTUNE: Um… doesn't mean I killed him or anything… I mean it doesn't even prove I bought it, maybe someone was gonna give it to me as a gift…
FLASH: (Zooming in all the sudden from a blur) Aha! I just searched all his pockets, and I found this little note on this book. "Purchase by Neptune, CPU of Planeptune, Desiderata sword for ten million credits." I think that's our proof!
NEPTUNE: Um… weird dude wearing red spandex, with weird horns, and a really misfitting, out of place thunderbolt symbol on his chest… what're you even doing here. Plus, it doesn't even mean I used the sword…
RANDOM LADY #1: (Pulling a small machine out of her pocket) Don't worry, I have a portable fingerprint scanner right over here, err… let's see… aha! The fingerprints match the CPU Neptune!
NEPTUNE: W-What!? Oh that's actually pretty cool though, I want one of those!
RANDOM GIRL#1: It's her! She killed the Merchant!
RANDOM OLD LADY #1: Oh my! Arrest her! Take her to prison!
RANDOM ELDERLY MAN#1: Down with the tyrants! Down with them all!
ACT ONE: SCENE FOUR
It is in a waiting room in Celestia, and the only ones present are Histoire, Neptune, and Nepgear. Neptune is laid flat on the couch, while Nepgear stands at her side. Histoire is on a little cell phone making a call, then hangs up.
HISTOIRE: (Angry) Oh you've done it now Neptune! V.V Everyone is on to you for what happened! v_v
NEPTUNE: Sorry! But I told you, I didn't do it! Tell her Nepgear!
NEPGEAR: (Staring downwards) I-I, I don't know… You were with me… but… I told you not to get into trouble!
NEPTUNE: B-But I-
HISTOIRE: Save it Neptune! V,V I just got off the phone, and I think I could lessen the damage you have done to Planeptune's reputation, and possibly all of Gamindustri! *.*
NEPTUNE: Great! So I'm free!
HISTOIRE: Yes, free from all responsibility forever. o.o
NEPTUNE: Awesome! So now what?
HISTOIRE: Now you relinquish your title as CPU. O.O
NEPTUNE: Okay. Wait a minute… I meant… Whoa Whoa Whoa what!?
HISTOIRE: You heard me, after your little fiasco, the only way to guarantee everyone we don't have a murderer for CPU is to replace you! T.T
NEPTUNE: Um… News flash Histy, I've killed a lot before, how do you think I gain EXP and level up, doing "gathering stuff" quests every day? Plus, who're you gonna replace me with?
HISTOIRE: Well, that was different Neptune, that's killing monsters. O.o Not murdering someone in cold blood. "."
NEPTUNE: Well what about the Lowee guards we always killed, pretty sure they were human! Anyway, the Merchant triggered a death flag on himself anyway. Charging me that much for that sword, which I still don't have by the way. Actually you should be happy, it was charged on your itty bity credit card.
HISTOIRE: So you admit your deed! T_T
NEPTUNE: No! I didn't do it! I was just saying he deserved to be killed, but I guess someone somehow listened to something I might've thought in my head, and uh… did it without telling me?
HISTOIRE: (Shaking her head) Oh Neptune… what am I going to do with you…? -_-
NEPTUNE: You still haven't answered who you're gonna replace me with!
HISTOIRE: Isn't it obvious? o.O Nepgear or Plutia of course! ^.^
NEPTUNE: Whoa whoa whoa! Not so fast Misty Histy… Nepgear!? People are probably going to forget they even have a CPU with her in charge! In fact, I kinda already forgot she was in this room with us!
NEPGEAR: …
HISTOIRE: Well she's a lot more responsible than you are! ^_^
NEPTUNE: And Plutia!? Doesn't she already have her own Planeptune to rule!? She way more of a ditz than me anyway!
HISTOIRE: Well, Plutia has actually done pretty well in her own Planeptune, so suffice to say, with a little help from both Histoires, she can invoke beneficial policies in both nations! *.*I'm sure a little bit of training can make her a great CPU to rule both Planeptunes! ^.^
NEPTUNE: (Folding her arms across her chest) I'm not giving up my throne!
HISTOIRE: Well… as always… you will have to settle things another way then. -_- If you really say you didn't do it… then find out who did it, and hurry up, because the masses are riled up! V.V
NEPTUNE: (Giving Histoire a thumbs up) Thanks for believing in me Histy! I'll work on it right away! Right after I get a little snack from the stands first! Oh, gotta pick up that sword too! Hope they didn't stash it in some evidence department or something… Maybe I'll take a little nap too…
