AN: Hello! This the first fanfic that I've written for a very long time. I hope my writing skills aren't too rusty ((sheepish smile))
The structure of the story might be a tad confusing…It's supposed to have a kind of 'slipping in and out of consciousness' feeling to it…but I don't know if that worked or not.
Anyways I hope you like it~!
Disclaimer: Naruto and all it's characters (including Naruto…) are a product of Kishimoto Masashi-san's imagination. The plot etc. were a product of hyperactive brain functions caused by the author ingesting too much cold medicine ((coughcough)).
Never Fall In Love
Hinata's most vivid memory was the night she had caught her father weeping in the darkness of his room the day of her uncle's death. She couldn't see his expression but she heard the despair and vulnerability in his sobs, and it frightened her. How could her stoic, stern-faced father; the head of the Hyuuga household be reduced…to a mere man?
Hinata had vowed to herself then that she would love no one and be loved by no one.
After all, wasn't it just another weakness? And she already had too many of those.
/
Hinata blinked, trying to remember why she was lying on the ground. Her eyes were wet and she couldn't figure out whether it was from her tears or the raindrops.
/
It had been easy enough, to separate herself from the people close to her. Her family demanded strength so she showed none. Her teammates needed her courage, so for years she played the part of a coward.
She had become so good at pretending that she began to lose her true self. Her soulless white eyes now matched her soulless white life.
She had become nothing.
And who could love nothing?
/
Hinata wondered if she should bother getting up no one would have noticed her absence. She could hear someone approaching but they made no move of slowing down as they passed her.
She closed her eyes, listening to the rhythm of rain and fading footsteps.
/
Wasn't it what she wanted all along? To be safe from love.
So why…did she feel so lonely?
/
The raindrops began to feel like needles, driving into her skin. Deeper and deeper…
She wondered if she was merely dreaming. Maybe when she woke up she could be someone else for a change.
/
She admired him.
The boy Naruto, whom no one could love.
How strong he was. In his own way, in a way that only she seemed to see. Not because of her byakugan eyes, but because she was just like him. Lonely because no one cared.
And then there was Neji. Who loved no one.
Her elder cousin, who surpassed her in everything except status. She was of the main house and he would never be – no matter how much of a genius he was. His heart would always be locked up inside that birdcage, where no one would ever dare reach. He'd made sure of that.
/
At the thought of Neji, Hinata recalled finally how she came to be lying on the cold, wet courtyard…
/
She attacked the wooden training post as if it had done her some great, personal wrong. Kicking, punching, scratching until her fingers were slimy with blood, but her attacks never ceased. It was the only way she could stop herself from thinking or feeling.
She told herself she was nothing. Untouchable.
Yet she felt a longing for his fingertips, his lips, his warmth on her bare skin—
Hinata stopped abruptly, mid punch. And without a second glance at the battered and blood smeared training log she made her way home.
She was nothing. Invisible.
So why did it feel as if his eyes could see every part of her? Her thoughts, her secrets, her fears—
Hinata stumbled. She was shaking. Was it because she hadn't eaten today? She hadn't eaten or slept for a few days now – she couldn't. Because whenever she had even a moment of peace, her thoughts would wander over to a certain boy with pearl white eyes and dark chestnut hair…
She was within the Hyuuga compounds now and if she was lucky she would reach her room without having to bump into him. Hinata bit her lip and continued walking.
She was nothing.
Unlovable.
The thought gave her both hope and despair because she didn't want love. It frightened her, the thing that had managed to break her father. How easily it would break her.
And yet…and yet…she longed for it.
Had she ceased to be nothing? Because if she did then she would just be Hinata again. She would be vulnerable again.
Her legs collapsed beneath her as her vision blurred and everything turned black.
Vulnerable.
/
Hinata felt herself being gently lifted. Something soft brushed her cheek and she could smell the gentle scent of lilacs. Gingerly she opened her eyes.
His expression was as unfathomable as always.
She had been a fool to think that she could protect herself. It was too late. It had been too late from the very beginning.
"Neji." She whispered tearfully.
No honorifics. No barriers.
"...I think…I love you."
So…what did you think? Too depressing? Interesting? Really badly written?
I've read over this fic so many times, even after posting it up. I just don't think it's perfect yet so I keep making changes. Just tiny deletions of sentences and words. So if you think there's a line that's a bit cliched or something I would love to hear about it.
A review from you (eek that rhymed!) would be very much loved and appreciated! ^_^
Click the button below. Plz?
