A/N:So, I'm not entirely sure what led to this. But I feel it's relevant, and hope it means something to someone other than myself.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, either song, or the idea of the mash-up.
Rated M for dark themes.
"-and it's not like the Gryffin-whores are any competition," Pansy said to Millicent with a cheeky smirk as the came upon the door to the Potions classroom, early as usual. "What with Granger's frizzed out hair and beaver teeth. And Patil! Hah! Everyone wants an Asian for one thing – to screw."
"Um," Millicent blinked slowly. "I thought the Patils were Indian?"
"Whatever. Point being, there's not too many decent girls around this school. It's a shame, really, for all of those who have to deal with it. Luckily, Draco has me and the rest of the decent male population can just..I don't know, take the scraps. You know, I actually overheard that Dennis Creepy…Crazy…whatever his name is.. call Granger attractive! As if the Mudblood didn't-"
"Hey!" a voice shouted from behind the two Slytherin girls, and Pansy turned to find who she least expected – Lavender Brown.
"Brown," Pansy said flatly. "Got a problem? Other than your weight, that is?"
Lavender visibly flushed, her normally tan skin going pale and red at the same time. Confrontations were not her usual thing, and she and Hermione were far from best friends…but all the same, Lavender was a Gryffindor for a reason.
"First of all, Hermione IS pretty, AND she's been doing way better this year, so I don't see why you have to attack her for something Creevey said. And her hair is silky now, I gave her this spell to try, and her teeth were fixed ages ago thanks to YOUR albino boyfriend's messed up spell. By the way, if you have a problem with someone's weight, you'd do well to take a look at your so called friend here. I didn't know Crabbe and Goyle had a daughter."
Parvati laughed, as did some passing fourth year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws – Parvati and Lavender hadn't arrived in time to hear the degrading and racist comments made earlier. Meanwhile, Pansy was turning near-Weasley red in anger. She turned to Parvati first, finding the girl an easier target as she hadn't yet commented.
"Listen, you ethnic slut! No one gives a DAMN about any words that come out of your mouth, because we know just what it's been doing at night. People like you have one place – on your knees bowing to people like me. Merlin knows you spend enough time on them anyway…"
Parvati's eyes widened in hurt and shock; yes, she had experienced racism before, but not o this degree at Hogwarts, and not with those particular connotations added in.
"Well, I hope you realize, Pugsy – I mean, Pansy – that you have an even worse reputation because you'll suck anything that comes near you!" Lavender added in, coming to the defense of her best friend of 5 years. "What's wrong? Insecurities? Worried that flouncy ferret will come out and leave you? Because really, who wouldn't? Nose like that, poking out of your pug face – hah! No wonder you know just when to say something insulting – you must smell people you don't like coming from a mile away."
"Hah, funny, Brown. Just the way to insult someone like the filthy hypocrite you, and all Gryffindors, are. How many times have you had your nose spelled differently, again? I'd say one for every time someone called you fat, but…well, you'd have no nose left!"
"Oh, no nose? Funny, sounds like a certain lousy Dark Lord your parents worship. Tell me, did they sell their souls to him when you were born in the hopes he could make you look less like a half-troll? I know most girls use a Brow Plucking Charm, but when you have six eyebrows, that must be time consuming!" Ginny Weasley fired off to Pansy as she walked by slowly on her way to Charms. She was running late, but had heard the discussion start to get crueler and more personal.
"Funny, Weaselette. Guess you've resorted to humor in the attempt to deny that your disgusting freckles are someday going to merge into one and make you as brown as your little friend there! But don't get too excited, I still maintain that half of those 40 million freckles are zits from all of the traitorous blood in you!"
More and more sixth year Gryffindors and Slytherins were arriving at the door as it grew nearer to time for class to start. Among this group were Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They had come upon the fight just as Ginny shouted out her comment, and their expressions ranged from proud, pleased, and laughing (Ron) to worry but with a small smile (Hermione) to Harry's expression of minor amusement marred by a small flash of something indistinguishable.
"Speak of the Walking Brillo Charm itself – Hey, Granger! Been used to clean any dishes lately? I Know normally the house elves wouldn't deign to touch someone of your blood, but nothing really gets the dishes scrubbed harder," Pansy half-shouted.
Ron flushed red and was about to retort when Harry stopped him with a shake of the head. Girls fought differently than guys, Harry figured, and it was best not to get involved unless wands were drawn.
"You do realize," Hermione said, seemingly nonplussed, "that the charm you're speaking of was invented by a Muggleborn and based off of a muggle cleaning object? I mean, I do realize you have functional illiteracy because you can't see through that dead Dementor you call hair, but honestly."
"Of course you'd know that, Mudblood! All the action you can get is pleasuring your fat saggy arse with one of those screaming books in the library, and-"
"BLOODY FUCKING HELL, WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST ALL SHUT UP ALREADY?"
Everyone at the scene startled and turned to look at the culprit of the outburst, which was not just violent and angry, but somehow..broken.
Millicent stood there in tears.
"Merlin's pants, you're all such bitches…"
She ran off without another word.
Class commenced in the next five minutes without any more drama.
Hermione sighed as she entered the sixth year dorms of Gryffindor. Thankfully, everyone else was at dinner (so she assumed) and she could have some time alone. She went over to her modest trunk and pulled out the small muggle device she had been toying with as a part of an experiment to fuse magic into powering it (All with Professor McGonagall's permission, of course!). Slowly, soft music began to warble out of it, staticky in places, but nonetheless working. Hermione absentmindedly pointed her wand at it to tune it as she walked over to the full-length mirror Lavender had installed on the door in 3rd year. Finally, she hit the song she was looking for.
"I wish I could tie you up in my shoes, make you feel unpretty too. I was told I was beautiful, but what does that mean to you?"
"Mudblood…fat..saggy arse…Brillo.." The words ran through Hermione's head of their own volition, distorted and out of order.
"Look into the mirror, who's inside there? The one with the long hair…"
Hermione had undressed down to her underthings and stood staring. She had thought her hair had been better, but suddenly it she was 11 years old again and crying as she painfully pulled a brush through the locks that tangled no matter what.
Had she gained weight in her arse area? Maybe she had.
Couldn't she at least be a pretty Mudblood?
She realized she was covering herself with her hands and crying.
"Same old me again today…"
Parvati glanced into one of the mirrors in the 7th floor girl's restroom. She saw beautiful dark skin, silky black hair that fell in gorgeous waves, and a small confident smile.
"On your knees..bowing…spend most of your time there anyway…"
Drilled into her from the moment she could walk. Her parents, mother most of all, had warned Padma and herself that they would face things like this in life, and that they must do the Patil name proud and never let anyone realize they had gotten to them. An calm, collected, cool façade, her mother had said at the end of that summer when Parvati tearfully confessed that someone had seen her kiss a boy and was spreading rumors. Calm and cool, was the only response. Calm and cool.
"My outsides look cool, my insides are blue. Every time I think I'm through, it's because of you…"
Parvati almost wished she had been sorted into Ravenclaw, like her smarter and calmer sister. Padma was, of course, her identical twin, but she didn't put as much stock in beauty charms as Parvati. Of course, Parvati just wanted the affection she had never gotten growing up; she was treated well, loved, but was just the black sheep in the studious, cool family. She was fire, volatile, emotional. Gryffindor was fire, and fire burned. Burned like a minor Cutting Hex…
"I've tried different ways, but it's all the same."
Maye she wouldn't follow it up with a small dose of Pain Reliever and a healing charm this time.
"At the end of the day, I've got myself to blame…"
Millicent ran a hand over her crusty, short brown hair. It hadn't grown in years, because of a botched spell when she was 6. Everyone else in her family, some very attractive, some leaning more towards looking…well…like Millicent herself, had one distinctive family trait – thick, long, gorgeous auburn hair.
"Brillo…fat…ugly…troll..fat fat fat fat UGLY FAT!"
Nothing had fixed the damage she had done.
No one would ever know it was because her family was dark, and her 6 year old mind though that if she didn't have the hair, she wouldn't have to be part of that family anymore. Now sixteen and forced to begin her Death Eater training, she wished she at least had the hair as a distraction…
"You can buy your hair if it won't grow.."
Pansy poked at her nose in an unladylike manner, squeezing it this way and that. At this point, it was red and running from the abuse…and of course, from the tears.
"Troll…pug…" the voices ran through her head, the girls, Draco, her mum, even a strange muggle they had once run into on an outing when she was 8.. "Nasty little Jew filth, with a nose like that."
Her father told her that her mind and blood would get her a man, and that no respecting Old family would even consider Permanent Cosmetic Solutions.
"You can fix your nose if he says so…"
Ginny glanced at the small compact mirror she had been given by a 3rd year Hufflepuff girl. Ella was sweet, shy, and Muggleborn, once she had heard Ginny mention her freckles absorbed sun and tanned when the rest of her did not, an Ella told the ginger girl that this was how muggles changed appearances.
"40 million…zits…freckles…merge one day…"
Spells didn't conceal Ginny's level of freckles for more than a few minutes.
There…there weren't that many zits, were there? She shrugged and looked at the cream colored powder.
"You can buy all the makeup that M.A.C. can make.."
Lavender sighed as she scrutinized herself in the mirror. Was she usually so…pale? Was her hair drying out? She was an only child, but grew up around plenty of other children. They had all played with her flowing golden locks, and she had always felt like a princess.
Until today.
"Never insecure until I met you…now I'm bein' stupid…"
She grabbed a small bit of skin at her small midsection, and looked into the mirror. She saw a huge bulge of fat in her hand, rolls of it, pale and disgusting. She looked like raw dough for bread before her Mummy cooked it…
"Got a problem? Other than your weight, that is?"
Pansy really wasn't the first to make some such comment. Ron Weasley had once answered an affirmative to a "does this make me look large?" It was always very little, minor comments, sometimes sarcastic, sometimes jokes. Few, and far between.
Lavender remembered each and every one of them, though.
They added up.
She didn't hear the mirror comment on how nicely toned her abs were. After all, if she couldn't see them, why would she be able to hear about them?
"I used to be so cute to me…just a little bit skinny…"
Minutes later, the sound of vomiting into a toilet and small, gasping sobs.
A first year in plain robes (she had forgotten the ones with her house colors) stared as one of the pretty 6th years walked quickly by her class as it let out on the 2nd floor. What was that girls name again? She didn't remember yet, Hogwarts just had so many people! But…was the girl crying? The first year girl peeked around the corner curiously, displaying her first bit of adventurous attitude since coming to school. Yes, there was the pretty 6th year. And yes, she was crying. It looked like she had a cut on her arm and darkening bruises around her neck – the first year shuddered. Had the other girl been attack?
The 6th year pulled out some Bruise Salve and began applying it, glancing around the empty hall covertly and barely missing the other student lurking nearby. She looked terrified and hurt.
Suddenly the first year had a flashback to a few years ago, how her Mummy and 'Daddy' Luke (her third new father) were yelling, and how she heard a sudden 'Crucio!' followed by screaming, laughter, and later a dull punch.
Her eyes widened.
But the 6th year girl had gone.
"Why do I look to all these things to keep you happy? Maybe get rid of you and then I'll get back to me…"
"I feel pretty…oh, so pretty…" She knew she was beautiful, a rare flower in this school, Asian when few others were. She was greatly sought after by many of the Hogwarts boys. But with Cedric dead, did it matter? No one knew, no one understood the depth of her pain at losing the one she was secretly engaged to. He was her entire world. Nothing mattered now. Pretty didn't matter. Pretty was for happy girls with good lives.
"..oh, so pretty and witty and bright…"
Things would never be good to Cho again.
She dug the razors along her long, lithe legs as she let out silent, dry sobs. The liquid part of her tears had gone long ago. As had her heart.
"And I pity any girl who isn't me tonight…."
In the highest Astronomy tower, reserved for advanced 7th year students, a small 3rd year peeked over the edge uncertainly. Her boyfriend from Ravenclaw had dumped her because she was too skinny, or that's what his new girlfriend had said. And yes, she knew, 13 was young to be this broken up. But in all of her short life, no one had cared like he had. Certainly no one at the orphanage gave a damn.
But the best part, she had found herself thinking bitterly, was that she had been so proud to lose a little weight. She was the right height for her age, only slightly too heavy, but she looked relatively small. And the bigger girls in her house had often teased her and, later, tormented her for trying to be healthier. It didn't matter to them, she now understood, that she was still overweight. She was skinnier than them and in their eyes, it gave her no right to complain. The in-betweeners, she realized, had it pretty shitty, too.
It didn't matter now. Carlos hated her, hated her when she finally felt good about herself. She was no Gryff, she thought, but she was brave enough for this.
She jumped.
'Arresto momentum!' a soft, feminine, and slightly vague voice called out from behind a tree near the Astronomy tower. 'Nocturnis buenas'.
The small girl, previously falling nearly as fast as Harry Potter could fly when he was after a snitch, floated gently to the ground, landing soft as a feather. When the second spell hit, she fell asleep immediately, a smile suddenly working its way onto her tearstained face.
The older girl levitated the younger to a grassy area near the tree. The spell would last only 30 minutes, and fill the girl with good dreams and hope. Really, for all the rubbish people talked about the Sweet Dreams Charm, it could be a literal lifesaver. And because of the speed at which it was done, the younger girl would never have to realize her savior was just plain old Loony.
Luna smiled gently down at the girl before departing. Really, it was quite a nice day out for a nap. Maybe she would take one for herself, of course after getting one of her portable Nargle repellants from her bag. It was sunny and warm but just breezy enough to be comfortable out, but unfortunately that was what the Nargles preferred, too.
Luna vaguely heard someone say something catty about how her radish earrings did not match her Butterbeer cap necklace. A Slytherin girl tried to trip her, calling out about how weirdly long and thin Luna's pale libs were. Another Slytherin, a boy, chimed in about her waist-length white blonde hair being 'creepy'.
She sent out gentle smiles to them both, and to the boy, sweetly said "thank you."
They shrugged it off and left – Loony was too hard to bully sometimes. Loony Luna. Luna, who knew her hair was blonde, and eyes were silvery blue, and that she liked her voice and loved her Daddy. Luna, who looked in the mirror to make sure she was well groomed (usually) and for no other reason.
Luna, who honestly loved herself, because she loved everyone.
Why shouldn't she love them all? They were people, good or bad, and mostly good. That was one of the few things Luna realized WAS odd about her – she saw people for who they were. Usually, they were beautiful, no matter in what way, in or out.
She wished they could see it the way she did – as she was tripped on her way to her bed and realized someone had taken her quills again, she paused. Someone was coming. Cho, the older Ravenclaw, walked in to ask if Luna had any pain relief salve. She did, and offered it to Cho without complaint.
Cho had taken most of Luna's shoes last year.
But Cho was still beautiful, in and out, and Luna was lucky enough to see it.
Luna was the luckiest girl in Hogwarts, she decided. And someday, maybe she'd find a way to show everyone else to see the way she saw. Then maybe the girls wouldn't feel so…not ugly, Luna decided. Not that mean of a word. But not as weak as unattractive..
Luna often found she had to coin her own words to describe her unique thoughts.
Ah, yes. Maybe the other girls at school wouldn't have to feel so…unpretty.
"But if you can't look inside you, and find out who are you to…put yourself in the position to make you feel so damn unpretty."
"I feel pretty…oh so pretty…oh so pretty and witty and bright…"
"You can buy your hair if it won't grow…You can fix your nose if he says so.."
"I feel pretty…but unpretty…"
Finite Incantatem
A/N: Hope you enjoyed.
~skittyninja
