Dear Diary,
Goddamnit! I am severely having a hard time since I entered high school. I was planned to have a brighter new beginning but I guess it won't gonna happen. Definitely not this time.
When I met Haruko-chan, the cutest and the nicest girl I' ve ever seen and met in my whole life, 'something between the lines was obviously lie' I really thought that this time I finally got a girlfriend.
*sigh* Well sorry to disappoint you. But I ain't got lucky this time... Again... For the fifty fucking times... No...fifty one to be precise, . I'm planning to confess to her on how I like her. Yes, I do like her...but not really the kind of like...you know...between a boy and a girl. She's really nice but instead Haruko-chan confessed on me that she had a crush on a certain dumb guy named Rukawa, a basketball player, who didn't give a shit about her existence. Poor Haruko-chan... I knew very well how does it feel to like someone who doesn't bother to look at you...
Die those basketball player! I am still in pain and heartbroken 'that's a joke...duh' when Yoko-chan back in middle school dumped me and choose some basketball player goes with a name of Oda over me. I really hated them...all. Every single one of them. Curse those basketball players!
And today...I was on my way to the rooftop along with my best-ass-friend Youhei and the three-stooges to kick some ass. We'll just have some 'peaceful talk' with Norio Hotta, who fearlessly barged into my classroom and challenged me into a fight.
Geez.. How I wish he's handsome... I would love to fight him in my bed...' What the fuck?! How could I possibly wished for something so impossible?' He's so damn ugly...so ugly that I wanted to puke everytime I saw his face.
Then Youhei open the rooftop door and we're all dumbfounded when a tall, with a raven locks, luscious guy, emitting pheromones saying come-on-baby-let-me-fuck-your-ass stands proudly above those ugly creatures who laid unconsciously on the floor, that challenged me for a fight awhile ago.. 'Luscious? that shit word wasn't enough to describe him' Oh sorry I was lost a bit...what was that again?'
Yes right! The raven-hair guy with matching cerulean eyes was so damn hot that makes me wanna fuck him right at that moment. 'Fuck? No...no... Are you ignorant or something. Don't you know how to read properly. I wrote fight not fuck! Stupid.'
My best-ass-friend Youhei asked the guy if he beat out those ugly bastards on the floor himself, while the rest asked who the hell he is.
Kaede Rukawa ... He cooly states his full given name in a suckmyhardpenis tone. That was his fucking name! Holy shit...sounds sweet and so delicious. I wouldn't mind eating pancakes for the rest of my life, but in return I should eat it with his ehem...specially made maple syrup. 'Let me educate you ...his name Kaede was literally means Maple in english language. Amazing me huh...I'm just saying that I know English too duh! Lemme me give you an example and lemme use it in the paragraph. I want his 'concentrated, sticky maple syrup in my as...pancakes!
The guy asked us back if we're friends with those bastards on the floor. Of course we aren't! 'Wow..amazing ...the guy really did fight alone and beat the hell out of them,.. It gives me shiver to think that the guy was so damn strong to do it by himself and makes me wonder...what about in bed, is he strong enough to last till five rounds? Do I sound like a pervert?
Oh well whatever...back to the topic... I glare and approach the hottie guy closely. So he is Haruko-chan's crush, can't blame her for having a crush on him. He looks tempting not to mention his seductive bedroom voice. 'Say it again? Bedroom voice?' You mean a type of voice sounds as if you wanna fuck and cum everytime you hear it?' Exactly!
'What? I'm sounded like a what? A gay? Ohmyfreakinggosh! Didn't I mentioned you that I am indeed a gay? Yes... I am gay. You read it well I AM GAY... In a CAPITAL BOLD letters so you won't missed any single letters on it.
Say what? You're shock? Seriously? I see... I understand what you meant by that. Can't blame you duh...
You're not expecting me to run across Japan, holding a streamers in a disgusting pink paint or waving those stupid flags and shouting 'Proud to be GAY! aren't you? CURSE you! Ain't gonna happen... I'm proud to be gay...but obviously not gonna do it. ...
Well...to be honest, only my best-ass-friend Youhei knew that I do prefer boys over girls. And the only reason why I'm chasing girls was to deluded people about my preference. I don't really wanna to do that, but I am willing to fall to some nice girl who is willing to accept me as I am now. I wanna know the feeling of being in love and to be loved.
Youhei offered a 'help' that I painfully refused. Ever heard a word 'care and respect?' Have you know a phrase about crossing a line and not going that far. As much I tempted to let him shove his Yo-chan on my...you know... I'd rather not. I care for him, admire him and respect him in a highest level. I won't gonna take advantage of his pure kindness. I own him a lot...my sadness and happiness in life. He's the only person who always there for me during those ups and downs I experience in life. The person who truly know the real me...who accepted me and understand me for what I am. The person who witness my pain, my sorrow. Who wiped away those tears on my cheeks, who hugs me tight to comfort me and warms me when I'm cold. The person who is willing to sacrifice his own life just to protect me and always make sure that he'll be there when I need him. I ain't letting those lecherous desires to ruin our strong-build friendship. I swear, I rather lose everything that I possess than to lose Youhei.
And let me tell you a sad story of my life. I am an orphan, I live alone...no siblings to live with... Rest in Peace Otou-san Okaa-san. I miss you both...
My uncle Hanatarou, my mother's younger brother who lived and work in Tokyo was the one who supported my studies and everyday needs. Thanks to my kind, loving uncle, I finally came to realize the real me after witnessing him pounding and banging some guy's ass in his water bed, one time when I came to visit him in Tokyo...and letting those arousing moan begging to fuck harder...uhm...yeah...deeper baby! ahh...uhm...yeah...that's it...deeper...
'Care to continue? Please...tell me more...tell me more!' Shut the fuck up! Come on show some sympathy you pervert bitch! I'm here agonizing about my misfortune in life not about his ass-venture! 'Wait what? Ass-venture? What a magnificent word! I should add into my intelligent Dick-tionary!'
Oh...yeah that's it! In short my uncle supported me..but in return I must never tell anyone his little secret that he fucked his boss' ass. Not a big deal duh....
Let's back to my Kaede.. I mean that sexy-ass...no asshole Rukawa...that ignored Haruko-chan's feeling. I glared at him and grabbed his uniform. Shit, we're so damn close that I wanted to taste his lips. Are you dumb? My faithful gang was with me and I don't wanna expose any weaknesses to them. 'Weakness? You mean sexy-ass guys with a parting lips, ready to devour any time?
I tell him my lovely name Hanamichi Sakuragi just in case he's interested to know. I wonder how long, I mean how tall he is. Duh, he's shorter than me in an inch, I guess, but it'll be longer once it become hard. Ooppss.. what I'm trying to say is when he trains hard his... I mean he'll be longer...no..no...taller..
So then... my precious Haruko-chan 'eww precious my ass!' suddenly showed up and began to yelled at me. That's she heard a lot of bad rumors about me being a troublemaker which is mostly true. Being a low-life, and losing her faith on me. 'How dare you bitch!' But I never thought that she's suspected me of hurting Rukawa's handsome face duh I don't mind biting and sucking him in my bed. 'Say what again!' I swear I won't gonna hurt him that way! not to mention to ruined his face!
I honestly hurt by her words. You see...she was a really nice girl, just like I always tell you... that's why I decided to stick with her. She's the only girl I've met who never show any sign of fear everytime she talks to me. Although she already heard those bad rumors about me being a troublemaker, she still talking and being friendly towards me..She's cheerful and cute...a dear friend I wanted to have and I started to like her...Just too bad we both prefer men.
She run into my Kaede 'yes... You read it... My Kaede. I just decided' he's mine as of today' insisted to care and wipe off the blood on his forehead, to go in the clinic to treat it. Instead of thanking her, my Kaede rudely refused and asked who the hell she is.
The hell was that! I'm sure it was love at first sight...but my Kaede, no... It's Rukawa...he's such an asshole from the beginning anyway. How dare he treated Haruko-chan like that!
I was so shock when he refused the poor Haruko-chan's help and tell her to leave him alone. Geez... I do love him...but shit I can't tolerate some asshole to treat a kind-hearted Haruko-chan like some kind of a trash.
And I punch for being mean to her...he hits me back...we're throwing some hard punches to each other. Shit! I loved it! He punch me in my face...in my gut..And I imagine him pinning me on wall...throw me in my bed...he ride on top of me and rub his...on me...it's so freaking awesome! 'How I wished we're doing it on my bed..' Thanks for the annoying interruption of my beloved best-ass-friend and gang, they stopped me from fighting with him or else I might jumped on him and... 'Oh...Let me tell you another secret... I like it rough and painful...those blood...love marks and bruises...'
NO I AM NOT A FUCKING MASOCHIST! I'M just saying that I like rough and painful fights. It's proves my manliness and evidence that I'm trying my best duh! 'Manliness my ass!'
When we stopped, my Kaede finally left and Haruko-chan calls me horrible and she said that she hates me. My chance to get close with my Kaede was ended before I actually had it . *sigh in frustration* and Haruko-chan seriously hated me now.
When Haruko left, I started to lose control...hysterically shout and cry about not having God or Buddha in this world. Why life is so unfair for me?! I want to jump off the building wishing that I will fall at my Kaede's warm loving arms. But it wasn't gonna happen right...
My Kaede don't care about me, tch ...he never even bother to look at me in the eye. Now I'm fully aware of Haruko-chan's feeling about the fox. Haruko-chan hates me now, and I haven't any possible ways to change that.
I lost a potential lover and good friend at the same time. *sob sob* it's counted right? Fifty two then? Fine whatever!
*sigh* I think that's all for tonight...till next time... Ja... Nighty. Sweet kisses...
Lovely as always,
Tight-ass Hana
A/N: sorry for the vulgar words. I'm so stress from work and my friend says that cursing and saying some bad words once in awhile actually helps to release some stress. Lolz. I think it works and I came up with tHis. Please review ne?
