Estuans Interius Ira Vehementi

"So what does he look like?"

George Banks squinted around the curtains at the shadowy figure stalking up the front walkway. The darkness covered most tell-tale features, but a swish of light did give something away. "He's wearing a cape."

"...Really, George, what does he look like?"

"He had something long and white trailing behind him, and now he's at the door. I can't see from this angle."

The chime of the doorbell rippled through the air.

"If we don't answer maybe he'll think we're not home."

"He probably already saw you looking through the window," Nina pointed out, and went to open the door.

George grimaced as his wife pulled the door open and leaned past it to greet the schemer trying to worm his way into their lives.

"Good Evening." The voice was very deep, and George narrowed his eyes at the smooth tone.

"Oh, hello! We're so glad to see you tonight," said Nina with effusive geniality as she motioned insistently for George to come and meet their 'guest' face to face.

George glared at the current obstacle of the open door and refused to cooperate.

"You must view this as some kind of intrusion." He was much too professionally conciliatory for George's taste.

"Not at all, we're delighted to see you. Please come in."

George squinted suspiciously as a figure stepped into his house and he got his first look at the guy determined to wreck his life.

He realized where the cape impression had come from. The guy had hair longer than his, Nina's, Annie's, and Matty's all put together. It was also the same shade of white-silver as George's. This guy had totally been scamming Annie when he told her was twenty-five.

His clothing choices were equally suspicious. He hadn't roared up on a motorcycle, but he was completely covered in leather, including a full length coat. His boots weren't any recognizable brand, which meant they were probably done by an exclusive manufacturer who was as picky about his buyers as he was about his materials. Apparently the guy had only been inclined to button up about a third of his coat - after forgetting to put a shirt on under it.

George was starting to get very leery over where exactly Annie had met this guy.

The feeling only compounded a moment later, when the guy pulled out a literal, seven foot sword from seemingly nowhere and leaned it politely against the wall.

Finally, the questionably aged man turned and George made challenging eye contact with a steady, green gaze. The guy was probably the possessive type. Annie didn't know what she was getting herself into.

"Sir," the man intoned with an incline of his head.

"Oh, Nina and George are just fine," Nina assured.

George's eyes narrowed in disagreement.

"Thank you, Nina." His attention switched over to George in seeming amusement. "...Sir."

Not really fighting to keep the grimace off his face, George struggled to remember the mouthful of a name Annie said the guy went by -

"Sephiroth!"

George had to suppress the urge to order his daughter back to her room as she practically skipped down the staircase.

"Annie," the man said lowly with a slow, spreading smile. In one long step he was at the foot of the staircase and Annie had effectively gotten herself wrapped in his arms.

Nina seemed to have anticipated how George was getting steamed enough to try decking Se-something, and had circled him in a half hug. She was looking completely charmed while George seethed.

Furryroth or whatever, eventually decided to give them the time of day. "Well then, here we are."

"Here he is," Annie said gleefully, anchored to his side.

"Meeting the in-laws is a harrowing prospect, but you seem like intelligent, reasonable people. I'm sure there's no reason to feel...threatened."

George heard a convenience store's worth of alarm bells go off and Nina laughed. "Why don't we all go into the den and get better acquainted?"

Annie eagerly tried to tug her alleged fiance out of his measured stride as she led him into the next room.

Stalling his wife for a moment, George whispered, "Is it just me, or does he seem like a psychotic stalker?"

"George, you're imagining things," Nina murmured back, and then stepped after their daughter. "Are you hungry at all, Sephiroth? Thirsty? Can I get you any water, tea, wine?"

"Thank you, no," answered Seph-whatsits from where he'd already taken a seat. He glanced over to where Annie was practically glued to his side. "I don't need anything."

"So, how did you two meet?" Nina asked as she and George settled themselves and he looked warily at Seph-oss and his coat that opened over bare skin and his very fake looking eyelashes. He looked like he worked somewhere shady.

"Through business, actually."

That wasn't reassuring.

"That's right!" Annie grabbed hold of the recollection. "Sephiroth is part of a company that's looking to expand into America, and even open a branch in LA. They want to hire local contractors and architects. So, it's just like I was in the right place at the right time."

"Not everyone was fluent in English, and since Annie's Japanese is even worse than her Italian -"

"So not! My Italian is much better than yours."

"You do have a wider vocabulary, but my pronunciation is much clearer."

"You just refuse to say anything until you think your accent is perfect."

"At any rate, we spent much of that gathering and subsequent ones speaking together." His tone went from lightly teasing to sincere. "Your daughter has a gift in architecture that is very hard to come by."

Nina and Annie seemed flattered.

George had latched onto the Japanese comment. The guy looked vaguely Asian, but his coloring and well over six foot height weren't typical of the people group. George was starting to have mental flashes of the Yakuza. "What kind of company?"

"I work for an electric company."

"And it's an alternative energy one, Dad."

"What's the sword for?"

"Policy enforcement."

How had he gotten that thing through customs? "You work in security?"

"Frequently, although not always. Currently I'm tasked with building relations with a specific political group that will benefit our long term plans."

"Which one?"

"The Tea Party."

Just what Annie needed, to get embroiled in polarizing politics.

"So you're kind of a diplomat then?" Nina ventured.

"Mmm, a little," Annie put in, and then grinned. "Mostly I think everyone is just afraid to argue with him."

Feeling his brows draw together, George demanded, "Why don't you have a last name?"

"George..." Nina started.

"The question is valid." Mr. No-last-name assured. "My actual parentage is a subject of some debate and I was essentially raised as an orphan. My first name is distinctive enough that I can go by it solely."

"Are you really only twenty-five?"

Fury-ross smiled slightly. "Yes."

Before George could ask if Sephor-something's hair ever got caught in revolving doors, Nina cut in decisively, "Well, I think those are enough questions for tonight."

"Yeah, I really wanted to show Sephiroth some of the local sights," Annie agreed as she stood up.

"I can't wait," Sepharot said as he joined her. "Nina...Mr. Banks...It's been a pleasure."

"Drive carefully," Nina called as she and George trailed after their departing daughter.

"I'll probably be out for awhile," Annie smiled as stepped out the door and the tall man beside her retrieved his sword and put his arm around her shoulders. "Don't wait up!"

The door closed.

"Well, what did you think?" Nina queried.

"I don't like him," said George with conviction.

"Oh, George," Nina sighed and started upstairs. Apparently she was not at all inclined to sit on the couch and wait for their daughter to get home like he wanted to.

"He doesn't have a job title! I'm halfway convinced he's a hitman." He fumed. "And he didn't give her any kind of space, did you see that? He was all over her!"

"Was he?" Nina asked as she started changing for bed.

"He had his hand on her bare knee for half the conversation."

"Well, he had gloves on."

"And that's another thing! What kind of person wears gloves all the time? It's like he's making sure he won't leave any fingerprints after he murders us all!"

"George! Now I know he doesn't look conventional, but that doesn't mean he's a psychopathic killer."

"They have these kind of people on file," he muttered. "I'm going to look up America's Most Wanted. No wait, he 'works internationally'. Which just means no single country has solid information on him. He could have some kind of criminal racquet going on every continent."

"Even Antarctica?"

"That would be a great place for a hideout," George mused as he climbed into bed with his wife. "I'm going to buy a gun."

"Ask Sephiroth before you do. He probably knows all the best models."

George grumbled.

Nina smiled and turned out the light.


A/N: So it turns out that George Newbern has a life outside of playing the voice of Sephiroth. Guess which character he portrays in 'Father of the Bride'! A lot of this scene comes directly from the 'meet the parents' sequence, but hopefully there was enough originality that it was still enjoyable. The title comes from the lyrics of 'One Winged Angel'. I think the translation is something like, Burning Violently Inside With Anger, which is a good description of George Banks' emotional state.

I kind of feel like I shoehorned in the 'Tea Party' prompt in the manner of Diana Barry and the Rolling's Reliable Baking Powder story contest, but I still liked it. 'Taxed Enough Already' is the main Tea Party platform; Shinra probably hates paying taxes. The Tea Party is also accused of being racist and a giant conspiracy; Shinra is all about conspiracy, is arguably racist and crazy Sephiroth is definitely racist. It works on both levels, whether you have a positive or negative view of the Tea Party! Now I feel like a cop-out for pretending I'm neutral, which I'm not. I personally like the Tea Party.

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