ok i know this is really short and stuff but like

this has been on my mind forever and even though it's the other way around this is how i feel and? fuck you if you don't like it

also trigger warning for transphobic slurs


She closes her eyes when she showers. She doesn't look down to see what's there, or, what's not there. Flat chest and something lower she wishes she could just cut off. If only it were that easy. But she's so far away from any type of surgery or hormones. So far away from being who she wants to be.

Her shoulders are too wide to be feminine. Her chest is too flat. Arms too thick. That's what everyone tells her. She can't be a girl for those reasons. Because she likes her hair on the shorter side. Because she doesn't stuff a bra every day to make her appear to have a bigger chest. She isn't 'trans enough'.

It's hard to begin to transition when Pearl keeps being reminded all the reasons why she can't be a women. She doesn't have enough money, no good therapist or doctor. It doesn't help that everywhere she goes, she gets strange looks. Some even call her names. Faggot. Tranny. Shemale. "He's just confused". "He'll get over it". "Why is he wearing a dress".

Do they even realize it hurts? It's not like people can choose how they are. She didn't choose to be born into the wrong body. She didn't want any of this, she just wants to be comfortable in her own skin. And if that means wearing makeup and sun dresses when she wants, she's gonna do it.