A/N: Ehh, so I'm not really aspiring to be a writer of any sort. It would be nice, if I had a talent for it, but I think this shall remain a side hobby whilst my drawing remains the slightly more focused hobby. This was written during an art-block of sorts, so I don't really know if my faildrawings included a failfanfic. But hey, I've seen much, much worse writing... so here goes nothing.
Disclaimer: Yeah... no.
Cascading Complications
Ch. 1: Irony
It was self-deteriorating, sure, her unrelenting insomnia, because it wasn't really the insomnia that was keeping her up. At least, not entirely. She hated dreaming lately, so naturally she tried to avoid it. Or rather, she tried to avoid her. But there were always those days where she couldn't help it, since of course, she didn't really have insomnia at all. She would slip ever so slightly. Namine lived for these slips.
So now, lost in a swirling room in her head, Kairi slowly focused herself. A quick glance around gave her the basics: she was in a pure white room, only slightly bigger than her own. Pure white, that is, besides the colors on top of the hundreds of thousands of papers covering the four walls around her. (Okay, so that was an exaggeration, she would admit to herself, but may as well be the truth).
Other than the drawings, the entire room was furnished with just a small bed with white sheets, and a simple white table with a matching white chair. There was no door. There was no way out, no escape for poor little Kairi. On the table was a box of crayons and even more pieces of paper, one of which the beginnings of a drawing began to creep its way onto the surface. But still, if you squinted at it, you would pretty much see just a blank white paper.
It was blinding, really, all this white.
Kairi groaned as her surroundings registered in her head. This was Namine's room, of all places... she had managed to fall asleep during the Psychology lecture on sleeping disorders. She laughed silently to herself, remembering how she wanted to ditch class today too, if it wasn't for the big fat F plastered over her report cards. That's when she realized her life was filled with ironies.
In her dreams, Kairi never controlled anything but herself. Namine was the queen of Dreamland, while Kairi was the slave to Realtopia. However, Kairi was more of the dreamer, the one who detested rules, the one who often found herself wishing, waiting, wanting to feel something… different. Different than the dull reality she felt trapped in. Namine was the artist, drawing only the things she would see in her visions of reality (or really, they were mostly the things Kairi saw), she would follow the rules, she never complained, never argued. She was the perfect person to have a conversation with. Hell, she was the perfect person period. She wanted to try everything and anything, if only she was given the chance. Kairi wanted to live just so she could dream. Dreaming was much more fun than living anyway. Usually. Dreaming wasn't much fun anymore, ever since she discovered that she was in l-
"Hello," a quiet, meek voice broke the redhead from her thoughts. It wouldn't have been heard if the sealed room wasn't already deadly silent. You could hear a pin drop in here.
Kairi turned slightly, only enough to see the girl behind her, and she quickly turned back as soon as she saw the slightest glimpse of those piercing, bright blue eyes. She lived by the saying that eyes were windows to the soul, and right now, she was very afraid of what could be seen in Namine's soul. Or maybe she was afraid of what Namine would see in hers.
"Hey." she whispered, matching her other half. There was a slight pause, in which Kairi knew she had confused the other girl. But it didn't change anything. Kairi couldn't look at her, she just couldn't. She refused to say anything first, but only because she knew she would blurt out something better left unsaid, because saying it out loud would make it true.
"I haven't… we haven't talked in days," Namine decided to speak first, and Kairi was relieved. But that was only momentary. "I missed you."
With that single statement, Namine succeeded in doubling Kairi's heartbeat, and she hated it.
"… yeah, sorry," was all she could manage to say. She immediately smacked herself (figuratively, of course). After all, what did she have to be sorry for? It wasn't like it was her fault or anything.
"Why won't you sleep? It's bad for you to stay awake all the time, you know."
"I just… I can't help it, okay?" it came out a lot harsher than it was supposed to, but for all anyone knew, it was the truth. If Kairi believed it, then Namine had no choice but to do the same, right?
"You're lying to me. You're not even trying, Kairi."
"No, I…" She paused. "… yeah, sorry."
Kairi wondered. Is this okay? She had just admitted to purposely avoiding the other girl. It was mean of her, but… the truth is better than lying, isn't it? ... Isn't it?
Don't ask why. Kairi shut her eyes. Please don't ask me why.
"… okay then, as long as you know," Namine sighed. "But you know, I really do miss sleeping with you." She giggled, fully aware of the double meaning to her words.
Kairi twitched. Namine noticed.
"Uh. Kairi? Are you alright?" She didn't answer right away. She wondered when exactly their playful banter had become… something more, at least to her. She wondered when exactly she began to think seriously about the things they said to one another. It was painfully ironic, how the color white symbolized purity and innocence to the entire world, and yet she could think of nothing neither pure nor innocent about the girl she associated the color with.
"Kairi?" Her voice was closer. Kairi felt a delicate hand on her shoulder, and she jumped. She didn't really mean to, but she had managed to slap Namine's hand away and take two full steps back all in the second it took to register Namine was within two feet of her. Immediately feeling guilty at the hurt expression on her Nobody's face, Kairi looked down. She couldn't look at her. She couldn't look at those eyes.
"I… sorry. You just," she balled her hands into fists. It was all she could do to keep her emotions in check. "Don't… do that. Please don't do that."
"Don't do what?" Poor Namine. She really had no clue, did she?
This was all so pathetic. They were the same person, weren't they? That's why they were so comfortable with each other before, right? So why now? Why was she feeling so different towards her now? Why did she want to do nothing but push her against the wall and-
"Kairi," Namine's right hand had found it's way to Kairi's cheek, and her left to Kairi's arm. She began to rub it gently; she meant to comfort her, but it wasn't really helping, Kairi decided. She couldn't breathe with her so close. Her face was just a few inches away, all she had to do was lean a little and-
"Kairi, what's wrong with you lately?"
Another step closer.
"Why are you keeping secrets all of a sudden?"
Kairi couldn't move. She could feel Namine's warm breath on her face. It was so tempting.
"Kairi, you know I…"
She never got to finish.
"Kairi! Wakey, wakey, Princess, class is over." Sora grinned and patted her back, as Kairi slowly lifted her head and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.
A/N: That wasn't too horrible. I don't feel as bad about the chapter as I do about the fic title. D':
Ahah. So anyway, the second and third chapters are already written, I just... need to get my butt on proofreading. Please review and leave your thoughts; it'll probably motivate me a little better!
