A/N: Lucius invites his colleagues over for games.

Submission for:

Come Dine With Me: The Wizarding World's Favourite Awkward Dinner-Party Competition: Host - Lucius Malfoy. Guests: Antonin Dolohov, Amycus Carrow, Yaxley

Humorous Death Eater Challenge

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.


"I win again," Dolohov said with a wide grin as he showed his full house to the table, easily beating Lucius' two pair and Carrow's triple eights.

Lucius frowned as he watched his Galleons slide across the dark oak table to the grinning fool. Carrow took a long swig of his whiskey before releasing an unflattering belch. "I'll win that back soon, Dolohov," he said, his words crashing into each other as they left his mouth. Why had he invited them over to take his money and drink his liquor again?

Lucius leaned over and took the man's tumbler out of his hand. "I think you've had enough, Carrow. I'm not putting you into bed and I'm sure Alecto will simply leave you to sleep in the hearth if you collapse there."

Yaxley chuckled, the only one still sober at this little party besides Lucius. The older gentleman had been nursing the same glass of alcohol all night and the level had barely moved. Yaxley was never one to lose his wits around the others.

"Something funny?" Carrow asked the white-haired man.

Yaxley smirked. "Just the fact that you still rely on your sister to tuck you in, Carrow," the older man said.

Carrow scowled and rose a bit in his chair, his fist clenched. "You shut your mouth about-"

"Now, now," Rodolphus said, pushing the angry man back down. "None of that tonight. We're here to have fun and drink on Malfoy's tab."

Lucius scowled. "Don't remind me," he said as the younger Lestrange brother began to share the next hand.

"How about we make things a bit more interesting?" Rowle asked as he received his two cards. "Instead of Galleons, we bet clothing."

Dolohov shoved the blonde man on his right. "I know you're losing but you don't have to resort to clothes like a house-elf," he said.

The others were about to agree with Dolohov when Yaxley spoke up. "Alright then," he said.

Carrow grinned, the liquor still flowing happily through his system. "Now we'll get to see if the stories about your other tattoo are true, Rodolphus."

The Lestrange grinned. "If you really wanted to know, all you had to do was ask," he said as he began to pull his belt.

All the other men held up their hands and erupted into hasty shouts to stop him. "No, no, save it for the game!" Rowle said.

As they all settled in, Lucius refilled his own tumbler of whiskey. He would need to get a bit more drunk to suffer these idiots.


"I'm here to collect my husband," Bellatrix said as she strode through the fireplace connected to Narcissa's bedroom. Since it was early morning, she decided to use this one instead of the one in the parlour, knowing her sister would be sleeping at this time.

"What?" Narcissa asked as she slowly woke up at the noise. Then she jumped. "Bellatrix! What if I had been indecent or-"

"Then I would finally be able to properly evaluate your husband in all aspects. But since that is not the case, I just want to take Rodolphus and go," Bellatrix said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

Narcissa looked to her right at the cold empty space. Their game night was indeed going on a bit too long. She rose from the bed and drew her long robe over herself, leading the way for her sister to follow.

The house was dark and silent as the two women made their way to Lucius' cigar room. Narcissa slowly opened the door and the two women's eyes took in the sight.

Dolohov, Carrow and Rowle were completely naked, their privates exposed for all the world to see as they lay sprawled on the rug near the poker table. Rabastan's shirt was missing and one of his feet was bare while other was still covered as he slept on the couch. Rodolphus lay nearby in only his undergarments, his legs in the air against the base of the couch and his head just a bit too close to the naked Carrow. Lucius was slumped over the poker table, only missing his outer robe and his two shoes. And that left Yaxley who was wearing a few of the other men's missing clothing while having a pile next to him as he leant back in his chair with his mouth wide open, a card stuck to his forehead.

"This is how grown men have fun?" Bellatrix asked, her nose wrinkling at the disgusting smell of warm alcohol rising from their unconscious bodies. She looked at Dolohov who seemed to be sleeping in a small puddle of his own vomit. "Getting drunk and half naked together?" She made to walk out of the room.

"Wait," Narcissa asked, keeping her voice low as not to disturb the sleeping men. "You aren't taking Rodolphus?"

Bellatrix shook her head. "No. It will be quite a pleasant surprise when he wakes up next to Carrow's privates."