A few of these are in the Mortal Kombat section. So I decided to do this.
Link's Answering Machine
Hi, you've reached Link. I'm not home right now. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message, please.
(beep)
Hi, Link, it's Zelda. Ganondorf kidnapped me again. Can you please save me?
(beep)
Link, this is Ganondorf! I've got your girlfriend! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
(beep)
Yo, this is Dark Link! I want my porn back, dude!
(beep)
Vaati, here. You took my sandwich at the Picori Festival! I WILL AVENGE MY SANDWICH!
(beep)
Linkie! It's me, Ilia! Can you help me tie my shoe please?
(beep)
Hey, it's Malo. I need my money, man.
(beep)
Hi Link. It's Midna. Are we still on for Saturday night?
(beep)
This is Malon from Lon Lon Ranch. You're shipment of muffin mix and Lon Lon Milk came in.
(beep)
HEY, THIS IS TALIM! I SLEPT WITH KILIK, XIANGHUA! MUHAHAHAHA! …Oops… wrong number…
(beep)
Ganon again. I also forgot to ask if you have any jumper cables. My car broke down again…
(beep)
Dark Link again. Where the hell is my damn porn?!
(beep)
Hey, it's Saria, Link. What was that red bump on your neck yesterday?
(beep)
Vaati here. I WANT MY DAMN SANDWICH!
(beep)
It's Pit. Did you take my bow and arrow again, Link?
(beep)
Hey, Peach here! Could you please tell Zelda to give me my parasol back?
(beep)
Zelda again. Tell Peach that she's not getting her parasol back until she gives back my dress!
(beep)
Malo again. Dude, where's my money?
(beep)
Pit here. IF I FIND OUT THAT YOU MASTURBATED WITH MY BOW AGAIN, I'LL SHOOT YOUR (bleep)ING HEAD OFF! YOU HEAR ME? (slam)
(beep)
Midna here. Zant's gone crazy again. He turned me back into an imp…
(beep)
Zelda here. Just killed Ganon. I'm fine. Come to my house later so we can have some pizza and watch Dancing with the Stars.
(beep)
Pit again. I found my bow and arrow. It was in Falco's room. Although, I'd like to know what this white creamy substance this is on it…
(beep)
Beth here. Ilia broke into your house and stole your boxers again…
(beep)
This is Dr. Smile's office. We're calling to confirm your root canal appointment for the 22nd.
(beep)
I accidentally killed Zelda with my parasol! What do I do?!
(beep)
This is Veran! Could you kindly tell my sister, Midna, to please GIVE ME MY CROTCH-LESS THONG BACK!
(beep)
It's Zant! You got my Ipod! Give it back!
(beep)
Mr. Link Galestorm, according to our records, you owe Bank of Hyrule 20,374 rupees.
(beep)
Screw you, I'll just have Ralph make me another sandwich…
(beep)
Veran again. Tell Midna I also need my cupless bra! Oh, and tell Vaati that I ate his sandwich.
(beep)
This is Fierce Deity Link! Dude, I need my Double Helix Sword back so I can kick Majora's ass!
(beep)
Yo, Mario! I've got Peach! Bwahahahaha! Oh wait, this is Link's phone. 'Sup, Link?!
(beep)
Hey, Elf Dude, it's Nightmare. Raphael stole Soul Edge from me… again. Can you help?
(beep)
It's Malo! Where's that rupee you owe me? Time to pay up!
(beep)
Hi, Link. It's Farore. Do you have any beer left? Nayru drunk all the Heineken and Din stole my Arbor Mist!
(beep)
Link, it's Midnight. Did you see Grey's Anatomy last night?
(beep)
Midna again. Zant turned me into a poodle. PLEASE HELP!
(beep)
Ooo! Ooo! Ook! Got any food, dude?
(beep)
End of Messages
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