Why did this have to happen to me? Why couldn't it have happened to ANYONE else? My life had been torture, but this exceeded everything I had lived through. Actually, I wasn't even supposed to live through this, but I guess you could say I had a guardian angel on my shoulder.

"Ma'am," the officer addressed me, "Could you please explain again what happened?" Her tone was very soft, almost soothing. I was angry; I had already explained this three times, why did I have to explain it again?!

"I've already told the other officers what happened. I don't have any more details!" My tone of voice was stressed, very anxious. This was a situation no one wanted to be in. Hell, I especially didn't want to be here! The officer wasn't fazed by my tone, I knew she had dealt with worse, but hell hath no fury like a teenager who just witnessed half of her friends die.

"I know, I know. But, I would like to hear the story coming from you. I'm not just an officer you know. I'm actually a licensed therapist, which I guess you could say is a weird combination." She chuckled trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work, not by a long shot. There was no reason in the world to be in a cheery, happy mood right now.

"Fine, you want to know what happened. It started out as a normal night. I had picked my friend Jessica up from her house, and we were supposed to go to this party. Since I had my license, I was basically the designated driver for anyone who needed a ride home," the officer looked at me astounded. Almost as if she had never heard of teenagers drinking. "Yes, there was booze," I continued, "I didn't plan to drink that night because the SAT was tomorrow morning and I didn't want to be hung-over. So anyway, we get to Matt's party and it's a mad house. There are people everywhere, some naked guy passed out on the couch, teenage couples making out everywhere, I was immediately uncomfortable. Something felt wrong to me, so I suggested to Jessica that maybe we should leave and go home. I had only been to a few other parties, but they were tamer than this one…" I took a deep breath, trying not to panic again and relive what happened. "Jessica just told me that I needed to chill and try and have fun. I decided that she was right, because I actually can be kind of uptight. So we found our other friend Michelle, a girl we had both known since we were little. She was already blacked out drunk by this point so I suggested that we take her upstairs to Matt's parent's bedroom and let her sleep it off. Jessica agreed and she helped me carry Michelle upstairs. We put her into bed, covered her up, and then left the room. I told Jeremy what we had done and he said that it was fine, as long as she didn't puke all over his parent's bed. Jessica and I went back down stairs to rejoin the party and then suddenly Jessica melted into the crowd. I was nervous, I had seen my other friends here, but not since we walked in."

"Okay so you're telling me you arrived with Jessica, there was booze, but other than that everything seemed normal?" She questioned.

"No, everything didn't seem normal. Sure, it seemed like a normal party, but something just felt weird." I shifted in the cold padded chair, tugging the blanket around my shoulders for comfort. "Now I was there by myself, Jessica had left me, I couldn't find my other friends, and I couldn't really do anything. By this point I was seriously considering leaving. Screw driving my friends home, I didn't want to stay here and be miserable. Next thing I know, I'm out on the front lawn and I hear this loud creaking noise followed by the smell of what I thought was gasoline. Then, I thought I heard someone say "Oh shit!" and then someone grabs me and throws me aside really, really fast. I hit my whole body on the side of the car and I felt immense pain…" I began to shudder as I recalled the feeling. "Then the house burst into flames and just… the windows blew out, there was glass and wood everywhere. I screamed in terror and began to cry uncontrollably. I tried to get up and run back towards the house to rescue anyone but my legs wouldn't move..." I started to cry again, hot tears running down my cheeks as I became wracked with sobs. The police officer put her hand on mine.

"Take a deep breath, Elena, you're okay now. Everything is okay." She spoke in hushed tones, trying to console me. Take a deep breath, everything is okay?! How the hell could I possibly do that while she was making me recount how I watched a bunch of people die in a fiery explosion! How could ANYONE take a deep breath dealing with that?!

"No! It's not okay! My friends are dead! I shouldn't have escaped… I should have been in there with them, I SHOULDN'T HAVE LIVED!" I wailed as I yanked my hand back from the officer and held my face in my hands, now crying uncontrollably. Why did I have to relive this?

"Okay, we're done questioning you, Elena. Your dad is here to pick you up and take you home, you don't need to worry, you're not in trouble. We will be following up with you soon." The officer stood up and pushed in her chair, walking around to my side of the table and stroking my hair a few times. "I really am sorry about your friends, but at least you made it out." She murmured as she walked out of the room. It wasn't even really a room actually; it felt more like a prison cell. The walls were painted egg shell white, the light bulbs gave off light that was harsh and bright, no doubt put in place to make someone feel uncomfortable. Other than the lights, table, and two chairs, the room was empty. There was no other furniture, no decorations on the wall. The table and chairs weren't even nice. They were made of metal, cold and hard. Luckily there was a tiny bit of padding on the chairs so it didn't feel entirely bad.

Thinking of something else caused me to quit crying so much, so I focused my mind on how I got away. I did not dwell on what happened to the others. I swear it felt like a man had grabbed me and threw me. He must've been really strong, as I'm not exactly a size zero. But how could anyone throw me that far and that hard? I was definitely going to have bruises from being slammed into the car. I'm really surprised that I didn't fracture anything as I must've been flung at least at 20 miles an hour… Did a man really save me, or was it just my mind trying to console itself that it got out okay without any major physical damage? No, if it were a ruse, I most likely would have not remembered flying. Come to think of it, I can't even remember why I went outside… I had no reason to want to go outside.

"Elena! Oh my baby!" a male voice interrupted my thought process. I instantly recognized the voice as that of my own father. I stood up and turned so I was facing the door, and my dad looked like hell. I could tell that he had been crying, most likely in worry for his only daughter. "Come here, I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. The officer explained to me what happened, and your mom is leaving from phoenix tomorrow, cutting her business trip short." My dad opened his arms and I immediately ran into them, the force of my body nearly knocking him back. He smoothed my hair with one hand and rubbed my back with the other "Shhh… Baby girl, it's okay, dad is here. You don't need to worry." I was so thankful that my dad was here, he was my best friend.

"C…can we go home daddy? I want to go home." My voice was small and it honestly didn't sound like me at all.

"Yes, Elena, we're going to go home." My dad picked me up and cradled me against his chest. I immediately relaxed as this was the position he always carried me in whenever something bad happened to me. My dad was so strong, so brave, and so selfless. I truly hoped that one day I'd meet a guy exactly like my dad. I nestled my head against his chest and inhaled deeply, I could smell his cologne, a present my mom gave him two Christmases ago. This smell reminded me of home because he was always wearing it. I closed my eyes and tried my best to block out the mindless chatter going on in the main area of the police station.

"Let me get the door for you, Sir." I heard the female officer's voice again, and for some reason it sounded more annoying and shrill than it had before.

"Thank you, ma'am, I appreciate it." My father spoke in his warmest voice, though I knew when I told him the truth about that woman, and how she questioned me, he wouldn't feel so warm towards her.

"I hope you feel better, Elena. I'm so sorry for your loss." She sounded remorseful as we walked out, but I knew she wasn't remorseful. She was a police officer, what did she care? For all I knew, she thought that I may have purposely set the fire to kill all my friends and some people I didn't know. What motivation could I possibly have for that? What would I get out of killing a bunch of innocent people? The satisfaction of knowing I was capable of murder? I was far from a sociopath!

Within moments we were at the car, a 2014 black Nissan pathfinder, which we had affectionately named Darkness. I loved this car and actually it was supposed to be my birthday gift but I got my license taken away for speeding so I really had no need to drive Darkness. Thankfully I never got in much trouble because of the circumstances surrounding why I was speeding. My grandmother was literally dying in the hospital and I was trying to rush to get there so I could say goodbye to her. She actually raised me for most of my life, as my parents were constantly either working or traveling. She taught me everything I knew, especially how to be strong. This was actually what I was trying to hold onto right now so I didn't come unglued and fall apart at the seams. I was going 65 in a 45 and bam, pulled over and ticketed. This was part of my hatred towards cops, because of them I didn't get to say goodbye to my best friend.

My father set me down on my feet and wrapped one arm around my waist and the other around my neck to support me so I wouldn't fall. I was thankful for that, I wasn't sure my body was even capable of movement. Come to think of it I actually felt pretty weak.

"Easy, Elena, be careful honey." My dad helped me into the front passenger seat of Darkness and leaned the seat back so I'd be more comfortable. He reached to help me put my seatbelt on, but I grabbed his hand and pushed it away.

"I've got it, dad. I still remember how to buckle myself in. I'm not two anymore you know," I smiled, trying to get him to loosen up a bit. "I'm sixteen." My dad smiled back but I could tell that he was forcing it. He shut the car door and I sighed as I pulled my seat belt over me and clicked it into place. His tension didn't help much. Granted I knew he was really worried about me, but still he should relax a bit since I'm safe. As my dad started the car a song came on and there were sirens and fire truck and ambulance noises… My body froze up completely. It took me back to a few hours ago. My dad sensed my fear and turned it off as quickly as he could. He looked over at me and he looked so anguished.

"I'm sorry…" he choked out. I didn't respond and just leaned my head back, closing my eyes as I tried to force myself to calm down and stop my body from shaking. Why was I still feeling like this? I was safe now, I was with my dad and he wasn't going to let anything happen to me, so why was I still so shaken? 'You're in shock; you just witnessed all your friends die. It will hit you in a few days, but you really should rest right now.' A small voice in my head tried to explain why I was really feeling the way I was. I would expect it to be a female voice, but no, it was male. Quiet and soft like velvet. I appreciated the fact that it was giving me a reason, it made things a bit easier to comprehend.

I felt the car come to a stop and I opened my eyes, lifting my head up to look around. I was so relieved to see my house, the wraparound porch, the high pointed roof; it was a fairy tale home. It was my sanctuary. "We're home." My dad sighed and got out of the car, walking around to my side of the car and opening the door. I unbuckled my seat belt, my hands and body cold as ice. "Elena, do you want me to carry you in? Or can you walk?" he questioned me. To be honest, I wasn't totally sure whether I could walk or not. I decided that I would give it a try.

"No, dad, I think I'll be okay getting to my room." I wanted to show that I was okay and that I could handle it. 'Be brave, be strong. Be brave, be strong.' I repeated over and over as I tried to stand up and carry myself inside. I managed to walk about four steps forward before my legs turned to jelly and buckled from underneath me. I cursed mentally as I fell down, time seeming to move in slow motion. Seconds before I hit the ground face first my dad grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me back up quickly. I let out a huge sigh of relief, so thankful that my dad was there for me yet again.

"Easy there," he steadied me, "I should have known that you would have fallen. At least I was there to catch you." My dad smiled, and I laughed weakly. I was physically, emotionally, and mentally drained from the day's events. All I wanted was to go inside and crawl into bed.

"So much for taking the SAT tomorrow… I can kiss my college career goodbye..." I mumbled as we walked through the front door. My dad laughed and flicked on the light.

"Elena, there will be plenty of other opportunities for you to take the SAT. You're only a junior, you'll be okay." He rubbed my back and reassured me, but it didn't do much good. "Now," he continued, "let's get you upstairs and into bed." Carefully my dad helped me hobble up the stairs, easily supporting 90% of my weight. I owed this man so much just in this one night, I'm glad that he was my dad and that he was here. He never stayed around much as I was growing up, so I didn't really have a relationship with him until a few years ago. I'm glad I forgave him from not being there though, I couldn't have wished for a better dad.

"Thanks, dad, for everything." I half-smiled as I climbed into bed. He tucked the covers around me and kissed my forehead.

"Anytime, I am your dad after all. Sleep tight, I'll be right downstairs if you need me." I turned over onto my side and closed my eyes, so thankful for being back in my own bed under my own covers. I heard my dad step out and slowly shut the door, making sure to be quiet so that he wouldn't disturb me. Nothing could disturb me right now; I was too tired and drained.

As I slept, I dreamt. The dreams were so vivid and colorful, it seemed like they were so real. The first dream, and the only one I could totally remember, was the most frightening. I was back at Jeremy's house and Jessica and I were standing there talking after having taken Michelle up to the bedroom to let her sleep off her drunkenness.

"Can you believe that? She got so wasted, and this party hasn't even been going on for two hours! I never expected Michelle to be the first one down" Jessica started to laugh. I laughed too and shook my head.

"Psh. She's such a lightweight! Can't have three drinks without passing out, you know? It's that skinny body of hers, obviously. She's anorexic that's the only way she could stay skinny. Her entire family is like, so obese, I could probably fit six of me into their jeans!" What was coming out of my mouth? I would have never talked about anyone, especially a friend, like that! I wasn't even skinny! I was like 160 pounds standing at 5'6.

"Ouch, 'Lena, that's a little harsh!" Jessica chided me. I shrugged, what the hell was wrong with me?!

"Harsh? No way. Don't defend her we all know you have bulimia, so you have nothing to be defending her about." I laughed like I was telling a joke, Jessica didn't laugh and I knew that I had crossed the line. Oh no. What had I done?

"You spiteful little bitch." She spoke each word with venom in her voice. "I thought you were my friend. I thought you were her friend. You took it way too far. Fuck off, Elena. I don't need someone like you driving me home!" Jessica stormed off and I just stood there with my mouth open. How dare she call me a bitch! I had been nothing but nice to her from day one!

"Oh whatever," I grumbled under my breath. I didn't want to take her home anyway, "stupid party, stupid friends, stupid life, stupid house!" I stormed off upstairs to go check on Michelle and make sure she was still alive. I could hear the music from downstairs and suddenly that was the only thing I could hear, the music was pounding in my ear so loudly that I couldn't even hear myself think.

I opened up the door to Jeremy's parent's bed room and looked at the bed. Michelle was laying there on her side facing away from me. "Michelle? You okay?" I screamed over the music. How was she not waking up with that loud stereo? I walked over to the bed and shook her shoulder. "MICHELLE! WAKE UP! WE NEED TO GET YOU HOME!" I had to scream louder and my voice was growing hoarse. I shook her shoulder and turned her over but as I did that the skin melted off of Michelle, she was nothing but bones. I gasped and jumped back in terror. She was just fine 20 minutes ago! I turned around and began to sob, so upset and so scared and so confused. Suddenly, the music stopped. I could hear myself think and everything was eerily quiet.

"You did this..." I heard Michelle's voice, barely a whisper in the wind, "It's your fault." Stunned I turned around to see her skeleton standing in front of me, glaring at me with such intensity. I couldn't speak, I couldn't think, I couldn't move. "You let me die. You let Jessica die. You let all your friends die." Michelle taunted me. I smelled gasoline and felt an intense heat.

"No! NO!" I screamed and busted down the door trying to get out. I nearly fell down the stairs because I was running so fast. As soon as I reached the bottom step everything was in a charred state. The smell of burnt flesh and burnt furniture filled my nostrils. The sight alone nearly made me throw up but the smell made it ten times worse. "I didn't do this! I didn't do it, it's not my fault!" I cried out as I took a look at all of the charred bodies lying on the floor in front of me. I could see the horror on their faces, their bodies locked up in terror as they died a slow painful death. The house melted away and I was standing underneath a light blue sky. I breathed in a huge sigh of relief that the nightmare was over. That I got away from those people.

"You killed us. You killed us." Voices began to chant over and over in unison. I could hear each individual voice. The bodies were all conscious now and standing in front of me, I was unable to move.

"Why, Elena?" Jessica cried, "Why did you let me die like this? Why did you let any of us die? You could have stopped it! You could have stopped it…" the bodies vanished and the voices were now just whispers in the wind. I immediately sat down and pulled my knees against my chest rocking back and forth as I sobbed. I was trying to hold myself together while also trying to block out the voices. "It wasn't my fault!" I howled over and over into the wind, "I didn't mean to!"

"Elena!" My dad shook my shoulder and I shot up in my bed, letting out a small scream. "Elena! What's wrong?!" my dad put both of his hands on my face and I started sobbing uncontrollably again. Oh thank god! It was a dream! It wasn't real!

"It wasn't real! I was dreaming the whole time! Oh what a relief! I have to call Jessica and Michelle!" I tried to get out of bed but my father gripped my shoulders and pushed me back down. "Dad, I have to call them, I know it's late but I have to call them!"

"Elena. You can't call them. It's three in the morning." He tried to reason with me.

"But dad, I dreamt that there was a big house fire and that I was the only one who escaped! Michelle and Jessica and everyone else didn't make it out. But it was only a dream!" I cried tears of joy, so happy to know that I didn't kill my friends!

"Honey… That wasn't a dream…" My dad put his hand on top of mine and squeezed it tightly. My breath caught in my throat and the tears stopped. It… was… real… I did kill them... Oh my god…

"No… NO! I killed them! I killed all of my friends!" I was in a state of disbelief. All of that actually happened? I was at the party, and the house caught fire, oh my god…

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." My dad sat on my bed and cradled me against his chest, slowly rocking back and forth. "Breathe, Elena. Take slow deep breaths, try and calm down." My whole body was wracked with sobs and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't catch my breath.

"Oh daddy I killed them... Jessica, Michelle, Jeremy, Angelica, Clarissa…" I whimpered.

"No, baby, no you didn't kill them. You didn't start the fire, you just got lucky. There was absolutely nothing you could have done. It's not your fault, Elena; it's not your fault." My dad tried to soothe me and get me to relax but even though he kept telling me it wasn't my fault, I felt like it was my fault. I could've stopped Jessica from dying at least if I would have just brought her home.

"Sweetie, daddy is going to give you a little something to relax, okay? It's a pill, just swallow it and you'll be fine." My dad reached into his pocket and pulled out a pill bottle. "Let me go get you a glass of water." He smiled as he tossed the pill bottle onto the bed. It was dark so there was no way I could see what medication it was. I know my dad would never intentionally give me something that would harm me, but I was still a little nervous about taking a pill that didn't belong to me. What if I died? I'd already come close to death once today, I didn't really need to risk a second one.

My dad came back in and sat on my bed, handing me the glass of water. "Um, dad," I paused for a moment, taking a drink as he opened the pill bottle. "What medication are you giving me..?" I could hear the nervousness in my voice, so I know he could hear it too.

"Seroquel, it's to help you sleep. Remember when I went through that really bad anxiety phase and couldn't sleep? Well," he smiled, "this is the medication they gave me to help me sleep. I would give you a Xanax but um… That's my medicine." He handed me two little pills and I quickly put them into my mouth, took a big drink, and swallowed them.

"How long does it take for it to start working?"

"Oh it only takes about 15 minutes or so. I'll go ahead and sit here with you until you fall asleep." He put the pill bottle back into his pants pocket and I lay back down, turning over onto my left side so I would feel most comfortable. My dad began to hum my lullaby, one that he had been humming since the day he and my mom brought me home from the hospital. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, wiping my eyes off on my sleeves to get rid of the excess tears. I was getting a tiny bit better at stopping them as soon as I realized that crying wouldn't really help me at all.

My dad was right. About 10 or so minutes later I passed out, taking a big sigh of relief as I finally felt like I'd be able to sleep without another nightmare. "Sweet dreams, Elena." My dad kissed my head and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him again. I settled off into a peaceful and blissful sleep.