DISCLAIMER: ALL CHARACTERS ARE THE PROPERTY OF GOSHO AOYAMA
Something Left Unsaid
Dear Heiji,
This is a letter I am never going to said. Tomo, I would, but I don't know your address in heaven.
If you were here right now, you'd probably laugh in my face. You'd tell me that I'm an idiot, that I should just forget about you because it's not like you're ever going to answer. I would yell at you for being inconsiderate, and we would get into a screaming fight in the middle of the street. I'd come home with tears streaming down my face, and my father would ignore me because this happens every day. I'd write in my diary how I hate you and never want to see you again, then the next morning, I'd be banging on your door yelling at you that we're going to be late for school.
The funny thing is, we were always late for school. I was on time yesterday, and Fukuda-sensei half-smiled at me. I think she figured out that it was a bad idea, though, because her smile froze midway. She looked like a deranged version of a Power Ranger, and I drew a picture of it because it's the first time I've laughed in two weeks. If you were here, I would show you. You'd laugh too, then you'd tell me that I can't draw. We'd get into that same screaming fight, but I'd still be at your door the next morning.
Heiji, have you ever wondered why I was at your house every morning? The one time I wasn't, the day Mom died, you were at mine. I didn't want to go to school, but you dragged me out of bed and forced me in front of you. You even went to all of my classes with me, just to make sure I wouldn't leave. Afterwards, you took me around the city. All thoughts of Mom flew from my mind, because you threw them out. I felt so guilty afterwards, like such a terrible daughter. But you convinced me that Mom would have wanted me to have fun. You were the reason that I wasn't constantly crying for the next three months, because of what you told me that day.
Heiji, I love you. I feel like an idiot saying it now. It's useless. There's no point. Even if you had loved me back, it doesn't matter anymore. I will never know, and I'm not sure I want to. But I have to tell you. I know that, logically, it's impossible that this message will ever reach you. I don't care. Just for this letter, I'm not going to trust logic because logic doesn't explain any of the emotions here. Logic doesn't explain love, or mourning, or even relief at finally getting all of this off my chest. Logic can't explain my heart. So, in this letter, I'm going to simply have faith and believe that you're receiving all that I tell you.
The thing is, I can't love you forever, Heiji. I have for seven years, but I don't want to spend seventy. You will always possess a corner of my heart, but I need to move on. Just like Mom, I don't think you'd want me to spend all my days pining for someone I will never have. I don't want to either. So I'm going to live. I'm going to learn to love somebody else, and perhaps one day I will love him as much as I love you. But before I change my fate, I needed to tell you that I love you. I'm not sure why. I guess I just need you to know.
Goodbye.
Love,
Kazuha
A/N: This was actually something I wrote for my Creative Writing class, but I was reading it over and realized just how perfect it was for H/K. Please review! Constructive criticism would be appreciated, especially if you're a writer. Thank you
