Hello again. Sith here, bringing more fanfics. They're abstract, I know, but somehow I can't stop. If you haven't read Repercussion then, frankly, I don't think you'll get this at all.
Warning: This is a story that implies a male/male relationship. If you're not that sort of person, then please don't read.
Begin and enjoy at will.
--
Threshold
--
There are those who can stand pain.
There are those who ignore pain.
And there are those who cannot resist the feeling.
--
Before the pain was different, a sensation that belonged to those intertwined in lust. But to you, it had been blunt.
Like a fist to your face, it hurt.
Was it because it was forced?
Or was it because you liked it that way?
--
Who cares now? You got to avenge that misdeed.
--
But it never went away, did it?
This time, it's new.
--
The pain is light. Sometimes it's stronger, other times weaker. Nevertheless it's still there, pulsing, beating with guilt.
Yet you try to forget it, or you stand fast through it. You shrug it off, focus on other, more important tasks before giving it any thought.
Your friends notice your strained expressions and question your wellness.
But you always reprimand with a smile. A fake smile, of course.
However
You can't forget what you did.
--
Weeks later, it's gotten strength. You can't stand it, but you can at least ignore it. A smile, a mask, whatever to hide the truth.
You won't admit it. You're too proud for that. You'll skip it only to feel better.
If it twinges, you'll say you stubbed your toe. If it aches, you say you're tired. If it squeezes you tight and never let's go, then all you say that you're sick.
But it's still there.
It won't go away.
Unless you admit the truth.
--
Roll around in a bed sheet, remembering what happened that day.
You heard cries. You heard 'Please, God no'. And begging and tries for forgiveness.
What happened next?
A gunshot.
--
It's much later now. Are you going to do it?
Will you admit your crime?
Or
Carry through the pain?
--
You're there again.
He's won. He was right when he said you couldn't ignore your guilt.
Your threshold is gone.
You can't take it anymore.
You can't take guilt too well.
Funny.
He's still in that position you left him in.
Yet he reeks of the dead.
The bullet hole looks new, even though it's been months. A dark round circle encases that spot.
Remember when that fluid started spilling out?
Remember when he cried beneath your feet?
Odd, you thought you'd like that idea.
You thought you wouldn't care the least at all.
But you did.
--
Now's he's gone. Just a fresh mound of dirt. You buried him. You buried him deep.
Was it because you respected him?
Or
Was it because you wanted to forget?
--
There are those who can stand pain.
There are those who ignore pain.
And there are those who cannot resist the feeling.
-Owari
