Full Summary: Despite how much he might hate his git of a Professor, Harry can't help but feel guilty for invading Snape's private memories... especially considering what those memories contained. Meanwhile, even as Snape realizes Potter is yet again up to something, he cannot stop himself from recalling that first summer he knew Lily and when all of the apologies began...
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Harry Potter and am therefore making no profit whatsoever off of this one-shot. D:
Author's Note: This is my first fanfic in the Harry Potter field. Yay! I did my best to keep everyone as in character as possible as it is a huge pet peeve of mine. This story is compliant to Order of the Phoenix. Feedback would be greatly appreciated, especially as far as characterization goes.
Also, anyone who may have seen this story once before… I had a great inner debate on whether to post it on this account or not. While the idea of starting a fresh account with new and improved stories was appealing, I decided I'd prefer everything to remain on this account, along with my old stories, and have therefore taken down the story on that other account. Apologies for the confusion and inconvenience. -frets-
It was a blistering summer day the time she approached him of her own volition.
The boy with the greasy black hair squatted on the sidewalk underneath the shade of an oak, poking halfheartedly at the ants skittering around his intrusive feet. Despite the warmth of the day, he sported a black sweater to cover whatever intrusive bruises may have occurred from the morning's happenings. His father, a bitter muggle man who was quick to anger, had become master of holding his tongue with his boy while dear Eileen was around. But when she wasn't around… well, that was a different story. He rubbed his arm where his father's too harsh of a grip had held him earlier that morning.
It was wise of him to wait for Eileen to slip out before expressing his anger toward Severus. While his mother wouldn't raise her own wand against him, she did not hesitate to raise it for Severus. Of course, her power over Tobias didn't stop them from fighting constantly or Tobias at lashing out at either of them. And even if he was hurting now, he wouldn't mention anything from this morning, if only to keep his parents from fighting again.
Severus hated it. Hated that his mother wouldn't just hex him and have him gone from their lives. And he didn't understand love at all. Even if his mother told him it would all make sense one day. How powerful was love that you chose to live miserable day in and day out just to satisfy it?
It was absurd.
As the boy simmered in his eleven years of thought, he jammed the end of the stick harshly at one of the ants, bits of spark igniting where the twig had connected with pavement. Uncontrolled magic. It only served to egg his fury on, a miniature Earthquake that only he was aware of erupting beneath his feet, causing the ants to scurry haphazardly into one another. The boy was practically seeing red as he felt his contained anger continue to boil ferociously inside him when he heard it.
"Lily, don't!"
His head snapped up at the warning squeak and all movement beneath his feet ceased. As he glanced behind his shoulder where he knew the fields dividing his own family's flat in Spinner's End from the Evans' to be, he saw the two girls - one with distinguished pointed features hanging back behind the tree providing his shade. This girl was Tuney, as he'd heard the other girl refer to her many a time while watching. She was older than the other and carried the same flair of negativity his father often displayed, Severus reminded himself with distaste. She stood with her arms crossed haughtily, hanging back as her younger sister continued to inch toward Severus.
Lily… After she'd flounced off with her sister the first time he'd spoken to her, Severus had been working up what to say to her. Maybe apologize, though he felt he had nothing to apologize for. As she walked toward him, he scrambled to his feet, the twig still unconsciously clutched in his hand.
"Lily, I'm telling Mummy you're too close to the road again!" Petunia exclaimed shrilly, going as far as to stomp her foot as her sister continued to pay her no mind.
"Hello." The dark red hair hung over her shoulders, her cheeks rosy from having played too hard in the hot sun and her green eyes pierced his petulant black ones. Severus could hardly believe she was willingly speaking to him.
"…Hi." He awkwardly replied, glancing curiously between Lily and Petunia. Her older sister, flustered at her sister's lack of response, turned in the direction they'd come from and ran off. "You're going to get in trouble…" He trailed off as his eyes continued to follow her sister's retreating form.
At this, Lily glanced back to see that her sister had indeed followed through on her threat. Or acted like she was going to. "Can't get in trouble if I'm not caught in the act… Come on." And with a jolt in his stomach, the girl he'd been watching for so long took hold of his wrist and ran into the trees, tugging him along. They ran silently until they'd reached a clearing in the wood Severus was unfamiliar with. She let go of his wrist as they slowed to a walk, the boy's pale fingers rubbed where her fingers had just been. It was a bizarre, unfamiliar sensation. "I come here all the time and Mum doesn't mind." She assured him, finding a stump to sit on after brushing the dead leaves and twigs from it. It was only as she was doing this that he realized he'd kept his fingers clenched this whole time around the stick he'd been using against the ants and hastily discarded it.
"You know my name, don't you? What's your name?" She started on him, looking up calmly into his pale face.
"What does it matter to you? I'm just, 'that Snape boy'." Severus bitterly replied, recalling Petunia's words and ignoring her first question. If she already knew, then why did she ask? He'd admitted he'd been watching her after all. Still, he was puzzled by this sudden attempt at conversation. If he wasn't good enough according to her family, then why was she even bothering?
Lily in turn ignored Severus' own questions, shooting off a couple more of her own. "What makes you think I'm a witch? What does… Why did you call Tuney… a… a…" She struggled, trying to remember the word the boy had used.
"A muggle?" He supplied, relaxing as he understood her motive finally. She wasn't going to yell at him further, or at least he hoped not. Maybe she even believed him… "That means non-magic folks. They're not like you and me." He stated, glancing down hopefully at her. After a moment's consideration, Severus plopped down so he wasn't towering over her.
"But how do you know?" She asked again with insistence. She herself knew she was different… she'd always known. But she still had to hear it from him… from this person who claimed to know what she was.
"Well that's obvious, isn't it?" Severus exclaimed with a hint of excitement. "What you did with the flower…" He blushed as he recalled it. He'd been absolutely impressed and had therefore been unable to contain himself as Petunia freaked out over the situation. "Only magic could allow you to do something like that."
"And can you do magic?" Her face filled with awe at the thought of being able to see.
"Well… not easily." Severus admitted with a bit of embarrassment, cheeks flushing further still. "It happens when I'm not expecting it." Unlike you, Severus thought to himself. His magic displayed when his emotions were out of control, like most ordinary young witches and wizards. Severus had never heard of a witch or wizard not of age who could perform controlled wandless magic willingly and as well as Lily could. Especially a muggle-born one.
Lily's face fell at this. It was obvious she'd been hoping for Severus to prove himself.
With a bout of determination, he scooped up a dead leaf with his hand and closed his eyes, concentrating hard for some of the rage he'd been dealing with from the morning.
'Never asked yourself why your mother can't even bloody well look at ya?' 'Soddin' excuse of a…' 'She never even wanted a kid!'
Lies, lies, lies!
A sharp intake of breath brought him out of his reverie and with a bit of surprise, opened his eyes to find the leaf he'd held in his palm dancing on fire around his palm. He scrambled up, dropping the leaf to the ground. Severus quickly pulled the sweater from his figure, his attention focused on staunching the small fire before it spread to other dead leaves as he dropped it over the leaf, stomping almost frantically. He pushed the plague of his father's words to the back of his mind once more.
"…Sorry. I just… don't always know what's going to happen." He mumbled, ashamed. He'd been hoping he could levitate the leaf… or… well, do something cool rather than something scary, anyway.
After a moment of tentative silence, Lily slid from the stump, her knees resting on the forest floor beside Severus as she picked up a dead leaf for each palm. Her eyes were opened, concentrated. After a moment, she watched as the leaves in either hand began flapping like butterflies, taking off to the air and fluttering around Severus' head lazily. He watched in awe as one affectionately brushed by his cheek, before remembering the leaf was an inanimate object, not a living thing.
"…How do you do that?" Severus exclaimed in awe, reaching out for one of the leafy orange butterflies, which fluttered out of his reach and soared up, up, up…
Lily had stood… she'd heard her mother's voice vaguely in the distance, though she could tell Severus hadn't. With a bit of a smile, she ironically answered, "Magic." She started off toward where Severus knew her house to be. "See you around, Snape!" She called cheerfully, waving. If she didn't hurry, her mother would be furious with her.
"Severus! It's Severus!" The greasy-haired boy called after her, disappointed to see her go so soon.
"Bye, Severus!"
Severus closed his eyes briefly, allowing the unwanted memory to singe in his mind's eye before opening them again, coldly observing the Slytherins on one end of the room struggling to brew that day's assignment, the Gryffindors on the other end. It had been a few classes since the Pensieve incident and Severus was trying as vigorously to force that from his mind as he did of hateful words from his father when he was young.
It wasn't going well. Especially when Potter was throwing him furtive looks whenever he thought the Professor wasn't watching.
Whatever the boy was planning, Severus wasn't having it. And so, with concentrated effort, he deigned it necessary to completely ignore the Potter boy. As far as he was concerned, he no longer existed in his classroom.
…If only those piercing green eyes would quit following his every movement.
It was an affront to his memories of Lily, really. Before she'd finally given in to James' doting in their seventh year, that is. He was James with Lily's eyes. It was insulting. Severus placed an elbow on the desk, head in his hand as he appeared to be concentrating heavily on the text he was reading from.
Some days, he didn't know whether he was angry with Lily for everything or simply mourning her loss. What right did he have to be angry at her? For being such a stunning person he could never forget her. For being that kind of unbridled energy that even in his darkest moments, she could brighten his day. To allow herself… to let that riffraff indulge in that energy… For just being there and he could not, for the life of him, imagine a childhood without Lily Evans. He was furious for the bane of his beloved friend's past existence. And still so very crushed at the lack of it now.
Anger and sadness. He switched so constantly between the two like a flickering candle before bottling them away furiously to concentrate on the trapped life he now lived. Though deep down, he could always admit that he brought all of this on himself. Admit that his rage was misdirected at James' son. Admit that he was every bit as bitter and angry as his father had been…
His snide expressions never gave way to his turmoil of thoughts. They were best dealt with ignored.
An explosion filtered into the air, interrupting the occasional whispers, chopping, and simmering sounds. Without looking up, Severus growled, "Twenty points from Gryffindor… You would think, Mr. Longbottom, after five years your simpleton mind would grasp some small portion of the concept behind Potions, but no..." The man drawled, finally lifting his eyes to give Neville a withering look.
As the end of class drew nearer, students rose from their seats to hand the professor samples of their potion for grading while he recited their essay to be written and completed by next class in a bored sort of tone. While a few groans were still apt to fill the air in the classroom, these assignments were nothing out of the ordinary for the Potions Master.
As Harry Potter drew up to his desk, the Professor had half a mind to 'accidentally' drop his potion once again but upon taking the flask, he'd already deemed the result Dreadful at best. Severus found himself staring at Potter's clothed torso (for he refused to look in the boy's eyes willingly with memories of Lily resting so close to the edge of his mind lest they stir again) as the boy simply stood there. When he failed to return to his table, Severus brought his venomous glance upward and raised an eyebrow as Harry continued to stare down at him, the boy's face contorted as if torn by two decisions bickering in his mind. "Fifteen points, Mr. Potter for holding up the rest of the class. Return to your seat. Now." He growled out, watching as a hint of a scowl washed over the young man's face and he turned on the spot, marching back to his seat to allow the other students to approach.
If Severus claimed he was at all irked by the boy's actions, it would be an understatement.
By next class, the furtive glances had turned into blatant staring. Though Severus had a feeling it was more of a distracted stare than a concentrated one. Nevertheless, he found himself taking points every time Harry drifted off into whatever thoughts were causing him to stare blankly at his Professor. He even took note of Hermione's occasional nudge whenever she'd caught him at it. Severus would never admit he was the slightest bit grateful for the gesture.
The answer to his unasked question revealed itself after class as he found himself alone with none other than The-Boy-Who-Lived. It was painfully obvious that he'd purposely hung back, slowly packing and repacking his bag as the rest of his classmates filed out.
As practiced, Severus soundly ignored him, almost hoping the insolent teenage brat would take the hint and run along. His instincts told him this had something to do with the Occlumency event and it was not up for discussion.
"Professor…" Harry had successfully crammed all his work and Potions book back in his bag and had made his way back to Severus' desk. Severus noted, with a slight smug satisfaction, the upgrade he'd made from his normally gritted out 'Sir'.
"Expanding your delinquencies to bounds other than sneaking out late at night? Stealing important potion ingredients from my very own cupboards… Sticking your nose where it doesn't belong…" Severus exclaimed waspishly, "And now? Deliberately skipping class? I think not Mr. Potter…" He stood impatiently from his seat, as if to make a point as he towered over the student he loathed so much.
"With all due respect… Sir… This is my free period." Harry replied, that temper of his flaring much sooner than the boy had meant for it to. He never could keep his cool around the Professor.
"Be that as it may, class has been dismissed and you are by no means exempt from the rest of your class, no matter how special or important you might think yourself to be." Severus replied slowly, shuffling through several papers on his desk as if giving Potter his cue to leave.
And despite how much Severus could tell that Harry was seething from his words, his hand gripping his bag with unusual force, knuckles white from the pressure, he still remained as he was. His jaw was clenched and he could tell the boy was gritting his teeth. Severus could give him credit for one thing… the boy was stubborn. He vaguely remembered how stubborn Lily could be, ignoring him when she was angry enough…
"Sir," Harry started up again, determined. "It's just that, the other day-"
Severus held up a hand, effectively cutting him off. "I don't want to hear any pathetic excuses as to how dismal your grades are, redundant thoughts going through that arrogant little brain of yours, any of it. Get out." He snapped, unable to hold his temper back. Ah yes, he was still quite furious about the memory Potter had seen.
The boy's face flushed with anger as he glared back at Severus. He made a jerky motion, as if he'd planned to stomp off and changed his mind a split second before doing so. "But-" He tried again, his tone irritable.
"I said get out!" Severus exclaimed, one hand connecting with his desk as his other had grabbed for the wand up his sleeve. Harry wisely took note of this and without another word, hoisted his bag behind him and stormed out. Whatever he'd been planning to say or ask had hopefully been dispelled as the man struggled to regain his temper in the next hour he had before his N.E.W.T class came through.
As students clamored through the corridors to reach the Great Hall later that day, Harry found his friends at the Gryffindor table, taking his seat between Ron and one of the twins. Hermione sat to Ron's left, immersed in what Harry could only assume to be 'light' reading.
Ron attacked his plate with a vigor that matched a newborn darkling's the moment the food had appeared. Harry knew he'd been out on the field beforehand, practicing his Keeping skills which had yet to improve in a team practice. Hermione patiently finished the paragraph she was working on, knowing the food would not cool down under the enchantments the elves had placed. As the book found it's way back in the bag, Hermione glanced over at her two friends as if just noticing they'd arrived.
"You never did tell us why you stayed after class, Harry." She said offhandedly as she reached for her fork and knife to start in on her meal. Ron shot Harry a knowing look, his cheeks puffed out with food. They both were well aware of what she was hoping to finally hear from Harry. She'd been nagging about it for the past week, after all.
"Dropped my edible quill… You know how the teachers feel about those. Would've been even more points from Gryffindor if he'd noticed it under our table, the git." Harry murmured darkly. He felt a bit guilty for the fib but as he'd promised himself not to reveal to anyone what he'd seen, it was necessary. Even if Snape didn't appreciate the unknown gesture. Harry wasn't gloating over what he'd seen and neither would any of his classmates. The Gryffindor gazed up at the staff table with clear annoyance, unconsciously catching Severus' eye as he did so before turning back to Hermione.
"Well, you should've asked Professor Snape about those Occlumency lessons while you had the chance!" Hermione said reprovingly. "You know Professor Dumbledore wouldn't have asked you to learn Occlumency unless it was extremely important. You-"
"'Er-my-'ee, escht eat 'or food 'nd leave 'Arry outto et." Ron exclaimed through one giant mouthful, successfully cutting Hermione off. She stared at him with disgust for a full minute, as if working out a reply before deciding against it and turning to her food with a slight shake of her head. She didn't bring up Snape or Occlumency again for the rest of the night, though Harry wouldn't be surprised if it came up the following morning.
Without wasting another thought on Snape and what he'd like to say to him exactly if he'd ever get the chance (all apologies aside), Harry stabbed at his food, blissfully unaware of the obsidian eyes that were boring into his own skull for a change.
Severus had hoped that by next class, Potter would've concentrated his energies on the upcoming O.W.L.s rather than his newfound obsession to stare his teacher down whilst he roamed the classroom or sat at his desk. He was disappointed, however, as his eyes once again found the enticing green that had once belonged to Lily.
Irked was no longer a statement here. The simple action was getting under his skin and the Potions Master found he was much more than simply aggravated. It didn't matter how many points he took from Potter, how much he ignored him, how much he scorned him, or how often or hard Granger kicked him from underneath their table.
Infuriating Potter in turn only served to have the boy glare at him instead of deter him from his glazed stares, as if he was working out something. He could almost hear the gears clinking around in that empty head of his, though he had absolutely no desire to know what they were clinking about. Severus was beginning to wonder if breaking the rule about teachers using spells against students would be worth it. With Umbridge as Headmistress (though Severus felt certain it wouldn't last but maybe the rest of the year, if that), he was positive he could get away with it. Still, he felt he had to honor Dumbledore's rule even with as irritating as the old man could be.
As class came to an end, he watched as his students hastily packed… or at least, all but one. Hermione threw Harry a meaningful look before she lugged Ron behind her out of the class. Severus had to physically hold back a sigh by biting the inside of his lip.
He set to grading papers, waiting for Potter to attempt a second approach to his desk. However, when he didn't, Severus glanced up to find the boy silently reading through his Charms textbook as if he were at home in the Gryffindor common room. This time the man did let out a sigh, setting down his quill with unnecessary force. "Potter…"
"Yes, Professor?" Harry peeked up from his book, feigning a look of innocence. They both knew what he was doing here, to an extent, and Severus did not find this behavior by any means cute.
"What do you think you're doing?" He asked in a quiet dangerous tone.
"Studying, Sir. My first O.W.L. in Charms is coming up soon, so I'm taking advantage of this free period I have." Harry replied in a matter-of-fact tone, turning his attention back to his book. Cheeky twit, Severus thought to himself with a newfound flourish of disdain.
"Unless I am mistaken, they have something called a library for that, Mr. Potter." The Potions Master responded tersely, picking his quill up yet again and viciously marking a paper with 'T'.
"True." Harry agreed, pulling out a piece of parchment, quill, and ink. The sounds of the quill scratching against the parchment followed not long after as Harry began an essay he'd been assigned. "…But I've come to the conclusion that studying here will have it's perks." He said evasively, scratching out a word he'd not meant to write. Snape was beginning to think he was doing this on purpose simply to distract him from his own work.
"Which would be…?" Severus pressed on, turning his eyes back to the essay he was supposed to be reading through.
Harry merely shrugged.
For the rest of the free period, instead of engaging Potter, he again chose to pretend the boy didn't exist. Whatever he was playing at, Severus refused to indulge him by getting himself worked up over the boy's presence. It would be counterproductive to do so otherwise, right? The two worked silently on their own work, as if the other weren't there. Severus found after the initial annoyance, it was rather not that different from when he was alone in the room. Potter made surprisingly quiet company and halfway through the hour, Severus had almost led himself to believe that he wasn't really there at all… Except if he looked up, he'd see the annoyingly unkempt hair of his notoriously stubborn student.
As the free period came to an end, Harry gathered his things and made for the door, causing the professor to feel a bit of relief at his departure. Right before Harry completely left the classroom, he raised a hand in farewell and exclaimed, "See you tomorrow, Professor!"
And just as soon as the words had left his mouth, he was gone. Severus almost wondered if he'd said them at all.
How bloody infuriating.
A solid week had passed after Severus' uncontrolled fury had caused the branch to fall and hit Petunia.
Every day, Severus had made a point to sit within the thicket where they normally relaxed, just the two of them. It was their spot, away from the Evans' household and down by Spinner's End. It was one of the few places where Lily's annoying older sister wouldn't venture to scorn them, though last week had been an exception. And now Severus sat, waiting for Lily to cool down and come back to him. Yet she had not shown for nearly a full week now and Severus was beginning to wonder if his accident meant she would cease being his friend.
It was eating him up from the inside. As Severus sat by the river, he twisted his fingers, jerking at every little sound in the hopes that Lily was making her way toward him but still… the sounds were nothing.
It was with a heavy heart that he came to the conclusion he was going to have to apologize, though it wasn't his fault Petunia had made him so angry it'd caused a branch to fall on her big stupid head. Severus crossed his arms furiously at the thought. He was going to have to work on this apology thing.
His mother always made him apologize whenever he spoke his mind when his father's tongue was lashing. His father never offered him any apologies in return. In fact, if anything his son's forced remorse only fueled the man's scornful words.
Severus was quite accomplished at being quietly sorrowful, forcing respectful words to drop from his tongue if only to satisfy his father long enough so that Severus could run outside and do his own thing. He'd been trained to deliver whatever his father wanted to hear. However, something told him that Lily would see through him and know he was only apologizing so that she would speak to him again and that he wasn't really all that sorry for scaring Petunia like that.
He was sorry that she wasn't talking to him. Sorry that she was mad at him. Maybe he could work with that. The future Slytherin may not have been blessed with social skills but he did have that kind of determination that allowed him to work toward what he wanted with an unrelenting perseverance. And Merlin, he wanted to be on speaking terms with Lily once again.
With that thought strung in mind, he set off to find Lily Evans. She'd hear his apology, even if he had to throw pebbles at her bedroom window all night long.
Harry continued staying after each of his Potions class to study for exams or to work on assignments. The second day he'd stayed, (Severus had thrown him an exasperated look but otherwise remained silent) it had felt oddly routine and Harry knew he'd be just as ignored as he had the day before. This suited the Gryffindor just fine as he was likely to get more of his work done in a quiet atmosphere rather than whilst bickering with his Professor.
The only perks Severus could see of Harry using his classroom as a place to study was that it frustrated the man to no end. On the fourth day of Harry's stay, Severus found himself reading for his own enjoyment rather than tending to the tedious task of grading papers. The sound of the quill scratching against the parchment was more prominent than ever before.
Upon reading the same sentence he'd been working on a third time, Severus carefully set down his book to glower at Potter. "Must you make so much noise?" He hissed, causing Harry to blotch his paper as he jumped at the sudden spoken words, much to Severus' satisfaction.
Harry blinked up at his Professor. It was the first time he'd bothered to say anything to him since his after-class days had started. "I didn't realize I was making any more noise than usual." He said without a slightest hint of contrite as he glanced back down at his work.
Something struck out at Severus in his choice of words. Usual. He wasn't making any more noise than usual. His lip curled distastefully. "You are a hindrance to my concentration, Potter." He explained testily, expecting some sort of retort to follow his statement the moment it fell from his mouth. Instead of rising to the bait, Harry continued his work, his quill scratching noisily in the silence that stretched between them.
"Potter…" The name was ground out as Severus stood slowly, both hands resting on his desk as he glowered over at the boy who had once again stopped to innocently blink up at him. "You are in my classroom, my rules, and you will either put away your things and sit quietly or leave this room at once." He explained slowly and deliberately as if to ensure Harry understood every soft-spoken word. After a bit of a stare down between the two, a tense moment where unspoken disagreements and insults seemed to gyrate in the air between them, Harry broke his own glower, opting to pack his things instead. The muscles in Severus' shoulders and neck relaxed slightly as he reclaimed his seat, pleased to note he'd won that silent battle… as expected, of course.
He'd reread the sentence he'd not been able to get past yet again when he realized with a great wave of displeasure that the boy had not left the room. He sat quietly, as per Severus' first option, defiant eyes boring into his taut features. "Honestly Potter, have you nothing better to do on such a… pleasant… sunny afternoon than to sit there like a lump of a pointless Blast-Ended Skrewt?" He ventured yet again, testily.
Harry scowled, clasping his hands in front of him on the table as if restraining himself from rude hand gestures. "Well I did until you told me to put my things away… Sir."
Arrogant brat, Severus thought viciously as he all by snarled at his student. If Harry had been unable to detect his clouded irritation beforehand, there was no doubt he could see it etched in every aged line of the potion master's face now. The boy knew well just how quick the man was to snap at his cheeky tone. He was also sure his father would have harbored the same sort of disrespect toward his own unfair teachers… a fact that could only serve as ammunition to his teacher's hatred.
"You listen to me very carefully, Mr. Potter. You and I both know your business here has nothing to do with your sudden interest in your studies. Quite the contrary, I think this has more to do with your petulant delinquencies- Do not interrupt me, Potter." The taller man snapped as he'd watched Harry's mouth open to protest. It quickly snapped shut again with the intensity of Severus' glare. The man's hand closed around a paperweight sitting on his desk, knuckles white as the slender fingers curled angrily around it. He pushed his chair back and stood. Harry quickly stood as well, recalling the ache to the back of his head that had been caused by a jar of cockroaches just a week and a half ago prior. "Ever since your last… lesson," He started again, the word falling vehemently from his lips. "And you know very well which one I'm referring to. You've done nothing but piddle around here and if it's an explanation of sorts you're looking for, some sort of insights…" The man looked beside himself with fury. "You'll find I am acutely unwilling to divulge your curiosity of supposed grandeur tales concerning your father's pompous idiocy. Now. If you'd kindly get out." His hand, of it's own accord, had raised as if to throw the paperweight at the boy.
Harry needed no second telling. Rubbing the still sore knot on the back of his head, he grabbed his already packed bag with the other hand and darted out of the classroom.
The Professor slipped back into his seat, suddenly feeling worn. It seemed there were only two people who could get him worked up like this these days. Dumbledore and Harry. And Lily, his mind added helpfully. Though Lily had always gotten him worked up in a completely different manner… unease being the leading emotion. Severus brought his elbows to rest wearily atop the desk, burying his head in his hands as more unbidden memories swam to the surface. He had twenty minutes to relive before his next class was to arrive.
'Plink!'…. 'Plink!'…. 'Plink!'…. Severus rubbed at his arms fretfully. It was amazing how his heart clattered against his chest in such a way he was sure the whole neighborhood would hear if they strained their ears enough, let alone the echoing clang of the pebbles against glass. And it was a wonder Lily slept through it all.
Every wayward sound in his ears, the crack of a twig, the flutter of wings, the rustling of leaves, told him of an angry Evans marching toward Severus. The boy had never met her parents, but he was fairly certain they would not get off on the right foot if they found him meandering in their yard throwing projectiles at their youngest daughter's window. Oh, why wouldn't Lily just wake up?
As he reared his arm back for the fourth time that night to aim yet another rock at his friend's window, the window in question pushed outward. Severus' breath caught in his throat as he dropped the pebble and a tousled head of auburn hair sluggishly poked through the open space.
The boy could tell by the way she sleepily palmed her eyes that he had just woken her up. He wrung his hands nervously, wondering if this had been such a great idea after all. "Oh… it's you." Her tone was derisive and a touch sleepy. Severus silently cursed her ability to hold a grudge. It'd been a whole week! Hadn't she missed him at all?
…He'd certainly missed her.
"Lily… I've come to apologize…" It seemed pointless to beat around the bush when they both very well knew why he was there. Severus tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he held the girl's scrutinizing glance. Several minutes seemed to come and go and Severus was beginning to wonder if she'd fallen back asleep… with her eyes open.
"It's not me you should be apologizing to, Severus." She finally said, crossing her arms as she did. Severus' face fell at that and suddenly he found himself wishing they were face to face rather than standing in the positions they were currently in. Severus on the ground, cold, pitiful looking… being looked down on by this brilliant girl who had more dignity, more kindness, and… well… she was more of everything than everyone he'd ever met. She never ceased to amaze him and Severus had never felt more beneath her than he did in that moment, staring up into her perfectly shaped face.
"You want me to apologize? To her?" He sputtered, disbelief written on his features. He knew his attitude wouldn't help in the slightest, but he couldn't help his exasperation. What she was asking him to do was… she had to be aware that apologizing to her horse-faced sister was the last thing he'd ever do. Furthermore, he was fairly certain Petunia would laugh at his apology. Wouldn't accept it. What was the point?
Even from this distance, the young Slytherin-to-be could see his friend roll her eyes at the comment. "Yes, Severus, to her." She lowered her arms onto the frame of the open window and leaned her head forward so that her chin was resting lazily atop her arms. Her relaxed demeanor did little to assuage the tension building in Severus' chest. He could feel her sympathy rolling off her in waves and it only served to deepen his frown. "The tree branch didn't hit me, after all, did it?"
The boy wrinkled his distinguished nose at that. "I told you…" He'd been about to claim that he hadn't done it… but Lily knew. What was the point in lying to her when she knew? "I didn't do it on purpose." He grumbled the last bit out, finally looking down and aiming a kick at a particularly long blade of grass.
"But you still did it." Lily pointed out patiently.
Drawing his gaze upward again, he let out a sigh. "She wasn't hurt badly, was she? Her arm's still attached." He added, as if that was all that really mattered.
"She was bleeding a bit, but she still has her arm, yes. She's fine now, though she had quite a time convincing Mum that you caused the branch to fall on her." Severus could not help a snicker at this. "Mum said if we're going to keep having problems with you, she'd rather I didn't see you at all."
The smirk was gone from his face as quickly as it had appeared. He stared up at her with wide disbelieving eyes. He was well aware that her parents didn't think much of the area he lived in to begin with. He wasn't good enough for their two perfect little flowers. He knew that. He certainly wasn't worthy of the amount of attention Lily paid to him. Still. The rest of the summer… without Lily? The week had been bad enough. He'd spent most of it wistfully watching her and Petunia interact, wondering what it was about Lily that allowed her to put up with the snotty muggle girl. When he'd confronted her on it before, her simple reply had always been 'she's my sister'.
Well Tobias was his father and he wasn't willing to stand up for him, all his negativity, all his fury. If Lily had made a tree branch fall on his shoulder… well, first off he'd have to make sure they had a fair running head start if something like that were ever to occur. But he wouldn't have been angry at Lily for it and he certainly wouldn't have ignored her for an entire week.
The boy could not for the life of him understand.
Lily must have glimpsed the panic on his face, or else correctly read into his silence. "I'm not going to stop seeing you. You're my friend, after all. Even if we have to find a new secret place where you and Tuney can't fight. But… I'm not used to sneaking behind my parents' backs like that. I'd rather not have to."
Cold pale fingers sought solace in greasy ebony locks. He knew what Lily was trying to say. He understood perfectly what she was asking him to do. Though he rather liked the idea of sneaking around with Lily Evans, unlike his parents, hers were very attentive to what was going on with her. They were there on a daily basis to the point where Severus wondered if she ever felt smothered. He would have. He let his hand drop back to his side. "You want me to apologize. To her." He repeated again. It was not a question this time, but a statement. He threw her a shy look, wondering if he'd be going too far with his next phrase. He never could tell when he was about to push Lily over the edge."…I wouldn't mean it, you know."
It was her turn to sigh. "I know you and my sister aren't ever going to get along. But don't you feel at least a little sorry for hurting her?" Her brows furrowed.
…He was going to lie to her. No, she'd know. Maybe he could try anyway…. No, he honestly couldn't lie to her. Not when she was looking down at him like that…. with those eyes. Why was she doing this to him? "I… really feel no remorse, Lily. I'm just… sorry you're mad at me." He finally settled for the truth, repeating his thoughts from earlier as he cast his gaze downward dejectedly.
He'd been sure Lily would shut the window at that point and ignore him for the rest of the summer… if not for the rest of her life, even. "So… apologize to her. For me. But not right now. If you think she's sour with you during the day, you really don't want to see her after her sleep's been interrupted." Severus' eyes found the green of Lily's once more and was surprised to find her smiling. "Come over tomorrow at noon… apologize then. Will you, Severus? …Please?"
Black eyes stared into green, holding the gaze long after the soft spoken request… held it until his eyes had begun to water and he felt he could not keep them open a second longer. He blinked. How could he say no?
The weekend came and went without so much as a peep from Potter. It was a wonderful escape to be without classes. Even if he'd felt the need to glance at his student one too many times during meals, mentally checking to see if the boy was having another staring fest, the separation did not go unappreciated. He almost dreaded class the next day. Though, now that he thought about it, shouldn't it be the other way around?
Surely he'd finally nipped this in the bud. The boy was reckless, refrained from using his brain, but surely he wasn't flat out stupid. Or at least, not entirely he hoped. Severus felt at this point, Harry would've given up trying to extricate whatever information he could even with the knowledge that his Professor and James had been classmates. That there was a possibility he'd also known the boy's mother. Perhaps that's what this was about… he was angry about that regrettable insult Severus had spat at her and had planned to confront him on it.
…Though that didn't exactly make sense. Harry had seemed inquisitive rather than angry that time he'd actually approached him before he started staying after his Potions class.
Severus shook his head as he prepared for that dreadful class to walk through the door. It really didn't matter, did it? He could care less what Potter wanted to know… though the fact that he'd been obsessing about it for a solid week now proved otherwise. Severus angrily forced that thought to the back of his mind as the first of his students filed in.
To Severus' relief, it was the most normal lesson he'd given since the whole Occlumency event had ended. Crabbe, Goyle, and Weasley had walked into class several minutes late and ten points were deducted from Gryffindor. Students groaned at appropriate moments, only three of his students (one of those, regrettably, Granger) received 'Outstanding' on the latest assignment, and Longbottom managed to blow up his cauldron. Twice. Ten more points were deducted after the second explosion.
It was as if the past week had never happened. Potter kept his head low, murmuring between his two friends frequently. Severus took great pleasure in deducting another ten points for their conversation, though not before catching the word 'Snuffles' on Potter's lips. Severus' lip curled in disdain as he continued to roam the class while Harry glared irately at the back of his head. Yes, everything was quite back to normal.
The reinstated relationship, or rather lack thereof, between Severus and Harry put the Professor at great ease. Loathe as he was to admit it, the way the boy had hung around after class, almost acting as if the two were familiar with one another made it difficult for the older man to hold up the pretense of despising Potter. Too often in the past week, he'd thought of Harry as Lily's son rather than James' son. It was hard not to with the way Harry silently and stubbornly stood his ground, rather than shouting his indignities and demanding his teacher listen to what it was he wanted. Perhaps Harry had wizened up and realized that acting that way wouldn't get him anywhere… or perhaps Severus didn't have him as figured out as he'd thought, after all.
But now those green eyes failed to penetrate his own gaze and it was much easier to despise the boy when he thought of James while looking at him.
He'd almost let his guard down and led himself to believe that Harry would leave with the rest of his class this time. Almost. Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. What was the point in hiding his annoyance? "I am not adverse to hexing you, boy." He ground out, fingers still pinching the bridge of his abnormally large nose as his eyes clenched shut. Maybe, if he closed his eyes and just willed him away…
A scraping filled the silence as Harry stood from his chair, the legs scratching against the cement floor. The way Snape had addressed him made him think of his Uncle… and though that thought unnerved him to no end, he'd set out day after day with a sound purpose to say what needed to be said to this man who so evidently could not stand him and probably never would. He'd be damned if he chickened out now. "Go ahead. I'm sure you could get away with it now, anyway." The boy snapped. His fingers twitched as they itched to pull out his wand from his back pocket, but Harry refused to give Severus the satisfaction of putting him on guard.
The lanky fingers flew away from his face to drop heavily on the desk as he opened his eyes to scowl at his student. With that attitude, he was half tempted to follow through on his threat. "You are relentless, Potter. I thought I made it perfectly clear that your presence is not welcome here between classes."
"You did, Sir. And now I'm making it perfectly clear that I'm not going anywhere until you hear what I need to say." Harry's chin raised up, a challenge as he waited for Severus' reaction.
The telltale displeased sneer crossed Severus' features again. "You never cease to prove me right Potter, with that typical egotistic attitude of yours. Tell me you arrogant little sod, how you have the right to invade what little personal time I have to myself and make demands of me! Was it not enough for you to invade my privacy? Answer me, Potter!" The man's wand was drawn suddenly as his voice picked up in volume. In one swift movement, he stood abruptly, pointing the wand threateningly at Harry from behind his desk. It took every restraint in the world not to take the few strides that separated the two and jam the wand tip angrily under the boy's chin. His patience was worn. He hardly believed anything at this point would be considered going too far. To say Severus Snape was livid was an understatement.
Harry noted, with a bit of surprise, that this was the third time in his five years at school that he'd watched his professor's temper fly off the handle like this. The thought was fleeting and vanished from his mind as quickly as it'd come. "No… I mean yes!" It was amazing how white Snape's face turned with rage. His own wand was out now, though his stance indicated it was merely for a precautionary. He chanced a step away from his desk towards Severus. He saw no way of placating him, but perhaps he'd believe in his intentions… if he put himself at some sort of risk. It's not like Snape would perform an Unforgivable on him… right?
Harry was beginning to wonder.
Severus was nearly shaking in his fury. The man leaned down and laid both of his palms flat on his desk (his wand still clenched tight between the fingers), making it so his gaze was level with the boy's. Teeth clenched, his tone dropped just above a whisper as his words dripped with venom. "My patience has reached it's end, Potter."
Harry took another step toward the desk. They now stood but a few feet apart. In an equally quiet volume, he retorted. "I am not going to scamper off like you'd expect any of the other students to do. Not…" He'd finally bridged the gap, resting his hands against the smooth surface of the desk as he mirrored Severus' pose, glowering into his stony face. "…until I've said my piece."
The two stood locked in each other's glare, refusing to blink. It was a battle of wills and while Severus could admit his was self-righteous, he knew Potter's was annoyingly genuine… and as much as he hated it, it seemed to always win out over everyone elses. No matter what the circumstance.
As Severus remained tight-lipped, Harry spoke again. "Professor, if I have to, I will resort to a howler and then you can hear me out, along with the entire student body and staff." Without blinking, Severus raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "Fred and George may have left the school, but that doesn't mean they couldn't help me out with that one." He threatened, knowing full well that while obtaining a howler from Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop was one thing, delivering it, to a teacher no less, was another. Then, with a bit less confidence, he added, "And yes, that is a threat."
Their staring match resumed in silence until Severus was overwhelmed with the urge to blink. He let out a longsuffering sigh as his lids finally dropped. "Very well, then. Make it quick."
It was forty minutes past when Lily had made Severus promise to be there. He stood in front of the solid black door, feeling discouraged after another bout with his father that morning. The negative feelings influenced by his father had a habit of manifesting itself into despair and Severus wondered, not for the first time that morning, if there was really a point to what he was about to do.
Raising a small pale hand, he rapped the door. Once. Twice. Thrice.
He could hear the muffled yell of a female from behind the door. Severus twisted his fingers behind his back nervously. Not a minute had passed and the door was flung open, Lily's toothy grin mere inches from his own grim face. "Severus! What a surprise!" The boy had to keep from rolling his eyes at Lily's flippancy as she stood aside to allow him through. It was the first time he'd ever stepped foot in the Evans household and as he made his way timidly into the foyer, he was amazed at just how grand this muggle family's home was.
His astonishment must've shown, for Lily's grin widened. "It's nothing special. Actually, this is the best part about living here…" Black eyes curiously watched as she bent her head back and took in a great breath of air. "ECHO!" Severus cringed visibly at the unexpected cry. But Lily paid no mind, seeming satisfied as her voice reverberated off the walls. "…What are you doing here?" She turned her beautiful innocent green eyes toward him.
Severus knew she was putting up a farce and wondered if her parents were in hearing range. Or Tuney. The thought made him all the more nervous and the instinct to bolt back out the front door made itself clearly known as he began to sweat from under his frock. "I, uh… Just wondered how your sister was doing." The boy bit the inside of his cheek. Even he could hear how forced that had sounded.
"Do you want to see her? She's just watching the telly. We've already watched this program before, so you wouldn't really be interrupting anything." She explained offhandedly as she took hold of his hand, tugging him toward what he could only assume was the family room.
His protesting words died in his throat as a new kind of knot formed in his stomach… one that he was pleasantly fond of.
As they entered the sitting room, Severus took note of a tall proud-looking woman, dark auburn hair falling over the paperwork at a desk she was busying herself with off to one side of the room. She glanced up briefly, pale almond shaped eyes grazing over Severus' heavily clothed lithe form before returning back to her work. Petunia sat straight-backed against a two-seated couch. As she spotted Severus by Lily's side, her back, if possible, seemed to straighten even more. Severus wanted nothing more than to shrink behind Lily. Oh how he hated that conceited look on her sister's face.
"What is he doing here?" She sneered at the oddity in their living room, pulling her knees up to her chest in a defensive curl. She unconsciously rubbed her shoulder from where she'd been injured the week previous.
Rather than answering for her, Lily looked expectantly at Severus. If she hadn't still been holding onto his hand, he would've fled without so much as a second thought.
Severus was well aware that though her eyes were elsewhere, Mrs. Evans' ears were probably trained on the conversation between her children and himself. The boy mentally sighed. He'd consented to this… it was for Lily… it was now or never.
"I just wanted to apologize… for the accident-" Severus could tell by the narrowing of her eyes that Petunia was none too impressed with his choice of words. Considering he was provoked, it was easy for her to believe that the attack really was intentional… but Severus would stand firm in saying he really had no control over his magic during emotional outbursts. He chanced a glance at Mrs. Evans, wondering what she thought of him 'making' the branch fall on her daughter. Did she believe Petunia? Had she maybe noticed Lily's peculiar abilities? Had Lily mentioned something to her parents about her and Severus' conversations?
He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. He fixed Petunia with his stare, though not really seeing her as he repeated the practiced words he'd delivered to his father earlier that morning. "That wasn't fair to you and… I'm sorry." He barely choked out the words, looking back to Lily for approval. She inclined her head ever so slightly, a soft smile playing on her lips.
Petunia sniffed disdainfully. "As you should be." She retorted bitterly, her gaze falling back on the TV. Severus bristled at the retort but managed to hold his tongue.
"Petunia Evans." The young Slytherin-to-be watched with a mixture of surprise and curiosity as Mrs. Evans turned her lean frame to face her eldest, fixing her with a disapproving frown. Petunia wrought her eyes from the TV once more, a silent plea on her face directed at her mother. "You haven't forgotten what we discussed this morning, have you?"
Severus furrowed his brows, confused. "…No." Petunia replied hesitantly. She slouched slightly, turning disparaging eyes toward Lily's freakish friend. "…I shouldn't have been sneaking." Her nose was turned up and it was even more apparent that the apology was being forced than Severus' was. "Sorry."
The boy from Spinner's End was beyond surprised. Had Lily planned this? She had to of done. Shaking his head slightly, he mumbled. "Apology accepted."
This seemed to satisfy Mrs. Evans, for she turned back to her files and immersed herself in her work once again. Lily was tugging his hand, a full blown grin on her face. "Come on, Severus! I'll give you a tour of the house!"
Several hours later found the pair in Lily's room, laughing as she caused a paper airplane to zoom far too well across the room, doing a turnabout to glide right back at Severus. As their laughter died down, the boy shook his head, glancing shyly at Lily. "So… were you mad at me all this time?" He'd been burning to ask ever since they'd dashed away from the sitting room. Now that their conversations about Hogwarts had dimmed down somewhat, the boy had deemed it the perfect opportunity.
The smile faded from Lily's lips as she considered his question. "Well… I was. Until last night."
Severus frowned at this. She hadn't really seemed mad last night. What had changed then? "I hope you're never mad at me for that long again. The whole time, I…" He flushed suddenly. "Well, I just hope that doesn't happen again." He amended quickly.
Lily nodded her agreement solemnly. "It was kind of lonely playing with just Tuney the whole time."
Severus snorted at this, but refrained from commenting on it. "I hate apologizing. It seems to me if one should apologize for something, they shouldn't have done it in the first place. I swear, Lily, I didn't mean for that to happen. I didn't do it on purpose." Some part of him had to get her to understand that he hadn't intentionally hurt her sister.
"And you're not sorry for it, either." Lily finished, smiling at him sadly. "I'm sorry that you're not sorry, Severus. I really am."
The boy stared at her with astonished hurt. He didn't understand why, but this sudden pity… it didn't settle right with him. Quietly he stood, weighing his sudden feelings with his options at hand. "…Don't be. It's a wasted feeling, right?" He grabbed for the coat that had been neatly tucked by her bed when they'd first arrived. "I have to go… Mum's probably home by now and she promised we might take a trip to Diagon Alley." He explained hastily as he forced his arms through the sleeves.
Lily looked taken aback. This was the first time she'd heard of these plans… of course, she hadn't spoken to him for a solid week. But even so… why hadn't he mentioned that earlier? "…Alright then. I can meet you by the river tomorrow?"
Severus nodded vigorously, already heading for the door. "Of course! Same time." He confirmed. "See you later, Lily!" His cheery voice was forced. For some unknown reason, for the first time since they'd started hanging out, Severus felt truly irked. He didn't agree with the way Lily thought and after a whole week of being ignored for something he didn't mean to do, he felt he didn't deserve that.
Though he was confused and upset, he pushed those thoughts from his mind. What was he making a big deal out of, anyway? Lily was his friend, no matter their differences. He'd go home, cool off for the night, and everything would be back to normal the next day.
It was the first time, with many many more to come throughout the next five years, that their different ways of thinking clashed and neither could understand the other's point of view.
Here goes, Harry thought with pure unwarranted determination. A week's worth of persistence had finally paid off. Now all he had to do was work up the words and somehow convey to the skeptical Potions Master that he meant them. "When I looked inside the Pensieve… " Cold obsidian eyes narrowed at this. "I didn't go into it thinking," He paused, desperately trying to properly convey what he wanted to say as quickly as possible in the event that the touchy Professor changed his mind. "'Brilliant! Maybe I can find something to use against Snape.' Honestly, I wasn't really thinking at all." He admitted, his wandering eyes focusing back on Severus.
"Do you ever?" The man quipped, raising an eyebrow.
Harry ignored his question and bulldozed onward. "And if I were entirely honest…" Harry hesitated at this. What if Severus relayed any of this to Dumbledore? He glanced back, observing Severus' raised eyebrow. He'd already opened his mouth. "…I thought maybe you were hiding memories in there about the Order. About Voldemort."
"Do not speak the Dark Lord's name!" Severus hissed suddenly, his eyes flashing angrily. Harry at least had the decency to look sheepish for his slip up, though he felt no need to cover up the use of his enemy's name.
"Right, I forgot. It's just, all these things with him are going on. And considering he wants me dead more than anything else… it's frustrating to feel like information's being hidden from me. So when you left and your memories were still sitting there, I thought, maybe what you were trying to hide had something to do with You-Know-Who. I just… never considered I'd find something… so personal in the Pensieve." Harry finally admitted guiltily.
Severus was tense as the boy explained himself. Somewhere, an apology was going to slip out and the man was going to have to acknowledge it on some level whether he wanted to or not. His lip curled as he tried to maintain some small portion of the façade he'd given James' detestable son for five years now. "Such a Potter characteristic, thinking only of yourself." He ground out, taking his hands from the desk to stand properly once again. He replaced his wand back up his sleeve now that his temper had simmered, unable to recall when he'd pulled it out to begin with.
Harry followed suit, giving the man a short nod. "That's why… I wanted to apologize. And not just for snooping. I want to apologize on my father's behalf as well." The boy was beyond nervous as he'd said it, expecting some sort of backlash from the other. "I know it doesn't change anything, but… it wasn't right." He finally finished. He'd almost spilled the fact that he'd been personally disgusted at his father's actions. Had even gone so far as to sneak into Umbridge's office just to speak with Sirius and Lupin about the matter. But Harry felt fairly certain Snape wouldn't have appreciated the fact that his memories had been discussed with two of his oldest adversaries… even if they had been present during those memories. And besides, apologizing was one thing… admitting his git of a Professor may have been right all along was an entirely different matter. Harry wasn't willing to go that far.
Severus finally sat back in his chair, that worn feeling creeping up his spine once more after hearing the boy's words. "It is pointless to apologize for something you cannot help nor change." He finally stated grumpily, pulling a stack of essays toward him.
"Maybe." Harry murmured, shrugging. "But it makes me feel better saying it. And if I could've helped it or changed it, I probably would have." He stated in earnest.
"That is little comfort to me, Potter." The conversation was breaching a level of ease that Severus refused to acknowledge.
"Besides," Harry plowed on with a bit of a snort, throwing his teacher an accusing glance. "Doesn't hurt to try and apologize for something that's being held against you for reasons you can't help or change."
Ouch. Severus raised an eyebrow at him again while pulling out a quill and ink. After a split-second's consideration, the teacher decided imparting some of the truth would go a long way at this point. "My resentment for you goes far beyond your father's delinquencies for reasons I am not about to explain and reasons that will not change." His gaze dropped back to his papers. He hastily marked the first one with 'D', realizing upon first glance that the essay didn't reach the length requirements.
The silence stretched for a moment and Severus wondered if the boy planned on standing there forever. After hearing an exhale of breath, he heard him speak again. "I understand."
Severus' head snapped up at that. "Foolish boy. Do not attempt to humor me. You've no comprehension in that inflated noggin of yours."
"I know that." Harry snapped back, emerald eyes narrowing. "I just meant that, I understand you're never going to like me because of my parents… No matter what I do or how much I apologize for them. I understand that, you-" The boy bit his tongue. He'd almost called his professor a bloody wanker. Well, he was, anyway.
The Potions Master raised an eyebrow as the boy had cut himself off but refrained from commenting on it. "You're making this harder on me than I would like, Potter." He ran a sinewy hand through greasy locks, a habit he only displayed when he felt strained.
"Good. That makes my efforts seem worth it." Harry offered half a smile. Shaking his head, he turned away from the desk and made his way for the door. He'd finally been able to say his piece and he was surprised at the load that had been taken off his chest.
"You're nothing like your mother was, Potter." Severus stated in a dry tone of voice. Harry's figure halted at the exit, a tanned hand resting on the door frame. His gaze snapped back to his teacher's, momentarily surprised.
"…I'm nothing like my father was, either." The boy retorted. True, there were resemblances as any child and parent would have… and their resemblance in their facial features was quite profound. But after observing that small memory of Snape's, Harry realized that he and his father had been two entirely different people. The way they'd grown up must've been poles apart and as much as Harry might've craved for it, he couldn't afford to live as carefree and laidback as his father had during his school year. There was too much at stake for that.
The silence stretched out between the two of them, a tangible one in which Harry was sure he could see his words reflected in those obsidian eyes. When Harry was sure his Professor would leave no more imparting thoughts, his fingers swept from the entryway and he vanished down the hall, his footfalls echoing in the empty corridor.
Severus let out a breath of air when he could no longer hear the boy's footfalls. "Perhaps… Harry."
Though he'd denied it to himself, Severus had recognized what Potter had wanted from him all along. Even from the first time he'd fixed him with that determined stare after his memories had been so rudely viewed. The truth was, he hadn't wanted to hear the apology because he'd known the moment he did, he'd have to forgive him… whether he admitted it out loud to the boy whose eyes were so alike Lily's or not.
Fin. Please leave a tasty little review for me! It's like leaving Santa cookies. Constructive criticism is always welcome.
