Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise.
A/N: This is a birthday present for Amy, who introduced me to this pairing. Happy Birthday, Amy, and enjoy being able to legally do magic out of school! ;)
It's also a companion piece to my other story, The Girl Who Disappeared, but you don't need to have read that to understand this, although the two together make up the full story. They tell exactly the same story, but from different points of view.
When they were in their Third Year, they used to sit and watch the boys, giving them scores out of ten for various criteria.
Parvati was always much pickier than Lavender; they often argued about the scores, but only in a very good-natured way. Parvati, for example, wouldn't have given Ron Weasley higher than a five (he was cute, in a gormless sort of way, and he was a nice enough guy, but that was about all that could be said for him) whereas Lavender rated him eight, and Parvati suspected would have given him even higher, if she hadn't been too embarrassed.
They could both agree that Harry could be awarded seven – fame and a certain amount of charm, as well as his talent on the quidditch pitch, counted in his favour, although his physical attractions were disappointing – those were the days before he had his growth spurt, and he was both short and scrawny. Neville, of course, could not be awarded more than four, and that was generous. He was sweet, in the same way that a giant teddy bear was sweet – he would surprise them later, of course, but despite their best attempts in Divination, neither Parvati nor Lavender could predict the future. They argued again over Seamus, because Lavender wanted to give him nine purely for his Irish accent, which Parvati objected to, and even over ladies man Dean, whom Lavender rated seven while Parvati refused to go higher than six.
They rated the non-Gryffindor boys too, although they always felt a bit treacherous talking about the Slytherins, because Gryffindors and Slytherins did not mix. The Hufflepuff boys in their year were disappointing (although Cedric Diggory, a few years ahead, certainly wasn't). The Ravenclaws were fair game, but the best of them was Michael Corner, and that would have been the ultimate betrayal, because Parvati's sister Padma liked him.
To be honest, most of the Slytherins weren't that appealing either. Draco Malfoy could have had a nine, even from Parvati, if you went on looks alone, but even Lavender felt that his personality counted against him. Crabbe and Goyle were somewhere off the scale at around minus five. Lavender gave Theo Nott six, which Parvati thought was generous.
The only boy Parvati would have given higher than Lavender did was Blaise Zabini. Lavender said that he was as nasty as Malfoy, but Parvati didn't agree. He was cold and aloof and she rarely saw him smile, but somehow, she found that intriguing. He wasn't like the other boys; he seemed older, more mature… And he was very good-looking, with deep brown eyes that looked right through you but hid his own thoughts completely. He gave nothing away; he was cool and collected and always seemed vaguely amused at what was going on around him.
He was a mystery, and Parvati liked a mystery.
Then Padma started going out with him, and Parvati was unreasonably a little bit annoyed. Not because she fancied him, she told herself. Just because she had quite liked imagining him as a complex enigma, and he became a bit boring when he was only her sister's boyfriend.
It didn't last though. It had fizzled out by the end of Third Year, although Parvati was slightly puzzled by her sister's relationship with him. When she asked, Padma shrugged.
"We're just friends. It was only a bit of fun."
And Parvati had to be satisfied with that, although she couldn't help the small spike of jealousy, because she wanted to be friends with the enigma that was Blaise Zabini (and a part of her quite liked the idea of 'having fun' with him too).
Parvati went to the Yule Ball with Harry, which was her first dip into anything approaching a proper 'date.' She was excited about it, although she had to tone down her excitement around Lavender. Lavender refused to talk about the ball in the build up to it, and got bad tempered and snappy whenever it was mentioned. Parvati knew, although Lavender would never admit it, that her friend was bitterly disappointed that she had lost the chance to be going with Ron Weasley, for all she was going with Seamus Finnegan of the sexy accent. Lavender was noticeably colder to Padma in the few days before the ball, and Parvati got a bit sick of it, if she was honest.
However, in the end, the whole thing was a miserable fiasco.
Years later, she could look back on it and laugh, but at the time, it was horribly mortifying and disappointing. It wasn't as if she liked Harry in that way; he was just her housemate, and a vague sort of friend, and she knew he felt the same way. But it was her first ball, and Harry was one of the Triwizard Champions, and she had built it up in her head, the way she always did. Harry, in her imagination, became a chivalrous gentleman, who would lead her through the dances, and be polite and attentive, because Harry was always nice, and he was a Gryffindor to the core, and Gryffindor boys were supposed to be chivalrous, weren't they?
Her castles in the air were swiftly smashed, and she realised that even Gryffindor heroes could be tactless, idiotic teenage boys. She consoled herself with a boy from Beauxbatons who danced beautifully and tried to feel her up, but she was hurt and mortified just the same. Padma was more angry than hurt, and swore she was never letting Parvati set her up again, but then Padma had only gone with Ron because Michael had invited some Hufflepuff kid in the year below them. Lavender was outwardly sympathetic, although Parvati detected a note of smugness, especially when she spoke to Padma. Clearly, Lavender put the failure of Padma and Ron's date down to the fact that they were completely unsuited to each other, rather than to Ron Weasley's stupidity.
And in the middle of it all, Parvati still somehow managed to notice that Blaise looked elegantly distinguished in black dress robes with a white trim, and that his date, Daphne Greengrass, had the kind of figure most girls would die for, damn her.
Not that Parvati cared.
Blaise took Divination at NEWT level. This did not really surprise Parvati, even though he was the only Slytherin who did, because she knew so little about him that nothing would really have surprised her. And Divination was a subject of mystery and fascination, just like him, so it fitted somehow. Despite his 'friendship' with Padma, it was the first time Parvati had really spoken to him. He was polite and refined, just as she'd expected, but there was also something else. He hid himself well, but she couldn't help feeling that there was a warmer, realer person underneath the mask. And Parvati being Parvati, she couldn't rest until she had discovered it.
So she chatted to him, because talking was something that came easily to her, and although he seemed surprised at first, he was quite friendly, and she began to feel that she was actually getting to know Blaise Zabini, and that he was quite a nice person…
Then came Seventh Year.
Parvati had never thought of herself as a fighter. If she was honest, she had been a bit surprised when the Sorting Hat had put her in Gryffindor all those years ago. But the things that were going on at Hogwarts during her final year there were so unimaginably horrible that she didn't really have a choice, because she could not simply stand and watch them. Blaise didn't understand; he tried to tell her to keep her head down once, which fired Parvati's temper, and he didn't try again.
Oh, she wasn't like Neville. Neville, who stepped out of his shy-little-boy-shell and became their leader; Neville, who was their inspiration; Neville, who was braver than any of them. Parvati was a follower, not a leader, and never felt she'd really be much use in an actual fight. It was Neville, along with Luna Lovegood (another completely unlikely hero) and Ginny Weasley, and later Seamus and Dean and Michael and Hannah and Susan, who were the real fighters. But as the year went on; as Ginny and Luna failed to return to school, and one by one, the rest of them were forced to 'disappear,' Parvati saw more and more clearly that, at some point, she would have to take a stand as well. She too would have to join that growing little band of outlaws; she too would have to disappear.
In the end, though, it was Lavender who went first. Forced to watch Amycus Carrow torture a couple of Third Years, she broke down and declared that she couldn't do it any more, and that she was going to find Neville and the others. Parvati could do nothing but nod silently, dismayed at losing her friend, and torn because part of her wanted to go too. Padma had already gone, along with Michael, after Michael was caught and badly tortured. Parvati had never seen her sister as upset as she was over that; she herself visited Michael in the hospital wing and was shocked at the state of him, but Padma had seen him as he collapsed into the Common Room after dragging himself up from the dungeons. Some people had been so terrified by the incident that they backed off, which was no doubt what the Carrows had hoped for, but what it did to Padma was turn her from a quiet, aloof Ravenclaw, into a warrior.
With both her sister and her best friend gone, Parvati turned to what seemed like the only friendly face left. He was an odd friend for her to have. Lavender, before she disappeared, had tried to tell her she shouldn't talk to him, because he was a Slytherin, and he hung around with people like Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson, who did the Carrows' dirty work for them – Malfoy was even a Death Eater, it was said. But Blaise wasn't like that, Parvati knew he wasn't. He didn't torture people; he didn't hurt them. He might tell her to keep her head down, but that didn't mean he liked what was going on. He couldn't help his house…
And he was lonely himself, and they were both afraid of what was going to happen, and it helped to be able to forget. So they forgot together; clinging to each other like rafts adrift at sea, losing themselves in each other so that, just for a little while, things could seem all right. And she was past his mask, seeing the real Blaise, who was warm and strong, and who stroked her hair and melted her with kisses.
Then one day, Parvati stepped in front of Pansy Parkinson, who was preparing to cast the Cruciatus curse on a First Year. She used a stunning spell, and Parkinson was a member of the Inquisitorial Squad, so that would mean harsh punishment if she was caught.
Parvati fled the scene, knowing that her time had come; now was when she must disappear. She met him briefly, under cover of darkness, in an empty classroom, while the Carrows and their minions searched for her outside. Her kiss was fierce and urgent, because she knew that this was probably the last time. He did not try to stop her going; neither did he offer to come with her. The brief time when their worlds had touched was over, and Parvati slipped away into the darkness.
She was not in the Great Hall when the Slytherins left with the underage students, but she heard about it. She tried not to think about it; tried not to wonder what he was doing; what he was thinking. Because he had left; he had left the fight, and he had left her, walking calmly out of her life, and she had to let go.
Let go she did, in the months and years that followed. There was hardly time to think about him in the aftermath of the battle. Lavender had been badly injured, and Parvati was by her side through the painful weeks of recovery. By that time, she did not even know where Blaise was; he had disappeared from her horizon.
She got an internship with the Daily Prophet, who were impressed with her determination and ability to prise out a story, as much as her talent with a quill. Her career progressed nicely, and there were men in her life, but nothing serious. Dean Thomas asked her out, a couple of years after they finished school, but she said no and he took it good-naturedly. Lavender changed her mind about Ron Weasley being preferable to Seamus Finnegan, and she and Seamus were married only a few years out of school. Parvati was bridesmaid, and she was bridesmaid again when Padma married Michael a couple of years later. She was the fun aunt and surrogate-aunt to their children, and she enjoyed the role.
Lavender asked her at regular intervals whether she had found somebody herself yet. At first, she laughed it off, saying she was happier single, and that she was concentrating on her career as a journalist – and both of those things were true. Increasingly, she got irritated at the questions. It still hurt though, when Lavender eventually stopped asking.
The sudden outbreak of attacks on Muggles and Muggle-borns took the wizarding world by surprise. People had thought those days were over; now it became clear that they were not. Ex-Death Eaters fell under suspicion; Draco Malfoy's name was in the papers again. Blaise Zabini's was not, or at least not much, but it was known that he and Malfoy were still friends. He was just good at avoiding journalists.
Parvati forced herself not to think about him. She wasn't a teenage girl any more; she was a grown woman with a successful career, and anyway, Blaise was married with children at Hogwarts; she knew because Padma taught Charms there, and the Zabini girls were in her classes. She honestly hadn't thought about him for years; she was following the story as part of her job, that was all.
And when she was sent to wait outside Draco and Astoria Malfoy's house to try and get a few words out of them if they tried to leave, she really had no idea that Blaise Zabini was going to walk out of their front door.
For a moment, she was startled back into their school days; he was older, of course, and so was she, but he was still perfectly recognisable; still the same tall figure (he hadn't put on weight at all); still the same blank mask that came down as he saw the journalists waiting; still the same indefinable charisma…
He pushed past the crowd of journalists, refusing to give them even a word of comment. Parvati did not join them; she was too thrown by his sudden appearance. So he did not see her until he was past them, and suddenly, she saw his mask flicker. The real Blaise, the one she had got to know in those last desperate days at Hogwarts, was still in there; she could see it in his eyes.
But they weren't the same as they had been then. They weren't children any more. The confusion, and almost fear, that had flooded her at his appearance, ebbed away as he stood in front of her, recognition in his eyes.
"Parvati," he said stiffly, "I didn't realise you'd gone in for journalism."
"No," she agreed softly, "No reason why you should, really. We didn't stay in touch, did we?"
She waited for his reply, as he appeared to hesitate slightly. His next words were entirely unexpected.
"Do you want a coffee?"
She looked at him, almost amused by the suggestion. Here she was, a common hack, standing outside his friend's house, trying to scrape together enough dirt on them to make a story. Yes, they had been friends once. Yes, they had been more than friends. But surely, now, their worlds were simple too far apart to bridge the gap.
"Do you mean with you? Now?"
He shrugged elegantly; he had always been elegant.
"Why not? It's been a long time. We could catch up. Do you want to?"
She glanced down at the quill in her hand, and then back at her colleagues, the journalist's instincts that she had honed for years kicking in. She wanted to talk to him again; wanted to renew the old friendship. But she could also make the most of this… She smiled at him, slightly mischievously.
"Do you want to give me an exclusive interview on your take on the latest Muggle attack?"
He raised his eyebrows.
"That was spoken almost like a Slytherin."
Her eyes danced.
"You have to learn to think a bit like a Slytherin sometimes, in my line of work."
She thought he would refuse. She thought he might even accuse her of just trying to use him. But he did neither of those things.
"All right," he smiled at her; the smile that had always tugged at her heart, "Shall we?"
So they did. And she knew that he was married, but she also knew, because he told her, that the marriage had ended years ago, in everything except name. And she let him kiss her, although she knew that it was wrong, because it didn't feel wrong.
He had left. He had walked out of her life on the day the battle began, and she had never realized until now how much she had felt that act as a betrayal.
But sometimes life gives second chances. He had left, but now he had come back, and maybe, just maybe, they could both have that second chance.
