I could see everything; Everyone, as they walked through life day after day. I could see smiles that would shine as bright as the sun, and hear laughter clear like chimes in the wind. This was what I had been determined to protect, what had kept me standing in face of fate. Of my end.
In that beginning, after the battle ended, I had known. That in order to prevent humanity's further destruction, in order for everyone to continue living their lives, I must give up mine.
It felt so good. Back then. It felt so good when I closed my eyes, and saw the faces of everyone I had come to love so happy, so beautiful. It felt so good, that I hadn't thought- I hadn't minded giving up living so they may. I was loved, and had loved.
When they forgot, my heart felt like it was being squeezed and bled. I knew I ran on burrowed time, and that any day might be an end. Every moment. Everyday.
The fog of indifference had suffocated me. But I loved, and was content that I could still laugh with them though they knew nothing of what had been.
I suspected Aigis had known. If the long stares she kept giving me left doubts, it was confirmed when she had visited me that... day. She had grown remarkably well, and had become more... human since we'd first met; However, Aigis still had a lot to learn to be able to... remotely understand humanity, and even then... learning will never cease.
In the beginning that I had known, I was cursed. I was aware. That every passing of a new day, a piece of me goes along with it. That every birth of a new day, I die a little bit more. But as a fool does, I was happy in each day anew.
When that time finally came, I had woken up barely able to move, trembling against a tangle of bedsheet and blanket. I had felt... cold. And no object I managed to grasp on my bed kept it at bay. It was nothing that I had ever felt then. The cold of a shadow's bufu spell, or Mitsuru's icy glare could not compare. I was going to die.
Then Aigis came, and I had asked for assistance. It had been evident that I will no longer be able to rely on my own strength to get through the day. It was clear that I would not be able to last, or smile, or laugh, or cry with them again.
With Aigis' help, I was able to get dressed. I chose to wear my school's uniform then, after all, it was the last time I'd be able to wear it, the last time I'll be a student of Gekkoukan.
When Aigis helped me stand, I was taken into her embrace. And though I felt my heart break a little bit more, I squeezed her back as much as my body could allow, and had let go.
An android cannot cry, but as I listened to her voice she might as well have been for all the grief that weighed each word, and the tone that mourned with each pause.
I told her I knew, and she just stared at me in a silence that told me more than any word ever could have. Hope. Relief. Worry. I heard all those in that brief moment. When she took my hand in hers, then I heard more.
I felt warm, and light.
She held on to me as she assisted me in mobility, held on to me even when I just stood. I had asked her to take me to Gekkoukan's rooftop. I had wanted to see Iwatodai one last time, and revisit memories made on each familiar site I'd have set sight on.
But then, I had felt my soul trickling at edge of the abyss, dangling on a tip as a dew does sliding atop a leaf. I could not maintain focus, the corners of my vision barely able to keep stable. My breathing, then, had turned shallow, and a second felt longer than it should.
When I came to, I saw the thin line of circuitry at the base Aigis' chin, and that a side of my face was cupped in her hand. I stared at the golden sky and could not feel the cloth of her shirt pressed against my cheek, no heat, nor cold.
She told me that she could hear the others coming. Through the cold kept at bay by Aigis's warmth, I had felt my spirit soar. I was glad when they remembered.
She helped me sit up then, and told me that she wanted to greet the others. I let her go, her warmth with her, and sat where I was sat.
It felt like years when I felt warmth blossom where my hands would have been, more so when I heard my name uttered as though a wish come true. And maybe I was, that's how he had always made me feel.
I had gained will from his touch, and tried to open my eyes so I could see him one last time.
But I could not.
I wanted to cry out, but instead with what strength or will I had left, I told him I love him. It was strange saying those words to him without being able to see what he looked like then, but it felt right.
And though I could no longer feel the pressure of his body against mine, having been enveloped in his warmth had been more that enough.
For a moment, I regretted having to die, to not being able to spend the rest of my life with him. But the thought of him dying come new cycle, had dashed my hesitation.
As I knew of our joining's nearing end, I had imagined my fingers slowly filling the spaces between his, and hoped that my body at least grant me that last selfish wish. I had imagined that he had smiled, and for that moment I felt at peace. I thought I would continue feeling so.
But that was not the case.
A/N: It's been a while since I last played P3P. Years.
Reading fics about Persona kind of motivated me to create my own.
Anyway, don't hesitate to tell me what you think! I would love to hear any suggestions you might have.
