Story - When The Dragons Came
Preview
Hello! I'm Stitches.
I'm a Danny Phantom Phan all the way and I've been think about this story for what feels like forever. Thinking about the layout, the plot, the characters. And now, I'm ready to show it to the public. The real story will come out in a few months, but I thought it would be kinda cool to show you people whats gonna happen. :P
Disclaimer - I own nothing. Only some of the dragons and OCs that will be entering, but anything recognizable is not mine. And never will be mine.
When the dragons came, no one had a clue what to do.
When the first roar sounded through the air, everyone heard it. No matter where you were. Greenland. Japan. Mexico. Canada. You heard the dragons roar their cries. Now after several years, you can see just how harmless they were back then.
But that doesn't matter anymore, because now we're fighting a war with a species thought to only exist in fairy tales.
And oh how wrong those fairytales were.
Some say that specific people are chosen to be snatched up from their present lives by some random coincidence. Others say that its some bigger plan made by this unknown God that Rabbis and Priests speak about. To 6 year old Tucker, he thought it was all the same when he lost his best friend.
The day had started out normal for the first graders, they woke up from their slumber, went to the kitchen for breakfast, and finally went to school to start their learning for the day. It was Danny who proposed that Friday evening that they should go to his house, and after Tucker got permission, thats what they did. When they got to his house, they greeted Danny's little sister and after a little bit of playing with the 3 year old, went straight to work on their homework for teacher.
When Danny's older sister got home, Danny saw it fit that he send his little Ellie, to bother the eldest. Then the two boys started the next phase to their plan: getting into the basement.
The week before all of this happened, Danny's parents had taken him, Jazzy and little Ellie down to the basement to see what they had been working on for what seemed like to be forever to Little Danny. A dragon portal. They explained it was going to be a doorway to a placed called the Dragon's keep, this unknowingly delighted the 1st Grader in the room so much he paid no mind to the shiver that ran down his back.
So when he saw his parent's devastation when the portal failed, he knew exactly what he had to do.
And that's where he was now, standing in front of the same portal that cause his beloved parents sorrow. Now Tucker had really only agreed because he was just starting to get interested in the technology side of the world and thought it would be cool to see if his best friend's parents did something wrong to make it not even start, and that was a pretty big if.
When Danny proposed that they look for signs in the blueprints, Tucker agreed. They spent a few minutes, both being extremely intelligent boys, analyzing the blueprints and the portal but nothing look out of place.
Then Tucker said that Danny should check out the inside of the portal, and Danny, with a little convincing on Tuck's part, shakily agreed to going inside the big hole in his basement's wall. Danny slipped on his white and black jumpsuits and started to nervously shuffle into the portal.
"Its really dark in here!" Danny had said, making Tucker giggle a little outside the portal. After a few seconds on being in the portal, a loud 'oof' echoed through the octagon. Tucker couldn't even ask if Danny was okay before a sinister yellow color started to emit itself from the portal. "Danny? Danny! DANNY! GET OUT OF THERE! HURRY!" Screamed Tucker as he heard the alarm sounding that the once dead portal was turning on.
Unfortunately, that was all forgotten when the bright yellow light started to spark, and a terrifying scream sounded from the portal. Tucker hadn't even noticed the tears as he starred at where the horrible sound was coming from, nor had he noticed that Jazzy and Ellie where down there too, just a few feet behind Tucker as the listen to their only brother's screams of death.
When the screaming stopped and the portal started to glow with a rainbow of sinisterly beautiful colors, all eyes wondered to the portal, hoping with the the hope that their little bodies could muster that their beloved friend and brother had somehow survived. They just kept standing there, with Jazz holding Ellie and Ellie, not even 4 yet, understand the fact that she had lost someone close to her.
When the Fenton parents came home and went into the basement, the found the three children standing there, paralyzed; and when they saw the portal, their worst failure yet, working, they were delighted.
It wasn't until later, when Tucker had went home with a newly broken heart, did Jazz tell her parents what happened.
At the same time, in another world not far from the one we just came from, two electric green draconic eyes opened to reveal his new home.
Thats the preview. I haven't gotten around to really working on the story all that much honestly. This is because I am now a high-schooler (yay!) and I need to work on school, as much as it irritates me to no end.
Now,
1.) Did this chapter have a generally good flow of words, or should I work more on my sentence structures?
2.) Are the characters interesting and, for the most part, adding a fair share to the building of the plot?
3.) Are there any scenes that seem out of place or slightly confusing?
4.) Are the characters' thoughts realistic, or too generic? Is there any way that I could improve on this?
Please, write you're answer and opinions in the the reviews, I would appreciate them greatly. I always love to improve.
Thank you, and I'll see you all next time.
-StitchedUpShadows
