*Sniffles* Fanfiction.net took this down because of the lemon! All my wonderful reviews- Gone! I'm sorry to everyone who reviewed; they were all so wonderful, and I thank you profusely. The lemon has been revised to a lime (…I really liked that lemon too. Piffle.) . However, this will be posted in its entirety to www.geocities.com/malik_no_miko where I also have the rest of my YuGiOh! stories (including one that's mostly a lemon between Yami Bakura and Ryou).
Title: Slave
Author: Silvara Maxwell
Disclaimer: I don't own, so you don't sue
Genre: Romance/Angst
Pairings: Mostly Yami (Yugi)/Yugi with a surprise thrown in there (Don't kill me! Please!)
Warnings: Yaoi, slash, whatever you want to call it, it's boy-boy love. A slightly bastardized!Yugi (so I've been told. I don't really think so, but there you have it), mentions of new, improved dominant!Yugi (damn it, I had to take most of that out with the lemon, but he's still there), and a bit of Yami abuse (it needed a bit of humor to it. No actual alarm clocks were injured during the making of this fic. Yami's sanity, however, was severely damaged. ^_^)
Yugi calls Yami: Mou hitori no boku (The other me)
Yami calls Yugi: Mou hitori no ore, Aibou (The other me, Partner)
Yami's POV
Beep! Beep! Beep!
An incessant, shrill noise pierces through the dazed, half-conscious stupor I'm in. It's muffled, as though far away or through layers of wool and cotton, but it's annoying, and I wait somewhat impatiently for it to stop, glaring at nothing. It doesn't go off though, just keeps on persisting as if only to defy me. I sigh in frustration and call to my other half.
//Mou hitori no ore…//
No answer.
//Mou hitori no ore… Mou hitori no ore!//
One more try.
//AIBOU!//
/…Hmm…?/
Ah, there we go.
//Mou hitori no ore,// I call out to him again in a somewhat softer voice. //It's time to get up. That beeping noise is going off.//
/…Eh?/ I feel his drowsiness and almost feel like curling up to sleep myself. Not that I need to sleep.
//The beeping noise. You have to get up.//
There's an extended pause, then the beeping stops. Finally. /It's called an alarm clock./
I don't care much to know the name of that blasted thing- and Yugi's certainly told me it enough times for me to know- passed that he gets up and shuts the infernal noise off. //It should be called a nuisance if you ask me.//
/Well, I wasn't. I know you don't like it, but I need it to get up in time for school./
//Why can't you just get up when Re-Atum glides over the horizon like everyone else?//
There's a wave of exasperation, and it bothers me. I don't make fun of those stupid, monotheistic religions, do I? Well, maybe a bit, but not that often. //What?//
/…Nothing. I don't have to be up that early, though, mou hitori no boku. School doesn't start until a few hours after sunrise, not at sunrise./
The link between us closes, and I know he's gone to bathe in that tub where the water spills out of a metal spout. I settle myself down to wait for a while, absently humming some tune Yugi often listens to on that music box. I may watch over him, living life through his eyes most of the time, but I do give him some privacy.
Not enough for his taste, but that's just tough.
I can't understand why he tries to censor certain things anyway; when he first solved my Puzzle, but before we actually met, I saw and heard everything. I don't see what there's to be embarrassed about, and I told him so. He actually looked quite shocked I had seen all those things, then got mad for a bit. The incident occurred after he took his bath and was dressing; I separated from him because he had tripped over the clutter in his room.
So, I caught him. That was when he made up these boundaries, before he learned how to shut certain things out from me, things I was strictly not supposed to listen to or watch. He seemed especially unnerved when I told him his body was very beautiful and nothing to be ashamed of. It was a compliment, though; I'm don't know why he was so embarrassed about it.
/Mou hitori no boku… I'm done. Are you coming to school with me?/
//Where else would I go?//
/You could always stay here, or go somewhere else, you know./
//What if you need my help?// I ask irritably. We have this conversation every morning, and it still bothers me.
/I can take care-/
//Don't you want me around?// I cut him off, because he's told me that several times before. He's also proven it too, and I know it's true, but I still don't want to leave him.
/Of course, I do./ He seems significantly saddened by such a question, and I feel an odd mixture of guilt and relief. /I just don't want you to be bored. Like you have to be there./
//I'll be fine, aibou. Now eat something quick and go before you're late again.//
I can hear him groan as he runs down the stairs, shoving a roll into his mouth while he rushes out the door. His book bag bangs against his back as he hurries to school, and I just know he's going to be late if he keeps this pace up. Yugi's good at many things, but running doesn't happen to be one of them.
//Let me take over.//
/I'm fine./
//You're going to be late.//
/…/
//I run faster than you do.//
/You mean you have longer legs./ There's bitterness, and I sigh. He can be overly sensitive about his height, sometimes.
//Mou hitori no ore… That's not what I said, and you know it. Do you really want to get in trouble for being late again?//
/…No. Go ahead./
There's a bright light; it hurts my eyes for a moment as I adjust to the sudden change. There's a stitch in my side, and I'm breathing heavily, shoulders sore from the weight of the book bag. I hitch it up on my back, adjusting the straps, and run as fast as possible. The cool morning air whips around me, and I'm chilled by the time I actually make it to Domino High School.
I try to warm up a bit before Yugi takes over a cold body, but he does it without warning. Another bright flash that fades into darkness, and he's in control of himself again, just barely making it on time to class.
/Thank you, mou hitori no boku./
//You're welcome, aibou.//
His attention turns back to class, and I settle back, half-listening to the teacher drone on through Yugi's ears. How can he stand it? Most of it's boring and useless information. The only time I actually made a conscious effort to hear what the teacher was saying was when the class was discussing Ancient Egypt. My aibou was very tired, so he let me take over; I'd be able to tell him about it when he got home. But most of the information was confused or incomplete, and I got rather angry with that.
Yugi hasn't let me take over in class since.
So, for the amount of time he's in school, I'm stuck with far too much time to myself. Time where I'm bored with nothing to do but think, something that I very rarely had as Pharaoh. Usually I think of Yugi. He intrigues me. My aibou seems so simple at first, easily understood, but that's only the first layer; it hides an inner complexity, an enigma, that's a challenge for me to solve- one I just can't pull away from. In some of my clearer moments, the borderline obsession I harbor disturbs me.
But mostly, I just think of Yugi.
Everything about him, from the way his tongue pokes out from the corner of his mouth when he's concentrating to when he first solved my Puzzle, is burned in my memory, deeply engraved into it. Especially those first moments after he completed my Puzzle, because I want to kick myself everyday for not making my presence known then.
When Yugi solved my Puzzle, he wished for a friend, believing the Pyramid would grant him it. I heard it. And I nearly laughed. At the time, he thought his wish came true, that I brought him Joey. I did nothing of the sort and didn't particularly care, let him think what he wanted. Now, I'd give my right arm if he thought the answer to his wish was me.
But he doesn't. I'm just his overprotective other half. And it frustrates me to no end, because all I want to do is sit and stare endlessly into the large lavender pools of his eyes, trying to unlock the secrets of their puzzle as Yugi unlocked mine. There has to be a key somewhere, something I just haven't found yet, but I'll keep looking because this is a puzzle I long to beat more than anything else.
/Mou hitori no boku?/
Why is Yugi calling to me in the middle of school? //Yes?//
/Are you all right?/
//Of course I am, aibou.//
/You just seemed a little more… distracted than usual./
//Than usual? Mou hitori no ore, you're supposed to be paying attention to your lessons, not me.// My reprimand lacks any sort of sternness, though; it pleases me to know he'd rather spend time with me than at this awful place.
/I do pay attention, honest! …Sometimes…/
//Sometimes?//
/Well, yes, I do! But school's almost over now…/
//…It is?//
/Yes. You've been completely gone for most of the time./
//Really? I'm sorry.//
/It's okay…/
He abruptly stops our "conversation" as he gets up to leave class. His white-haired friend… Bakura… Yugi leaves class, talking to him and smiling. I listen to my aibou as he talks, not really comprehending what he's saying, just letting his voice wash over me. Suddenly, I feel a heat rush through his body mingled with some embarrassment, and I know he's blushing.
I wish I had been paying closer attention now; I really want to know what they were talking about. Bakura and Yugi separate ways, and my aibou begins to walk home. I wait a few moments until he can stop somewhere, then call out to him.
//Mou hitori no ore?//
/…Yes?/
//What were you and Bakura talking about?//
/Nothing./ His answer is short, and he's embarrassed again. My curiosity is piqued, but he refuses to go elaborate. /Just drop it, okay?/
//…Whatever you say, aibou.// I catch a glimpse of Bakura in Yugi's mind, but I leave it at that, and we continue on our way.
The walk home is silent, but pleasantly so. Our connection is open, and we just enjoy each other's company. Yugi's unusually happy; I don't know why he's happy, but because he is, I am too. The bell above the door to the game shop rings as Yugi steps through it, and I listen as he cheerfully greets his grandfather.
"Hi, Grandpa!"
"Yugi! How was your day at school?"
"It was fine."
"That's nice. Yugi, I have something I'd like to discuss with you."
"What is it, Grandpa?"
"There's a gaming convention starting tomorrow and continuing over the weekend. I'd like to go, but that means you'll be home by yourself for a few days."
"I'll be all right, Grandpa. Don't worry about it."
"Thank you, Yugi. I have my bags packed upstairs, and I'm going to leave after dinner. Why don't you go upstairs and start your homework now? I'll close the shop up soon, and we can spend some time together before I go."
"That'll be great, Grandpa!"
My aibou's good mood increases, and he even smiles while he pulls out his books to start his homework. It's a bright, wide grin that lights up his entire face, and I've never seen anyone ever look sweeter. I rest peacefully in my soul room, letting his happiness wash over me and ignoring everything else.
A sudden wave of frustration interrupts the tranquility I had sunk into, and I separate from Yugi in a flash of light. I ignore the torn, lost feeling I get from separating from him and wrap my arms around his body. He leans into my embrace and looks up at me with large blinking eyes, pouting. "Mou hitori no ore?"
His nose scrunches up, voice small and plaintive. "I don't like math."
The corners of my mouth tug upward at his expression, but it quickly turns into a frown as I look down at his homework page. I puzzle over the foreign numbers and calculations, eyebrows drawn together. It bothers me that I can't figure this out, that I can't help my aibou, and I berate myself mentally for not having paid attention in class.
"Well, maybe…" I stop and look again. I will help Yugi with this; I can't tell him that I don't understand…
"You know what? I think I'll do something else for now." Yugi leans farther into me, burying his face in my chest, and a wave of something washes over me for that brief moment. Then, he pulls away slightly to get out another book, working on that.
"But what about your math?"
He smiles up at me. "Grandpa will help me with that, don't worry."
I nod, and Yugi rests against me as he finishes up the rest of his homework. It's seems childish and silly, I'm sure, but I'm upset that I couldn't help him when he needed it, even if it just was with his homework, and perhaps a bit jealous that he's going to someone else for it. I shake my head; it's his Grandpa, and that's completely ridiculous to begrudge him the time he spends with Yugi.
"Yugi! Come down for dinner!"
"Okay, Grandpa!" My aibou calls out the open door to downstairs. He presses a button on that music box, and a song starts playing.
"There, you can listen to that while I'm with Grandpa, okay?"
I nod, and Yugi bounds out the door, footsteps pounding down the stairs. I stand up and then resettle myself nearer to the music box, trying to hear the low song it's emitting better. I've never heard it before, and I can't quite make out the words as they're sung.
My mind wanders; there's very little to do, and I pick up one of Yugi's books. He reads it sometimes, a tale with a dragon and a thief, and I flip through it. If there's one thing I've managed to pick up from him, it's reading. I don't really understand why he reads this though; it sounds completely fantastical and unreal to me, but Yugi insists that it's half the appeal of the book.
"…Hmm?" I toss the book on the floor, just at the part where the thief got caught for stealing, and turn my attention back to the radio. That song… that's the one that Yugi likes!
Now, how do I make this louder? I know I can, but where's that knob thing to do it? There are two, so I pick one and start turning it. No! It's changed to some pounding nonsense noise that hurts my ears, a person screaming over the beat. Where's Yugi's song?
I turn the other knob quickly, hoping to find it again, but all I manage to make it do is get louder. So that's the one for volume. I cover my ears, taking a step back, because the music that blasts out of the small box is giving me a headache.
//Aibou! What is that?//
/…/
I can barely hear Yugi over the loud racket, but he appears at me side quickly, pushing a button and making it all shut off. I blink the machine, then him, and wait for the ringing in my head to stop. "Thanks, mou hitori no ore."
"You're welcome… but next time you want to do something, just ask, okay?"
"I will, aibou. I'm sorry."
"No, it's not your fault. I really should show you how to use all this, shouldn't I?"
I agree, because having him show me how to use all of these things means that we'll be spending a lot of time together, just the two of us. I don't really talk to any of his friends, and his Grandpa doesn't know about me, so he'll just show me how to do it himself.
"Well, at least Grandpa was leaving when you turned up the radio volume. I was able to get him out the door without many questions."
I nod my head; it would've been awful if I had gotten him into trouble. "So, he's gone. What would you like to do, mou hitori no ore?"
"Just spend some time with you." He smiles at me and takes my hand. I feel my chest tighten and my heart skip as he drags me downstairs into the living room.
We sit on the couch, and because there isn't much to do, I ask Yugi to read to me. I can do it myself, but I want to hear the sound of his voice. He laughs lightly, and I go to a shelf, randomly selecting a book. I don't care what he reads, just as long as he does it aloud.
"…This?" He blinks up at me, holding the book, and I shrug in response. "Well, okay then…"
I settle comfortably on the couch, arms open, and Yugi leans into me. He lounges across most of the cushions, feet up, with his head resting on my stomach. I feel the silk running through my fingers, and note absently that I started stroking his hair. Yugi makes a quiet, content sound, then opens the book.
"'Hey! Get back here!' I ran as fast as I could, trying to evade the Pharaoh's guards…" Yugi begins reading, and despite myself, I find that I listen closely to every word he says. I didn't know he had a storybook set in my… in ancient Egypt.
Memories swamp me, things I'd rather forget, and I feel like laughing at the stupidity of whoever wrote the book. I like hearing him read, though, and it isn't until late into the night when I finally stop Yugi, a low chuckle emerging from my throat. "Wrong…"
He looks up at me, waiting for me to continue. "They've got it all wrong…"
"What have they got wrong?"
"Everything… So far, there's an orphaned girl who becomes a slave… A slave the Pharaoh himself buys and favors… Who holds his ear and…" It's absurd, really, absolutely ridiculous.
"…And?" Yugi gently prods. I shake my head at him.
"The Pharaohs were a link from the people to the Gods… but they weren't always nice… Some were cold and cruel, sent thousands of people to their deaths without thought…"
Yugi doesn't say anything, just stares up at me with those large eyes of his, concern showing through. I don't want to think about it, remember… Just to forget, live now with Yugi. He nods as if he understands, can see right through me as if I'm made of crystal, and leads me slowly upstairs to his room.
He pulls off my jacket, tossing it onto a chair, and motions for me to sit while he goes back into the bathroom to brush his teeth. I don't move, just stand there where he left me, and try to block everything out. I shouldn't have picked up that book… I shouldn't have let him go on, say anything…
I just want to hold Yugi. He'll help me forget, make it all go away. He always does. I never say anything, just wrap my arms around him in a sort of reassurance that he's there, that we're here now. At the same time, though, it leaves me with an empty feeling and a desire for more.
Yugi doesn't speak when he comes back into the room. Normally, he just steps up to me and lets me hug him, his small arms tight around my stomach, but there's a curious glint in his eyes tonight. I can almost see the message in them, promising to help me forget, make me feel better. It sends a shiver down my spine, and he moves closer to me, just shy of touching.
"Mou hitori no boku…" Yugi's voice is soft, and his warm breath slides up my neck, over my chin. We're mere centimeters apart, and I'm frozen to the spot, unable to move as he closes the distance between us, reaching up to nuzzle the hollow of my neck with the tip of his small, pointed nose.
"A-aibou…" I stumble over my words, something I've never done before, and stare wide-eyed. He pushes his body further against mine, one leg wrapping around mine and moving slowly up the back of my knee. Without warning, he pushes forward at my chest, and I fall backwards, landing on the bed with my legs hanging off, bent at an angle.
Yugi throws one leg over my side as he gets onto the bed and crawls up my body. He lowers himself gently onto my stomach and leans forward so we're nose to nose, his arms braced on either side of my head. I don't know where this bout of aggressiveness came from, and quite frankly, I don't care as any and all attempts at pondering are cut off and my mind shuts down. All I know is that I like this- very, very much.
"…A-ah…" His small, pink tongue flickers out over my lips, and the tiny spark it provides is just intoxicating enough for me to want more. He runs it over the outline of my mouth, dipping it between my parted lips, then follows it downwards while he slides it from my mouth. Our lips brush, a light, teasing touch before Yugi pulls away slightly.
The edge of his thumb trails along my jaw line, nail scratching gently after it, and begins to rub the area below my bottom lip. My eyes slide partially closed, mimicking Yugi's half-lidded look of passion. The fingers on his other hand stroke slowly down from my chin, pausing just long enough to make quick work of the buckle around my neck before continuing their journey downward, drawing idle paths across my collarbone.
He's taking his time, hand rubbing over the fabric of my shirt, dipping the tips just below the collar. I can't take it anymore; he's going to drive me slowly insane. One hand reaches up and wraps around the back of Yugi's neck while the other rests on his hip; I lifted my head and mash our lips together. The kiss is sloppy, almost like a first for both of us all over again, but it satisfies some of aching need I felt to be pressed up against him, have his lips on me. My thumb slips under the waistband of his pants, absently rubbing over the ridge of his hipbone, when Yugi tears our mouths away from each other.
He rubs his thumb along my bottom lip, fingers splayed across my cheek, and lightly kisses the tip of my nose before pushing my head back down against the bed. His other hand presses down firmly on the upper part of my chest, and he leans down close, head tilted and eyelashes nearly brushing my cheeks. I remain perfectly still as our lips come in contact; his tongue licks lightly over my top lip, then his teeth pull gently down on my bottom lip.
Something sharp pricks my skin, grounding me on Earth and preventing that airy feeling in my head from taking over as Yugi starts to kiss my slack lips softly. The rough wetness of his tongue slides passed my parted lips, nudges my teeth apart, barely brushing against the roof of my mouth. The piercing, knife-like feeling increases as Yugi presses closer to me, slicing across my sternum in sharp contrast to the burning sensation that's spreading through my entire body like wildfire.
I open my jaw a bit wider, rubbing my tongue around the underside of Yugi's while he explores my mouth. I can taste the mint from his toothpaste as our tongues slip over each other, the wet heat scorching the delicate flesh of my inner cheek, gums, palate. Then it's gone, leaving me with a numbing cold as Yugi pulls back. Gold flashes, and he takes the Millennium Puzzle off from around his neck along with the buckle he wears, placing them carefully on the nightstand next to his bed. He opens the drawer and roots around in there, looking for something. He finds it and puts it next to his buckle, but I can't see what it is and don't care because his lips are on mine again, wet and hot and wonderful.
"…Y-Yugi…" It's little more than a half-strangled plea. He pulls back, smiling gently at the first time I've ever called him by his given name, and nods as if he understands perfectly what I can't seem to articulate.
More. That's what I want, only I don't know what more is. When I was Pharaoh, I was well aware of the fact that there were same-sex lovers, but I never paid the subject much attention so I was never quite sure what they did together, or rather how they did what they did. I had my duties to the country I ruled, the Shadow Realm, and several wives and children, then was sealed inside the puzzle just before I hit eighteen cycles. Now, though, I don't have any of that. Just Yugi. And somehow he's more than those things ever were, and I want… I want…
More.
Yugi's touch is electrifying as it trails across my clavicle, dipping into the hollow below my neck. His finger curves as it travels down, knuckles brushing my breastbone; my shirt parts as the buttons easily come apart. I gasp for breath, feeling the muscles in my stomach tense as he runs his hand over my skin, and his tongue draws a line up my jaw and down my neck. Vaguely, I feel the cramping pain in my fingers as I grip the sheets beneath me tightly, staring up at the ceiling with widened eyes.
"…Ai-ai… aibou…" His thumb presses against my lips in a request for silence as Yugi sucks on the ever quickening pulse in my neck. I merely respond by taking the digit into my mouth, licking over the salty flesh and nibbling softly.
"Eh?"
I use his momentary distraction to regain my balance, breaking out of the dazed stupor I had sunk into and settling myself firmly back on solid ground. I lift myself up, grabbing his shoulders, then flip us over so I'm on top. Yugi blinks in surprise, then finishes removing my shirt, brushing light, teasing touches across my chest, over my shoulders, and down my arms.
"My turn," I whisper and attack his mouth with my lips again. He answers enthusiastically, holding my face with his hands as my fingers fumble with the buttons of his shirt. I still don't know where this is going, what's going to happen, but I'm quite sure it doesn't involve either of us being fully clothed.
Images of flesh rubbing against flesh spurs me on, and soon, after a bit of difficulty, Yugi and I are draped over each other in a mass of tangled limbs and sweaty skin. Wonderful feelings and sensations build in me, things I haven't felt in millennia, things that spiral and rise in me and are made so much better because I'm feeling them with Yugi now.
It's awkward and uncomfortable at first, but Yugi guides me through and soothes me. Pleasure rises and peaks in waves that drown me, flowing through my entire body and saturating me until I burst. Our voices mingle together in sweet harmony, and everything drains out of me.
For one of the first times since Yugi solved my Puzzle, I'm well and truly tired. I lift myself and crawl off of him, ignoring the sense of loss as I feel his flaccid organ slip from my body, and collapse heavily at his side. My head rests on his chest, and I can hear as his heart beat slows back to normal, feeling each breath he breathes in. Our arms wrap loosely around one another, and I yawn, exhausted.
"Good night, mou hitori no ore… I love you…" I can feel his entire body tense up beneath me, but I'm not sure why, and I can't be bothered to attempt to dispel that airy feeling in my head to figure it out. My eyes flutter close, and distantly I can hear Yugi call out to me, but I don't want to leave the comforting darkness that's sliding over my consciousness. Don't worry, aibou, we'll talk about it in the…
Beep! Beep! Beep!
Hmm… Ah… What? Argh! It's that noise again, but it's louder than normal. Slowly, my senses return to me, and I realize I'm lying on something warm and firm and moving. What in the name of- Oh yes, Yugi.
"Mm…" I feel groggy and lethargic, something I haven't felt in over thousands of years, and want nothing more than to go back to sleep. But that noise just won't stop. "…Aibou?"
"Nn… Ah?" I rise with Yugi's chest as he yawns and stretches beneath me.
"…Mou hitori no boku… You have to move…"
I growl a bit with displeasure at that idea. I'd much rather stay right where I am. "No."
"Please… I have to go to school…"
"No, you don't." I know I shouldn't be telling him to stay home, that I should be helping him get up to go to school, but right now I want nothing more than to spend all day alone with him. Yugi's silence stretches on for so long I think maybe he's decided to stay after all.
"…If you don't move, I won't turn off the alarm clock."
Damn. I grumble while I move, losing the warm body I was using as a pillow when Yugi gets up. At least he shut off that annoying beeping noise. I curl back up under the blankets and try to go back to sleep, but I can't.
//Mou hitori no ore?//
/…Yes?/
//…I feel all sticky and disgusting.//
His amusement washes over me. /Would you like to take a shower?/
//Yes.//
/Wait a few minutes. I'll show you how to use the shower when I'm done./
It takes me just about as long to get up as it does for Yugi to get out of the shower. I yawn and rub my eyes, padding across the hall to the bathroom. He opens the door, slightly damp and dressed in his school uniform, Millennium Puzzle gleaming brightly against his shirt. I let him take my hand and lead me into the room; the tiles are cold against my feet, but the steamy air somewhat warms my shivering body.
"Here, you can use my toothbrush and paste to brush your teeth. And to turn the shower on, you just pull that knob out and push that in. Turn it to the left for hotter water and to the right for colder water. When you're done, just push that back in, okay?"
I nod and watch as he demonstrates how to use it several times. "I think I've got it."
"Good. That bottle over there is the soap, and these two are for your hair. You put in this one- the shampoo- first, then the conditioner. And that's it." He smiles at me and kisses my cheek. "I'm going to school now, but if you need any help, just call me."
Yugi turns to leave and I grab his arm. I blink in confusion, then sigh and shake my head. "You're not going to school without me, aibou."
"But I thought you wanted to take a shower."
"I'll do it later."
He glares at me angrily, and I flinch in surprise; I've never seen my aibou look at me like that. But I keep holding his arm; I won't let him leave without me.
"Stop treating me like a child," he demands, and then his expression softens. "I know you worry, but I'll be fine for today, honest."
I pull him closer to me and wrap my arms around him. I bow my head, eyes closed, and sigh. He leans into my embrace, nuzzling my bare chest. I swallow hard and whisper, "I just don't want to leave you."
"I know."
Yugi places a kiss on my chest and pulls away. "I'll be back, though. Stay here."
His hands hold me in place, and he smiles gently at me. I nod reluctantly; I really don't want to let him go off by himself, but I do anyway. It's the first time he's ever actually told me outright to stay behind, and I don't know how to react; underneath the shock is a building sense of hurt and pain.
He turns away from me, shutting the door as he leaves. I stare at the closed door, feeling a distinct sense of loss; just when I thought I had found the key, it slipped through my fingers, and now I'm locked out again. Water droplets condense on my body from the fogged air, and I shiver as it chills me, warmth seeping out of the room.
With slow movements, I turn on the taps and begin brushing my teeth with the toothbrush he left out for me- Yugi's toothbrush. It's that mint flavor I tasted on him last night, but it was much better coming from Yugi's mouth; on the toothbrush, it's overpowering, and I fight back the urge to gag. I wipe my mouth on a towel when I'm done, and turn to the shower.
Now, what did Yugi say about it? I watched and listened to him very carefully while he was showing me, but I wasn't really paying to what he was doing, more to Yugi himself. Yugi… I don't want to use our connection to ask him, so I'll figure this out on my own. There's a knob, but nothing happens when I turn it, so I try to pull it out instead, pleased when water starts pouring out.
Then, I frown. It's from the lower spout, and not that higher one that Yugi usually uses. How am I supposed to use that to bathe with? There's another knob, smaller, so I bite my lip and try to pull it out. It won't come out anymore though, so I try pushing it in. The water that suddenly shoots from top spout surprises me, but I smirk, satisfied that I was able to do it by myself.
I step into the spray, feeling a bit smug with myself, then immediately jump back. "ARGH!"
I slam into the wall hard, slipping slightly, as I try to stay away from the scalding, steaming water. How does Yugi bathe in this water? It's hotter than the desert sand when Re-Atum is high overhead! And it doesn't seem to be getting any cooler, either.
It's really unbearable, but I can't get out without walking under the water. So I inch along the wall, trying to reach that knob again. I vaguely recall Yugi saying something about it making the water hotter or colder, and if it doesn't, the least I can do it turn it off. The tips of my fingers brush across it, and I stretch as far as I can go, managing to turn the knob all the way to the right.
"DAMN IT!" The water goes from one extreme to the other, blasting me with a freezing spray. I curse this stupid, new way of bathing and wish desperately for the ones I had back when I was Pharaoh. The water was always the right temperature and perfumed, and I had several people waiting on me.
I start turning the knob again, slowly this time, and realize it gets gradually hotter or colder depending on which way I twist it. Finally, I find the right temperature and stand under the nice, warm spray, enjoying it. Some of the grime on my body washes away, and the pounding water is comforting.
My eyes open, and I look around the shower. There's a cloth I can use to wash myself, but what about soap? I frown; there's three bottles on the ledge of the bath, and I don't recognize any of them. I remember Yugi pointed them out and said that two were for my hair and one was soap, but which was which? Taking a random guess, I pick one up and flip the top open.
A white substance comes out of the bottle, and I try spreading it on my body, but it feels rather slimy and disgusting. That can't be right; I know a lot of things have changed, but I'm fairly certain this isn't soap. So, it must be for my hair. I squeeze some more out of the bottle and rub it in my multi-colored locks, leaving it in while I continue to search for some soap.
That leaves two bottles; one has a pinkish liquid in it, and the other bottle is opaque. I try the opaque one because, last I remember, soap was not pink. The top on this one is a bit harder to flip open, and when I turn it upside down, nothing comes out. I squeeze it a few times, then lift it higher to peer inside.
"OW!" A drop of whatever was inside plops onto my face, burning my eye. I throw the container out the shower and rub my eye, which doesn't seem to help at all. I stomp my foot, nearly falling over as I slip slightly, and step under the spray of water, trying desperately to get that stuff out of my eye.
Screw finding the soap.
I'm kind of glad no one is home right now, because I'm having a rather undignified moment. I can't help it though. I'm losing to a shower. It's incredibly frustrating. The slimy stuff finally comes out of my eye, though it still stings a little, and I decide against checking the last bottle. I just take the cloth, wet it, and rub it over my body, cleaning myself as best as possible.
The water's turning cold now, so I press the knob in, shutting it off. I step out of the tub, and my foot lands on the bottle I had previously thrown out. My arms wave wildly as I slip forward, and I bend over, banging my knee as I end in an odd, uncomfortable position with both hands on the floor, one leg stretched far out in front of me and the other over the tub ledge. I snarl angrily and glare.
Stupid bottle.
After a few select curses and a struggle with a towel, I manage to get myself dried off and trudge into Yugi's room. I yawn loudly and stretch; I'm still tired, and my muscles are sore. The outfit I wore yesterday is thrown across the floor, and I don't particularly want to put that back on, but I don't have a choice. None of Yugi's clothes fit me.
The house is eerily quiet when I'm all by myself, and I get bored very quickly. I'm not quite sure how to work any of these new things, so I don't want to touch them. I promised Yugi I wouldn't anyway; the last time I did, it was something called toaster, and I threw it across the room and broke it. Yugi says I shouldn't have pushed the button down, then stuck my finger inside of it. How was I supposed to know what it did?
When he first solved the Puzzle, I didn't pay much attention to what Yugi did, and then I started paying attention more to Yugi himself, rather than what he was doing. So I never quite got around to figuring out what most of this new stuff did.
I open Yugi's window in his room and stick my head outside; Re-Atum is high overhead, so it must be sometime around midday. What to do… what to do… I look at Yugi's bed and bite my lip in indecision. It's an absolute mess, and I know the hardened fluid on it is my fault. I should get something to clean that up, but I don't want to think about what we did on it to make that mess. Not until Yugi comes home, and we can talk about it; the rejection is too fresh in my memory.
But I'm bored with nothing to do, and my mind wanders in that direction despite my protests. So I stand and walk to around the hallway, opening doors to find a new pair of sheets. Finally, I find a closet, and pick out a white set of sheets to put on his bed. Changing bed linens can't be too difficult, can it?
I pull all the covers off his bed and throw them into a pile in the corner of the room, because I'm not entirely sure what to do with them. I pick up the fresh ones I brought and frown; there are two large sheets. I choose the one with some elastic on it to go on the bottom and try to fit it on, turning it every which way.
I put one corner onto the mattress, but it's too short the way I have it, so I have to turn it around. Three corners go on without a hitch, and I feel quite pleased with myself until I get to the fourth. It's a rather tight fit, and I yank it down hard. Unfortunately, it's the side near the nightstand, and my elbow hits against its corner with a resounding crack.
"DAMN!" Today really isn't my day, is it?
My fingers lightly massage the sore joint, and I lean against the offending nightstand. Unfortunately, I happen to rest against something, and it begins beeping at me. That noise again! I jump away in surprise and fall over the second sheet that I had left on the floor, landing heavily on my arms.
"Ow…" The persistent beep forces me off the floor, if for no other reason than to shut it off, and I glare at the small, black box-like thing. I really don't care what it's called; that damn thing's out to get me.
I poke at it, pressing various buttons in, but nothing will make it stop, and I have no idea how Yugi does it. I don't want to use our connection to ask him either; he's probably in class, and I don't want to bother him. But if that damn thing doesn't shut up, it's going to drive me insane.
After several long moments, I snarl in frustration and just yank the stupid thing up. The black cord attached to the wall comes out, and I gather the entire thing in my arms, then throw it as far out the window as I can manage.
Yugi can just get up with Re-Atum like I used to do.
I walk back over to the bed and pick up the second bed sheet. This one isn't nearly as difficult to put on, and I manage to finish making the bed without any further problems, though stuffing pillows into those smaller sheets is hard.
I'm bored again, so I wander downstairs and sit on the couch, staring at the wall. I'd try to use that box with moving pictures Yugi watches a lot, but I don't want to risk breaking that too. One of Yugi's things a day is plenty. Maybe if I'm lucky, he won't notice though.
There's absolutely nothing to do in the house; I've never been this bored in my entire life. I stand up and pace around the living room, but it's no good. Not without Yugi here. I wonder what class he's in right now, and what he's doing. Does he miss me at all? I hope nobody's picking on him. Joey and his other friends are there to stand up for him, but I'd feel better if I was too.
Except he told me to stay home.
Maybe I'll surprise him and walk him home from school. I know my way there, and he can't yell at me for getting into trouble. Unless he finds out about the beeping thing, of course. Maybe I can distract him before that. I smirk, thinking of one particular way I'd like to distract him if he'd let me, and get up.
I walk outside and make my way down the street. I know exactly where Domino High School is, but I think I'll go the round about way, going to the park first. I'm fairly sure Yugi isn't out of school yet, and I don't want to wait for a very long time at the gate for him. I'd get bored again, and if Yugi saw me while looking outside his classroom window, he'd be upset with me.
It's rather unpleasant outside, all warm and humid, air thick with water. Some bird screeches loudly overhead, and I grimace; it sounds like that damn beeping thing. I start to run, because I'm becoming paranoid. I half-expect them to start dropping from the above, screeching their loud shrill and driving me slowly out of my mind.
I miss Yugi.
"Sandy! STOP!"
I turn at the loud yell, and my eyes widen. A large dog with golden, shaggy hair is running toward me, leash flying after it. I barely catch a glimpse of the short woman who was walking it, before I turn and run like Death's nipping at my heels. Or a dog.
"SANDY! NO!" The dog's obviously not listening to the woman, and I have no idea why it's chasing me. What did I ever do to it? Stupid, stupid mutt.
"Argh!" It bumps into me from behind, and I fall forward. The palms of my hands sting and my knees throb in pain, and I soon find my face more intimate with the ground than I ever wanted it to be.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, sir! She just got away from me!" The woman profusely apologizes, but I just shrug her off, gather up my body and dignity, and walk off with a slight limp.
I hate dogs.
I've hated them ever since I was small and one tried to attack me. Why can't people have cats for pets? I had several cats when I was Pharaoh, and none of them ever attacked me. They were dignified, graceful creatures that didn't run around with their tongues hanging out of their mouths, slobbering everywhere. I grimace in disgust and rub my hand across my cheek, trying get the dog's saliva off of it.
I increase my pace as I walk to the school. Today has really been a horrible day, and I just want Yugi back. He'll smile his smile at me and assure me there was a perfectly logical, caring reason for telling me to stay home instead of going with him to school and just improve my day in general. Maybe we'll snuggle on the couch later, because I don't want him going into his room and finding out what I did to that annoying box thing, and he'll make it all better.
Yugi's school comes into view, and I lean against the gate to wait, hands in my pockets. I smile at my good timing as I don't have to stand there very long until students start pouring out of the school doors in mobs. Yugi… Yugi… I scan the crowd for him, looking for a mass of spiked hair amid the taller teenagers.
"Hey…! You're Yugi's other half, right?"
I stop short of calling out to Yugi using our connection and turn to his two friends. I nod my head in greeting to each of them. "Joey. Tea."
"Hi." Tea smiles at me brightly, but a slight frown mars Joey's feature. I don't care right now, though, and get straight to the point.
"Where's my aibou?"
"Your aibou?" Tea's smile dims, and she gets a thoughtful, if somewhat sad, look on her face.
"Yes. Do you know where he is?"
"He was going to help Bakura with something," Joey informs me. He grabs my arm as I turn to go find Yugi, and I glare at him for trying to keep me from my aibou. "Look, maybe you should just go back home, yeah?"
"I think you should listen to Joey. Yugi will be there soon."
I narrow my eyes even further as my anger flares. I've had a really horrible day, and I just want Yugi. How dare they try to keep me away from him! "Let go of me."
My voice is cold, and they step back in surprise, Joey releasing his grip on my arm. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. These are Yugi's friends; I'm sure he wouldn't want me to be mean to them. "I'm going to go find my aibou now."
I turn away from them and stalk off, going through the gate and winding my way through the diminishing number of students. I would try to call out to Yugi, but I don't want him to feel my anger right now. He's not in the front of the building, so I continue my search around the sides of it, combing the grounds for him.
There's a slight noise from around the corner and a muffled voice. I make my way towards the sound, hoping to find Yugi, then I stop short. I… I… I… My mind flounders for something other than the shocked pain that's tearing through me right now. But there's nothing else. The slight sound of gravel under feet, the shift of cloth against cloth, the small puffs of breath… It all echoes deafeningly loud in my ears. A throbbing, agonizing pain builds between my temples, and my chest feels like its about to explode.
No. No! NO! NO, NO, NO! It can't be! IT CAN'T BE! …Why? Why would he do that to me? WHY? I can't escape it, can't get rid of the excruciating ache that's flowing through my entire body. I never thought he would… but he did. How could he? The raw, sharp pain lacerates me and buries itself deep in my body with a knife-like, piercing sensation.
And it hurts, it hurts, it hurts like nothing's ever hurt before. I can't escape the torment. It plays over and over again in my head, and all I see is a picture of Yugi with his arms wrapped around his neck, kissing that… that… THING! That white-haired freak… The other half of that gods-be-damned tomb robber.
It's physical pain that stops me from drowning in my sea of emotional agony; my lungs burn, my sides ache, and the palms of my hands and knees sting. I'm kneeling on the floor of Yugi's living room, bent over and staring at the ground, but I can't remember how I got here. Everything hurts, inside and out, and I stare numbly at the warm liquid that trickles down my cheeks and drops onto my hands.
/…Mou hitori no boku?/ The anxiety and unease I feel emanating only further increases my pain. No. I don't want his concern; I don't want his sympathy; I don't want his… pity.
I just want him.
But I don't have him. …Bakura does. He's become untouchable to me, just when the answer to everything I've wanted was so close, so tangible. He's slipped through my fingers like the smoky wisps of a forgotten dream, and the pain of loss is only that much more acute because for a brief period of time, I had him. He was mine, and I wrapped him in my embrace, unaware that it was all held together by finely spun thread, so easily breakable.
"Mou hitori no boku!"
I can't… I don't want to see Yugi. Don't want to be reminded of what I can't have. Not yet. One day, I will, but not now. I'm caught in a whirlwind of pain and confusion, and I try to reach my soul room, but I can't remember how. I stumble up the stairs, hearing Yugi coming in the front door, and throw myself into the first room I find.
Yugi's room.
Damn it. Not the place I want to be right now. Everything in it mocks me- the bed, the sheets I put on it, the discarded comforter. I lean heavily against the door and close my eyes to block out the images. I wish very much I had never gotten out of bed this morning. Stupid beeping thing.
"Please… Mou hitori no boku, let me in. Please, let me talk to you."
The words are softly spoken, an emotion filled plea, but they feel like whip-crack demands that cut through my already torn, battered body. Everything drains out of me, trickles to the floor at the sound of his voice, leaving me a shell, completely and utterly empty.
I walk on unsteady legs across the room and stare out the window, leaning on the sill for support. The door opens and shuts quietly, and I can feel Yugi's presence in the room, watching me. Unable to help myself, I turn my head to look at him. "…Mou hitori no boku…"
His eyes are shining with tears, a single drop leaking out the corner of one eye, and his voice cracks. If this were a few days ago, even just this morning, I would fly into a rage at whoever or whatever dared make my aibou cry after I did my very best to comfort him. Now, I don't care. There's nothing left to care.
"I'm sorry… I'm so very sorry… I didn't know last night meant so much to you, that you… I mean, it meant a lot to me too, but I… And when Ryou…" More tears leak from his eyes as he pleaded with me. "Please, talk to me."
I turn to fully face him, but I have nothing to say. There's nothing I can say; nothing that would matter, at any rate. He looks uncertain, and he grips his forearms tightly with his fingers, like he's trying to prevent himself from running up to and hugging me.
"I… Last night, I wanted to do what we did, but I didn't realize that you meant more than I did… That you loved me. I… I wanted to help you, too, because nothing else I did seemed to… Then you fell asleep and I couldn't… I didn't realize you wanted to be my…"
Lover? He looks at me helplessly, waiting for me to say something. The silence stretches on, long and uncomfortable, so he continues. "I've had feelings for Ryou for a while now. I thought you knew… But you didn't, and I was a mess because I didn't want to hurt your feelings… He asked me what was wrong, so I told him. That's when he… After he told me how he felt, that he didn't mind if we all, because he and… We're a couple now, but…"
"You don't love me." My voice rings hollow in my ears, but that's exactly how I feel.
"Mou hitori no boku... Not loving you would be like not loving a part of myself. And I can't do that. But... I love Ryou, too. I want him, and if you want... You can accept what we offer or not, the choice is yours."
He opens his arms to me, and something twinges deep inside of me, something I never noticed before. It burns away the numbness and as I stand there, staring at his open arms and the choice he gives me, I come to a sudden and startling realization. So I step into his embrace, wrapping my own arms around him in turn as he leans into me. I can't do anything else. Despite being his "darker" half- the cool, calm, strong half he can rely on- it's all a charade, a fragile mask I wear. Because the truth is, he doesn't need me. Not like I need him.
If I were to leave and never come back, he'd go on. I wouldn't be able to, can't survive without him. And it has nothing to do with the Puzzle, either. He's my lifeline, the only thing saving me from drowning in this foreign world. I've become so entangled in him, without even realizing it, that the entirety of me is completely dependent on him; every time we're apart I can feel the invisible bonds tugging at me, pulling me apart.
So I make the only decision I can and grasp what little he gives me, clutching at it tightly. I suppose it's rather pathetic, really; a former Pharaoh, ruler of all of Egypt, stripped of my dignity and begging for scraps from the hand of a mortal boy like some half-starved dog. A beautiful, wonderful, enchanting mortal boy who has me completely enthralled, caught up in chains of my own devising, and prepared to cater to his every whim like the tawdry whore I've become.
We stand like that for what seems like eternity, yet still far too short a time for my liking, not saying anything until Yugi pulls back slightly. He smiles his gentle, loving smile at me, one I know I'll do anything to see, and sets me down on the bed. Yugi sits down next to me, large eyes looking into mine, and I feel suddenly naked, like I've been laid bare for him to pick apart and examine at his leisure. He smiles at me again, face full of understanding, and nods.
"It's been a long day… Let's take a nap, okay?"
The emotional and physical wear on me is too much, and I lay down, letting him arrange the blankets over me. He slips in beside me and curls into my body, snuggling against the warmth I provide. "Here… We'll get up in a few hours for dinner, all right?"
I nod and close my eyes, feeling him shift away slightly. There's a pause, and then he rests his hand lightly on my shoulder, a questioning note in his voice.
"Where's my alarm clock?"
"Would you believe me if I said it tried to kill me?"
There. It's over now… Again. I don't really like the revised lemon or the bit before that, but there you have it. Oh well, I had fun getting Yami to call himself a tawdry whore. *Grins* On a side note, I had Yugi call Bakura "Ryou" instead, because, well, Ryou is his first name, and it's more personal than "Bakura". The sequel is in the making, promise. Blame excessive schoolwork, my wandering muse, short attention span, and the fact that Yami's being a reluctant narrator for the delay. For those of you who asked, it's going to be Yami*Yugi, Ryou*Yugi, Yami*Ryou*Yugi, mentions of Yami Bakura*Ryou*Yugi and Yami Bakura*Ryou, before ultimately ending up as Yami Bakura*Ryou*Yami*Yugi. (Gods, that's a mouthful ^^;; ) Anyway… Please review?
