Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi
"Do you ever think we could ever pick up where we left off?" He says, and it's the sentence that he's been wondering ever since she brushed the falling flakes off of his black jacket. He's been wondering this ever since they cut it off, and even though he's honestly wondering this, he regrets saying it. Because she's Clare Edwards and of course she doesn't want to. Where they left off is a broken night at a hospital. They left off with broken edges and fumbled tongues. But he doesn't mean that. He means when they were in love and held each other when the howling wolves searched for them. He means when they were happy.
She stares at him, and everything seems new to him, because maybe it is. Maybe it's a start of a new era, or maybe they'll just crash and burn. He doesn't know. He doesn't care to know, because the moment is now. And snow is falling. And the world knows who they are. And everything is Clare Edwards. It's the pink on her cheeks and the white snow melting off her lashes. It's the way her breath puffs out in big clouds in front of her. It's all her, and it always has been.
She doesn't answer. And Elijah Goldsworthy begins to wonder if he even needs one. Maybe the answer is in the way she's smiling. Or in the way she's stepping closer. Or in her blushing. Maybe the answer is how she's taking his hand and leading him around the carnival. The answer is in the way she doesn't speak, but how her eyes dance.
He had built his life around her. And he had to tear that wall down, piece by piece. It was a rocky and horrific mess, but he slowly cleaned it up. But now, he feels that wall coming back up, but this time around, the wall is built around him. And it's nice, because he feels like he can trust himself. Sure, he feels the old wall coming back up, but he pushes it down, because the night at the hospital cannot happen again. He won't let it.
He's somehow not surprised where she leads him. He stands in a parking lot. A parking lot that sits in front of a school. Now, right now, the boy who feels okay is standing at a beginning. It's a beginning of something that made him lose everything, but gain knowledge on how the world works. They're just far enough away from the noise, that silence finds place in the wind. Their hands are still clasped tight together, and warmth has the boy by the neck.
They both look up to the sky, and Elijah Goldsworthy is okay. He has his answer, and he is staring at a beginning that starts whenever he wants it to. He's been up and he's been down and he's felt the landslide that is life, but it's okay, because he knows that the clothed mitten wrapped around his bare skin is here to stay.
