I love her.
I hate him.
She will marry me and we will grow old together.
I will not marry him nor will I grow old.
Her heart belongs to me and mine to her.
His heart belongs to me and mine to no one.
She will be the death of me.
I will be the death of him.
Clarissa Adele Fairchild sat in her chamber, brushing out the wild mane of red hair she had been cursed with. Soon Isabelle, Clary's lady in waiting, would enter and tame the curls into tiny, beautiful braids and paint her face natural colours, making her stunning, emerald green eyes pop. It was her wedding day and oh how she dreaded it. She could see the reflection of the sun off her fiancée's hair, her own reflection in his dark eyes, filled with desire to make her, his own. No. Her eyes flew open at a startling speed. It was all wrong. His hair was too white, his eyes too dark. Not a golden, honey colour that sent her heart racing but a black, cold and cruel. Sebastian would be waiting at the end of a long, long aisle, twinkling lights shimmering over his body in a dazzling parade of colour. The stain glass windows, the hard, wooden pews, the crowd of people she does not know and her fiancée. Clary could see it all but it was all wrong. She didn't want this but she had to do it, but for her but for Jace, her golden boy.
Clary sat on grassy hill, strong arms wrapped around her waist and Jace's chin resting on top of her head.
"I love you, Clary," he whispered in her ear, his sweet breath tickling slightly. She sighed lovingly. Her life was perfect, Jace was perfect and he was all hers.
"I love you too Jace." The reply came easily, it always had and she knew in her heart she meant what her words had just expressed. Clary had never felt this way for anyone but with Jace. She would never feel this way for anyone but Jace.
"I will never tire of hearing that beautiful," his voice growled, rough and sexy. Then he had her flipped over on her back, the smell of dirt just under her fingers. His hands were on her stomach and she didn't feel the need to stop him as Jace's lips pushed forcefully forward, melding to fit her own. The kisses were sweet and passionate, hidden secrets shared between two lovers. They soon turned messy and hungry as lust for one another overtook their minds. The kisses went no further then that. Kisses. Rolling off Clary, Jace lay looking up at the moon, his golden eyes drawing in his surroundings with almost a possessive need. And then they landed on Clary, making her snuggle into his body. The desire she saw in those orbs ignited a flame of her own and made her long for his kisses once again. Being able to touch his smooth skin was enough to cool that fire, for now. They heard the bell in town, chiming loudly twelve times, signalling the dawn of a new day, their last day together. Standing up, Clary turned to pull the always reluctant Jace to his feet but instead found him already up, or at least halfway. Bent on one knee was a golden angel, Clary's golden angel. He looked up at her through thick eyelashes as he drew out a small velvet covered black box from his back pocket. A small yelp escaped Clary's lips as she fully registered the sight before her.
"Clarissa Adele Fairchild, you are an angel and possess both the beauty and wisdom of one. Since the first time I saw you, and your stupid nerd friend," he added under his breath, "I knew that I was lost. Lost to you Clary." Tears started to fall down her cheeks as the words flowed from his mouth. "Clary I want you to be mine forever and ever, both in life and after death. Marry me baby?" The last line was pushed out in a force of air, as though Jace was scared of being rejected. He looked up and saw Clary, tears streaming down her face in a never-ending stream. He was on his feet and holding her, whispering sweet nothings in her ear as she cried whispering a single word over and over.
"Yes."
"What?"
"Yes!"
And then Clary was in his arms, both of them spinning around as they cried and laughed together. Forever, Clary thought. Then they were kissing, again. Soft and loving, salty tears mingling on their lips. A warm feeling filled Clary's insides.
"I love you, Jace."
"And I-" but his voice was cut off, replaced by dark red blood, foaming on his lips. Coughing and spluttering, Clary's screams ripped through the night, tearing the happiness apart like knives through meat. His body crumpled to her feet and her arms wound around him, clutching him to her chest in a desperate act of love.
"Come back to me, Jace. JACE!" His name killed her but she couldn't stop saying it. A silent mantra to keep her sane. She rocked back and forth, back and forth before realising there was a small puncture hole in his neck, a dart in the vein. The Morgenstern star on its tip. She knew who it was and she knew why. Sebastian would die for what he had done.
One step at a time. One foot after the other. That was all she focussed on as the sound of the wedding march played through the old organs that sat in the corner of the creaking chapel. She did not look ahead but instead at her feet, making sure they followed her minds instructions with careful precision. She knew what would come next; she just had to make it to the altar.
Reaching for Sebastian's hand, Clary noticed a slight shaking in her fingertips as her tiny palm rested upon his. She risked a glance up and was repulsed at what she saw. Sebastian's dark eyes pinned down on her, his smile wide and the brightest she had ever seen it. Her own lips formed a tight grimace as she glanced back towards their entwined hands, settling once again on the priest who stood in front of them. Getting into Sebastian's heart had been too easy, for she was already there. Getting through the ongoing dates to finally the proposal was torturous, an endless process that only left pain in her chest where once a heart had beat. It had beaten only for Jace, but he was gone. He would never come back. And that was the only thing that kept Clary going, pushing her towards Sebastian in hope for revenge. He would lose something he loved just as Clary had lost Jace. This was all for Jace, her golden angel.
The ceremony passed fairly quickly and soon the promise of love was upon them.
"Do you, Sebastian Morgenstern, take Clarissa Fairchild to be you lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold forever and ever?" He drawled as he recited the lines and Clary had to squeeze her lips together to contain the laughter that bubbled inside her.
"I do," Sebastian replied, gazing lovingly towards his extremely soon-to-be wife.
"And do you, Clarissa Fairchild, take Sebastian Morgenstern to be you lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold forever and ever?" The words resonated in her head as the priest's eyes moved to face her. This was it, now or never. Jace, she whispered in her mind. My Jace.
"No way in hell!" She spat the words toward him, venomous in nature. His face was hilarious, a mixture of confusion and anger flooded Sebastian's features. But Clary had no time to savour this moment. She spun into action. The blade was drawn from her billowing sleeves, and before anyone could move, plunged into her own heart. Sebastian's roar of rage echoed through the silence of the chapel as he grabbed at his fiancée's forearms, dragging her to stand. Looking into those cruel eyes, Clary knew she had made the right decision.
"Jace," she whispered so only Sebastian could hear. The last thing she saw was his face contort into a mask of terror as he realised she knew. A hysterical laugh bubbled over her lips as she drew her last breath. Then everything was white.
Blinking to clear the haze, Clary wandered forward over a hill. It was nice, leisurely even, and she knew she had made the right decision.
"Clary," a voice echoed from behind her. Spinning in a blur of motion, tears formed in her eyes as she saw him. Jace. Her Jace. He golden angel. They embraced one another and she reached up to press her lips to his, to make sure he was there.
"I love you Jace," she cried into his shirt as he held her, stroking her hair and rubbing soothing circles into her back.
"My, aren't we a mess dear," he chuckled to himself. That laugh, his touch, everything about him Clary had missed so much. He took her faced in his long, calloused hands. Tilting her chin upward so their eyes met, she couldn't look away. Those golden orbs held her in place.
"I love you too, Clary." And then he placed his lips to her forehead; pressing them into her skin with such a force she knew his words were sincere. Brushing away her tears and his own, Jace smiled down lovingly at Clary. His Clary. She had come back to him.
"Now where were we?" And with that he slid down onto one knee, a black velvet box in his palm. Flipping open the lid, Clary was faced with a diamond band and in the centre, an emerald.
"When a girl says she wants a big rock," she whispered down to him, "She doesn't literally mean a big rock."
