Disclaimer: Xelloss does not belong to me. Although I wish he did. |^_^| Neither does the song I used. "One Man Army" belongs to the band Our Lady Peace. Warnings: This fic contains ANGST and it is DARK and TWISTED, well that is all...well it is somewhat yaoi. *sighs* I was having a really bad day when I wrote it. I mean a REALLY bad day. There are scenes of rape. Not graphic, mind you. I wasn't that depressed.

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One Man Army

((Take these plastic people)) ((Read their lips, now let it linger))

~Flashback~ Once again Xelloss stared around him at all of the people present...what did he do to deserve this? Had it been the seventh...no...the eighth time today that be had been beat. Beat and raped. They were speaking, all of them...not at once, but they had all said something, or was it more than just one thing? Xelloss was being straddled now. The man on top of him had done this often enough, Xelloss knew to do what he had been told. The man hit him. 'Useless.' He thought the word described him perfectly.

((Is there anything that makes them sound sincere?))

But, if he was truely useless, as it seemed, why would he be alive? Why would he be treated the way he was? Obviously, this was his use...he liked the pain it caused, physically...learned to like it. Mentally, the scars were still there. 'Do they love me? Is this what love is?'

(Com'on))

The voice pulled in his head as he cried in the corner of the dark room that they had shoved him into when they were all done with their fair share. Xelloss lifted his head to see who was speaking to him. Whoever it was probably just wanted something from him. He stood up and tried to look defiant. After all, they liked that. This time, it was a woman. That was unusual. He had never actually looked at a woman in his whole life. As he gazed at her she looked almost innocent in the dark...'the light in the dark' he thought. She seemed kind...and then she took a drag of the unnoticed cigerette in her hand, and smiled darkly.

((Tightly hold your hand)) ((Take a deep breath, give them the finger))

She was telling him to defy them all? What was this power she spoke of...Xelloss was curious. Cautiously he came over too her, hardly noticing his own bruised and tattered condition. He had never been modest, even in front of newcomers, after all, he always lost what he had to be modest about. Looking up at her, his violet eyes shone, and she pitied him. Holding a hand out she watched as his insides cringed, obviously expecting a beating. Even though he did not flinch outwardly, she saw.

((Are you worried)) ((That your thoughts are not quite clear?))

'No.' Xelloss decided that the lady was not a threat. 'Maybe, she is here to take me...away.' He had never seen the sun...never wanted too. But he had wanted to see the moon. Xelloss wanted to see the moon, as he killed every one of his agressors, in cold blood. 'I wonder...what blood looks like...' A large twisted smile crossed his face. Dark. Grim. Like the body that had lost it's soul a long time ago.

((Twitch))

Xelloss screamed. It was, painful...in a good way. He was changing. The lady was changing him. Giving him the power he needed to kill them all. Kill all of the ones who had done this to him. Watch their blood flow out of their vital organs as he, with his bare hands, slaughtered them and ripped them all apart. Xelloss had the power, and would continue to have it, if he served the lady, Greater Beast Xelas Metallium. She was nice, twisted, but nice. She has also given him her name. To use, and keep for all eternity as he served her. As a demon, her general, and priest.

((Overlooked, unfit appearance))

~Present Time~

((I remember falling))

My first task...to kill all of the gold dragons. Pity, they were gorgous creatures, I guess I love them. So oblivious to the world around them. They had already done one of my tasks for me. They have killed alot of the ancient dragons. Now, I will kill them.

((I remember marching))

I came to the gate and asked to enter their home. Unknowingly, and to trustworthy these dragons are. Of course, they let me in. Although they asked me my name when I did get in, I replied with "Sore wa himitsu desu!" and a bright smile. Interesting, that phrase worked.

((Like a one man army))

I held up my arms once I was in, and chanted a large fire spell. I felt...no, I didn't feel anything for the creatures before me. Not even pity, or remorse. I just wanted to see their blood, flowing through my fingers. Dripping, dripping to the ground in large red waves. The thought excited me.

((Through the blaze))

I walked through the fire that I had created. The burning sensation placed pleasure through my veins. I could hear them scream. I could hear them cry for mercy...and I smiled. Then, I opened my eyes, _my_ violet eyes. The new formed slit pupils that I could now call my own.

((I know i'm coughing))

The smoke drifted down my throat and into my lungs. It got to me and I coughed a bit. Inhaling the scent of dragons, burning. I began to laugh, almost scaring myself. I fed, off of the anger, the hate, and the fear that I sensed. Overwhelming.

((I believe in something))

I thought for a moment. I want something, to remind me of this day. Something worth keeping.. So I took their souls. I encased them in to crystals. Red crystals. With the elders' souls, I created a very large red orb of power. Thus, with that, I made a staff. To symbolize their blood. Their screams. Their pain.

((I don't want to remember falling))

My mind snapped, I heard one scream in particular. My own. I remembered _them_. The people I loathed. But also, the people I had killed. They still haunt me...In dreams...nightmares.

((For their lies))

Dragons...they stand for justice? Even if they kill their own kind? Disgraceful. That appeases me. I am glad, actually, impressed...I had killed them all. I had loved every moment of it.

((Unbutton your clothes))

Another one, seduced. I grow tired of this game. Every lover...every one that I have taken, doesn't appease me. They do not understand what I am. If they do, they just want to brag. So when I am through with them, they die. I never loved them. They never loved me.

((Undress your soul, show them your vigor))

I was asked once, if I even had a soul. At the time I hadn't thought about it. But I do. I guess I do. A mazoku that feels? Is that possible?

((Are those inhibitions easiest to fear?))

I fear..that I may have some emotions. Though I would never want to admit it. I hate the emotions that I do have. I am not supposed to feel them at all, still, I do feel them. Feel them hurt.

((Com'on))

Lina-tachi. I have just joined, well, followed her small group for about a month now. Each person, has such an intriguing and different personality. Lina, her firey temper, and always optimistic spirit. Yet bad to the bone. I giggle at this thought, and Ameria looks up to where I am sitting in the tree above. One could almost see her always staring at Zelgadis, everyone knows of her crush. I dislike this one, but then again, there is always someone in a group who one dislikes. Justice. I hate the word. Touching the red crystal, I remember why. I turn my attentions elsewhere. Gourry. The name explains it all. He knows more than he lets on. Too slow to catch on, but, knows more wisdom than the rest of them all. Yet, still a puppy, who is in love with Lina. Shaking my head, I look at the last of the party...

((Take this gasoline tin))

Zelgadiss Greywords...Almost the signature freak of the group, if it hadn't been for me. He is a chimera. One third golem, one third Mazoku, like me, and one third...human. Cold, almost non-caring...he goes about his business every day. I love to tease him. I know he hates me for it...but I love to torment him so much, he is the reason I don't leave.

((Head up high, walk like a winner))

Still, I pretend he doesn't get to me. I pretend that I don't...don't? Don't what? Love...That must be it. I pretend that I don't love him...even though, I know that I do. Xelas...she will not approve. That is why I must take my leave. I can't stand to be so close to him...but so far away that I can't do anything. Shaking my head I jump from the tree. "Well, it has been a pleasure," I bow, "Thank you all, for tolerating me." "Mr. Xelloss?" That was Ameria, "Where are you going?" "Sore wa himitsu desu! Actually, I won't be comming back." Zel...did he look...sad? No...it couldn't...he is always sad...If only... "Xelloss, what are you up too?" Zelgadiss seemed somewhat edgy. "Yare yare...na! Zel-chan!!" I ran over to him...I couldn't say what I wanted to, he wouldn't take it seriously. I opened both my eyes in front of him, I didn't care what the others thought. "Zelgadis," I started, "I--" I couldn't say it...it would leave me attached. I don't like being attached. Especially to something that wasn't mine. So instead, instead of words, I kissed him. I kissed him, until I felt the impact of a fist hit my jaw bone. He didn't care...not about me.

((Let the bare feet be the last sounds that they hear))

"Fruitcake!!" I closed my eyes, trying to hide my hurt, more mental pain...I couldn't take the emotional strain. So I turned, and walked away...and then phased out, I wish I had forever...

((Twitch))

I flung my head down on my pillows...and I cried...for the first time in my life, ever since...then...I cried. I cried for the person that I loved...and the person who didn't love me back. That hurt. The rejection..hurt. The emotion...hurt.

((All their "love", unfit I feel))

I felt unwanted, again, unneeded. I stopped caring about the world...and decided that if I couldn't have him to myself, I would enjoy the blood of his body dripping over my skin. Killing the one I loved...Interesting. Wasn't that what happened with the dragons?

((I remember falling))

I snuck into his tent and floated above him, watching him sleep. "Zelgadis." I whispered. Abruptly his eyes sprang open and he looked me in the face. "Go. Away. You. Fruitcake."

((I remember marching))

I just looked at him, I couldn't go away, not now. He would die...painfully...by my hand. I had already cast a sleep spell on the others. They wouldn't wake. Not now.

((Like a one man army))

Zelgadiss dodged my attacks easily. Swiftly. But really, I hadn't been trying.

((Through the blaze))

I stepped right through his fireball. Easy. The burning sensations were already going away...the tingling feeling of pain stuck.

((I know i'm coughing))

I didn't see him...I didn't see him move..He stabbed me, through the stomach..and then he cast a Raw Tilt upon his sword. Astral Plane magic...I couldn't fight him anymore. I could have easily gotten away..He stole my heart, what was left of my soul, and now, my life.

((I believe in something))

I had to tell him, then, before I was over, before everything came to an end. "Zelgadiss...I..." choking on the words, I knew I had to get them out, "I love you..." I watched as his eyes went wide, shock...and a flicker of something else...disgust?...I couldn't watch this.. I couldn't watch my self be disreguarded again. I turned my head away. I waited, I wished death would approach faster.

((I don't want to remember falling))

In love...Shaking my head, I thought. 'It couldn't happen...I...a mazoku in love..who would have thought..'

((For their lies))

People had said those words to me before...all they loved, was my skin, and how it sweat beneath their hands. Shuddering, I felt the blackness take over my body.

((Crawling, I remember falling))

I kneeled before my master now. Xelas. She looked...dissappointed in me. Yet still, she had brought me back to life..Used? Again...

((I remember marching))

"Supress? Erase?.." It sounded horrible... to erase one's memories. "Yes, Xelloss, erase them. You won't feel anymore." Nodding, I waited for them to be wiped out. "One more chance, Xelloss."

((Like a one man army))

"So!" I said in my usually cheerful voice, "Where are we going today Lina?" "Nowhere in particular. Why do you even ask?" Came an unfamiliar voice from behind me. "Sore wa himitsu desu!" The chimera, who's name I haven't even learned yet, sighed and walked ahead of the group.

((Through the blaze))

I killed them all, painfully...It was a wonderful feeling. To watch them trust me, and then see their faces as I slaughtered them all. Orders are orders, after all. But...something wasn't right....the chimera's last words... "I love you too..." They echoed in my head...

((I know i'm coughing))

Zelgadiss!! What have I done...

((I believe in something))

They came flooding back...all of my memories...surfaced...the hurt was immense.

((I don't want to remember falling))

I knew I felt something...had I...loved the chimera?

((I remember crawling))

"I love you... Zelgadis..." The last place I ever thought I would end up...I went to a beach that night. For a, swim.

((Through the waves))

Thinking, I waded throught the shallow water. Contemplating the actions that I had done earlier, to my..friends. To Zelgadis...my love.

((I know I'm crawling..))

I sank beneath the water. Unable to surface. Unable to think. I didn't want to remember. Everything hurt..

((I remember marching..))

I closed my eyes. Death of a mazoku...for what?

((I don't want to remember falling...))

My friends...humanity...Maybe the dragons?

((I don't want to remember falling...))

Maybe...Zelgadis.

((Through their lies.))

'Had he loved me?' Had he cared. That was my last thought. This time, blackness would hit. Noone would save me. I would die, empty. Exactly how I had been born.

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