Life is like a coin

Addie Kendall Jacobs

Theme song: Two Steps Away-The CO

Chapter 1: Life is like a Coin

Life isn't fair, whether you're privileged or not. Something always happens that flips your whole world upside down and you have to start from rock bottom and work your way up the ladder to make everything better again. That's what my social worker says at least, but to me it's a bucket of lies. Every coin has two sides, you either end up living a life full of terror or one with positive outcomes. At least you can flip it right, you'd say. The problem with that is...my coin is taped with the good side down.

The autumn leaves have finally begun their coloring phase, changing from their lush green color to a vibrant orange. It's always been one of my favorite seasons just because my mind can focus on the little details that the world offers in this time frame. And when the leaves fall to the cold ground, it comforts me to know that I'am not alone.

It's been four months since I've seen my family; it's hard to think that I'm living a thousand miles away from them. I don't understand the point of me being transferred out to Colorado when there are perfectly good group homes in California. Then again, I' am messed up entirely. My throat became tight as I think about the true reason I' am here. The tube that was once securely tucked away inside my body had been tugged and pulled out partially by my last abusive foster father. I was bleeding out and choking, Jude had to call the emergency number. You would think they would believe me about all of this, but the entire police squad saw me only as a sick girl crazy enough to pull out my life support. I was taken out the house and brought to medical care before being transferred here. Jude from what I've heard is all alone still as Callie is locked up in Juvie.

My time is almost up though; I have two more months of treatment. I' m still not at my weight limit, fifteen more pounds till I can leave. It feels like an eternity to be honest, I came here at merely 80lbs and have reached 90lbs which is not a whole lot, but for someone who is 5'2'' it is. Old clothes Callie gave me that she wore when she was ten years old fit me. I'm almost fifteen.

But today is different. I'm going back to California. I was diagnosed by doctors a few months ago for anorexia. It all began when I was nine year old when i was also sent away for my ptsd and depression i struggled with. In the group home for girls like me i became unattached and soon started to purge everything that was given to me, I lost thirty pounds in that month. And then after three years my social worker Bill caught on to my actions and placed me here. However life just never goes right for me and now I have to leave. Sure, I want to leave, but I also want to get better to get this dumb feeding tube out of my nose. However nothing ever comes easy, the system can no longer pay for my treatment, leaving me to figure out how to survive on my own.

Great.

"Adeline Jacobs?" A rusty voice called from behind me. A plump old lady with a black fluffy jacket had her head peaked out the glass door, "Would you come inside dear, we have your paper work for the bus ride."

I stand up and pull my long Navy Blue pullover down and hoist my large Grey Jansport backpack over my shoulder. It was merely 50 degrees here, a little too cold for a Californian like me. I had my on my favorite pair of black leggings with grey socks and brown boots. I'm pretty basic, only because I don't have a lot of clothes.

As I push the glass door open a gust of warm air brings me to my senses, allowing me to observe my surroundings. Ms. Deed stood at the front desk holding a badge and packet of paper including a duffel bag full of my extra belongings. It was only a basketball, two sets of clothes, and my soft grey-blue blanket from my mom. They were the only things that I couldn't fit in my medical bag on my back, which was full of my formulas that I was to eat on strict schedules.

"Alright sweetheart, as much as I love to see your face I don't want to see you back here as a patient," the old woman said. She was very cute, the only person other than my doctor to talk to me, "Come visit someday,"

I nod.

No words have come out of my mouth since the day my family was taken out of good foster home. It just feels right. That night definitely made my top 10 of 'the worst things that have happened to me' list.

The bus has arrived and the doors open. Ms. Deed quickly clipped my name card and ushered me out to my social worker at the bottom on the bus stairs.

Bill, he was a nice guy but he was too occupied in his obsession of the baseball and court appointments to find a time to help my little family. "Hello Adeline,"

It's Addie. I hate when people call me by my full name, it's the name my dad gave me.

Six hours into the bus ride everything felt calm and peaceful. It was a crowded bus full of juvenile detention transfers and foster children like me, but somehow everyone just seemed to be quiet. I've been reading my book for school and sleeping the entire time, not bringing any attention to myself. My hair was now up in a messy bun and my boots off showing my fuzzy grey socks. Looking across the aisle to my left a young girl around the age of Callie was drawing on her legs. The marker was as dark as her hair and seemed to trace all the scars that covered her pale legs. It makes me sad to see people that cope that way, but then again I do have problems too.

I didn't realize I was staring till she made eye contact with me. Quickly I drop my head and turned to look out the clear window, bringing my knees to my chest. The night sky was black like the girls marker with dancing blue stars that shined brighter the more I stared. My mom taught me how to read the stars, Callie too. I'm not allowed to know anything about my family, only to know where they are located. It scares me to know that my little brother is all alone and my sister is in a cell. What's going to happen when I get back? Am I going to see my siblings or am I not able to be put with my brother? I want to see my family.

"Adeline?" A voice called to me from the front of the bus. Reaching for the end of my blanket I pull it up over my shoulders and walk cautiously to the front of the bus. My eyes were almost shut as it was around midnight. Finally I make it up to the front to see Bill lying down with his phone to his face. I pat the seat to catch his attention.

"Hey kiddo, the bus driver said were getting off in about an hour so I suggest you collect your stuff to be ready," He said, "You're going to be staying at your previous house alongside your brother."

My mind went blank.

No please no.

I knew something wasn't going to be right when I go back. I was wrong, I think my coin in super glued not just taped.