Clara Oswald, the Impossible Girl as he'd once called her. Some impossible girl she was, practically letting herself waste away in that flat, getting thinner by the day as well as paler and all around more fragile. The bandages on her arms only proved to be visible evidence of we daily struggle against the murky darkness that was slowly pulling her towards its depths. She had tried so hard to pull herself away from it, but it was all too much. Nightmares plagued her every night, voices screamed at her inside her head. Her past echo's re-living their lives at the expense of hers. She ignored the Doctors calls refusing to let him see her like his, so….so completely broken and hopeless. She stood there in the dead of night; the wind biting at her and making her eyes water as it blew in her face, whipping her mahogany brown locks in every possible direction. Her feet were balanced precariously on the edge of the roof. Through the howling of the wind she heard the door that gave access to the roof open. Great, probably some daft bloke coming up here for a smoke that would try to talk her down. It didn't matter anyway; she had made up her mind. She gathered her courage, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath before stepping forward, anticipating the sickening sensation of falling. But that feeling didn't come. She opened her eyes and registered the fact that there was a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist and a familiar scent enveloping her while warm, panting breath ruffled her hair. She carefully turned her head to see who had her.
His hearts pounded as Clara's sunken eyes looked at him; brokenness seemed to crack her very being.
"What are you doing, Impossible Girl?"
Clara's eyes winded and she felt herself stumble backwards in his grip, her heart seemed to beat in double time as she felt the pounding of his hearts on her back. For that small moment in time she was frozen in shock of him even being here before panic set in.
"No" She begged twisting her body in his grip, trying to get out. She felt tears fall from her eyes "Doctor, please…" She begged, feeling shame at begging to die. But it was all too much; she had to die to make it stop.
The Doctor succeeded in pulling Clara down from the ledge. He held her in his arms so she wouldn't try to jump again. He couldn't lose her. He couldn't let the girl that saved him over and over again die. He had to save her, if he failed; he wouldn't be able to go on with himself again. No one would drop out of the sky like Clara had after Amy and Rory. He faintly registered her struggles to free herself from his arms
"Doctor" Said Clara again, trying to jerk her body out of his grip, a small part of her wondered what she would even do if she got free. Sprint to the edge of the building a throw herself off while he watched the in background? She wouldn't be able to do that, he wasn't supposed to be here.
"Please, please. . . I was supposed to die in your timeline, just let me go. . . I can't do it" She said shaking her head as tears slipped over her wide eyes.
"No, Clara! How can you expect me to just stand by and let you die after you saved me so many times? Before I met you, and I mean you, Clara, Clara Oswald. I was done, I was done traveling, I was done saving people, I was done having companions. The two before you, a married couple. One of them was captured by a band of weeping angels, then the other... she allowed the angel to take her too to be with him. I didn't want to have anyone else after that. You've saved me from many things, Clara... but the greatest enemy you saved me from was myself. I can't let you do the very same thing you saved me from." He told her softly, wiping her glistening tears away.
Clara felt her hands trembling but couldn't bring herself to care
"You'll just find another m-me" She said dropping her head so she would have to look at him. She felt shame bubble up in her as she remember the only other time when she had been to the lowest point in her life. When he mum died, but she had never actually gone through with the plans she made to die and leave this world behind.
"You'll find another Clara, one who isn't this. . ." She looked herself over quickly and found the right word "Damaged."
The Doctor's frown deepened. He shook his head.
"I don't want another Clara. I want you, as you are, no matter how damaged you are! I'm over nine hundred years old, Clara? You don't think I'm damaged? There is so much wrong with me too. I won't leave you alone until I have helped you and shown you just how magnificent and wonderful you are. Damage is beauty. Did you know, in ancient China, they would repair cracks in their dishes with gold to make it more beautiful? I can show you. I just need you to come down off this roof."
The Doctor told Clara, trying anything to make sure that his beloved companion would be safe.
Clara dropped her head and felt her body shake for a moment with sadness, anger, shame and what felt like a hundred other things. She wasn't able to place it all as they all rushed around her body and mind blocking out the voices of her past lives that she was no longer able to control
"Okay" She said shaking her head in what felt like defeat more than agreement "Okay, we can leave the roof" She knew he wouldn't let her jump, so she couldn't see any point of staying up here.
The Doctor's hearts leapt with joy. He wanted to plaster a huge grin across his face but managed to keep a small comforting smile as he took Clara's hand and lead her to the TARDIS.
"I've got a whole collection. You'll see Clara, damage is beauty. I promise." He just needed to get her to the TARDIS, then he would be certain of her safety. he wouldn't trust Clara anywhere else. The two girls may have had disagreements, but the TARDIS definitely didn't want Clara hurt.
Clara felt the Doctor pull away from her and then quickly take her hand as if she were just going to run away from him and fling herself off the edge. She looked up her eyebrows creased as she noticed the almost glowing blue of the TARDIS, she hadn't even noticed the common wheezing of its landing. She gripped his hand a little harder than needed as he opened the door and they stepped it. She never really thought she would see him, much less the TARDIS ever again.
The Doctor led her down to his collection of china. He knew in the back of his mind, this was petty. A pieces of china was golden cracks, but he had to get her to realize she was magnificent. He stopped in front of the glass case, releasing Clara's hand, fearing that she would run off again, but she stayed by his side, still as he opened the case and brought out a tea pot that was riddled with golden lines. He turned and held it out to her.
"See, beautiful. Like you."
Clara took the small tea pot he had handed to her and ran her finger over the small raised cracks on them. She saw the point he was trying to make "Doctor," She said shaking her head and creasing her brows "I. . . I get it, but it's not the same. These are just cups."
The Doctor shook his head.
"No, it really isn't Clara. When these were just cracks, they appeared to be ugly, crisscrossing every which way, all jagged and sharp, causing damage to other people with their sharp edges. But now they're fixed, and you just ran your hand all over those cracks, not one cut. Look at how pretty it is, Clara. The previous owners believed that instead of just throwing this pot away, they fixed it, and when it was repaired, it was beautiful. Let me help repair you Clara, don't just throw yourself away, please?" The Doctor asked. He desperately needed her to see his point.
"Yes I suppose you have a point, but, Clara, right now, you're a broken pot. But with a little bit of heat, and gold, you can be not only just as good as before but better."
Clara looked at the pot for just a moment more before setting it back down carefully on the shelf and nodded staring at the floor like a child who had just been scolded "Okay" She said again, she noticed she seemed to saying that again and nodded clearing her throat slightly and rubbing at her arm.
"I'm sorry" She said after a moment "You weren't supposed to find me like that... ever"
The Doctor smiled tremendously, overjoyed to hear the usual sass in his beloved Clara's voice again. He opened his arms wide and enveloped Clara in a hug. "Thank you, Clara."
Clara's eyes widened as he threw his arms around her, she was still for a small moment before she squeezed her eyes shut and wrapped her arms back around him clutching close to him. She felt horrible, and it was nice to give him a last hug. She still wanted to end her life, but he didn't need to know that right now.
He pulled back from her, keeping his hands on her upper arms. "Alright, I'll make us a cup of tea and then we'll discuss on where to go!" The Doctor said, leading Clara to the kitchen. After tea and a small meal for Clara the Doctor whisked her off to one of his adventures. Before she realized it, Clara was better; the screaming echoes of her past selves were gone. She could live again. She realized what she had done was great, and she was damaged for a while, but the Doctor repaired her Just like those silly little china pots.
I was on omegle today and I don't usually roleplay, but I couldn't resist this one. Story idea goes to miss-spirk. tumblr (put . com at the end of that.
