April 5th
It's finally spring! Everything's blooming, making it look pretty, but I don't care about that. The only thing I care about is the warm weather. After the months of cold weather and freezing my ass off, spring is very welcoming. I wanna go outside and do something, but it's boring to go alone. I can't just go up to a member of the Mafia and ask "Hey, you, wanna go outside and play a bit?" And I'm definitely not going to Near for anything. So the only person I can really go to right now is Matt. Heh, like he'll ever go outside. All he does is stay in his room and play games all day.But maybe trying to get him outside will provide me with some kind of entertainment. And it's a challenge. A challenge I will win!
I did and said everything I could think of, even going so far as to put my gun to his head, and he still refused! What the fuck is wrong with me!? I thought he was my friend! He must be tired of me. Just like everyone else.
. . .
Damn it!
--
April 6th
Okay, I'm gonna try again today. He better not be playing that same game. The music was so fucking annoying! I might try taking his controller away this time. Then he'd atleast look at me! I'll be back later.
Still nothing! And this time I was the one fearing for my life. I threatened to unplug the game and just as I grabbed the cord he shot at me! Needless to say I quickly let go. I couldn't get to his controller either. He's more cunning than I thought. Have I been underestimating him this whole time?
Damn it. I'm not giving up!
--
April 7th
I only had a little time to spend with Matt today, as I had other things to take care of. So, ofcourse, no progress. Most of my time was spent staring at him and trying to figure out what to do or say next.
Just...fuck it, I'll try again tomorrow.
--
April 8th
He actually looked at me today. Oh what great progress!
Fuck sarcasm. It was just a little glance. Although it made me feel a bit accomplished, it still wasn't a victory. But it was weird how surprisingly easy it was to make him look at me. All I had to do was yell "I'm naked!" Why didn't I think of that before? Something that random would even get Near's attention.
I wonder what his reaction would be if I actually was naked? Probably won't be trying that one anytime soon.
--
April 9th
Damn it. He really got me today. I went for the plug again and this time I got it! But when I unplugged the system he just casually went and played his hadheld. Apparently the bastard saved right before I unplugged it. He knows how hard it is to take a handheld system from someone.
Unless you straddle them...
Wait, what the hell am I thinking about!?
--
April 18th
I know I haven't written in a while, but I have a reason. I promised myself on the 10th that I wouldn't write again until I succeeded. So this means I finally did it!
It wasn't easy, though. And very awkward as well.
For days we went through the same routine. I'd unplug the system and he'd just switch to a handheld, knowing that I wouldn't be able to get it from him. But after seven days I finally decided to hell with personal space. He laid down and started playing, and I did exactly what I said I was going to on the 9th. I straddled him and glared down at him before attempting to take his handheld. It was surprisingly easy, infact he practically let me have it. But soon after I knew why. He sat up as I pulled the handheld away then kissed me. He kissed me! I didn't know what to do at first. But then when the shock wore off I quickly pulled away with no objections from Matt. For one long moment all I could do was glare at him, flushed, and try and think of something to say. But everytime I'd open my mouth no words would come out.
"Congrats," Matt finally said. 'Congrats?' For what!? I'm still not sure exactly what he meant by that. But afterwards he did go outside with me...finally!
I can't help but think that somehow he was testing me, and even teasing me at times. Am I going to be tested throughout my whole life? For once I wish something would just be handed to me, no tests, no challenges.
Damn it, now I'm pissed. Hopefully Matt will calm me down a bit. After finally "breaking" him we've been spending more time together, like we used to at Wammy House. I like it...I always did. I feel calm around Matt, but sometimes I feel vulnerable as well. But, for once, I don't mind. Why is that?
Is this what love feels like...?
