That Would Be Enough

It'd had been three years, three whole miserable, sad and empty years since my little Hope Maria disappeared in the dead of night. Three years of Nico and I falling back as parents to our other beautiful kids simply because the eldest wasn't around. Three years of fake smiles and hidden grief.

No leads. No evidence. No sightings. Signs of forced entry. She fell off the face of the earth.

And then Silena and Carter went out to find her. It's been 2 and a half years. Chiron has come to the conclusion that they(Hope included) were most likely dead. The camp burned shrouds the lost legacies, a complex thing to do with two godly ancestors. A combination of both traditional shrouds for each side of their families was set to fire.

Clarisse was a mess. Her husband, having been lost in Iraq only two months after her daughter went on a quest that it wasn't likely she'd come back from. be gone for what seemed to be forever. Annabeth and Percy were even worse. They held it together for Chase, Luca and Charlie.

I couldn't say the same for myself. I was without any doubt a mess. I didn't work anymore. Nico was our sole provider. I was depressed and broken. I stayed home and kept the rest of our kids lives together.

I had this constant guilt. I couldn't be a good parent because my eldest is gone. My other kids didn't deserve a dad like me. If only I'd known. I could've saved her. If I had known, had realized she had reached the age from Nico's dream, I could've kept her safe. Protected her. If I hadn't been so arrogant, Hope wouldn't be gone! She'd be here with me, and Nico, and River and the twins and everyone else in our lives.

It's all my fault!

All my fault.

All. Mine.

And then there was River. He's such a beautiful kid. Amazing. Wonderful. But he had a few...issues. River has some unknown condition. It's pretty severe. He won't talk to practically anyone outside of our house, and with Hope gone it's gotten worse. The boy's extremely intelligent, but has issues with talking to people. He's okay with me and Nico. Hope. Brianna. Little Addie and Sammy. Nicky. But otherwise, the kid won't say a word. Doctors can't figure it out. It's something demigodly. He has horrible migraines. Passes out randomly. Rarely minor seizures. Sometimes he completely spaces out. He'll every once in a while lose feeling in different parts of his body. It's gotten worse since Hope left.

Nico's a mess. Hope disappearing is tearing him apart. Eating away at him. It feels like I've lost him, too. And River, oh Nico and River.

He's stopped eating right. If I wasn't here to force food down his throat I don't think he'd be here at all. He's grown paler. The lines in his face are much deeper from stress and worry. He doesn't sleep pretty much at all.

Nico told me. Our son...our son has a strong death aura. He says he won't last long.

And on top of that there's Hazel. Passed away only two weeks after having her second child Maya. Car accident.

Hope's gone. River's...I can't bear to say it. River's...fading. My Nico, my wonderful Nico, shattered.

Our lives have tumbled completely. Sure, our kids think we're okay. And we definitely act like we are around them. Act happy. Like we aren't the messes we are. But I do break down. River or Brianna or Addie or Sammy will bring up Hope and I'll cry. They'll walk into me and Nico's room and he's burrowed into my shoulder, sobbing. But by far the saddest part is having to explain to a three year old boy who his big sister is. Trying to teach Nicholas why this sister he hasn't met isn't ar"She's just away for a little while, Nicky." I'd tell him.

"For how long?" He's reply.

"I don't know, sweetheart. It'll be soon, okay? We'll get her back soon."ound.

The kids don't have even an inkling of an idea that Hope...that they not see her again. They don't know at all how severe this is.

From the outside we seem pretty successful. Large, nice, expensive house and a very white-collar neighborhood just outside New York. Neeks has a law firm, I'm—I was the head surgeon at a large children's hospital. My job is promised back to me when I'm ready. Nice cars, nice home. Money. But on the inside we're empty. Broken.

At least we were up until the sighting.