Description: the real life story of a girl that's in love, in pain, alone, with friends, a home, at school and also named Spencer Carlin. I'm Spencer Carlin and these are my really life expires of being in love and have you heart ripped out and the person that ripped it out has no idea she did it.

Authors' note: this story is based on my life expires and are my true emotions about a girl that I wish was mine. If she only know how much I really loved her. I might add another chapter if this turns out good.

The True Story of: a Heart Broken Girl

Chap.1

Spencer Carlin…..

This has been a great year so far, I'm not a freshman any more I'm a shopmore so I know how the school works I know how it goes. I'm more outgoing this year, I look better this year, and feel better. My teachers are mad cool, and plus like no homework.

But one thing the girl I like. Well its really cool cuz after my science lab class which is 8th period every other day I walk past her locker and we talk, & then together we walk over to my locker, that across from the gym. And then she goes to the gym to get ready for her field hockey practice or a game which I always wish her luck in.

Then after that I feel like I'm flying for some time. But she just got a boyfriend and she is not at her looker by the time a walk past it. She is off kissing HIM. Aiden, a tool he plays football, baseball, and wrestling. I wish he was gay because football, & wrestling are for boys who like to touch one another. The boy I heat, the boy I envy. I sometimes wish I was a boy so I could have a chance with her. But if I'm not a boy I stand no chance.

I want her so.

She cut her hair yesterday & when I saw it my heart nearly stopped. Chocolate eyes, and auburn hair with a hint of red. Her face is round she has a cute little noise, and a perfect smile. When I try to talk to her nothing comes out right, I either can't make a complete sentence, or I can't find the right words to say.

I was in a class with her in sixth grade. It was a reading class; I would sit next to her every day. We would share answers we got on work and did it all together. And Fridays we would read a book, like play books so everyone could have a part. Most times we would read books and there was a mom & dad, I would play the dad & Ashley would play the mom. We would make funny ascents for the characters.

I know I sound like a little kid in love, but I can't help it. The summer in to seventh grade I would stare at my year book and look at Ashley's picture. I would run my hand over it. I thought it was because I really liked her and thought she was funny and smarter than me. But then I realized my friends didn't obsess over a new friend.

Then I cried for days, I know what was going on with myself. I liked Ashley, as more than a friend. For a year I avoided Ashley I would take the long way to classes so I wouldn't see her and wouldn't be stuck try to talk to her. But Ashley found my, she would sway her hips and wavy hi, or try to talk to me. And all I could say was "I miss you not in my reading class it's so boring." I was a scared, but after I saw her I would be sooo happy.

On day I saw her with a boy, an eighth grader. I was so mad I automatically heated him. He got everything I wanted. His looker was right by mine so Ashley would wave and say "Hi" and go to her boyfriend's looker. It killed me. I found out who he was and I imagined paying people to tell him to stay away from Ashley.

Then facebook came and I wrote her messages and commented on every this she did, what a stoker. I realized I was I little stoker, and removed posts. I couldn't stop thinking about it. Then a new show came on about two lesbians that deled with the things I was feeling and it made me fell not like a total out cast.

I was still in the reading class but Ashley got out of it and I started to have 'ANGER' issues the teach said. But that teacher show how mad I was. So she got Ashley to come to class around charismas time. I still think she was the best present I ever got. I wish that's what I got for charismas last year.

I wrote her songs, poems, sonnets, and I tried hycoons. I wrote her initials all over my note book with heart around them. I couldn't do anything without thinking about her. It was the worst time in my life. I wondered if this ever happened to any one else. From everyone I know one know one felt this was.

The way I love her is the way it still is.

And I still want her so bad.

Does the pain every go away?

Will Ashley ever be mine?