The snowflakes ceased. The last pieces hung in midair, floating like they suddenly lost gravity, like they lost their source. The storm stopped, the wind disappeared, the ice stopped cracking. The whole world fell silent. Everyone stood in place, the only thing anyone moved was their eyes.
I remember how badly the contrast was, how it burned my eyes; the contrast of red against white. Everything around me was pale, white, frosted over, nothing held color, except for the disgustingly vibrant splatter of crimson across silver, across white hair, across the snow, and a sliver dripping down my boot. The fact that it touched me, that the very life of my sister was splattered in front of me, made my stomach lurch.
I was the only one who moved, after my moment of shock, I couldn't keep it in, I didn't want to shatter the painstakingly silent moment, when inside of me a storm was brewing. How could everything around me be so peaceful when inside of me was in chaos? I fell to my knees in front of her crumpled, body, glistening with blood that was so red it made my hair look pale. I didn't care if it touched me, I couldn't care, I was too shaken.
I took her, in my arms, blood covering me, staining my pale skin, staining her pale skin, dying her white hair crimson. But I didn't care. I needed my sister, I needed her more than ever, I needed her as close to me as possible, but no matter how much I crushed her limp body to me, she was farther away than ever. She was worlds away, I felt alone. Even more alone than when she shut door in my face so many times. For years I was alone, but I never felt as alone as I did know. But then I knew I had a chance, then I knew she could open the door, it was a possibility. But those were gone. Hope was gone. My sister, was gone. My sister… was gone… I felt a hand on my shoulder, I wasn't sure if it was Hans or Kristoff but at that moment I didn't care, I shoved them off of me.
I must've been there for a long time because it started getting dark. I heard Kristoff say something, but I couldn't hear him, either over my sobs, or over my conscious screaming at me. I ignored him. I couldn't let my sister go. A hurricane couldn't tear me away from her. Her body at least. My sister, my only sister, her mind, her soul, her life, was torn away from me. Because I couldn't get to her in time. Because I made her run away. Because I pushed her. Elsa was dead. Because of me…
Elsa was gone. My world was gone, torn from my grip. She was always just out of my reach, and just when my fingertips touched her, touched the chance I had, with her or maybe happiness with another, it was ripped from my view forever, brutally murdered, stabbed, killed, my heart, my love, my only family.
I was all alone. Fear, disgrace, pain, and guilt, so much guilt, tugged at my heart, enveloping it in a blizzard, a staggering storm raged inside of me, never being stifled. Not since the Ice Queen took my heart, and cursed it with her love, and then left me alone, pushed me away, for my own protection, saved me from herself, so selflessly, and I couldn't save her. She wasted away her entire life saving me, and the first time she's in danger I wasn't there for her. I let her die. I let her die…
What could I do? Leave her on the ice? Let them take her away, throw her in a wooden box six feet under, and let them tell me to forget about her, that its better for me, learn to move on, and then start to believe them? Take over Arendelle, marry Kristoff, have children, and live a happy life never remembering the name Elsa ever again? The one who froze my heart? Froze my heart and ripped it right out of my chest when her life was ripped from her body?
That could never happen. They'd have to pry her body out of my arms, kicking and screaming, ripping her casket open and crying over her body, throwing myself in her grave, begging God to give life back to her cold, limp body. When they somehow got me away from her and the casket in the ground I'd never forget her. I'd remember her every night before I shut my eyes. Every time I passed by her door I'd lower my head. Every time I'd look at her spot at the head of the table, and hold back tears. Every time I'd get a chill, her blue eyes would look at me. And every time it'd snow, I'd spend the entire day in my bed, unsuccessfully trying to hold back sobs, ripping my hair out of my head, to stop her haunting memory.
I'd never take over Arendelle, I'd refuse, let them figure out what to do with the kingdom. I'd never marry Kristoff. I could never stand in front of the altar with him, and look to my right where she would be and next to me, hand in hand, wearing an identical ring to mine, where she should be. I could never have children with him, every time we'd lay down in bed together I'd look in his eyes and see big, kind, bright, ice blue eyes.
I could never live a life without her. Not a happy life, not even a depressed life. It'd be too lifeless to be a life. It would be colorless, soundless; the only thing it would consist of was pain, and guilt, and sadness and regret.
My Elsa, my Queen, my sister, my only family, the keeper of my heart was gone from my life.
The wind started to pick up again, reminding me of my surroundings, I took a quick look around, my eyes falling on a silver glint two feet away, masked by red, but silver peeking through. That's when it registered. Hans. Hans killed her. Anger flashed through me.
And then another thought entered my head, forcing an idea in my head; once there it wouldn't leave. The thought lingered just long enough to cause me, before I was conscious of what I was doing to stagger onto my feet and find that silver in my hand; letting fear take over. Forgetting logic, forgetting reason, in a moment of panic, not knowing what my life would be without her, not wanting to know, I took the sword and plunged it straight, clean through my chest and my frozen heart. I gasped, the pain overwhelming.
I fell on my side, pain practically blinding me, but I kept my eyes open long enough to see Elsa's beautiful, pale face inches away from mine, laying right next to me. She was so beautiful, the picture of grace, of perfection. It brought peace to my dying mind, making me smile one last time as I remembered every moment I had with her, ups and downs, mostly on opposite sides of the door, but together, only having each other.
The last thought that went through my head as a felt blood soak the snow beneath me was that I wished this didn't have to happen, I wished I could live happily ever after with her, I wish I could have protected her and loved her as much as she did me. I wish it was me who died first so she could have lived on, happily. I just wished I could be with her. Snow began fluttering to the ground, tickling my cheeks. I felt the weight leaving my body, wishing just one thing could've changed, that I could at least have told her that I loved her one more time. Snow beautifully fell around us, creating a scene of elegance. I brought my mitten-clad hand up and brushed her beautiful cheek as I felt my condemned body empty of life, I whispered to her, wishing she would answer, just this one time.
"Do you want to build a snowman?"
A/N: This is my like first fic in a long long time, and I didn't put much time into it, which isn't a good thing to say, but this was written purely on impulse, I haven't even edited it what so ever. But I wrote it with that in mind, it was just a bunch of thoughts I wanted to put on paper (or into pixels). But anyway, the ending was weak, and the title or summary isn't my best, but I was just too moved by Frozen, I had to express it. There's probably more to come, and with more time and effort. Either way, feel free to give me feedback, I appreciate it, and I hope you at least got something out of this. ~Shadow
